North
by alien09
Summary: I haven't been to this park in a while since we became an us. / EPIC Puckleberry that spins off course from Rhodes Not Taken. Nominated for 3 2011 PR Fanfic Awards. COMPLETED.
1. Chapter 1

**a/n: I should be working on my other fics. But this plot bunny wouldn't leave me. So saw Rhodes and Finn = hell to the no. Puck + Rachel = twas ever thus. My first attempt at Glee – please let me know what you think!**

Rachel cringed, watching Finn seat himself beside Quinn. The blonde Cheerio flipped her bouncy hair and pouted up at her boyfriend, snuggling herself closer to Finn. Wrapping her arms around herself, Rachel twisted around to face the piano, letting the sounds of the rest of the Glee members in conversation wash over her.

He had used her. Played her like a cheap…worse, he had manipulated her. And it was _Finn_. One look at that sweet, honest face and no one would have thought him capable of such a thing. But in the end, she had let him win hadn't she? She had sucked up her pride and asked if they would let her back in. Casting her eye around the choir room, Rachel felt a small smile pull at her lips.

No one had ever really liked Rachel Berry before Glee. In fact, a few of the people who had made her life a living hell were currently seated just a few feet away from her. Her eyes landed on Noah Puckerman and she was caught off guard when he quickly averted his gaze away.

Huh.

Sighing softly to herself, Rachel plucked at the keys absently, letting the notes linger in the air before being drowned out by the sounds of her friends talking and laughing. It felt so good to be back here. Sure she acted like a diva and she wasn't sure why people were still unwilling to accept her inevitable rising star, but these people liked her because of that. So she was glad she had decided to opt out of Cabaret, lick her wounds and swallow her pride, and ask if they would take her back as if they didn't already realize they couldn't win Nationals without her.

_But it still hurt_, she thought, giving Finn one last look before finally rising from the bench. She started collecting the sheet music and placing it in her pack, deciding to feign a headache and skip out on Glee. Maybe she would wander around the neighbourhood for a while, visit with Mrs Randle since her grandchildren had left for college a few weeks ago. Dad and Daddy were out of town until the end of the week so she was sure-

'You leaving Berry?'

Startled, Rachel almost threw her elbow out in response. Catching herself, and restraining her eyes from widening, she noticed Puck shifting his feet about, as if he was wary.

'Why?' He couldn't fault her for being suspicious, could he? This was the same guy who had thrown slushies at her since the beginning of high school.

'You usually make a production out of everything.'

'Just because I feel the need to express myself fully doesn't mean that I do it all the time. Besides, sometimes discretion is the better part of valour,' Rachel pointed out, hoisting her backpack up. Puck noticed her eyes sliding over towards the happy couple. 'Please tell Mr Schuester that I wasn't feeling well.'

'Tell him yourself,' Puck shot back, pointing behind him at Mr Schue. He watched the Berry girl turn around, allowing himself a moment to take in her nice brown hair, before shaking his head.

He didn't know why the sight of Rachel sitting at a keyboard, making moony eyes at his best friend, had bothered him so much. Perhaps it was because he felt a weird sort of sympathy with her, despite the fact that the mother of his child had already decided that he wasn't good enough to be a decent father. Or maybe it was because the picture of a deflated, defeated Rachel was so at odds with the persona she chose to project. Whatever it was, his legs and mouth had overridden his brain.

'Rachel? What's wrong?' Mr Schuester asked, affecting that look of deep concern that had Puck wondering if it was genuine. Finn looked up at the sound of her name, Puck noted wryly.

'My throat is beginning to feel sore and since my voice is my instrument, I need to ensure that this infection isn't anything serious. May I please be excused? I'll be here tomorrow Mr Schuester, I promise.'

The teacher blinked, appearing bewildered for a full minute before gracing Rachel with a hesitant smile. 'Err sure Rachel. Just keep practicing those lines and I'll see you tomorrow.'

Watching her arch her back stiffly as she walked out of the room, Puck couldn't help but smirk. Despite how crazy she was half the time, he couldn't find fault in her choice of attire. How someone that small had legs that long was beyond him.

_Ah damn._

Puck picked up the piece of paper Rachel had left behind.

'Oh. Make sure she gets that Puck, would ya?' Mr Schue asked, clapping him on the back. He stood there for a moment before shrugging. There wouldn't be anyone left in the halls anyway. Not that his popularity had been all that great since he joined Glee.

_Tell me who should I be to make you love me?_

_Tell me what does it mean to be alone?_

_You've got me wondering if I'm good enough_

_Pretty enough, giving enough, special enough_

_Tell me who should I be to make you love me…_

Her voice carried and drifted down the hall towards him. Puck swallowed, hearing the thinly veiled pain within the words. No matter how…odd Rachel was, he couldn't deny that it didn't raise goosebumps on his skin whenever he heard her sing. There was something about the way she threw herself into the music, allowed herself to feel her way through the chords and lyrics and create the story behind it. When you heard her sing, you could almost picture it in your mind.

Clearing his throat, Puck hurried his pace until he was almost within reach of her.

_Ah shit._

She was crying. He hated it when girls cried. He never knew what to do, what to say.

So he relied on familiarity.

'Geez freak, why it everytime I see you you're either lusting after Finn or throwing some kind of diva fit that involves tears or-'

She sniffled and the words died in his throat.

'Here,' he thrust the sheet music roughly at her. Rachel kept her face averted from his, but he heard her take a hearty sniff before gently easing the paper from his grip. Her fingers brushed against his. He jerked away.

'Thank you,' she seemed to whisper the words, like she was afraid to raise her voice.

'Don't mention it. Ever,' Puck replied, shoving his hands in his pockets. Rachel seemed to pause before she walked away again.

Watching her small frame disappear into the orange-tinged sky of dusk, Puck realized that this was the first time Rachel and him had ever really spoken.

Looking down at his hand, he remembered the burning, fleeting sensation that had sparked up his fingers when she had brushed her small fingers against it.

It lingered no matter how many times he washed his hands with Dettol, causing his mother to give him what could only be described as a hairy eyeball.

It ghosted over his skin as he slept that night.

He dreamed of shiny brown hair, big glassy eyes and pale, small hands.


	2. Chapter 2

**a/n: to everyone who reviewed, alerted, favourited etc? you guys are SO the win :) i'm such a stickler for making characters canon so if i'm veering off, please let me know! but again - you guys are famazing!**

Puck blamed the yellow dress.

Berry usually wore those sweater vests, knee-highs and short skirts. Not that he was complaining. He had to admit while the girl was psychotic and could probably talk enough to widen that big hole in the ozone, the librarian look kind of worked for her.

You know, if you were into that kind of thing.

Not that he was. After all, it wasn't like he had dreamed of plaid and black penny loafers last night. How those really long legs had felt really good wrapped around him like-

'Puck!' Kurt's voice brought that line of thought to a screeching halt.

'Now that you've finally decided to grace us with your presence,' the much smaller and much skinnier boy said sarcastically, 'I was wondering if you've seen Rachel?'

Puck raised an eyebrow. 'I haven't seen Crazy anywhere.'

Kurt narrowed his eyes. 'You do realize that you're one of us now, don't you? Therefore those quaint little nicknames have become a bit passé.'

'Whatever. I haven't seen her,' Puck replied. He noticed Finn and Quinn sequestered in a corner. 'I'm out. It's been an experience Beyonce.' Making sure his eyes were focused on the door and nothing else, Puck made sure to swagger out of the choir room. Pulling out a breath, he felt his fingers dig deep into his palms.

God, what was it about Finn that made him so much better than him? It wasn't that his best friend was a bad guy but still. What right had Quinn to rag him about irresponsibility when her boyfriend couldn't decide which of the mains he wanted to sample first?

It made him want to punch something. Heading towards the field, Puck was surprised to hear someone was already there.

_I never wanted to say this  
You never wanted to stay  
I put my faith in you, so much faith  
And then you just threw it away  
You threw it away_

_I'm not so naive  
My sorry eyes can see  
The way you fight shy  
Of almost everything  
Well, if you give up  
You'll get what you deserve_

Groaning, Puck wondered why he couldn't catch a break. Seriously, did this chick make it her personal mission to be everywhere he was?

Making sure to stomp his feet, he wasn't sure why he was so disappointed when Berry stopped singing. So used to hearing her belt out show tunes, the almost primal way she had sung those words made his toes curl in a good way.

'Oh hello. I didn't realize that anyone else would be here,' Berry said in what could only be described as a prissy kind of way.

Rachel self-consciously smoothed her hair down, watching as Puck folded his arms across his chest. It made him look even more imposing than he already did. Nervously she flicked her eyes around, wondering if he had brought any of his friends along.

'Something wrong Berry?'

Rachel gritted her teeth, biting her tongue. No matter how brutish he was, she reminded herself that any star worth her salt didn't stoop down to such levels. No, she would be polite and civil.

'No. I was merely contemplating whether this was some kind of preclude to an elaborate set-up you had designed,' she told him, bending down to pick up her backpack.

She had wandered down to the bleachers purely by accident. Sure she had decided that her and Finn couldn't be together anymore. Rachel had even offered an olive branch towards Quinn. But that didn't mean she could tolerate the sight of the both of them canoodling. She had been on her way towards her car when Jacob had appeared out of nowhere, flashing her that creepy grin and perverted smile that made her skin crawl. The football field had presented an opportune refuge.

Well, she thought, until now.

Puck blinked at her words. 'Yeah whatever Berry. Scram.'

'Excuse me?' The frost covering her words was unmistakable. 'I don't see a sign proclaiming this property as yours. Until such time I do, I'll stay here however long I desire.' To emphasize her point, Rachel all but threw her backpack down as she seated herself on one of the benches. What looked like a vein in Puck's head throbbed.

'I've had a shitty day, alright Gleek? Don't make me do something I'm going to regret,' Puck told her, eyes flashing as he started climbing the bleachers. Swallowing, Rachel shifted uneasily.

While Finn was large by any measure, especially considering her rather petite size, Rachel had never felt afraid around him. Safe, warm, sometimes wanted yes. But nothing about Puck screamed safe. Puck made mothers want to lock their daughters in medieval towers and chop all their hair off, maybe grow a tangle of thorny vines and corral a fire-breathing dragon to guard the keep.

Finn was all innocence. Puck was pure, unadulterated sin.

'Nothing to say?' He was in front of her now, his face inches from her own. She thought his eyes flickered over her face, saw something she couldn't quite put a finger on flash through them before that familiar, arrogant smirk pulled at his lips.

Her fingers around the edge of the bench tightened imperceptibly in response.

'I have many things to say Noah-'

'My name is _Puck_.'

'Puck is a nickname derived from your family name. Your real name is Noah.'

'No one calls me that.'

'Oh, I find it hard to believe that your mother would refer to you in such a manner.'

'Maybe I should have made myself clearer. _You _don't get to call me that.'

'I can call you whatever I want _Noah_,' Rachel told him bravely, shrinking away as he pressed his face closer. 'It's within my constitutional right to do so.'

'Listen Berry, you and I?' Puck said, a finger gesturing towards the both of them. 'We don't like each other.'

'I never said I didn't like you.'

Puck snorted. 'Please, I throw slushies at you. I egged your house.'

Rachel felt some of that old hurt swell up inside, taking in his words. Why couldn't she hate him? Why couldn't she hate Quinn? They had made her high school life miserable. She had lost track of the number of times she had had to walk down the corridors, covered in blue sticky ice, trying to hold her head up high as the other students laughed and pointed. Based on all the available information, she should hate Finn too for using her.

'I choose to believe that underneath all that malicious and infantile behaviour, there resides something much kinder,' Rachel finally said. 'After all, someone who loves music as much as I do can't be as bad as he pretends to be.'

Getting to her feet as Puck jerked his head back in surprise, she made sure that none of her extremities made contact with his large body.

'You think you know me Berry? Is that it?'

Rachel was sure her eyes were sad when she looked at him. 'You throw slushies at me and call me names when you don't know anything about me. How is that any different?'

This time when she walked away, he didn't say a word. Looking over her shoulder, she saw his red letterman jacket and hunched shoulders, and wondered whether that had been the right thing to say.


	3. Chapter 3

Puck didn't like the way Rachel Berry spoke as if she knew him.

All that talk about hiding who he really was, like he was some kind of candidate for a multiple personality disorder?

Bull.

Noah Puckerman was who he wanted to be, thank you very much. He was on the football team because, let's face it, the left tackle was the only thing keeping that squad from really and truly sucking. He was in Glee because he was just that awesome on the guitar. Yeah, keeping an eye on Quinn and the baby had been a somewhat weighty decision in favour of joining Glee. But after the blonde had soundly rejected him and Puck had spent the better part of a few weeks trying to consider whether Finn really was that retarded if he thought the hot tub made his girlfriend pregnant, he had to admit that singing and dancing wasn't as lame as he thought it would be (not that he would ever admit that out loud). But the fact was he would make wearing a dress look cool so it was all relative.

So he had woken up, gone to the local 7/11 and picked up a nice raspberry slushie. It had felt like a pink ice day. With the sweating plastic cup securely in his hand, Puck had walked along the halls of McKinley High, eyes peeled for Rachel. It wasn't hard to spot her prim blouse and hypocritically short skirt.

A few guys from the football team slapped high fives and hollered down the halls beside him. Up ahead, he saw Santana and Brittney huddled together.

Yeah, the fact that Berry made the attempt of trying to stand up to him took a lot of guts for someone who so closely resembled a midget. But the crux of the matter was that he was at the top of the social food chain and she was way, _way _at the bottom. The slushie facials were just his way of maintaining stability, ensuring that the masses didn't rebel against the hierarchy.

Rachel saw him coming, like she always did. But this time when their eyes met something seemed different. Those big eyes hit him like a freight train. God, since when were they so goddamn expressive? The grip on the plastic cup grew tighter.

_You throw slushies at me and call me names when you don't know anything about me. How is that any different?_

It was different because she was Rachel Berry. She posted her videos on mySpace almost religiously, wore argyle and spoke as if she had swallowed both a dictionary and a thesaurus combined. She didn't attempt to be something that others could be comfortable with. She was herself in the end, wasn't she? Signing her name with those ridiculous gold stars and broadcasting the fact that she was going to be the next big thing on Broadway. Rachel invited ridicule on herself. It wasn't Puck's fault that he was one of the many that chose to accept that call.

Berry was staring right at him now. Her eyes flicked down to the slushie in his hand and Puck watched as she cringed ever so slightly before squaring her tiny shoulders and clutching her books tighter to her chest. Her walk became like an executioner's march as their paths came ever nearer. Puck felt the weight of the cup in his hands, the condensation collecting on the plastic making his hands sweat.

Puck lifted the lid off.

Rachel raised her chin.

He threw the slushie at her. There was no shock when the sticky, syrupy ice dripped down her face. There was no gasp of outrage or indignation as her blouse got stained a horrible garish pink. People around him started to laugh. Puck stood there for a moment, watching as Rachel's mouth quivered.

Something inside him twisted.

The plastic cup in his hand cracked.

He hadn't seen her since then. But it was time for Glee and Puck had made his way towards the choir room diligently.

Why did this time feel different? He had been dousing Rachel with slushies since she had transferred from out of town. He didn't know why, exactly, it had started but it had become a ritual almost.

_There resides something much kinder_, she had said.

Puck resisted the urge to snort when he walked in and saw Rachel already there alone, her hands trailing across the piano. A quick glance at the clock confirmed he was early.

**_So...  
Here I am alone again  
Waiting for the story to finally end  
While the world  
Spins around  
It's out of my hands  
Don't even try to understand…_**

**_And I guess it's time to tell you  
What you should already know  
Oh you know  
I'm better __breathing__ on my own  
All alone…_**

The melancholy the infused the words made the stabbing in his chest increase. The girl sitting before him was small, even smaller than she actually was. There was none of that bravado and abrasiveness that so characterized her. Rachel was exactly how she was that day when he had given her that piece of staff paper – vulnerable.

And this time he couldn't blame Finn. No, this time it was because of him.

The stabbing became a piñata, that hard paper mache covering being worn away by the sticks beating it.

The door opened noisily behind him, admitting the rest of the Glee club. Rachel, startled, looked up. Brown glassy eyes, so very much like those that lurked around his dreams at night, turned away quickly when they met his green ones.

She was like that the rest of Glee. He hadn't expected her to greet him as effusively as she did Finn – with those big smiles, with her eyes crinkled at the corners and her cheeks dimpled. Rachel treated him as if he were a hostile stranger that she was forced to get along with - which was exactly what he was, Puck thought upon further reflection.

Something about her demeanour tugged at him, made his body uneasy and his mind and heart itchy. He didn't know how to get rid of that prickle, so he decided to scratch it. He hung back after Glee, seeing Rachel speak to Mr Schue with elaborate hand gestures and excessive flourishing as the man listened attentively. Puck made a production out of storing the acoustic guitar he had borrowed, allowing himself a moment to remember how Artie and him had jammed. Hearing the door reverberate shut, Puck was surprised to see Rachel about to walk out the door.

'Hey Berry!'

His words made her speed up. Soon she was pushing open the doors but Puck's long stride quickly made up the distance between them.

'Berry!'

She gave a resigned sigh, her feet shuffling and her fists clenching as she stopped.

'Is there something you needed Puck?'

'I thought it was Noah,' Puck reminded her, attempting to joke but the levity falling flat when he took in her expressionless face.

'I repeat, did you require something _Puck_,' Rachel repeated somewhat testily, pulling at her pink trolley bag. Now that she was here in front of him, he didn't know what to say. Scratching the back of his head, he looked down at her and drew a blank.

'As riveting as this conservation is, my fathers are expecting-'

'I'm sorry,' the words came out. Rachel blinked, slowly, as if that had been the last thing she had expected him to say to her.

'Sorry for what exactly?'

'I'm just sorry okay?' Puck shot back, getting annoyed. 'For this morning.'

'Why? You've been doing it for…well, for an extremely long time. I fail to see how an apology now is warranted.'

He couldn't tell her that her words had made him do it. She had told him that she thought he was kind, that he wasn't as bad as he pretended to be. That deep down inside, he was good. Aside from his own mother, no one had ever told him anything like that.

'Look Puck. You're going to do it again next week. You are nothing if not a creature of habit. Any remorse you exhibit now would ultimately be made redundant. So don't waste your breath.'

Shit, was that guilt?

'Berry,' he said her name like a plea, like he was asking her what to do.

'I'll see you tomorrow, I suppose.'

Then she was gone, her pink bag rolling against the linoleum like a damn gavel.

Puck ran a hand down his Mohawk.

_Well fuck. When the hell did Rachel Berry become a person?_

**A/n: the song is 'breathing on my own' by majandra delfino. The lyrics from the first chapter is 'kiss me fool' by fefe dobson. Mayhap we can reach, say 35 reviews? Or more? Pretty please?**

**Glee has officially taken over my life. As has Mark Salling and his incredible voice. His album is phenomenal. **


	4. Chapter 4

After her conversation with Puck a few days ago, the football player seemed to have given her a wide berth during Glee and at school. Not that that was unusual but it had earned him quizzical looks from the rest of New Directions. Mr Schue had dismissed them early because of the game tonight. Rachel had yet to attend one. She didn't understand the game and it wasn't as if anyone she knew wanted her there. If they did, they had never asked.

Rachel looked around the empty house as she walked in the front door, letting out a resigned sigh as she stamped her feet on the rattan matt her fathers had placed in the mud room. Flicking on the light, she picked up the piece of paper on the granite counter top.

'Dear Princess, we've had to make an unexpected trip out of state blah blah blah,' Rachel murmured under her breath. 'Will be back next week. Again.' Crumbling up the note, she tossed it into the bin on her way out. On the one hand she was grateful for her fathers absence. It meant she didn't have to explain her rather depressed demeanour at the moment. Rachel had made a concerted effort to shield her parents from the bullying and meaningless taunts she received at school. It wasn't worth worrying them over such trivial matters.

_Though it does matter to me._

Scrounging up the stained shirt from her bag that had been left forgotten in her locker, Rachel emitted a mournful sound when realized that there was no way the raspberry slushie was going to come out, no matter the elbow grease she put into it. Fingering the ruined piece of clothing, Rachel remembered when Dad had given it to her as reward for getting the lead in Cabaret. While she wasn't as materialistic as the rest of her classmates, she was prone to bouts of sentimentality. Attaching value to inanimate objects was a weakness that she had yet to divest herself off.

Looking into the mirror, Rachel wondered what was wrong with her. She supposed she was pretty in her own way. Fingering the strands of chestnut hair, noting how shiny and healthy it was, she gave a vicious tug. Her nose wasn't as big as that overpriced choreographer had said it was, was it? Turning her face from left to right, Rachel didn't know what to make of it. She worked hard to keep her body in shape though. The vigorous exercise and diet regimen the nutritionist had developed was meant to keep her voice in shape.

_So then why doesn't Finn like me?_

Objectively she realized that Finn did in fact have feelings for her. He had kissed her that day, and then again at the bowling alley. He had admitted that he was confused about how he felt about her in that adorable, flustered way that she found endearing.

But in the end he went back to Quinn, who was now the mother of his child, and also the head cheerleader.

All Rachel had was a weekly slushie facial if she was lucky.

Grasping her brush tightly in her hand, she dragged it down her hair. The repetitive motion soothed her somewhat.

'Oh what does it matter? Whatever Finn and I have is irrelevant. He has a family to look after. Quinn and the baby need him and that's more important than this infatuation that you appear to have developed Rachel Berry,' she whispered viciously, slamming down the hairbrush. She had given Jacob a green thong because of him, and had to endure the sight of the potential love of her life with his perfect blonde girlfriend.

Flopping down onto her bed, Rachel threw a hand over her eyes. The radio hummed in the background.

_**Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.  
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.  
Be strong, be strong now.  
Too many, too many problems.  
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.  
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.  
It's where she lies, broken inside.  
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.  
Broken inside.**_

The shrill ring of the doorbell interrupted her slow descent into what anyone else would call wallowing. Sluggishly getting to her feet, she pushed the few strands of hair out of her face before bounding down the stairs.

'I'm coming!' She yelled as the person at the door leaned on the buzzer again. It must be Mrs Randle. Her neighbour made it a point to check up on her when Dad and Daddy were out of town. Throwing open the door, Rachel felt her eyes grow wide when she saw Puck with his hands in his pockets, shoulders hunched defensively. Remembering the movie where Drew Barrymore had been viciously taunted and egged, and having experience with it herself, Rachel immediately flicked her eyes over his shoulder. She couldn't see the rest of his friends but maybe they were hiding in the bushes somewhere-

'This isn't a set up Berry. Would you relax?' Puck told her somewhat affronted, boxing in his shoulders a little more.

'What do you want Puck?' She asked, wary.

'I heard about what you did,' Puck said, drawing out the words. Rachel gave him a confused look.

'I saw you with that Jacob kid at school.'

'Oh,' she replied, feeling her face heat up with embarrassment. Raising her chin, she continued. 'Did you come here to ridicule me?'

Puck let out a frustrated sigh. 'I don't get you Berry.'

'Many people have commented that I possess a multi-faceted personality. It won't be unusual for you to be unable to comprehend the complexity that that obviously entails.'

He blinked before speaking again. 'Right. Whatever. What's your angle Berry-'

'My name is _Rachel_. You've heard everyone call me that in Glee. I'm not one of your sweaty, testosterone-filled, Neanderthal friends from the football team.'

'Why'd you do it? You don't like Quinn so it must have been for Finn. It was, wasn't it?' Puck pressed.

'I don't know-'

'Don't give me that crap _Berry_,' he emphasized her name, as if to make a point. 'Finn may make those moon eyes at you, but he's got Quinn. He doesn't need you hanging around, throwing yourself at him.'

Rachel remembered the stained shirt upstairs in her bedroom, recalled the whispers and laughing she had to suffer through the rest of the door. She cringed thinking about Jacob waving that scrap of lace around in the corridors, telling her that he wanted something that was actually _hers_.

'Quinn doesn't deserve to have the whole school talking about her. I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of talk like that. She's already got her cross to bear. An opportunity presented itself for me to forestall any further humiliation she might have to endure because of her condition. I took it. Yes, Finn may have been a factor. But he's my friend too. Maybe being nice to someone is outside the set of social skills you seem to possess, but Quinn is going to need Glee during the next seven months,' Rachel reeled off, feeling herself getting more impassioned. Puck regarded her as if she had sprouted an extra head.

'You're doing all this for a guy you can't have, and for the girl who can?' Puck asked. Rachel swallowed against the effect his words had on her.

'Is there anything else?' She thanked the high heavens that her voice didn't waver.

_Go away so I can be alone. Go away so I can be myself._

'No,' Puck replied, shaking his head. He opened his mouth, about to say something, but then closed it. Swiveling his head left to right, he turned his back and walked off her porch without another word.

Rachel closed the door softly behind her, sliding down to the ground. Puck's engine roared to life as she wrapped her arms around her knees, pressing her cheek into the hollow between her legs. The empty house stood still, quiet except for her ragged breathing. The taste of salt lingered in her mouth as she burrowed her head into the crook of her elbow.

_I hate being alone._

**a/n: I haven't seen anything past 'vitamin D' yet because Australia is like two episodes behind. But I'll be caught up soon. So this is my attempt to be canon.**** The song is 'Nobody's Home' by Avril Lavigne.  
**

**I asked for reviews and you responded like champions. Maybe this time we can reach 60? Wishful thinking but I can only hope. **

**Hint: reviews speed up the writing process. They are literally my muse.**

**Oh and if you're interested, mark salling's album is available on itunes under the band Jericho and the album is called Smoke Signals. Money well spent. Trust me.**


	5. Chapter 5

Puck had been minding his own business when the slushie had caught him in the face. Feeling the ice drip down his face, he calmly wiped it away from his eyes.

'Loser,' Kralownsky laughed behind his back as he walked away. Balling his fists, Puck sucked in a breath before turning around and grabbing the baseball player by the throat.

'What the fuck is your problem? You have a death wish asshole?' Puck breathed, slamming the much larger boy into the row of lockers beside them. Aware of the crowd that was gathering around, Puck fisted Kralownsky's shirt tighter in his grip.

'You're part of the homo explosion now Puckerman. You and your boys from Glee are lower than the hockey boys now. The bottom of the food chain. Congratulations Puckerman, you've become the loser we always thought you would be,' Kralownsky taunted. Puck heard someone snicker.

'Yeah? At least I don't swing a giant phallic symbol trying to hit a ball,' Puck taunted before drawing back his fist and planting it square in Kralownsky's jaw. He watched in satisfaction as the brunette's head bounced against the metal doors.

'_Puck! What are you doing?_' A horrified voice demanded in the background. Suddenly a tiny hand curled around his bicep. He looked down and saw Rachel looking up at him with wide, horrified eyes.

'Stay out of this Berry,' he said, trying to shake her off. But Rachel didn't loosen her grip and Puck tried to ignore the way her fingers couldn't curl all the way around his arm.

'See what I mean?' Kralownsky wheezed. 'You've even got the Glee slut-'

The next thing Puck knew he had broken the other boy's nose and had been hauled away by the New Directions director, Rachel following meekly beside them.

'What happened?' Mr Schue asked, folding his hands. Puck didn't offer a response, flexing his hands. Kralownsky's jaw was harder than he had thought it would be. The slushie was still on him and Puck wished to hell that they would just suspend him and get it over with. Sure his Mum would be upset, but right now-

'He was defending my honour Mr Schue, Principal Figgins,' Rachel put in. Puck shot his eyes towards her in surprise. Rachel refused to return his stare, instead worrying her bottom lip as she addressed both men.

'Really?' Figgins questioned, raising a skeptical eyebrow. Puck made sure his face was expressionless as the Indian bored a hole through his skull.

'Of course,' Rachel replied, seeming to be highly affronted that he didn't believe her. 'That boy was about to throw a beverage at me and Puck stepped in like a true gentleman. When that boy tried to sully my name, obviously Puck was overcome with such emotion that he felt he had to defend my virtue. We're both Jewish you know.' She said it all so fast that Puck was amazed she could still breathe.

'Is this true Noah?' Figgins directed towards him.

Puck shrugged his shoulders. 'What she said.'

Figgins looked between them before raising his gaze towards Mr Schue, who spread his hands out to indicate that he had no objection to Rachel's words.

'Alright. Detention for the both of you today,' Figgins finally said after a long minute. 'I will not tolerate such disturbances again, am I clear? I don't want to see you in my office again Miss Berry,' the older man added meaningfully, making Rachel's cheeks colour.

'C'mon guys,' Mr Schue said, laying a hand on their shoulders to lead them out of the office. Once they were in the corridor outside, the teacher gave them both a shrewd look. 'I need you to stop giving Figgins a reason to shut us down, alright guys? Best behaviour.'

'Of course Mr Schue. It won't happen again,' Rachel immediately assured him, elbowing Puck who gave a grunt in response. Kralownsky got up to go into Figgins' office, shooting Puck and Rachel a nasty glare and nothing more once he spotted Schuester.

_He's going to get his ass kicked. Him and anyone else who throws anything at me._

'Do you need help getting that off?' Rachel's question made him blink. Realizing that Mr Schue had left, Puck fixed his mouth into a sneer.

'This doesn't mean we're friends. I don't know why you did that but whatever it was, I didn't ask you to do it,' Puck told her. Rachel raised her chin, her entire body snapping rigid as she regarded him with a simmering fire behind her eyes.

'You're a jerk,' she stated definitively.

'Tell me something I don't know,' Puck shot back.

'I'm just trying to be _nice_. Why do you have to be so…so…'

'Wow. I never thought I'd see the day you had to struggle for words. What? Did your word a day calendar run out?' He taunted, enjoying the way she was getting riled up. On the one hand it was kind of hot the way she didn't seem to be afraid of him anymore. On the other, it meant that she saw no harm in talking his ear off if she deemed it necessary.

Rachel whisper-shrieked and stomped on his foot.

_Holy shit._

'What the hell is your problem you crazy bit-'

'If you finish that sentence I will aim higher,' Rachel warned.

'You're lucky I don't hit girls,' Puck ground out, stifling the urge to shake his foot. No way in Hades was he going to let her know that that had hurt. God, was she packing lead in those shoes or something?

'I thought maybe…' Rachel trailed off before whipping her head from side to side furiously. 'Obviously I was wrong. You're still the Noah Puckerman who throws slushies at me.'

As if to mock him, the ice from the slushie was seeping into his clothes now. Sighing raggedly, Rachel rummaged around in her bag before withdrawing a packet of baby wipes.

'If you don't have time for a shower, these are the next best thing. I know,' she told him with a cynical smile before pivoting on her heel, her long brown hair missing his face by inches. Looking down at the wipes in his hand, and the small figure walking away, Puck couldn't help but yell out.

'This _still _doesn't mean we're friends Berry!'

The rest of the day left a sour taste in Puck's mouth. Finn, Matt and Mike had gotten the same treatment he had. Even Quinn had gotten doused. Scowling, the last thing Puck needed was to be locked in a confined space with a girl who made his head spin.

'C'mon Gleek, you know you want to,' Kralownsky's voice drifted from the detention room up ahead.

'I would appreciate it if-'

'The stuff Jacob writes on his blog-'

'Is fictitious!' Rachel's answer was deliberately hostile.

'What seems to be the problem ladies?' Puck drawled, taking in the sight before him. Kralownsky had Rachel pressed up against a desk, the girl in question trying very hard to angle herself away from the other boy's body.

'Ouch. That looks painful,' Puck commented lightly, gesturing towards the bruise on Kralownsky's face. The baseball player flashed Puck a murderous look, stepping towards him menacingly and giving Rachel enough space to wiggle her way out. Kralownsky snatched her wrist.

'Let her go asshole,' Puck said in a low voice. Sure Berry was crazy. That didn't give anyone the right to lay a hand on her.

'Or what? You're going to strangle me with your rainbow flag Puckerman?'

Puck cracked his knuckles in response. He didn't expect Rachel.

'Take that you heathen,' was all she said before Kralownsky let out a cry of pain, letting go of his wrist to grasp his shin. Wincing, Puck didn't have to imagine how much that hurt. His foot still throbbed from this morning.

'Oh good. You're all here,' Miss Pillsbury announced cheerfully as she walked in. She paused upon seeing Kralownsky.

'Are you alright James?' The guidance counselor affected a concerned tone.

'I'm fine,' Kralownsky gritted out, settling himself into a chair. Pillsbury looked unconvinced but gave them all a smile. Puck couldn't help but notice the way Rachel ignored the hostile looks Kralownsky kept sending her way, getting out her pink notebook and pen.

Puck on the other hand had no such qualms sending the baseball player a smirk every time he looked his way.

'You can spend the next two hours studying okay?' Pillsbury told them, settling herself behind the desk. Puck groaned, slumping down into his seat. His eyes flicked upwards as a folded up piece of paper landed on his desk. Seeing the fuschia lined paper, he settled his gaze on Rachel, who was studiously avoiding it.

Smoothing it open, he couldn't help but chuckle.

_**This doesn't mean we're friends.**_

**a/n: I saw Mash Up. While, obviously, I totally lapped up the Puckleberry and was utterly dismayed to see it end so abruptly, I don't think it was totally as realistic as I thought it could be. I could write a whole thesis (well, not that long) on why but that would just bore everyone.**

**Again, champs with the reviews. If we hit 90, another chapter comes faster. I'm so evil but you guys are so amazing I think it can be done.**

**Oh, and if you have suggestions or what you would like to see happen, I thrive off input like that so don't be shy!**


	6. Chapter 6

Rachel knew that the next day at school was going to be a nightmare. She just didn't know how much.

'Let go of me!' She shrieked, flailing her arms about as two of the boys from the baseball team grabbed her on her way to the dance room. Everyone knew that Rachel Berry made it a point to arrive early and go through her scales. She was nothing if not a creature of habit.

'I don't think you realize where you belong loser,' James Kralownsky breathed into her face. Rachel scrunched up her nose.

'I will press charges!' Rachel yelled as they lifted her up bodily, her shoes leaving the floor of the parking lot. '_Please_.'

'Dump her,' Kralownsky said, nodding his head towards the dumpster. The next thing she knew she had crashed into the garbage, her arms and legs entangling themselves into the overflowing heavy-duty black trash bags. Something slimy slid against her thigh as her eyes began to burn. She could hear them laughing as they walked away. Grasping the lip of the dumpster, she winced as the metal dug into her palm as she attempted to hoist herself up.

_High school sucks._

'Rachel?' Kurt's voice was a welcome relief.

'Could you please assist me?' She hated the way her voice sounded so defeated, so small. A warm pair of hands latched onto her wrists, the extra leverage allowing her the needed momentum to scramble herself over the vestibule.

'What happened?' Kurt asked, aghast. Rachel looked down at her jeans and blouse and was dismayed to realize that they were covered in food and various stains.

'Nothing,' Rachel answered, feeling tired. She hadn't thought to bring a change of clothes with her today.

'Oh really? So it is completely normal for you to crawl around in the dumpster before school?'

'I might have accidentally assaulted the captain of the baseball team yesterday,' Rachel admitted, biting her lip. Kurt gave her a look that was part disbelief, part pride. 'I don't have anything to wear,' she murmured the last part to herself but Kurt seemed to straighten upon hearing her.

'Well I suppose this could be considered a blessing a disguise. I have been absolutely _dying _to see what you would look like outside of plaid and tailored blouses. It's all very Wisteria Lane and so 2004.'

'I like the way I dress,' Rachel protested.

'Of course you do,' Kurt said in a way that was wholly patronizing. 'Come along. I'm sure I can put together something fabulous from the few costumes we have for Glee.' He motioned her to follow him, which Rachel did at a distance. Walking the quiet halls, Rachel was glad that teenagers didn't feel it necessary to occupy school grounds until the last possible minute.

'Why are you here so early?' Rachel finally enquired after studying Kurt's back.

'Oh you know. Dad's out of town and I didn't feel like staying in that big house all by myself,' Kurt replied, his tone deceptively airy.

'I know what you mean,' Rachel said, meeting Kurt's eyes.

'You do?'

'The house sounds like it has arthritis. All that creaking and groaning,' Rachel told him. Kurt blinked at her before allowing himself a small smile. What could only be described as understanding passed between the both of them and Rachel wondered for the first time whether she really knew her new friends as well as she should.

'Are you sure this is appropriate?' Rachel questioned, tugging on the sequined vest Kurt had thrown over her shoulders.

'Sequins are the new black. Or at least they should be,' Kurt told her, smoothing the polka dot blouse she had on over a pair of black, figure-hugging jeans.

'People are going to notice me. Where did these clothes come from anyway? I don't remember-'

'Bee, they already linger on those divine pins of yours. This ensemble whets the appetite because it doesn't reveal as much. You're like a present waiting to be unwrapped,' Kurt announced with a flourish, avoiding her last question just as the bell rang. Draping her arm through his, he led her out as if displaying a prized pony.

'Rachel?' The awe in Finn's voice made her want to preen a little bit but once she realized that Quinn was next to him, she reined in the impulse.

'Hello Finn. Hello Quinn,' she greeted them both as Kurt studied their reactions raptly.

'_Berry_?' Puck's exclamation of disbelief sounded behind her. 'You look…' He trailed off. Rachel glanced out of the corner of her eye and saw Kurt wing an eyebrow up and wondered what that meant.

'Hello Puck,' she forced herself to be civil, remembering how he had stood up for her yesterday. The football player was staring at her as if he had never seen her before.

'Did Mother Theresa lose her veil?' Quinn remarked with bite, though there was less venom than there should have been. After Rachel had spoken to her at her locker, the blonde had been less antagonistic towards the other girl, though there was an underlying sense of wariness at Rachel's new found olive branch.

'There were unforeseen circumstances that merited a wardrobe change,' Rachel informed them, Kurt remaining silent. Seeing Finn open his mouth, Rachel quickly spoke.

'I'm late for class. I'll see you-'

'At lunch,' Kurt stated firmly. Flashing him a grateful smile, she left them after squeezing Kurt's hand with a measure of affection. Spotting Kralownsky up ahead, Rachel pivoted on her heel - no sense poking a bear while it was still sore – and collided with Puck. Instinctively, she placed a hand on his chest to steady herself while his own came to rest on her hip.

'Still clumsy as ever.'

'I possess the grace befitting of a future Tony-winning actress,' Rachel shot back. Realizing where her hand was, she abruptly snatched it back. Clearing her throat, she looked pointedly at Puck. 'If you would mind releasing me, I would like to get to class.'

Puck looked confused for a second before dropping his grip on her. She tried to ignore the fleeting sensation of something electric that lingered afterwards.

'You have Math first period. That's the other way,' Puck say, raising a finger to point her in the opposite direction. Rachel twisted her head and saw Kralownsky lounging against the lockers, head turned towards the both of them.

'How do you know my schedule?' Rachel asked, trying to distract the left tackle.

Puck seemed to fumble for a reply. 'I had to know where to slushie you,' was his response. The wince he made afterwards was barely perceptible.

'I see,' Rachel tried to remain polite. The tardy bell rang. Biting her lip, she looked over her shoulder to see that Kralownsky was gone. Feeling some of the tension leave her shoulders, she clutched her books tighter to her chest.

'What's wrong with you?'

_Apparently a lot of things._

'I'm sure you've made a list,' she said, trying to appear unaffected. 'Excuse me Puck. I'll…well I guess I'll see you at Glee.'

As she walked away she was all too aware of Puck's eyes on her back.

**a/n: see i keep my promises. now if only we could get to 120 reviews...**


	7. Chapter 7

Puck kept an eye on Rachel throughout lunch. He hadn't _wanted _to sit with the rest of Glee, but he supposed that since Finn, Matt, Mike and him had been declared _persona non grata _from the football team (even though they were the main reason why the damn team were even worth watching in the first place) he couldn't really complain about the company.

'Girl, don't tell me you have not seen Jensen Ackles? Now that boy is pretty fly for a white guy,' Mercedes commented, flipping her hair to emphasize her point.

'I don't watch much television. Dad and Daddy says it distracts me from my goals,' Rachel admitted, the black and white chiffon polka dot top swaying as she moved.

'Well how about if I come over today and rectify this gross injustice?' Kurt asked. For some reason Rachel brightened at his words. Puck looked back and forth between them.

'Really?' She sounded eager before realizing that they had an audience. 'I mean, if you don't have anything else scheduled then I would appreciate the company.'

'What are the r-r-rest of us? Chopped l-l-liver?' Tina's question made Rachel blush.

'Oh of course the rest of you are welcome as well-'

'Sorry ladies. And gentlemen,' Kurt acknowledged, nodding towards Puck and Artie. 'But the delectable Miss Bee and I need to have a discussion without an audience present.'

'We do?' Rachel interrupted, looking fairly squeamish. Kurt gave her a significant look. It made the girl sigh heavily in response.

'It seems that we do,' she muttered, poking at her salad. Mercedes' phone beeped.

'Hey guys, why are people pointing?' Artie asked, looking around the cafeteria.

'Probably wondering how you ladies managed to get a stud like me to sit with you,' Puck shrugged his shoulders, allowing his eyes to flick around as well.

'Yeah, I'm sure that's it,' Artie replied, his tone laced with sarcasm. 'But they seem to be pointing at…' His words died in his throat when Mercedes let out a sound that resembled a growl. Tina was looking at her phone now as well, giving Rachel a shocked look. Puck watched Kurt lean over towards the Asian girl and pale somewhat.

'What?' Puck demanded, reaching over and procuring Mercedes Sidekick. The video on screen showed a girl being loaded into a dumpster. 'What the-' Puck squinted at the grainy footage, realizing that it had been taken outside in the parking lot. 'Who is that? Wait is that-'

Rachel was whipping her head around, her eyes looking suspiciously wet as she scrambled to her feet.

'I'll see you guys at-'

'Berry, is this _you_?' Puck felt something hot start to worm its way through his body, all his muscles clenching as he watched Kralownsky and his goons lift Rachel into the dumpster. Suddenly it all clicked into place, the pieces fitting together so neatly he didn't know how he hadn't seen it before.

'Why the hell didn't you say anything?' Puck tossed Mercedes back her phone, leaning forward across the table to stare at Rachel.

'It wasn't important,' Rachel retorted weakly, her lips quivering.

_Ah shit. _

'R-r-rachel, we're your friends and-'

'_No_,' Rachel's outburst silenced the murmurs and laughter that were echoing around the cafeteria. Puck saw her big, brown eyes flit around like a hummingbird. 'I just…I need to…' Then she bolted, leaving them to sit around in stunned silence for a minute before Puck climbed to his feet.

'Perhaps I should go after-'

'I ain't going to do anything Beyonce. So chill alright?' Puck bit out before following after Rachel, aware of the curious eyes around him. It was only then that he realized he didn't know where the petite girl would have gone. Then he snorted.

_Where else would someone with such a single-track mind seek refuge?_

As he made his way towards the choir room, he saw people peering at the phones, some of them quelling their amusement when they spotted Puck's dark look.

The anger he felt in response unsettled him. Shifting his shoulders, he tentatively pushed open the double doors. Sure enough, he saw Rachel's forlorn figure hunched over the piano, head in her hands as her shoulders shook. The loud bang as the door slammed shut behind him made Puck wince and he was struck dumb when she startled upright, her hair askew and her mascara running. Upon seeing him, she tried to compose herself, her breath coming out in hitching sobs.

'You okay?' Puck asked clumsily, digging his hands into his letterman jacket and clenching his fists.

_Look at her idiot. Does she look okay?_

She looked at him intently before turning away, her hair falling like a curtain to hide her face. 'Just go away Puck.'

'I bet if Finn was here you'd be lapping it up,' the words were bitter and came out unintended.

'Finn hasn't been the one giving me a slushie facial,' Rachel pointed out and Puck cringed internally at her words.

'He hasn't exactly been stopping it either, has he?' Puck remarked, his voice low as he edged closer to her.

'No, I suppose it hasn't,' Rachel replied, expelling a breath loaded with resignation.

'Do you need me to take you home or something?' The shocked expression on her face made his hackles rise up. 'What?'

'You don't have to pretend, you know? You've already made it quite clear that we aren't friends.'

'Jeez Berry I'm trying to be a Good Samaritan here and you're biting my head off. If you don't want it fine,' Puck shot back, angling his face away as his forehead puckered into a frown.

'I didn't – I mean –' Rachel stumbled before sniffing her nose. 'Thank you but I've already called someone. But, it was nice of you to offer.' Her tone lifted at the end, as if she were asking a question.

'Whatever,' Puck murmured. Her phone buzzed. Rachel smoothed her blouse as she got to her feet, her hands smoothing down her hair as she straightened her shoulders. She fisted her little hands before letting them hang loose at her side.

'Would you tell Kurt and the others that I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye?'

_Do I look like your fucking messenger boy?_

Taking one look at her face, he said otherwise. 'Yeah alright.'

'Thank you again. I know how much you don't like me but I appreciate your concern,' her smile didn't make him feel any less like an asshole. The vest she had on shimmered in the light, drawing attention to the graceful curve of her neck and arms.

Puck tried to ignore the way her ass looked in those jeans as she walked away.

Stepping outside to watch her walk down the corridor with her head held high like she was some kind of midget Princess Diana (and not because he was worried), Puck cracked his knuckles.

He hoped Kralownsky didn't like his face the way it was.

Because Puck was going to make it his mission to rearrange it.


	8. Chapter 8

Rachel rubbed the towel against her head, using more force than was necessary to get rid of moisture that still lingered in her hair. After Mrs Randle had dropped her home – and fussed over her for more than an hour, though never asking Rachel what it was that had gotten her so upset – the older woman had departed with a promise that Rachel stop by later in the day so that she could ensure the teenager was in good health.

The first thing she had done was take a shower. That was something about the way that the water seemed to wash away everything on her skin, as if it were cleansing her of what had happened. Feeling the force of the spray hit her shoulders; Rachel had been tempted to stay in the bathroom all day. But in the end the practical side of her had won out and now here she was in the kitchen, trying to pretend that what had happened had never actually happened.

Admittedly using such forceful measures against Kralownsky had been a decidedly unwise tactic. But there was something about the way he had leaned into her space, trying to press his body against hers and leering down at her…not to mention the fact that he had been the reason Puck and her had been hauled into the Principal's office as if they were a pair of delinquents. All in all, smashing her foot into his leg had been an appealing choice at the time.

Now the whole school knew what he had done to her this morning. As if they needed another reason to whisper about her whenever she walked past, the baseball team had given them more ammunition in what she thought was a vicious smear campaign against her.

_Oh stop feeling sorry for yourself Berry. Just…focus on Sectionals. Once you win Nationals, and some award-winning casting director sees you on stage, you can leave Ohio behind and find something better._

_Like a boyfriend?_

Great, now she was even arguing with herself. Glancing at the clock, she was surprised to see that it was well past the time when school had let out. Chewing her lip, she speculated whether Kurt would actually show up. While Rachel had never really saw the merit in forming such pointless personal bonds (and also because it wasn't as if there was anyone that had showed even a small interest in establishing said relationships), talking with Kurt and letting him boss her around had been nice. The kind of nice that made high school seem a little easier to bear and wrapped around her like a hug. It was all very sentimental and nostalgic.

She wondered whether they had laughed at her too after seeing the video. And then she wondered which of the boys had recorded it. Shaking her head, she reached for the fridge when the doorbell rang. Feeling somewhat buoyed, she tugged the oversized t-shirt she had on and thought she should change but then decided against it.

_Her friends could take her for who she was._

As expected, Kurt stood on her front porch. What she didn't expect to see was the rest of the Glee club ringed around him. Mercedes, Tina, Artie, Mike, Matt, Brittany and…

_Puck._

Suddenly feeling self-conscious, Rachel tried to look glad to see them.

_Oh god, did I clean the house? Do I have enough snacks ready to serve them? What kind of entertainment does this entail?_

'Hey Berry, you mind if we come in?' Puck asked sarcastically. Rachel coloured.

'Oh of course. I didn't know all of you would be coming,' she said faintly as they filed through the door.

'We wanted to make sure you were okay,' Artie told her. Rachel looked down at him, feeling something warm settle over her.

'I'm fine,' she assured them. 'I suppose I overreacted a bit-'

'Girl, I'm going to kick that guy's flat, white ass for what he did to you,' Mercedes announced, fisting a hand on her hip and sending her a fierce look.

'Oh really there's no need-'

'Hey Rachel, can I get a soda?' Mike asked, Brittany standing shyly beside him. Rachel realized this was the first time she had seen the tall, blonde cheerleader without either Quinn or Santana. For some reason, she seemed less intimidating.

'Of course,' Rachel smiled at the dancer. 'Why don't you guys make yourselves comfortable in the living room while I bring out some beverages?'

'Oh. My. God. Is that a _flat-screen_?' Matt's exclamation allowed Rachel to slip into the kitchen. Standing on her tip toes, she reached for the colourful mugs her fathers had gotten from Ikea.

'You need any help?' Puck's voice almost made her drop the ceramic cup in her hand. Whirling around, she almost pressed a hand to her chest. Puck's frame seemed to fill the archway and made the kitchen seem smaller.

'Oh. Um…'

'I'll help you with those. You're too short anyways,' Puck said, reaching over her to grab a few mugs. The front of his letterman jacket brushed against her and for a moment Rachel thought she couldn't breathe. And maybe it was her imagination but Puck appeared desperate to put more space between them. Pulling a few sodas and bottles of water out of the fridge, she was surprised to see Puck still standing there against the edge of the granite island. He was giving her a look, as if he was studying her for some kind of answer she couldn't give him.

'Why didn't you tell anyone about what Kralownsky did?' He repeated the words he had said earlier that day. Rachel squeezed the plastic bottle until it made a popping, cracking noise.

'Why would I?' Rachel told him. 'I don't tell anyone about how you and the other members of the various athletic teams throw slushies in my face. I fail to see how this is different.'

'I'm nothing like those guys.' It sounded as if he was trying to convince himself of something.

'No, no you're not,' Rachel admitted softly. Yes the boy in front of her had thrown corn syrup flavoured drinks in her face and egged her house and called her crazy more times than she could count, but he had never actually physically laid a hand on her. And Rachel knew, for reasons that she couldn't comprehend, that there was something more to Puck than just being a bully.

But she didn't voice these thoughts out loud.

He was still Puck and she was still Rachel. They weren't friends and they weren't exactly enemies. They were stuck in this grey area where either of them could go both ways, between the Dark Side and the way of the Jedi (she needed to stop Dad from watching Star Wars).

Without a word, he lifted the tray and walked out of the kitchen, Rachel following him with the cold drinks. She watched as the Glee club snatched up what they wanted, talking and laughing and commenting on her big-screen television as they drank their sodas and water.

_This is nice._

Brittany came over and sat next to her. The other girl gave Rachel a hesitant smile which she readily returned. Soon Brittany was tugging a lock of her hair, Mercedes and Tina chattering on about highlights. This of course promoted Kurt to intervene. Artie, Matt and Mike were watching some kind of martial arts fight, all three hollering at the screen as the two men struck and bloodied each other. Puck had sprawled himself into her favourite armchair, sedately sipping his Coke.

'Where's Finn?' Rachel wanted to know. For a moment it seemed like the room went silent, or maybe it was all in her head.

'Quinn had an ultrasound,' someone replied, she wasn't sure who.

What she was sure about was the slight ache in her chest and the dark look that was now evident on Puck's face.

_I bet no one would have dropped Quinn into a dumpster._

**a/n: I have decided to something for the 200****th**** reviewer. Your prize is a Puckleberry one-shot of your choosing – plot, setting, scene, whatever. Oh, and also a gold star.**


	9. Chapter 9

Yesterday had been surreal.

Puck had voluntarily (well, alright, he wasn't sure how exactly Hummel had coerced him but he wasn't going to dwell on that) spent his after school hours at Rachel Berry's house. And furthermore, he had seen Rachel act, well, _normal_.

Usually whenever he saw Rachel she was scary determined. He didn't know how exactly she managed to cram that much sheer, unadulterated ambition into her small frame but the results were abrasive. He was pretty sure if Rachel were a guy, Puck would have decked her a long time ago. But she was a girl and so that option was out. Which was where the slushies came in. It was all psychological warfare and he thought he had been winning.

What he hadn't expected was Rachel's counter tactics.

How else could he explain the sheer incomprehension of seeing Rachel act like a girl. Giggling, hiding her mouth behind her hand, talking about streaking her hair or something like that as if it was completely typical for her to do so. Furthermore it had seemed like everyone else didn't see nothing else out of ordinary. Weird.

Puck spotted the knee length fitted cable knit sweater and groaned. Kurt seemed to glide towards him, appearing surprised to see him there this early in the morning.

'I know why I'm here. But why are _you _here?' Kurt asked, imperiously raising an eyebrow. Puck snorted.

'Beyonce, this isn't going to be a catfight. If you're expecting nails and ripping someone's weave out, this isn't going to be it,' Puck told him, cracking his knuckles for good measure.

He needed a release. Hearing that Quinn had gone for a sonogram with his best friend, to not know whether his baby was actually alright, to not be able to feel it kick her stomach or be there if Quinn needed chocolate and cheese…it was messing with his head and Puck was sure that if he hit something, he'd feel marginally better. It just so happened that Kralownsky had given him an opportunity to feel entirely justified in doing so.

'I brought mace,' Kurt put in, wrinkling his nose at the dumpster. 'Besides, I'm sure that ogre will have his little cronies attached to the hip. I've seen all the movies.'

Puck narrowed his eyes. 'Are you questioning my badassness?' Kurt made a noncommittal sound in the back of his throat and didn't say a word. The silence didn't last long.

'You seem awfully interested in being Rachel's knight in shining armour,' Kurt commented out of the corner of his mouth.

'My armour's rusty Hummel,' Puck stated it as if it were a fact. 'But even Berry doesn't deserve shit like that.'

'Yes, but apparently I do.' His remark made Puck shift guiltily. Being in Glee was fucking with his conscience. Taking in Kurt's clothes and the disdainful air that had put him in Puck's crosshairs in the first place, the football player was surprised to realize he was exactly where Hummel was on the social ladder. Okay maybe he wasn't sub-basement level yet because he was, after all, the best left tackle _ever _but Puck was sure that sooner or later being on the football team wasn't going to be enough.

'Yeah, well, it got lame,' Puck shot back weakly. It was the closest thing to an apology Kurt was ever going to get from him and it seemed the other boy knew it too because he nodded his head.

'Looks like you're taking the title homo explosion literally.' Kralownsky called out from across the parking lot, sneering as he looked between Puck and Kurt.

'Where were you yesterday Kralownsky?' Puck said, ignoring the other boy's taunt. 'I was looking for your sorry ass all day.'

'Yeah? Why's that?' Kralownsky asked casually, as if he didn't know the answer. The side of his jaw was now stippled with green and a tinge of yellow. A few of the other baseball players lingered back. Puck saw Kurt reach into his bag out of the corner of his eye.

'Why do you think dumbass? Not only did you slushie me you piece of shit, but you threw a fucking girl into a dumpster.'

'Since when is Rachel Berry a girl?' Kralownsky smiled as if he had made a joke. 'Well yeah, aside from those hot legs. And I gotta admit that whole nun thing she has going on makes me want to-'

'Shut the fuck up,' Puck growled. 'Don't talk about her like that. Far as I'm concerned, Berry's got more balls than you do. Noticed you're still limping. Shame she didn't aim higher. Would have been nice knowing you wouldn't be able to reproduce.'

'What are you? Her fucking boyfriend?' Kralownsky pressed further into his face. Puck flexed his hands in anticipation. _Just come a littler closer, say one thing that'll give me a reason._

'Ah fuck it,' Puck muttered to himself before launching himself at Kralownsky. He felt his knuckles graze the jawbone and heard the boy let out an expletive. Something buried itself in his gut and Puck rolled out of the way, driving his elbow deep into Kralownsky's throat that left him gasping for air. He felt something bite into the area above his right eyebrow and felt the sting of skin splitting.

'Go ahead Puckerman. I'm still going to make that Gleek bitch pay for what she did,' Kralownsky breathed into his ear. Puck didn't bother saying anything. Instead, he delivered an uppercut that would have made Batman proud.

'You go near Rachel and I'll cut your dick off myself.'

'What?' Kralownsky wheezed, clutching his side. Puck noticed him wince in pain. 'You think I'm _scared _of you?' An amused chuckle. 'You don't scare shit Puck.'

In his mind, he saw Rachel falling into the dumpster. He saw her in that big t-shirt and with no make-up on, cheeks pink and hair falling down her shoulder, curling slightly at the edges. Saw the way she looked at him when she had said he wasn't one of those guys.

'Look at you. You're a Gleek. You hang out with fucking cripples and freaks. What the hell happened to you Puckerman?'

The words bit at Puck's skin, as if someone had taken a fork and pricked it just to see what would happen. Puck looked at Kurt, standing there looking at him and waiting to face down against people he knew would kick his ass. Then he looked at Kralownsky, who didn't see anything wrong with making a viral video of his stupidity and letting the rest of the world know it.

_You throw slushies at me and call me names when you don't know anything about me. How is that any different?_

_I thought maybe…_

_I know how much you don't like me but I appreciate your concern_

_I'm nothing like those guys. No, no you're not._

Was this really what he wanted to be? Puck realized that he was exactly like Kralownsky. He had pushed Artie into a portable toilet, thrown Kurt into a dumpster, given Rachel a slushie facial almost weekly. And yet these people hadn't exactly been hostile to him. Sure there had been the initial suspicion and guarded looks but after a while, Puck had come to grasp how much time he actually spent with these people. They didn't see him as some kind of meat-headed jock (okay, he was sure they still did and he wasn't in a hurry to get rid of that rep anytime soon) but instead…he wasn't sure what they saw but Kurt was looking at him as if…as if…

As if Puck was one of them.

He wasn't sure what that meant. It scared the crap out of him and made him want to beat his head with an acoustic guitar. But right now, Puck knew that he'd rather be a Gleek than a Kralownsky.

'You know what asshole? Life happened,' Puck replied before decking him. The larger boy folded to the ground like a limp noodle, something that gave Puck much satisfaction as he shook out his hand.

A few of Kralownsky's friends started towards Puck and he grinned in expectation. Seeing some of them erupt into cries of agony was completely out of left field.

'I have liquid fire and I'm not afraid to use it,' Kurt announced, waving his can of mace like a bludgeon. Kralownsky's friends stepped back, eyeing their friend's unconscious form with a small amount of confusion.

Puck grinned.

Picking up Kralownsky's body, Puck started dragging him towards the dumpster.

'Hey Hummel, you got-'

'A step ahead of you my friend,' Kurt replied, the last two words almost making Puck pause. Shrugging it off, he listened as Guy Lasall attempted to protest.

'Step closer and I have no qualms about making you blind,' Kurt shouted.

Heaving Kralownsky over and into the dumpster made his ribs burn but the sound of dead weight landing against yesterday's sloppy joe more than made up for it.

'You got that?'

'As if I were Martin Scorsese,' was all Kurt said in reply.

'Let's bounce Beyonce.' Puck gave the small knot of baseball players a one-fingered salute, smirking as Kurt gave the pepper spray a vicious squirt before pivoting on his heel and flouncing beside him like some catwalk diva.

'So, you're a Gleek?'

'Let me set one thing straight Hummel – I'm the best-looking guy you got,' Puck pressed the throbbing above his eye, frowning when he saw copper against the pad of his finger. 'This face is what makes me a living. This face is what is going to win us Sectionals.'

'I thought I provided the aesthetic for the group.'

'Have you seen my guns?'

'I'm sure your arms are lovely.' Puck wasn't sure how to take that comment so he brushed it off. 'But nonetheless, I'm glad you haven't thrown me into a dumpster recently.'

'Yeah, well, I'm nothing like those guys.'

'No, Puck, you most certainly are not.'

Hearing Kurt repeat the words Rachel had said yesterday made him scratch the back of his neck, as if he needed to do something so he didn't have to understand the implications those words entailed.

_I'm nothing like those guys. But if I am, at least I do it for the right reasons._

**a/n: seriously guys, thank you for taking the time to review. it means alot. if only my bones fics received this much TLC lol! **

**The winner of the Puckleberry one-shot is Ladybug Jess! Round of applause!**

**Ah if only we could reach 230 reviews to commemorate the fact that Arsenal totally trounced Sp*rs during the North London derby. Yes, we made Robbie Keane eat his words.  
**


	10. Chapter 10

Wearing the yellow Vitamin D dress had been supremely unintentional. After all, it detracted from the image Rachel wished to portray to the rest of the McKinley High student body. The pleated, stiff skirts and tailored blouses had become a sort of shield, a way to show how very serious she was about her high school education, so that it would deflect some of the hurt she felt when her fellow classmates preferred to see her as some kind of walking joke.

She had stopped wearing nice clothes after her first slushie.

But for some reason, the bright yellow material had called to her. She had reached into her closet as if entranced and slipped it on before she could change her mind. Standing in front of the mirror, admiring the way the colour played off her skin, Rachel decided if she had to go into battle, the closest shade to gold she could get would be more than enough to constitute body armour.

So when Rachel walked down the corridors that morning, she thought people were looking at her because she was different. Well of course she had always been different, but this time, she was making some kind of visual representation of her unique character. It was only when the stares had lingered far too long, and the insistent press of curious eyes had begun to make her uncomfortable, did she begin to seek out someone she knew.

'_She's _why he did it? Are you serious?'

'I know right? I mean, just _look _at her.'

Snatches of conversation made her furrow her brow. It was only then that she began to realize that people were looking at their phones again.

_Still?_

'I need to talk to you Man Hands,' Santana called out from the side. Quinn stood by her side, chewing her lip before disappearing behind her locker door. Rachel didn't want to go stand before the Latina, taking in the incensed expression on her face.

_That's odd. Usually my humiliation brings them some measure of satisfaction._

'Hello Santana. Hello Quinn,' Rachel managed to say, squeezing her books to her chest so tightly it was beginning to hurt.

'I don't know what kind of game you're playing, but let's make one thing clear. Puck is off-limits.'

'Okay…' Rachel trailed off, still not sure why they were having this conversation.

'I mean it freakazoid. Just because we're in some lame show choir thing, doesn't mean you have dibs on any of the boys in there. You've already failed miserably with Finn, considering how desperately you threw yourself at him,' Santana sneered, leaning in close to Rachel's face as she tried to swallow the hurt her words engendered. The cheerleader flicked her ponytail as she turned around, whipping it across Rachel's nose and cheek. Quinn remained silent.

'I can assure you Santana that Puck doesn't feel anything more than intense dislike towards me,' Rachel whispered before walking away, not sure she could handle anything else the other girl would have said.

She wasn't desperate in her affections towards Finn. She'd just been so…overcome to discover that there was a possibility that a boy – this sweet, flustered, caring boy – could feel something for her. But in the end he had gone back to Quinn, kissing her and using her feelings towards him to his advantage. And she couldn't find it within herself to hate him for it. No, she was such a masochist. Rachel went back to Glee, hoping that maybe someday she wouldn't be on her own and that Finn would eventually realize that the obvious denial that he was projecting was a futile effort. He would look down at her and tell her that he liked her, and that they could be together.

_What a pipe dream._

To make matters worse, Santana had obviously been dropped too many times during Cheerios to even entertain the thought of Puck developing feelings for her. It was preposterous. Alright, Rachel mused thinking back to the last few days, he had been acting rather unlike himself recently but that was merely a guilty conscience seeking some kind of absolution wasn't it? Yes, that was it.

Really, Puck liking her?

It made her want to snort in a completely unladylike manner.

'Oh sweetie, you're wearing _colour_!' Kurt's excited exclamation dragged her from her thoughts and brought her face to face with a pair of startling green eyes.

_What were Puck and Kurt doing together?_

Rachel looked down at her dress self-consciously, noticing the way that both boys were dragging their eyes from her toes to her head. Except Puck's felt like he was undressing her. Clearing her throat rather awkwardly, she kept her gaze on Kurt when she spoke.

'Is there a reason people are still whispering about me?' A pause. 'Well, more than usual.'

The feral grin that spread across Kurt's face was rather disturbing, considering the arrogant smirk that had worked it's way across Puck's simultaneously. Cutting back and forth between the two, she accepted the phone pressed into her hands and watched agape as Kralownsky was unceremoniously deposited into a dumpster.

_Now I can see why Santana would construe this the wrong way. _

Rachel looked at Puck, speechless.

'A thank you would be nice,' Puck commented off-hand, digging his shoulder into the spot next to Kurt's locker.

'But…_why_?' Rachel blurted out. _This is going to make everything ten times worse. Not only will that idiot be stalking my every move, but this just furthers Santana's misconceptions-_

'I thought you said I wasn't one of those guys,' Puck told her. 'It's no big deal.'

Something about the way he said the words, the thready note of conflict and baseline of wanting reassurance, made her reach out and touch his arm. The muscles underneath flexed and Rachel dropped her hand, unsure if the contact had been welcome or not.

'Let me state for the record that I was there,' Kurt interjected. 'And if it wasn't already completely obvious, I was the brains behind the entire operation.' The derisive snort Puck offered up in response didn't appear to offend the teenager.

'Thank you for standing up for me,' Rachel said, feeling like a buoy bobbing in the ocean, adrift yet anchored to something that had once seemed so elusive that she had given up on it altogether.

_No one's ever done that for me before._

'It's no big deal,' Puck muttered under his breath, angling his face away.

'Remember, say thank you with gifts,' Kurt reminded.

'Why didn't anyone tell me we were going to lay the smackdown on this cracker?' Mercedes appeared from behind, hands fisted and gesturing towards all three of them.

'Yeah dude. We'd totally have wanted in on the action,' Mike commented.

'No one messes with our girl, right Mike?' Matt said, slinging an arm around Rachel's shoulder and pressing her to his side. Rachel grinned up at him.

'I would have rolled over him with my wheelchair,' Artie contributed.

The bell rang. Puck reached over and casually pushed Matt's arm off her, giving them all a slight, muted smile.

'Let's get to class,' was all he said before taking her arm.

'I'll see you guys later!' Rachel called over her shoulders, watching as they all wore similar looks of bemusement and confusion of their faces.

'Done with your fan club?'

Irritation shot through her. 'Excuse me?'

'It wasn't as if _I _did anything,' was the mumbled response. Rachel stared at him in open bewilderment, taking in the hard set of his jaw and clenched muscles. Why was he so upset?

'No one's ever stood up for me before,' Rachel finally offered, noting the wide berth everyone was giving them as they made their way to class. Realizing that she was almost at Spanish, she caught his arm but didn't let go like before. Puck seemed to still almost instantaneously at the contact though he didn't shrug her off.

'It means a lot to me,' Rachel said, hoping that he knew how sincere she was. That ridge above his brow puckered and he looked at her for a beat or longer before reaching over and squeezing her hand. He gave her another look and then ducked into the classroom next door.

Glancing down at her hand, remembering the moment when his tanned, calloused hand had enveloped it, she knew for a fact that Santana was wrong.

_Then why is your hand still tingling?_

**a/n: just forewarning – updates might be less frequent because I've got my exams coming up. One more year after this before I get that law degree so crunch time. Personal advice to anyone considering taking up law - DON'T. why people would subject themselves to this for a living is beyond me. bleah.  
**

**Shameless plug – go check out my one-shot for Ladybug Jess called 'If My Heart Was A House'.**

**And also, did I come up with Puckleberry or did someone else before me?**

**ooooh! 260 reviews? You guys don't actually have to reach the threshold. It's just nice knowing that people are reading this and with my rather short attention span, trust me, it contributes towards motivation.  
**


	11. Chapter 11

Damn, she had to wear the dress.

There was nothing wrong with the dress at all really, Puck thought. It was the fact that it was just so damn…bright. And it made Rachel's skin look like she'd been sunbathing – a nice, dewy tan that made all her features that much more obvious. And those legs. Fucking hell. How a midget like that even got legs that long was beyond him.

_No one's ever stood up for me before. It means a lot to me._

Then she had touched him. Puck glanced down at his arm, imagining the feel of her small hand against his bicep while Ms Barnett scratched what looked like a quadratic equation on the board.

All around him people murmured in an undertone about how Noah Puckerman had put James Kralownsky into a dumpster because of Rachel Berry. Smirking Puck leaned back in his seat and winked at a pretty blonde in the front row, who immediately turned red and averted her eyes. Let them think whatever they wanted. Fact of the matter was Kralownsky's scrawny ass had gotten what it deserved. Case closed.

'Hello Noah,' Santana cornered him between third lunch, dragging a finger down his chest. Stepping away, he cocked an eyebrow.

'It's _Puck_. What do you want? My credit line still not good enough?' _Bitch_, he added in his head.

Santana pouted her lips, looking up at him from beneath her lashes.

'No. Just thought I'd let you know I thought what you did this morning was kind of…hot,' she said in what she thought was a seductive tone. Puck rolled his eyes. What had he seen in this girl again?

'So what did Berry have to do to get you to be her knight in shining armour?'

_That's the second time someone's called me that this morning_, Puck thought wryly. 'She didn't do anything.'

Santana laughed but that petered out when she caught sight of the bored expression on his face.

'You can't be serious? You actually stood up for that Gleek _willingly_?'

'I'd explain it to you but it involves feelings and shit. I doubt it'd make sense,' Puck commented lightly, enjoying the incensed expression that came over the Latina's face.

'I hope you know what you're doing Puck. Don't throw it all away because Berry got what she deserved.'

'I'm getting pretty sick of people saying anyone deserves that kind of shit being done to them,' Puck shot back.

'Oh please. Get off your high horse,' Santana scoffed, giving him a hard look. 'You put Artie in a portable toilet and wanted to flip it over. You put Kurt in a dumpster. You threw slushies at Berry. Face it Puck, before you start taking the moral high ground why don't you take a look in the mirror?'

'Hey man, you alright?' Finn asked later at lunch, Quinn by his side. The blonde, Puck noted with a small measure of relief, looked tired but healthy. Though the peanut butter and seaweed sandwich she was having kind of made his stomach turn.

'Yeah I'm cool,' Puck replied as Matt and Mike joined them. Brittany gave him a smile as she perched herself next to Mike, Santana nowhere in sight.

'Dude, no one's shut up about what you did this morning.' Puck lifted a shoulder in response to Matt's words.

'Hey guys! Over here!' Brit waved her hand in the air when she spotted the original Glee members.

'What are you doing?' Quinn demanded.

Brit cut her hand through the air, waving it back and forth. 'Just because they don't cheer, doesn't mean they can't sit with us.' Well well, looks like Brit had found a way out from under Quinn's thumb.

'C'mon Quinn,' Finn said in a pleading tone, which made Quinn sigh and take a bite out of her sandwich.

_How the hell does she eat that?_

'Sup?' Artie greeted them as he wheeled up to their table.

'Come eat with us,' Britt responded rather perkily. The wary expression on Artie's face made Puck want to frown.

'Are you sure?' The guitarist asked, his hands on the wheels of his chair as if he expected them to chase him away at any moment.

'Dude, don't be such a girl. Just call the rest of 'em over,' Puck bit out. Artie gave him a startled look before adopting a cautious smile and signaling towards the rest of the members of New Directions. The other students were openly gaping as if they had broken some kind of sacred rule.

'Where's Rachel?' Finn asked before Puck could, noticing that the girl wasn't with them.

'Miss Thang should be here shortly. Kurt needed to talk to her,' Mercedes informed them, tapping away on her sidekick. Puck flashed his eyes towards the entrance to the cafeteria, immediately spotting Rachel and Kurt with their heads bent together. Rachel's smile seemed strained while Kurt was rolling his eyes.

'What do you think they're talking about?' Finn inquired innocently.

'T-t-they have a d-d-diva code of silence,' Tina chimed in, opening a Tupperware of cookies and offering it to the rest of them. Puck took one and felt his eyes roll to the back of his head. They were soft, moist and chewy. If it was a girl they'd totally be doing it right now.

'Breaking it is punishable by death,' Artie told them helpfully with a straight face. Puck wasn't sure whether he was kidding or not.

'Greetings my adoring public,' Kurt said, sweeping his eyes over the table and winging up an eyebrow. 'I see we've decided to mingle.'

Puck spotted the kid with the afro talking to Rachel a few metres away. A few minutes later Rachel stormed over to them, pasting on an extremely plastic smile as she slid into the seat next to his. She didn't appear to notice him, the knuckles around her pink notebook white and tensed.

'Is something wrong Rach?' Matt asked, the concern in his tone making Puck shoot him a look.

'Oh I'm fine Matt. I apologize for my rather unfriendly demeanour,' Rachel responded, minutely shaking her head and easing her grip somewhat. It was then she seemed to notice the people around her.

'Oh, hello,' she managed to say before finally regaining some sense of composure. The rest of the table lapsed into conversation, Puck absently putting in his two cents worth as Matt and Mike discussed the new Batman game.

'Girl that boy bothering you again?' Mercedes leaned over and whispered in what she must have thought was a soft voice.

'He was just being…himself. Nothing that I can't handle,' Rachel brushed her off flippantly, inching away from him.

_What the hell?_

'You got a problem sharing your personal space with me Berry?' Puck murmured the words into her ear; Rachel starting at his words and narrowly slammed her head into his.

'Of course not,' Rachel squeaked out.

Puck looked down pointedly at the amount of space between them.

'I wasn't aware of my actions. Besides, I'm sure you think my ambition-' Puck snorted, drawing a glare from Rachel. 'What?'

'Ambition is what normal people call it. You take things to a whole other level Berry. It borders on obsessively insane.'

'I'm sorry that my goals are such an affront to you. At least I'm working towards what I want, which I don't believe can be said for a vast majority of the student body present.'

'I have goals,' Puck bit back defensively. _I want to raise my daughter right. I want to get out of this town and do something with my life. I want to make sure my Mum doesn't have to work so hard to put food on the table. I want to go to college. I want to make sure my sister goes to college._

Rachel blinked at him. 'Well, of course you do. It's obvious that the pool business you have is merely a stepping-stone. Though I think you should consider starting a portfolio. Investing is a great way to…'

The rest of her words blurred into the background.

_Well of course you do_ she had said, like she didn't think it was possible for him not to have any. He had thought everyone entertained the notion he was some two-bit loser without a game plan.

'Puck?'

'Yeah?'

'Are you listening to me?' Rachel questioned, appearing annoyed.

'I would if you were speaking English,' he fell back into the routine that always happened between them. This reliably sparked another verbal barrage from Rachel.

Puck leaned back in his chair and watched her, wondering what goals she thought he had. And why she even considered he had any.


	12. Chapter 12

Rachel had been on edge all day. While she was grateful for what Puck and Kurt had done, it didn't help matters when the entire population of McKinley High laid the impetus for their actions squarely at her door. They were both protected in a rather flimsy way, being members of the football team. All she had was Glee. It was a point she had expressed to Kurt at lunch, to which he had rather prematurely dismissed her concerns as paranoia.

So she had walked the halls all day, muscles tense and her flight instinct set on standby. It wasn't that she was a coward. Far from it. Rachel merely regarded it as an exercise in rationality. She couldn't win every battle so she had to pick them carefully. Her strategy with Kralownsky involved a hefty dose of avoidance and a constant state of alertness.

As if that wasn't enough, Jacob had taken it upon himself to shadow her every move until she agreed to be his date to the Spring formal. She would rather sacrifice an Emmy than be put through such an ordeal. The very thought made her skin crawl.

_Figures the only guy that would find me even moderately attractive would be a perverted, Jewish boy in need of a restraining order._

The soles of her shoes whispered against the floor as she rounded the corner before the choir room. Mr Schue had mentioned that he would be late, citing personal reasons. If Rachel had to guess, it involved Miss Pillsbury's rumoured engagement to Coach Tanaka.

'Where's your guard dog Berry?'

_Oh snap. Constant vigilance Rachel! What is wrong with you?_

'James,' Rachel said his name slowly, making her steps smaller before stopping. Kralownsky stood before her, a scowl on his face. In fact, Rachel would call the expression on his face bordering on livid.

'Do you know how many people have asked me whether dumpster diving is an Olympic sport?'

'Well, I must admit that statistical analysis isn't my area of-'

'Shut up.' Rachel felt her mouth close involuntarily. James smirked and took a step closer. Rachel took one back.

'Does this empower you? Picking on someone smaller in stature and with an obvious physical disadvantage? Studies suggest that bullies often compensate for-'

'Didn't I tell you to shut your yap?' James growled.

_Oh god. Someone just please Apparate!_

'James? Did you need something?' There was a note of warning weaved into the words.

_I have never loved a teacher so much in my life._

'Mr Schue,' Rachel fairly breathed in relief. James schooled his features into a neutral expression.

'I was just talking to Rachel,' James remarked.

'Yes. Well James. It was pleasant speaking with you but I have rehearsal,' Rachel managed to choke out before quickly ducking behind Mr Schue to enter the choir room. Taking in the empty room, she took a moment to suck in a breath.

_I think my knees are shaking._

Collapsing into one of the chairs towards the back, Rachel hugged her knees as the double doors opened.

'Are you sure everything's alright Rachel?' Rachel lifted her eyes to see Mr Schue crouched down beside her.

'Of course Mr Schue. I'm just going through some breathing exercises before I warm up.'

'You know you can come to me for anything.'

'I know,' Rachel said, the affection she felt for the teacher colouring her tone. Patting her on the arm, the director seemed to accept her answer. The shuffling of paper and scraping of chairs following her words. By the time the rest of New Directions had filtered in, Rachel was feeling much more composed.

Puck threw himself into the chair next to hers, giving her a curt nod as he folded his arms across his chest.

'How was practice?' Rachel attempted to be friendly, giving him a half-smile.

'I hit people,' was all he offered in response.

'And that's good?'

Puck let out a chuckle that sounded genuinely amused. 'Yeah, it is.' The smile across Rachel's face became a bit more full and Puck noticed that her lips looked shiny. He wondered what her lip gloss tasted like. Neither of them noticed Finn frown at the two of them.

'Alright guys,' Mr Schue clapped his hands together. 'So I thought since the last mash ups got you guys all powered up, Vitamin D aside, it'd be a good idea to do a repeat of that. So I'll break you into groups and we'll have the showdown next week. Alright Rachel, Puck, Tina, Artie, Mike and Brittany on one side and everyone else on the other!'

Puck saw Rachel give Finn a lingering glance before walking over to the spot Mr Schue had indicated. Mike clapped him on the back as they made their way over to the rest of their group.

'I have a few ideas available of course,' Rachel started. She pushed a strand of brown hair behind her ear, and Puck's eyes narrowed when he caught her hand trembling slightly. 'But since this is a team exercise, do any of you have any suggestions to contribute?'

'Rachel, are you okay?' Brit asked, a worried look on her face. A fleeting look of panic passed over Rachel's face so quick that Puck thought he had imagined it.

'Oh of course. Why wouldn't I be?'

'No reason,' Brit replied somewhat slowly.

'Does anyone have any suggestions? I would of course be more than willing to take charge of the vocal section. Though I was hoping that Mike and Brittany would be available to cheoreograph our routine, considering their above average dance skills.' It was a very Rachel Berry compliment and the grateful smile sent her way made Puck appreciate Rachel's newfound discovery of team spirit. Mike was a decent guy after all, and while possessing rhythm himself, Puck was more than in awe of the Asian boy's popping and locking skills.

'I t-t-trust your judgment R-r-rach,' Tina said, Artie nodding along with her.

'They must know we're going to beat them, the way Wolverine could totally kick anyone's ass.'

'Too true dude,' Puck replied, bumping fists with Artie.

'Really?' Rachel said, looking surprised at their acquiescence. 'Alright. I'll run through some songs tonight and I propose we convene a group meeting tomorrow to discuss our next step. Is after school adequate?'

They all murmured their agreement as Mr Schue called an end to their rehearsal rather abruptly.

'Must be Miss Pillsbury,' Mike said as they grabbed their bags. 'Teachers mackin' on each other is just weird man. Plus its making Tanaka pre-menstrual.'

'Kurt!' Rachel's loud voice drew everyone's eyes towards her for a moment. Puck watched as Hummel sauntered over to Rachel before stopping short.

'Spill _cherie_.'

'Would it possible for you to give me a lift home? Daddy usually does but since Mr Schue decided to end rehearsal early, I don't particularly desire to wait around _by myself_.' Rachel's emphasis on the last two words made Kurt pucker his brow and made Puck frown. The other members of Glee had already filed out, Quinn tucked under Finn's arm as the quarterback gave Rachel one last look before disappearing out the doors.

'I can give you a ride Berry.' The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them.

'Really?' Puck didn't like the way Kurt said that, as if he was implying something more to the offer than what it actually was.

'Really?' Rachel's tone was, on the other hand, something short of disbelief.

'You're on the way Berry. You coming or not?'

Rachel and Kurt glanced at each other, their eyes meeting in a silent conversation.

'I'll call you tonight _cherie_,' Kurt finally pronounced, leaning over and kissing her on the cheek. Rachel gave Kurt a smile – a small, private one that Puck had only seen once or twice.

'Thank you. For offering,' Rachel told him, pulling her trolley bag along.

'Don't mention it.'

'Oh. Right. Of course,' the whispered words sounded hurt. Puck cleared his throat.

'I meant you don't have to keep thanking me. Once is enough.'

'Oh. I just feel that every good deed should be acknowledged,' Rachel explained as Puck unlocked the passenger door to his truck. The thin coat of dust that streaked the exterior made him slightly self-conscious. Good thing he had cleaned the cab the day before.

_Jeez. It's just Rachel Berry, not the Sultan. Why are you stressin'?_

Rolling his eyes, he picked up her bag after watching her struggle to lift it up, raising an eyebrow when he felt how heavy it was. 'What are you? Carting around a fake Grammy to school?'

'I keep a spare change of clothes in case…of emergencies,' she replied, climbing in.

_Ah fuck._

The slushie attacks were left unsaid but Puck heard it as loud as a bullhorn.

Turning the key in the ignition, he raised his hand in acknowledgment as Kurt beeped at them as he drove by. Casting a glance at Rachel as he backed out of the lot, he didn't know what to say though Santana's words echoed in his head.

_Face it Puck, before you start taking the moral high ground why don't you take a look in the mirror?_

He switched on the radio abruptly, trying to drown the voice in his head. Things were seriously fucked if Santana was making sense.

**a/n: I finished doing my crim notes and I was like – what would Puck do? Random and completely unrelated but voila!**

**So on to some points:**

**Mash up ideas! I have a vague idea of what Rachel's group should do but so need suggestions for the other! **

**pinkbananasmoothie – since you reviewed, I will forgive your transgression for being a Spurs fan. Though I think we can both completely laugh our bums off at Liverpool. After all that hooey about Arsenal last season, I'm glad the Kop stepped up to the plate and took the flak for us**

**Review target – erm…310?**

**Thank you to everyone who bothers to read this. You guys are so the win.**

**Oh, and to all those expecting Puckleberry to happen asap. I'm sorry. It will happen but let's face it; this is the guy whose made her life a living hell for years. Sure she thinks he's hot (who wouldn't?) but they're going to have to be friends first before anything can happen. Not to mention Quinn, Finn and the baby. So be prepared for a long slog. And also because I don't plan my chapters, I just write them ******


	13. Chapter 13

The atmosphere in the truck was understandably awkward. Rachel usually didn't have a problem finding something to say but Puck made everything extremely complicated. She had discovered that with teenage boys they usually meant what they said. But in Puck's case, his actions often contradicted his words which involved twice the normal amount of contemplation that should really be involved in dissecting his actions.

'Thank you for driving me. You didn't have to,' Rachel finally said, if only to fill the silence. The radio was turned down low, the sounds of Death Cab for Cutie coming on. Rachel wrinkled her nose, recalling the new Twilight soundtrack. While she appreciated the depth and emotion involved in composing the music to fit the tone of the movie, she didn't understand why every single song was so…depressing.

'You said that already.'

'Well, I'm saying it again.'

Puck didn't reply, fixing his eyes on the road. Biting her lip, a nervous habit that she had developed quite recently, she tried to study Puck discretely out of the corner of her eye.

The Jewish community in Lima was small and close knit, which inevitably resulted in the two of them brushing shoulders. They never spoke directly, both choosing to give the other a wide berth. That didn't mean Rachel had never noticed him. In fact, she had watched in undisguised amazement as every teenage girl (and the occasional mother) had fluttered their eyelashes at Puck and received a lascivious grin in return. Well objectively she could understand Puck's physical appeal – she was smart, not blind – but didn't he get tired stringing those girls along?

'Like what you see Berry?' Rachel's mouth thinned a bit at his cocky tone.

'I'm trying to ascertain your reasons for behaving this way.'

'How's that going?'

Rachel heaved a sigh. She _so _didn't get him.

'Well, I still don't understand why you felt the need to defend my honour-'

'This isn't the Middle Ages. Us normal people call it kicking ass and taking names,' Puck informed her. 'Do I take a left or right?'

'Right onto Housia,' Rachel replied automatically. 'You have to admit my skepticism. After all, for the past year you have been the main force behind my weekly slushie attacks.'

'I haven't done that since I joined Glee.' Rachel saw the grip on his steering wheel tighten ever so slightly.

'Well no,' Rachel conceded, remembering that it had been other members of the various athletic teams who had taken up the mantle instead. 'But forgive me for feeling the slightest bit apprehensive about your motives.'

Puck snorted. 'Do I go straight?' At Rachel's nod he eased off the gas as the light turned red. 'Whatever Berry. I'm a jerk.'

'Yes you say that but your actions indicate otherwise,' Rachel said somewhat petulantly.

'Look, Kralownsky deserved what he got. Can we just leave it at that?'

Rachel didn't want to do that.

'But you said we're not friends,' she pressed.

'No, we're not,' Puck agreed.

'Then _why _did you offer to drive me home?' Rachel finally gave in to the creeping frustration that had simmered below the surface. 'I've been trying to come up with a logical reason for what you've done, but in all honesty Puck your thinking is downright non-linear.'

'I'll take that as a compliment.'

Spotting her house up ahead, Rachel folded her fingers together, trying to slip and twist them together so that she could distract herself.

_He is so exasperating!_

She ran her mind through the past few weeks, back when Puck had joined Glee. Initially sullen and reticent, the left tackle had gradually become more receptive towards the rest of New Directions. In fact, Rachel mused, it appeared that everyone had more or less accepted that Puck was a part of the family now.

It seemed that the only person he still didn't like was her.

_Then why is he standing up for you and driving you home?_

The circularity of her thoughts was giving her a headache. She was grateful when Puck put his truck in park, the gears emitting a low, grinding noise.

'Thank-'

'I get it. You appreciate it blah blah blah,' Puck waved off her gratitude.

'Well I'm sorry if my expressions of thanks are offensive to you,' Rachel said, narrowing her eyes.

'There are only so many times you can thank someone before it starts sounding like a broken record.'

Rachel stared at him, mouth agape momentarily.

'You, Noah Puckerman, are an inconsiderate tadpole!'

He frowned at her words, leaning over to unlock the passenger door. The sides of his arm brushed against her and she caught a whiff of laundry detergent and the ocean.

'Don't let the door hit you on the way out,' he retorted, slinging an arm over the bench seat. Rachel felt his fingers brush her neck and stemmed the rush of blood to her cheeks.

_It's because I'm angry. It has nothing to do with him. Nothing at all!_

'I hope you have a nice day,' Rachel gritted out.

_He stood up for you, remember that. He isn't always such a…such a…_

'Whatever,' he sounded bored.

_An ass!_

She jerked her bag with her as she all but stumbled out of the car, making sure to forcefully shut the passenger door. The truck fairly rattled when she did, giving Rachel a measure of satisfaction. Flipping her hair over her shoulder, she gracefully stomped her way up to her front door. Inserting the key into the lock, she twisted it open with a quick flick of her wrists.

Puck was still parked at the curb when she closed the door behind her. A few minutes later she heard the engine rumble to life. Her back against the door, she slid down and cradled her chin in her hands.

She couldn't help thinking that both times Puck had been by; she had ended up in the exact same position.

**a/n: corrected chapter 12 per Kevin's advice. this is meant to be the second half of chapter 12 so enjoy. review target - 340? since i posted two chapters so quick!  
**

**shameless plug - check out my one-shot for MakeitHappen called 'Absolutely Maybe'  
**


	14. Chapter 14

Rachel blinked at the spray paint on her locker, the hand on the handle of her trolley bag slipping away.

FREAK.

She had known this was coming, the minute she had seen Puck and Kurt deposit him into the trash receptacle. But this…this wasn't _right_. What had she done to deserve this? She felt Kurt's hand on her shoulder, remembering his offer to drive her to school that day.

'Rachel?' The way he said her name was tentative, as if he didn't quite know how she would react.

'I need to go see the janitor about some cleaning supplies. Perhaps by the time everyone arrives-'

'Of course _cherie_. Let's go.'

When Puck arrived at school, he didn't really notice the people around him.

'Can you _believe _it?'

'Well, this is _Rachel Berry_ we're talking about.'

Frowning at the two juniors, Puck's voice broke them out of their whispered conversation.

'Did you just say Berry?'

The one with curly red hair looked at him with wide, startled eyes, her friend looking equally starstruck.

'What's up with Berry?' Puck asked again, trying not to sound irritated.

'Someone spray painted her locker,' one of them said, giving him what he thought was a coquettish look. The other one laughed.

_Shit._

'What the hell are you laughing at?' Puck demanded, aware that a few people were watching the conversation with interest.

'Well, you have to admit she is kind of a freak. I mean, who posts videos of themselves _singing _on mySpace every single day?'

Puck glared. 'Berry has more talent in her pinkie finger than either of you combined,' was all he said before pushing his way through the corridor. Up ahead, he saw Rachel, Kurt and Mercedes scrubbing at the locker door. The word outlined in thick, black letters made him clench his teeth.

Dropping his backpack noisily on the floor, he folded his arms and spotted a few baseball players smirking amongst the crowd.

_I knew it. That bitch is going down._

'What the hell are you people looking at?' Puck ground out, fixing a dark scowl on his face. Most of the crowd dispersed after that. Glancing down when he felt a hand on his elbow, he saw a subdued Rachel looking up at him.

'You gonna stand there and look all impressive or help us clean this?' Mercedes asked loudly from Kurt's side. Wordlessly, Puck gently shrugged out of Rachel's grip and picked up the bottle of acetone and a sponge.

'Where the fuck is the janitor?'

'I decided that it would be best if I cleaned this off myself,' Rachel's answer wavered slightly around the edges, the back and forth movement of her arm never ceasing. 'A symbolic gesture that this immature prank has failed to achieve its desired objective.'

Puck took a minute to translate her words into English. He took in the slight downturn of her lips, the crinkled brow and rigid posture and put it side by side with the fiery, frustrated girl who had mouthed off to him in his truck.

'You know who did this.' It wasn't a question since Puck already knew the answer.

'Yes,' there was no hesitation in Rachel's reply.

'Say the word, Puckerman, and I got your back,' Mercedes chipped in, tossing her sponge into a bucket. Students milled around, casting them curious glances as they walked by.

'_No_.' Rachel's forceful reply caught both of them off guard, though Kurt didn't look surprised. 'This is something that I need to handle on my own.'

'_Cherie_-'

'I'm grateful for your help but I've dealt with slushie attacks, pornographic smear campaigns, and derogatory comments from my peers by myself.'

'Weren't you the one that said Glee is all about helping each other and shit?' Puck shot back, sponge suspended in midair, trying to ignore the truth behind her words.

'Practice what you preach girl,' Mercedes agreed.

'We're your friends Rachel. You attack one diva, you attack us all,' Kurt put in with a flick of his hair.

The next thing he knew, Rachel had flung herself into his arms. Puck's muscles tensed immediately and he looked at Hummel when he felt something wet on his shirt.

_Crying girls man. Why?_

Hesitantly, he patted her head. Kurt rolled his eyes while Mercedes looked at him as if he were retarded.

'Rachel?' Finn's alarmed voice caught their attention. The quarterback took in the faint outline on Rachel's locker and Puck's arms around her and his eyes hardened immediately. 'What happened?'

'A fellow student living up to his standing in the McKinley High social strata,' Kurt supplied when Rachel pressed herself closer into Puck's chest.

_Damn hormones_.

Shifting slightly Puck absently placed his hands on the small of her back, thumb tracing circles against her tailbone. He felt Rachel shudder and didn't know whether it was from his touch or because of her tears.

'What?'

'Kralownsky dude,' was all Puck said. What he didn't expect was the rush of blood that accompanied his words. His best friend hitched his backpack higher.

'I'm going to kill him,' Finn gritted out through clenched teeth. The first bell rang overhead.

'No Finn,' Rachel said, head still buried in his arms. Puck decided that she felt nice (not that he would ever say that out loud).

'Why not? You let Puck do it!'

'What are you? Five?' Puck shot back, getting annoyed.

'I care about Rachel just as much as you do! Oh wait, I forgot who I was talking to,' Finn replied, ignoring Kurt when the smaller teen mentioned that he had been present too. Puck tightened his hold on Rachel.

'The hell is that supposed to mean?' Puck felt his spine snap straight.

'Maybe you did this-'

The comment made Puck loosen his hold and he was just about to push himself off the floor when he felt Rachel fist his shirt. Narrowing his eyes at Finn, he barely heard Kurt climb to his feet. Inserting himself between the pair of best friends, the lanky boy looked from one to the other.

'While this has been highly revealing, my friend doesn't need the both of you engaging in another display of male posturing,' Kurt said sternly, Mercedes making a sound in the back of her throat to indicate that she agreed with him.

Finn looked like he was about to argue but then stopped when he caught the look on Mercedes' face. Barely giving them a glance, he walked stiffly away as the tardy bell rang.

'_Cherie_, let's go get you freshened up alright?' Kurt said, keeping his tone soothing. The sniffle Rachel made in response made Puck soften involuntarily.

'Thank you,' she whispered wetly and allowed herself to be gently led away by Kurt. Watching the two of them walk away, Puck abruptly reached for his backpack.

'I know you ain't going to do something stupid,' Mercedes raised a hand.

'I'm going to break his nose again,' Puck said, stepping to the side. Mercedes matched his movement.

'Didn't you hear what Rachel just said?'

'You can't be serious?' Puck gave her a look of disbelief. 'You want me to listen to a girl who just did _this_?' He pulled at the damp spot on his shirt to emphasize his point.

Mercedes rolled her eyes. 'Kicking that white boy might make you feel good now, but fools like that take that kind of stupid and make it a whole new brand of idiot. Go to class He-Man. We'll talk about this later.' Mercedes must have noticed the set of his shoulders because she poked a finger into his chest. 'Don't make Rachel more upset.'

It pissed him off that those words were enough.

'Fine. But if he does one more-'

'Save the Gleek, save the world. I got it,' Mercedes gave him a wink and a playful punch to the shoulder. As she walked away, Puck gave Rachel's locker a hard, long stare. Grunting, he dropped down and grabbed the sponge, pouring more acetone as he worked away the last remnants of the word.

The uneven splotch on his shirt made him pause. Puck smoothed a finger down, feeling it come away damp.

_Well, here's to being a Gleek and turning over a new leaf._

Puck had never thought of the consequences of his actions. But now…now he knew.

**a/n: everyone should have their own Kurt. I do so that's where I'm drawing my inspiration from. and like i've said, reviews make me update faster.  
**


	15. Chapter 15

Rachel managed to make it to lunch by pretending she was Veronica Mars. The physical similarities and interests between the two of them were not obvious, but she felt that they shared a keen understanding of what it was like to be persecuted by your peers. Thankfully she didn't have a car for them to deface or vandalize – Rachel wasn't sure how she would ever explain that to her parents.

Kurt had been remarkable of course, pressing cool paper towels to her face to play down the redness and materializing a mascara wand and eyeliner from his Marc Jacobs satchel. He hadn't asked her if she was okay and for that Rachel was grateful. Instead, he had deposited her off at first period with an imperious glare to their twittering classmates.

_I cried in front of Noah Puckerman! _

The thought spiraled through her head as she made her way towards the choir room. She had stopped by her locker before and was surprised that the paint had been completely wiped off.

Rachel wondered who had cleaned it.

The sight that greeted her when she entered the room made her pull up with a start. Someone was already there, long tan fingers strumming the strings of an acoustic guitar. Entranced, Rachel watched as the pads of his digits plucked and smoothed to create a melody that she had never heard before.

**I came to California flying all alone**

**I left the nest to see if I could build my own**

**And then I joined a flock that was soaring high above**

**It's the Echo Park Ornithology Club**

**They say I've got a bird chest and some chicken legs**

**I met a chickadee but she won't lay my eggs**

**Now it's flying home that I am dreaming of**

**In the Echo Park Ornithology Club**

He stopped, letting the last note linger.

_He was…and it was…what?_

Impartially she knew that Puck must possess some kind of musical talent. After all she had seen his Acafellas performance online and while the dancing left much to be desired, there was no mistaking the deep baritone that had obviously facilitated his membership into Glee. And she had seen him play the guitar during rehearsal but watching him sing _and _play at the same time?

Rachel tugged at the sweater vest she had over her white blouse.

Puck must have felt her eyes on him because the next thing she knew, a pair of inscrutable green ones were looking right at her. When he didn't say anything, Rachel knotted her fingers into the fabric of her shirt and chanced a tentative step forward.

'I didn't think there would be anyone here,' she said, her voice sounding unsure and interminably soft to her ears.

_Veronica Mars, Rachel. Would she be embarrassed that she had flung herself like some weak-kneed damsel into his arms? No, she would not. In fact, indifference and snark would be her rejoinder._

When he didn't say anything she spoke again, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. 'That was really good.'

_I mean really, _really _good._

Puck scratched the back of his neck, averting his gaze. 'Yeah, well…'

'Is there a reason you're here?' Rachel enquired, stepping further into the room when Puck made no move to ask her to leave.

'I don't see your name anywhere so that means the room's fair game,' Puck repeated the words she had said to him that day on the bleachers. Rachel felt her eyes widen and Puck smirked upon seeing her reaction.

'I didn't mean to imply – what I meant was that-'

'I wanted to talk to you anyway,' Puck cut in, placing the guitar on his lap. She noted the way he handled the instrument carefully, as if it were a prized possession.

'You did?' Rachel said, sliding a hand across the smooth black surface of the piano.

'I wanted to make sure you were, you know,' Puck appeared uncomfortable as he trailed off. Rachel swallowed before grazing her fingers lightly over the piano keys.

'Thank you for comforting me this morning. I know you didn't have to and I'm sure you would have rather I hadn't done what I did, but I'm extending my gratitude nonetheless,' Rachel rushed out, keeping her back turned to him when she said it.

Because she didn't know why she had thrown herself into Puck's arms. She had wanted comfort and strength and for some reason, her body had decided that the boy with the mohawk was the most logical candidate. He had held her though, hadn't he? Rachel could still feel the heat of his hand and the track of his thumb against her back.

Ironic that the boy who couldn't stand her had made her feel safe, if only for an instant.

'Don't make a production out of it Berry.' The way he brushed off his actions, as if they didn't mean anything, made her dredge up some courage and twist around to face him.

'I know how associating yourself with me will damage your popularity amongst the social elite. According to the cultural norm, the outcast and the jock are on two extremes of the spectrum and should never co-exist. While you've made it quite clear that we will never be anything more than acquaintances, or even that, the fact that you aligned yourself with-'

'Do you always say ten words when you only need to one?' Puck's comment threw her a bit, as did the amused smirk on his face. There was nothing malicious or condescending about the expression this time, and Rachel wasn't quite sure how to respond.

'Well,' she said, uncertain as he unfolded himself from the stool he had been sitting on and straddled the piano bench that she had claimed. 'A well-rounded vocabulary is essential to any young starlet, especially considering the numerous press and media junkets that my eventual fame will entail.'

She expected him to belittle her, mock her, but he didn't. Instead, Puck appeared to be studying her as if he had never seen her before. He expelled a heavy breath, one hand rubbing against the shaved part of his scalp. Rachel could see a faint dusting of black hair beginning to grow back and wondered what it would feel like.

'Look Berr-_Rachel_, we both know I'm a jackass. I started throwing slushies at you because well,' Puck shrugged, 'I didn't really see anything wrong with giving a slushie facial to someone who thought she was better than the rest of us.'

'I don't think that,' Rachel protested. Puck raised an incredulous eyebrow.

'You put gold freaking stars after your name Be-_Rachel_,' he stressed her name as if it were important. 'And let's face it, those Myspace videos? Chum to the feeding sharks. I didn't really think about what you felt, or care about your feelings really…but now? Fuck, I wouldn't blame you for hating me.'

'I don't hate you,' she said softly, a mournful sound filling the air as she pressed down on a key. 'I just didn't understand why you hated me.'

A tense, pregnant pause.

'I don't hate you,' Puck's answer sounded as if it were coming from the top of his chest.

'You must be an incredible actor then,' Rachel couldn't resist saying, the hurt and anger she felt colouring her words.

'Know what the worst part is? It's not the burning in your eyes or how the slushie drips down into your underpants. It's the humiliation.' Puck seemed to be finding the right words. 'What I'm trying to say, I guess, is that I'm sorry I ever did that to you.'

'Are you _apologizing_-'

'If you tell anyone this conversation happened, I'll deny it till I'm blue in the face,' Puck said, playing with the rounded curve of his guitar. Rachel could see the scuff marks and his name written in permanent marker, the print small and childish.

'This is completely unexpected.'

'I'm not saying I'm not going to be an ass. I got a rep to protect after all,' Puck told her, though he did glance down at his guitar to remind himself that he wasn't exactly what he had been before.

'You're a jerk,' Rachel agreed, though the slight upturn of her lips took the edge off her words. 'No offense.'

'None taken,' Puck replied, mouth curved to one side. 'So yeah, we can be...whatever.'

Rachel regarded him cagily. Yes, he had helped her these past few days but as he had reminded them both just a moment ago, he had tormented her for far longer than that.

'Like if you said hey to me in the halls I wouldn't avoid you like a communicable disease.' Rachel wrinkled her nose at his answer.

'Are you positive?' She contended.

'HIV positive.' Puck took in her blank look and shook his head. 'You need to get out more. Branch out from musicals and Broadway.'

'I maintain a healthy and diverse range of interests,' she griped, though it was half-hearted. 'So does this mean we're friends?'

'I don't do labels Berry. We are what we are.'

'I'd prefer it if you call me Rachel then.'

'Whatever. Rachel,' this time when he said her name, he tested it on his tongue, rolling the R deliberately.

_Bad thoughts. Focus!_

'Does this mean I can call you Noah?'

'No,' Puck's reply was swift and decisive. 'Puck's fine.'

'I still don't understand your aversion to Noah. That _is _your given name.'

'It's one of life's many mysteries,' Puck replied, lifting a shoulder.

They didn't say anything after that, Puck playing the tune she had heard when she had walked in. A few minutes later she teased the same harmony out on the piano. Puck looked taken aback for a moment before tilting his head and continuing with the song.

We are what we are, was what he had said. Peeking at Puck out of the corner of her eye, she remembered what Wallace had said to Veronica.

_That might play with the masses, but underneath that angry young woman shell, there's a slightly less angry young woman who's just dying to bake me something. You're a marshmallow, Veronica Mars. A twinkie! _

So he wasn't a petite blonde who was a super sleuth on the side but Rachel thought that maybe the same thing applied to him.

**a/n: 'echo park ornithology club' by Jericho. **

**Shout out to wyntertwilight for reviewing so consistently and with such incredible detail.**


	16. Chapter 16

Puck had never really realized what a good actor Rachel was. He had always assumed the overly confident front she put up was a by-product of her freakish motivated drive. Which was why he had never really felt guilty about tossing those slushies in her face. Puck figured that since he had never seen her cry, that meant she wasn't really _that _affected by it.

Taking in the smile on her face and the way she spoke emphatically during Glee, Puck now knew otherwise. Mr Schue had left them to their own devices, claiming he had to speak with Tanaka about something.

They had spent the rest of lunch jamming. Rachel hadn't really spoken, instead choosing to hum softly under her breath as the sounds of the piano and guitar wove together in a kind of soothing, elevator music kind of way. Seeing her so relaxed and relatively unguarded, Rachel had seemed as normal as she had been that day at her house.

'So have you guys thought of anything for our mash up?' Rachel asked hopefully, the rest of their group ringing around her as she stood with her hands folded behind her back. Puck thought she resembled a drill sergeant, though one with extremely nice legs.

'Well, I have a suggestion?' Rachel phrased it like a question. Brittany played with her ponytail, leaning forward. Puck noticed that the Cheerio was studying Rachel intently. The other three appeared to be doing the same. Rachel seemed to discern this too but didn't show any reaction to signal that it affected her.

'Yeah?' Puck put in. Rachel flashed him a grateful smile and Puck resisted the urge to return the gesture. He slumped further down in his seat, distantly hearing Mercedes on the other end of the room.

'I propose we combine Green Day and Oasis together. Of course, I will need a little more time to compose a suitable arrangement but I thought it best to decide on this democratically.' Puck was surprised. He hadn't thought Rachel listened to that kind of music.

'Artie and Puck, I thought that your expertise on the electric and acoustic guitar could be utilized,' Rachel continued, 'and of course Brittany and Mike are in charge of choreography. And Tina? I was hoping you could help me?' Rachel looked at the Asian girl with an uncertain, hesitant smile.

'Rachel Berry, team player. I'm impressed,' Artie commented. Puck agreed.

Rachel appeared mildly frustrated. 'I have taken Mr Schue's remarks about Glee being more than a one-woman show to heart.' She sounded slightly defensive. Artie held his hands up while Brittany shot the boy a frown.

'I think that's an excellent suggestion Rach,' Brittany bestowed a warm look on Rachel, who appeared faintly surprised before accepting it with a curve of her lips. 'We can run through it this weekend if you want?'

'Really?' Rachel's tone was edging towards incredulity. 'I thought that your social calendars would be-'

'Just name the time and place and we'll be there,' Mike cut her off with a grin.

'Is that alright with everyone?' Rachel swept her eyes over the rest of them, receiving nods from Tina and Artie. 'Puck?'

Puck could have thought of a million things he would rather be doing but one look at Rachel's face and he shrugged. 'It's cool.' The brilliant beam he got in response seemed disproportionate.

Hearing Quinn call Finn's name sharply, Puck twisted around to see his best friend glaring at him. Remembering what the quarterback had suggested that morning, Puck glowered right back.

_Maybe you did this._

As much as he tried to, Puck couldn't help but feeling slightly hurt. Yeah okay, he'd been a complete tool to Rachel and some of the other Glee kids. But Finn hadn't exactly been innocent either. What had that guy said on Law & Order? That's right, he was guilty by omission. Finn had stood by and kept his mouth shut. Except for that one time with Artie, he hadn't really said anything about Rachel's slushie facials.

_And he's stringing her along while his girlfriend's pregnant._

It was impossible to ignore the way Rachel was infatuated with Finn. He was pretty sure his friend was into Rachel too, considering the way he often spouted off about how special she was and how she was always there when he needed help with something. She'd given that creepy Jacob kid a pair of panties so that he wouldn't run the story about Quinn (or so he'd heard). And Finn'd all but welcomed her back with open arms when April had ditched them.

Furrowing his brow, Puck thought that Rachel seemed less willing to indulge in puppy love after she had quit Cabaret. It wasn't as if Puck had been paying attention. It was just something to do during Glee when Mr Schue tried to rap. Well, besides watching Quinn.

'Puck?' A soft touch on his shoulder interrupted his train of thought. Rachel was looking at him, biting her lip. Clearing his throat, Puck shrugged out of her grip.

'Yeah?'

'I've been calling your name for the past few minutes,' Rachel informed him primly.

Noticing that the rest of their group were talking amongst themselves, Puck straightened a bit in his seat.

'Hey Rach? Can I talk to you for a minute?' Finn's voice made them both turn and regard the tall boy as he stopped a few centimeters away. Rachel's lips thinned and Puck observed this with interest, wondering if this had any reason to do with how Finn had convinced her to come back to Glee.

'Of course.' If Finn noticed the lack of enthusiasm on her part, he didn't comment. 'Excuse us Puck.'

They inserted themselves into a corner of the room, far enough way that only the faint murmur of their voices could be heard. Puck remained in his seat though he made sure to keep them in his line of sight. Rachel looked faintly puzzled while Finn gestured somewhat dramatically.

'What is Man Hands talking to Finn about?' Santana asked cuttingly beside Quinn. Puck rolled his eyes and refused to answer her. Quinn apparently decided to do the same.

'That's ridiculous Finn!' Rachel's words rang throughout the room, voice raised.

'Rachel-' Finn reached for her arm but Rachel took a deliberate step away.

'How could you even say that?'

'Rach-' Finn tried again, now aware that their conversation wasn't so private anymore. Rachel shook her head and said something that made Finn's face fall.

'What's wrong Man Hands?'

'Oh shut up Santana,' Brittany's snappish reply elicited a comical look of shock from the Latina as she made her way towards Rachel, casting Finn an enquiring look as Rachel strode towards her pink trolley bag.

Seeing Finn attempting to speak with her again, Puck casually rose to his feet to block his way.

'Get out of my way man. I just need to talk to Rachel,' Finn said in a low voice, face tense.

'Hey Rachel,' Puck registered the look of astonishment on Finn's face when he said her name. 'You want to talk to Finn?'

'Not particularly,' Rachel's reply was clipped.

'She doesn't want to talk to you,' Puck told his friend. Finn screwed up his face and regarded Puck with an inscrutable look.

'I don't know what your game is Puck, but quit it. Rachel's too-'

'Are you fucking _joking_?' Puck snapped back, adopting a more edgy demeanour.

'Hey guys, calm down,' Mike spoke up from the side, lingering near enough to step in if he had to.

'No, I want to know why my best friend has decided to get on my case,' Puck shot back, fixing Finn with a look. 'So what is it?'

Finn's features hardened and Puck saw the beginnings of a red tinge start to creep up his neck. 'You know why.'

_I've got a pretty good idea why, but I want you to say it_, Puck thought.

'No, I don't. Why don't you clue me in compadre?'

'What's your game Puck?' Finn finally said, voice rising. 'You're being, like, totally _weird_. Pretending to me her friend and-'

'That's enough Finn,' Rachel's voice cracked through the air. She was beside him, and the scary, angry look on her face made him want to inch away. 'This behaviour is childish and totally unbecoming of a male lead.'

'You're _defending _him?' Finn asked incredulously as Puck smirked. Rachel looked at Finn sadly.

'This is better than America's Next Top Model,' Kurt whispered to someone.

Finn looked from one to the other. 'Whatever. I'm out of here,' he said, looking mildly disgusted. Puck made a move towards him but stopped when Mike grabbed his elbow. His teammate shook his head and Puck frowned, watching as Finn grabbed Quinn's arm and practically hauled her out the door.

'What was _that_ about?' Mercedes asked, watching Santana leave.

'Nothing,' Rachel sounded tired and she fiddled with the handle of her bag. 'Well, it doesn't appear as if Mr Schue is going to show so I'm leaving.'

Kurt swept to her side, easing the trolley bag away from Rachel and wigging his fingers goodbye to the rest of them. Puck wanted to grab Rachel and shake her, ask her what exactly Finn had said.

'Wait for me!' Brittany called out, grabbing Mike's hand as she followed after them. Tina and Artie departed too.

''You alright Puckerman?' Mercedes questioned, fixing the laces of her high tops before grabbing her bag.

'You think Rachel and Finn-'

Mercedes actually snorted. 'Oh _please_. Do I look like Oprah? You wanna know what's going on between Big Foot and Diva Bee, you ask them. I ain't gettin' involved in all this _Laguna Beach _drama unless I have to.'

'Yeah,' Puck replied absently. 'Forget it.'

'I _will _say this though,' Mercedes threw over her shoulder on the way out. 'Looks like Rachel's decided to shove you under her wing like the rest of us.' The connotations to her words were not lost on Puck.

'Huh,' he mumbled to himself, slinging his guitar case over his shoulder.

Rachel Berry had stood up for him.

Who would have thought?

**a/n: so I entered into Kiss(dot)Me(dot)Pink's Baby Mama Drama challenge here on ff(dot)net. If she picks me as one of her top three (cross my fingers), I'll let you guys know! **

**Thanks to mag721 for reviewing my Bones stories!**

**Also, considering doing a kind of my Bones 'Lest We Forget' thing for Glee. Pretty much Puckleberry but within canon. Though considering it doesn't look like that's going to happen this season, I'm not sure. Decisions, decisions. **

**And omg! JENSEN ACKLES IS ENGAGED! My life is, like, over. **


	17. Chapter 17

Rachel had refused to discuss what Finn had said to her. Instead, she had maintained a stony silence even after Kurt had dropped her off. Slamming her books into her locker viciously, Rachel tried to scrub Finn's words from yesterday from her mind.

'**Don't you see what he's trying to do?' Finn had said, looking down at her.**

'**What are you talking about?'**

'**Oh c'mon Rach! There's only one reason why Puck would even show the slightest bit of-'**

**She could feel the hurt welling up inside of her as he looked down at her with that honest, earnest face, as if what he was saying was actually helping her achieve some kind of revelation.**

'**That's ridiculous Finn!' Her voice carried across the room and she noticed that the rest of Glee were now unabashedly listening to their conversation. Finn seemed to realize this too because his eyes looked slightly panicked.**

'**Rachel-' His hand looked it was going to grasp her arm. Rachel stepped away, feeling something foreign stick to her throat. **

'**How could you even say that?'**

'**Rach-'**

**Rachel swung her head from side to side, telling herself that this was **_**Finn **_**and he wasn't trying to deliberately be cruel.**

'**Puck has been nothing but honest to me, whether or not it was hurtful,' Rachel whispered. 'He didn't take me to a bowling alley and try and pretend to be something else.'**

**Finn's face became shadowed with hurt but by that time, Rachel didn't really want to be around him anymore.**

Was it so impossible to think that someone actually wanted to be her friend? Is that how Finn saw her as? A girl who latched onto whatever offer of friendship was presented to her, no matter how superficial it was?

_You let him kiss you both times. And both times he didn't really mean it._

That pang in her chest throbbed but this time it was a bit more muted. Rachel rubbed a hand over her heart subconsciously. She didn't know how she felt about Finn anymore but she did know that they couldn't go back to the way they were before. Rachel wasn't as naïve as she had been (she cringed, recalling the way she had practically thrown herself at Finn when he had first joined Glee). No, this Rachel Berry wanted everything or nothing at all. Squaring her shoulders, she closed the door to her locker and gasped.

'Looks like you got something on your face Berry,' she heard Kralownsky say behind her face as she wiped the slimy, icy substance from her eyes. Deflating, Rachel supposed she would rather get slushied than have her locker spray painted again. Ignoring the snickers and staring, she rolled her bag towards the women's bathroom with her head held high.

'Rachel?' Brittany sounded suitably horrified.

'I don't mean to be rude but I need to wash this off before it stains permanently,' Rachel said as she passed by, refusing to meet the tall blonde's gaze. She didn't expect the hand that grabbed her elbow or the amount of force that Brittany exerted as she steered her in the opposite direction.

'Where are we going?' Rachel asked, faintly alarmed. She wasn't quite sure of Brittany's allegiance. After all she _was _friends with Santana and Quinn, no matter how friendly her behaviour had been in recent weeks towards Rachel and the other original Glee kids.

'The Cheerios locker room has an actual shower. And I can lend you some clothes!' Brittany chirped excitedly.

'Oh that's okay. I carry a spare set with me,' Rachel informed her somewhat gently. Brittany looked confused for a moment before her expression clouded with a faint tinge of sympathy. Rachel turned away, preferring not to speak. The Cheerios shower was thankfully empty. Stepping under the spray, she could hear Brittany singing softly to herself as she washed the sticky concoction off.

Rachel felt slightly guilty for doubting Brittany's intentions when the other girl helped her into her clothes with a bright smile, chattering about everything and nothing in particular.

'Thank you,' Rachel saw need to say as the warning bell rang. Brittany shrugged her slim shoulders.

'Well duh. We're friends right?' Brittany said it so casually that Rachel was left momentarily speechless.

_We are?_

'We are?' Rachel parroted. Brittany looked slightly upset at her words.

'We're kind of like teammates Rach. And you know, I thought you were kinda scary at first but now that we've like spoken and stuff, you're actually kind of cool,' Brittany said tentatively and somewhat clumsily, as if she didn't know quite what to say.

'I think you're cool too,' Rachel replied, realizing that she was speaking the truth. They both grinned rather stupidly at each other.

_Take that Finn Hudosn._

During lunch, she deliberately sat next to Brittany. The others gave them both odd looks before resuming their conversations.

'Hi,' Rachel said uncertainly. What were they supposed to talk about? Rachel had never really been clear on what exactly the popular clique conversed about. The one time she had overheard a conversation between two of the more junior members of the Cheerio squad, they had been discussing Puck.

'Hey!' Brittany greeted her brightly.

'How was your day?'

Brittany leveled her with a look that was surprisingly intense. 'Have you ever had a girlfriend before?'

'Does Kurt count?' Rachel answered, feeling slightly self-conscious.

'He's kinda androgynous so I guess…' She trailed off when Mike and Matt banged their lunch trays onto the table. Puck took the empty chair next to Rachel and she snuck a look at the dark scowl on his face.

'What's got you boys all worked up?' Mercedes asked, stealing a fry from Tina.

'Tanaka's being a dick,' was all Puck offered in reply. Rachel looked at him confused.

'Would you care to elaborate?'

'Tanaka's being a _big _dick,' Puck shot back.

'Can the 'tude homeboy,' Mercedes said, slicing a hand through the air. 'Mike, help a sistah out?'

'Yeah guys, w-w-what's wrong?' Tina added.

'Coach called this emergency team meeting and gave us an ultimatum,' Mike finally said, staring down at the runny potatoes swimming around his tray. Kurt picked that moment to flounce over, Finn hesitantly behind him. Rachel met the quarterback's eyes for a moment before she glanced away. Beside her, Puck shifted in his seat, his thigh brushing against hers for a second. Rachel resisted the urge to jerk away.

'I think Mr Schue pushed Coach over the deep end man,' Matt offered.

'The man needs a visit to a day spa and a tailor to get rid of those hideous spankies on a normal day. But this? _This _resembles a clear out sale at Walmart – completely and utterly unjustifiable,' Kurt huffed out. Rachel wasn't quite sure what that meant.

'Is anyone actually going to tell us what this ultimatum is?' Artie tried to steer everyone back on topic.

'Coach's scheduled a mandatory practice Thursdays at three-thirty,' Matt spoke up.

'_What_?' Rachel gasped out. 'But that's when we have Glee! Mr Schue was completely clear when he drew up the schedule with Coach Tanaka!'

'Yeah well, apparently having your future wife make goo goo eyes at you twists Tanaka's jock strap the wrong way. He said it's either football or we're off the team,' Puck informed them bitterly. A tense silence permeated their table, Finn standing behind Kurt's chair awkwardly.

'Look guys, let's just think it over alright? We've got a couple of days before then,' Finn suggested, clearing his throat. When no one answered he tried to catch Rachel's eye again. Seeing that she was still reticent to look at him, he sighed tiredly and offered them a sloppy wave, heading towards the jock table.

_Well, looks like we know where his allegiance lies_, Rachel thought somewhat bitterly, seeing Finn seat himself beside Quinn.

_That's unfair Rachel. Remember how he defied the social hierarchy the first time to participate in Glee? How he told us he wanted to belong to something more?_

_What makes you think he'll do it again?_

Rachel bit her lip, looking across at Matt and Mike. Both their features were tense and perturbed. Sneaking a glance at Puck out of the corner of her, she watched as he fiddled with the flimsy spork in his hand.

'Well, I for one know where my allegiance lies,' Kurt pronounced, flipping his hair out of his eyes. Mercedes chuckled along with Artie and Tina, Rachel beaming across at her friend. Matt and Mike managed small smiles though the scowl on Puck's face grew more dark.

'Don't worry. Whatever you guys decide, we still got your back,' Mercedes assured them. Even though she didn't say it, everyone around the table knew what she had left out.

_Although you might not want it._

Rachel chewed on her bottom lip, poking at the salad she had brought from home. This was so unfair! Just when they had finally established some sort of foundation to build on, Tanaka had let his-

'Hey, weren't you wearing something else this morning?' Puck's question broke her from her train of thought. Rachel blinked, colouring slightly when she noticed Matt and Mike raking their eyes over her outfit. She didn't see Puck shoot each boy a muted glare.

'No,' Rachel replied, thankful her voice came out level.

'You were,' Puck insisted. Rachel frowned.

'And you would know this how? I didn't perceive your presence in the hallways this morning,' Rachel said off-hand, hoping he would drop the subject.

'I saw you on the way to the locker room.'

'Obviously you were mistaken.' Rachel heard him mutter something about legs and a nationwide shortage of fabric under his breath.

'What?'

'Nothing. Forget it,' Puck mumbled, turning back and viciously spooning some mashed potato into his mouth. Rachel crinkled her nose in disgust. Brittany elbowed her, shooting her a sly grin.

'What?' Rachel mouthed to her, making Brittany roll her eyes.

_Did I miss something?_

**a/n: the 450****th**** and 500****th**** reviewer will win a Puckleberry one-shot. So I have spoken. and please more reviews? feedback is the lifeblood of this prose. **

**and thank you to those who have shared in my devastation regarding jensen ackles. i have accepted that this is some kind of master plan to focus my full attention on the captain of my football team (google cesc fabregas. so fine. and spanish).  
**


	18. Chapter 18

Puck didn't see Rachel the rest of Friday. He had also given Finn a supremely wide berth, grateful that there wasn't practice after school. Tanaka had said something about priorities. Whatever.

Mike had texted him though about their meeting on Saturday, which was why he found himself pulling up onto Rachel's driveway just after lunch. His sister was at a friend's house, which was one less thing for him to worry about. Turning the engine off, Puck hesitated when he realized that no one else was there yet.

_What are you? Scared? Get outta the car already._

Rapping his knuckles loudly on her front door, Puck waited impatiently for her to answer. The feel of his stomach twisting slightly and the nervous tension in his muscles disconcerted him momentarily. He didn't even know why his senses felt like they were on overload but it was throwing him off.

_Oh fuck. Are her dads home?_

Puck hadn't even considered that. He already knew most parents saw him as some kind of negative influence, save for Mrs Hudson. Puck had done nothing to assuage those concerns when he had paraded out his new mohawk and walked around with a permanently affixed look of displeasure on his face. It wasn't like he _wanted _them to like him. As far as he was concerned, the whole nuclear family thing had been shot to dust the moment his father had bailed. Watching your mother walk around like a zombie after a double clinic shift and still insist that she make you something healthy for dinner was more than enough evidence that the American dream was a load of crap anyways.

But still.

The immense wave of relief that swept through him when Rachel opened the door was surprising.

'Puck!' She raised her voice in surprise. 'You're early. We weren't supposed to meet until two.'

'Chang told me to be here at one-thirty,' Puck mumbled, scrolling through his texts.

'Well, you're here so it doesn't really matter,' Rachel gave him a tight smile, stepping aside to let him in.

_I'm so gonna stuff him in a locker_, Puck thought when he found the message Mike had sent him yesterday.

The wooden floor echoed as Rachel walked past him.

'You can hang your jacket there if you want,' she told him, pointing at a coat rack. 'And could you please remove your shoes?'

He shrugged off his jacket and Chucks without complaint, standing there uncomfortably after that. Hearing rattling sounds coming from the kitchen, Puck decided to look around. Hands in his pockets, he peered up at the line of photos hung up in a neat line along the wall. One was of a small Rachel sandwiched between a man with glasses and a bald African-American, her gap-toothed smile displayed for all to see. Another showed Rachel when she was about eight, one leg extended out as she soared through the air in a pink tutu.

'Would you like a drink?' Rachel's voice made him turn around. Puck pushed down the irrational feeling of guilt when Rachel regarded him with tempered caution.

'You got a beer?' The blatant look of disapproval she gave him was enough of an answer. 'Water's good.'

This time when she retreated back into the kitchen, Puck followed. Rachel retrieved a bottle of Evian from the fridge, pouring it into a tall glass.

'Thanks,' he said, their fingers brushing against each other. For a moment their eyes met before Puck brought the glass to his lips and took a large chug. Despite the cool condensation, he could still feel something electric from the contact.

'So…' Rachel trailed off, looking at him awkwardly. Puck blinked and then narrowed his eyes.

'You never answered my question from yesterday,' Puck told her.

'What question?' Puck rolled his eyes. The girl may be a good actress but her lying right now sucked.

'Why'd you change your clothes? And don't try and feed me that bullshit about how it isn't important or that you completely have no idea what I'm talking about.'

Rachel fixed him with a glare before deflating. 'Well I suppose in the path towards us building a sustainable friendship, honesty is a prerequisite,' she said the words pointedly, leveling him with a look. Puck returned her gaze in equal measure, not saying anything. If there was one thing Rachel Berry despised, it was silence. Sure enough, the petite brunette let out a ragged sigh and fiddled with the empty plastic bottle.

'I got slushied,' she admitted, spitting it out like it was a curse. 'There. Are you satisfied?'

'Who?' Puck pressed, setting the glass down. He had acquiesced to not caving Kralownsky's face in for the locker because of what Rachel had said (and yeah, Mercedes was scary in a Jay Z kinda way), but he _had_ said one more thing.

'I didn't really see-'

'It was Kralownsky, wasn't it?' Puck said through gritted teeth but tried to rein it in when Rachel took an unconscious step back. Breathing in, he clenched his fists.

_You are not your father Puckerman. Calm the fuck down._

'I refuse to let you engage in another bout of barbaric, alpha male behaviour simply because-'

Puck felt irritated. Wasn't she pissed as well?

'Are you telling me you actually _want _to let him get away with this shit?'

'Of course I want him to be punished,' Rachel snapped back. 'What he's done to me has been positively humiliating.' Puck saw Rachel realize whom she was speaking to because the self-proclaimed female lead of Glee tried to compose herself, letting out another inaudible sigh and placing the Evian bottle down on the counter.

'You are _not _my keeper Puck. I can manage James by myself.'

_Don't you see I'm trying to help you? _

_Trying to prove yourself you mean._

'Well I respectfully disagree with you,' Puck applauded himself for sounding so levelheaded when he said it.

'This isn't a negotiation!' Rachel protested, poking a finger to his chest.

'You want to get political? Alright, I'll break his nose again. I promise to lay off on permanently disabling any of his other appendages.' Puck paused, reconsidered. 'Unless he does something that-'

'_No Puck_,' Rachel interrupted, looking at him with wide, determined eyes. 'You've already been involved in one altercation. Principal Figgins will _suspend _you if you see fit to engage in another!' She was shaking her head. 'I will absolutely not have your permanent record tarnished because you assumed you were doing some chivalric gesture on my behalf.'

'Who the fuck said anything about this being about _you_?' Puck shot back. Rachel actually looked taken aback for a second.

'You did!' She erupted, throwing her hands up in the eye.

'So you _don't _want me to kick the crap outta him?'

'Of course I do!' Puck smirked while Rachel scrambled to clarify herself. 'That wasn't what I meant.' Rachel seemed to deflate and the corners of Puck's mouth drooped slightly in response.

'I've always been subjected to disparaging remarks and been on the receiving end of rather malicious actions since I started at McKinley,' Rachel murmured, Puck's stomach violently twisting. 'By going after James, it will merely perpetuate this cycle of violence even longer. So I'm asking you to _please_, _please _not do anything rash. I assure you, like I have said before, that my defense mechanism is more than adequate to handle this.'

'That's fucking retarded,' Puck let his brain and mouth converge.

'Is that an affirmation?' Rachel asked.

_And she said my thinking is whack?_

'I don't like it.'

'I didn't think you would,' her tone was wry but the undercurrent of affection also made Puck shift against the counter he had been leaning on. 'But it means a lot that you think of me enough to stand up for me.'

_Yeah Puckerman, because before __she needed someone to protect her from _**you**.

_So I'm a fucking idiot. I already know that, alright?_

_You're supposed to be friends? You want that asshole to keep pulling shit on her?_

_No!_

_Then kick the holy hell outta him!_

'Puck?' Rachel's small hand rested against the sleeve of his shirt, the warmth burning through the fabric.

'Whatever. I don't do chick flick moments,' Puck mumbled, turning away but not dislodging her grip.

'You _promise _not to touch him,' Rachel pressed, both with her words and in her touch. The muscles in his arm jumped in reaction. Puck made a noncommittal sound in the back of his throat. Rachel thinned her eyes.

The doorbell rang.

_Thank Yahweh._

Rachel dropped her hand and looked at him, before swinging her head and hurrying towards the door.

'Hey Rach,' Brittany's perky voice filtered through.

'Puck's here already?' Mike's voice made him walk through towards the mud room.

''Sup man?' Puck injected enough to let Mike know that he knew what the Asian had done. His friend grinned in response instead of cowering in fear, subtly gesturing towards Brittany.

'Hey Puck!' Brittany greeted him effusively, her eyes cutting back and forth between him and Rachel as if she was looking for something. Suddenly her blue eyes lit up and she grabbed Rachel around the arm, dragging her towards the living room and yelling over her shoulder for some privacy. Puck watched them go with a raised eyebrow before turning back to Mike.

'You let Brit touch your phone? I actually had to spend time with-'

'Her dads aren't here?' Mike cut him off. Puck turned the thought over in his head.

'I don't think so,' he said, realizing that he hadn't actually noticed them around. 'Rachel didn't say anything.'

'Oh it's _Rachel _now huh?'

Puck narrowed his eyes. 'Yeah, so?' Puck retorted somewhat defensively.

'Nothing, nothing,' Mike replied, still with that stupid grin on his face. 'So, er, did you and _Rachel _talk about anything in particular?'

'You think you're funny?'

'Dude, I think I'm friggin' adorable,' Mike parried back, eyes winking in amusement.

'Bitch.'

'Jerk,' Mike said off-hand. 'I wonder what Brit is talking to Rachel about?' This time the shit-eating grin on Mike's face made Puck frown.

'What the hell is wrong with you?'

'Dude, _c'mon_!' Mike was laughing now. 'You seriously don't know?'

'I know that I'm going to shove my fist so far down your throat-'

'Sounds kinky,' Artie said from behind Mike, wheeling around him and giving the Asian a perplexed look. 'What's his problem?'

'Oh you're all here!' Rachel was suddenly at his side, wondering why Mike had started chuckling even harder at her appearance. 'Mike, are you well?'

Mike didn't respond, instead brushing past all of them to join Brittany. On the way he patted Puck on the back, saying '_Dude_' as if Puck was an idiot.

'Did he take any decongestants?' Rachel questioned, alarmed.

'I d-d-don't think so,' Tina answered, closing the front door behind her.

'I see,' Rachel said, staring at the spot where Mike had been previously. 'Well let's not waste time. We need to ensure this performance is flawless. Puck? Are you coming?'

Puck snapped out of trying to decipher Mike's sudden onset of hilarity, deciding that it wasn't worth delving into Chang's mind unless absolutely necessary.

'Yeah,' Puck murmured as he caught up with them. Feeling Rachel's arm brush against his as they walked side by side, he recalled their earlier conversation.

_She only said not to touch Kralownsky. That hasn't stopped me before. _

_Slow torture it is._


	19. Chapter 19

Monday rolled around and Rachel walked through the halls of McKinley feeling particularly buoyed. Today was mash up day and they were going to _kill_ (or so Mike had said, when he wasn't laughing).

Rachel frowned, spinning the combination to her locker as she remembered the football player and his constant smirking on Saturday. Brittany had simply chuckled herself when Rachel had questioned her on Mike's sudden onset of mirth. All she knew was that Puck himself had alternated between attempted indifference and scrutinizing looks sent her way the few hours they had spent rehearsing. Rachel tried not to think how every time he looked her way, she could practically feel his eyes tracking her face.

The large fist that slammed into the locker beside her made her scream. Spinning around and pressing herself as close as possible into the metal behind her, Rachel swallowed another scream when she saw Kralownsky looming up in front of her.

'J-James. I'd appreciate it if-'

'You picked a really good day to piss me off Berry. How about we take another trip to the dumpster?' Kralownsky commented casually, as if he was talking about the weather, latching onto her upper arm. It was then that Rachel saw what had gotten him so angry. The hair on his scalp was patchy, the parts that were bald inflamed and red. She recognized the two boys that had been with Kralownsky the day he had deposited her into the receptacle, and saw the same thing.

'I didn't do it!' Rachel shouted, glancing left and right at the few students that were here this early. 'I assure you that I am completely innocent!' The grip on her arm tightened in response.

'Hey!' The shout was guttaral and angry. Twisting around, Rachel felt some kind of relief course through her. Puck stood there, Mike and Matt flanking him. 'Let her go asshole.'

Kralownsky paused, his face clearing as he seemed to realize something. Glancing down at Rachel, he released her and the momentum sent her slamming against the lockers. The next thing she knew, as she tried to catch her breath, an all-out brawl was playing out right in front of her eyes. Puck launched himself at Kralownsky while Mike and Matt both dealt with the other two respectively. Rachel's eyes widened in horror as blood spurted from Kralownsky's nose.

'Stop!' She yelled until her voice was hoarse. '_Stop it_!'

No one seemed to hear her. Students were clustering around the boys, some of them pumping their fists and peppering them with words of encouragement. Screwing her face up in anger, disgust and irritation, Rachel pounced when she saw her opening. Spotting a momentary reprieve as both Puck and Kralownsky saw need to put some form of distance between them, she wiggled herself into the empty space and pushed her hands out to lay them flat against both of their chests.

'_Cease and desist this violence at once_,' she used what Artie called her Christian Aguilera tone, the one that he said could carry across Madison Square Garden clear as day. Kralownsky tried to lunge around her but Rachel stood firm.

'Bring it dickhead,' Puck taunted. Rachel fixed him with a withering glare and the smirk on his face died a little.

'Shut up Noah.' The words were barely out before a whisper of wind was all the warning she had prior to Kralownsky's knuckles dragging across her cheek. The skin there stung as she gasped.

'Oh _you're fucking dead_,' Puck hissed behind her and she felt his body move.

'_I said stop it_,' this time Rachel shrieked, clutching at her cheek.

'Oh this is priceless,' Sue Sylvester's voice made the blood in Rachel's veins freeze. 'A prime example of how untrained animals need to be domesticated. I am absolutely outraged that you would even attempt such revolting behaviour while I police these halls. Well,' the Cheerios coach seemed to glow as she surveyed them all with a twinkle in her eye, 'I'm going to make the CIA's rendition practices seem like Disneyland.'

Which was why they were all lined up outside Figgins' office, the football and baseball players arranged on opposite sides of the door. She could hear Mr Schue inside and winced remembering the disappointment reflected on his face when he had seen her.

'Does it still hurt?' Puck's voice sounded strained. His lip was bleeding and the towel he had pressed against it was stained slightly red. Rachel tentatively pressed the cut across her cheekbone, cringing.

'No,' she whispered out. 'You didn't listen to me at all, did you?'

'I promised not to touch the bastard,' Puck seemed to say through clenched teeth. The muscles in his jaw flexed and Rachel watched intrigued as the Adam's apple in his throat bobbed convulsively.

'You broke his nose!' Rachel hissed, gesturing towards Kralownsky. Not that she particularly cared at the moment.

'He deserved it,' Puck spat out, looking pointedly at her cheek. Despite the resentment she could feel bubbling up inside her, his words made her soften involuntarily.

'**Oh please. Like he **_**so **_**doesn't want to be your Knight in Shining Whatever,' Brittany said, flipping her ponytail over her shoulder.**

'**Is that from the insipid show where all they seem to do is sleep with each other and than spend endless, tireless monologues lamenting about it?'**

'**Grey's Anatomy is awesome,' Brittany looked supremely vexed. **

'**Even the title is blatantly sexual. Perhaps they felt placing the program within a surgical residency would attract more credence to an otherwise-'**

'**Whatever. Puck so totally wants to be, like, the Tony to your Maria.'**

'**Are you and Mike sharing the same affliction?'**

'Does that hurt?' She parroted his words back to him, reaching out and gently placing the tips of her fingers close to his lips. For a single moment everything narrowed onto that point of contact. The skin beneath grew still and if she focused hard enough, she could hear the rough hitch in his breathing pattern.

'I'm good,' he replied, sounding as if something was stuck in his throat. His green eyes bore into hers and Rachel blushed, feeling self-conscious as she dropped her fingers. Attempting to pretend like everything was normal, she leaned forward to look at Mike and Matt.

'Are you guys alright too?'

'We're sweet,' Matt assured her, giving her a sloppy thumbs up.

'Glad to know you remembered we were there,' Mike added in sarcastically.

'But I-'

'Kidding Rach,' Mike told her gently. Rachel let out a ragged sigh, giving all three of them a piercing look.

'What exactly did you guys do?'

She saw all of them give the other a quick look before Puck spoke.

'Just a lil' Nair in the shampoo,' Puck said out loud, grinning when Kralownsky clenched his fists. 'Some harmless fun between two teams. Keeps the opposition on their toes.'

'You don't even play in the same field,' Rachel saw fit to point out.

'Whatever. Dean Winchester is _so _the man,' Puck smiled as he bumped fists with his friends.

'Mr Schue hates us, you know?' Rachel's statement made them sober.

'Whatever-'

Rachel glared at him, feeling the annoyance now coming to the surface like a large wave. It pushed forward and engulfed her.

'The three of you might not realize the significance the Glee club has for certain people, but for some of us who are not part of the football team, it's the most important thing we-'

'Haul it in my singing and dancing Fight Club,' Sue popped her head out, beckoning them inside. 'Not you Kralownsky. Go call your plastic surgeon. That nose will make babies weep.'

As they stood up, Rachel turned towards Puck, Mike and Matt.

'Just to be clear of my position on this entire fiasco, while I am extremely grateful for your efforts this morning, I do not wish to engage in further conversation unless it is a necessity. Otherwise I will not be held accountable for my actions.'

Tossing her hair over her shoulder, Rachel walked past Kralownsky with barely a glance, fully aware of the shuffling of feet behind her.

Her stomach rebelled when she saw the same disenchanted expression on Mr Schue's face.

It was the same look some of the members from Glee had often shown her when they had first started out.

She hated it.

**a/n: I added in Sue. She's just so awesome that I got so scared that I couldn't write her but then my fingers worked the keyboard and **_**boom**_**! So if she seems un-Sue, I apologize. **

**To Becca-Mae – your review made my day.**

**Marylouue was the winner of a Puckleberry one-shot! Your one-shot will be arriving soon. Blame my political economy and criminal law exams for the delay.**

**And Supernatural is the best show ever. Period.**


	20. Chapter 20

Puck had tried very hard to keep his mother away from McKinley High, so when she had swept in with that look on her face that promised a painful and swift death yesterday, Puck knew he was mince.

Shifting in his seat and pulling at the tie his mother had foisted on him (he had wanted to push it away but that scary, wild-eyed expression on Abigail Puckerman had him mutely accepting the contraption), Puck regarded Kralownsky coolly. The other boy kept glancing at the narrow doorway that led towards the corridor outside the conference room. Mike, Matt and the two other baseball players were currently inside along with Figgins, the Vice-Principal and the superintendent's representative for the informal conference the Indian had convened for today.

**'I raised my son better than this,' Abigail had said, clutching the formal letter Figgins had handed to her. Puck felt like he was eight years old again, watching his mother sob as his sister innocently asked why their father hadn't turned up for breakfast. He had never eaten another pancake again after that morning.**

Puck swallowed, tapping his fingers against the hard-backed chair, and wondered where Rachel was. While all the boys had vouched for her innocence in the altercation (one which Figgins had readily accepted, much to Sylvester's displeasure), she was needed as a witness for Kralownsky. The baseball player's actions had spread fast throughout the hallways of McKinley, and Puck had been heartened to discover that the other boy had become black-listed by the general student population.

'Hey Berry,' Kralownsky's voice broke Puck out of his thoughts. Snapping his gaze alongside the other boy's trajectory, he pulled at his tie again when he saw Rachel in a form fitting black suit and high heels. All she needed was a pair of glasses and Puck would-

'Hello,' Rachel said cautiously, abruptly coming to a halt. Puck climbed to his feet watching Kralownsky edge his way closer towards Rachel, whose cheek now sported a butterfly bandage. The sight made his blood simmer.

'Back the hell off,' Puck warned, placing himself between the two.

'I'm not gonna hurt her,' Kralownsky insisted, face neutral. 'Look Berry, I didn't mean to hurt you-'

Puck's derisive snort made the baseball player flinch. The small hand against his bicep was all the warning he got before Rachel was ducking around him to regard the stocky teenager in front of her.

'I received the message you left,' Rachel told Kralownsky calmly, watching as the other boy fidgeted. 'You must admit this sudden onset of humility is…rather doubtful. After all, you did throw me into a dumpster for malicious amusement.' Her tone was hard.

Kralownsky blew out a breath, running a hand through his hair. Puck remained tense, alert.

'I don't hit girls-' fists clenching, unclenching, 'and sometimes I let my anger get the better of me and I guess Puck was there, and I kinda got tunnel vision…' He trailed off lamely. 'I'm just sorry okay.'

Rachel still looked skeptical, though Puck saw her eyes grow more limpid. 'Does this have anything to do about how my version of events will affect the punishment you will receive?'

Kralownsky let out a dark chuckle. 'You can go in there and fucking castrate me Berry. Either way I'm screwed with my track record. I just wanted to tell you that I never meant to do that to you.' He gestured towards her cheek, glancing away when her eyes landed on him.

'And on the next episode of Days of Our Lives,' Puck said under his breath, earning him a sharp elbow from Rachel.

'I partly accept your apology,' Rachel finally said, making Kralownsky's shoulders relax marginally and Puck gape at her in disbelief.

'You're fucking with me right? This asshole deserves-'

'You explained your reasons in the message, and you were sincere,' Rachel interrupted, giving Puck a swift glare. 'Nonetheless, I will give my version of the events as I see fit. Your indiscretions have been publicly advertised. _Both _your indiscretions,' she shot both boys meaningful looks. 'Violence is abhorrent on any level and I'd appreciate it, if you really are as remorseful as you claim, that you will not attempt the same kind of behaviour you exhibited prior to this conversation.'

Kralownsky didn't reply to her words, simply nodding.

'Did I step into the Twilight Zone? Do you know what they do to guys like you Kralownsky?' Puck tried pushing past Rachel.

'Not now Puck.' Puck gaped down at Rachel. 'I appreciate your attempt at reconciliation James. I hope that we never see each other again.' As Kralownsky turned his back on the both of them, Rachel grabbed his elbow and dragged him towards the other end of the room.

'If you were my friend, you will shut up and listen to me,' Rachel hissed out before smoothing her jacket and looking him in the eye. 'You're a bully Puck.' Something in his chest squeezed at her words. 'At least, that's what I thought you were. But since we have established this tentative friendship, I have seen that kinder side I knew was there. I understand why-'

'No,' he cut her off aggressively, 'you _don't _understand.'

_His mother leaning over the sink, hand pressed to her lip as his father's fingers dug deep into his shoulder, telling him that next time he should set the dishes right._

The tilt to Rachel's head made him think he had revealed more than he should. Finn was the only one who knew what his father had been like, and the few details Puck had shared had been sketchy and vague enough to give a general picture. But the specifics haunted him sometimes at night, making him crack open the door to his mother's room and check her face for bruises.

Rachel was biting her lip now, looking up at him through her long lashes. 'Perhaps I don't. But everyone deserves a second chance, don't they?'

'_He fucking hit you._'

'He did,' she conceded. 'But it was an _accident_.'

'Like hell.'

She sighed, peeking at Kralownsky out of the corner of her eye. 'Just because I believe he needs a significant attitude adjustment-'

'Bullshit-'

'_But _he mentioned a few things that made it easier to comprehend. It really was an accident,' Rachel told him firmly. 'Just let it go.'

'No-'

'_Please _Noah. If you really are my friend, you'll listen to me this time.'

'What did he say?'

Rachel pressed her lips together.

_**This is Rachel Berry. I am currently unable to take your call due to either Glee, school or the numerous other extra-curricular activities I partake in. Please leave a short and concise message so I can prepare an adequate response.**_

'**Hey. It's James. Kralownsky, from school. Yeah. So…I googled you so…Shit. I don't blame Puckerman for kicking my ass since I busted his girlfriend's cheek. Hell, I would have broken my arm or something. But…My mum's boyfriend used to lay into her and I told myself that I wouldn't become that guy. When I get angry the tunnel vision…I just, I'm **_**sorry **_**okay Berry? This explanation is lame or whatever but it's the truth. I don't blame you for hating me but I just thought you should know. So yeah. I guess I'll see you tomorrow at the hearing.' **_**Click**_**.**

'It's something I believe James hasn't told anyone.'

'This is stupid.'

Rachel stomped her foot, her heels clicking loudly against the tiled floor. 'We've disappointed Mr Schue enough. A fourth of his Glee club is facing suspension, and with Sectionals around the corner, that is time we cannot afford to make up. Not to mention the fact that the members of the football team are going to-'

_Well fuck. She just assumes shit, doesn't she?_

'What makes you so sure that I'm going to pick football?' Puck crossed his arms, looking down his nose at her. Rachel raised an eyebrow, as if his question was ludicrous.

'Noah! There you are,' his mother's raised voice made him cringe slightly, especially when he detected the undercurrent of irritation that had lingered from last night's lecture. 'Oh whose your friend?'

'This is Rachel Berry,' Puck said resignedly. Rachel gave his mother a shy smile.

_He didn't deny that we were friends_, she thought, a bit giddy.

'Oh is your cheek feeling better sweetheart?' Abigail clucked, scrutinizing the wound. 'I can take a look at it if you want.'

'That's alright. The swelling has gone down significantly since yesterday,' Rachel assured her. Abigail shot her son a look – _see what happens when you act stupid? _Rachel seemed to catch on.

'Your son was extremely competent in coming to my defense Mrs Puckerman-'

'Call me Abigail sweetheart.'

'Abigail,' Rachel said with another one of her bashful smiles, and Puck looked from one to the other with an irrational, creeping sense of dread. 'While I admit his methods leave much to be desired, Puck has been vigilant in ensuring that no harm befalls me.'

'That still doesn't excuse his behaviour,' Abigail rebuked, though Puck thought she sounded less angry. 'Where are your parents dear?'

'Oh Dad and Daddy won't be home until tomorrow-'

'You're alone by yourself?' The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them, earning him an amused half-smile from Rachel and a considering one from his mother. 'I just think it isn't safe.'

'We possess a superb burglar alarm,' Rachel told him. 'It emits a sound that renders any unauthorized persons unconscious in under thirty seconds.'

'That's…helpful,' Abigail put in.

'I also keep a bottle of mace by my bedside table,' this time she looked at Puck when she said it. 'You worry too much.'

'I wasn't worried,' Puck mumbled, rubbing his neck self-consciously.

'Mr Kralownsky? Mr Puckerman? It's your turn,' a small, plump woman with glasses announced as the four students inside filed out.

'Mike Chang and Matthew Rutherford,' his mother intoned sternly. 'I hope this has taught you a lesson?'

'Yes Ma'am,' the replied automatically as Abigail brushed past them to speak with their parents.

'What's the damage?' Puck asked.

'Three days,' Mike rattled out with a sigh. 'My mother cursed at me in Chinese man. I'd be lucky if I ever see the light of day again.'

'Word,' Matt murmured, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking over at the small knot of parents.

'Well the three of you deserve to be punished for your stupidity,' Rachel's words made all three look at her.

'We were being all chivalrous. Doesn't that count?' Mike told her with a hesitant smile that seemed to appease Rachel somewhat, though not by a considerable margin. Puck remembered how tight-lipped and scary quiet Rachel had been yesterday and wondered whether all that internalizing was what made her so...

'I'll be sure to tell Brittany you said that,' she whispered, loud enough for Puck to hear.

_Interesting…Chang and the Flexi-Barbie._

'Though I am still displeased that the three of you engaged in such meaningless-'

'_Noah_!' His mother's voice cracked across to him.

'I'll see you guys when I'm out on bail,' Puck told them solemly, slapping their backs.

'Stay strong bro,' Matt clapped him on the back, giving them a sloppy wave as he and Rachel walked side by side towards the conference room.

'Boys are idiots,' were the last words he heard out of Rachel before the door closed behind them, Figgins and the other three adults all seated on a high-raised bench like judges.

_Where's your gavel? Your jury? What's my offence this time?_

Hayley Williams couldn't have sung it better.

And Puck really needed to buy Rachel a bat. Mace. _Puh-lease_.

**a/n: thus marks the end of the kralownsky arc. He served his purpose. And if you think Rachel forgave him too easily, well I think her heart is so huge and plus he left her a message! and it really was an accident! i wrote him so i know dude.  
**

**Onwards towards the next arc which may be credited to babs08.**


	21. Chapter 21

In hindsight, perhaps Rachel had overreacted. Both Puck and James had received ten day suspensions respectively. When Puck had saw fit to complain about his punishment, Rachel had reminded him he had only his inability to control his testosterone levels to blame. She had cushioned the blow by offering to take home his notes and homework for the classes he would miss, an idea which Abigail Puckerman had whole-heartedly supported.

It had also further strained ties between Mr Schue and Coach Tanaka. People whispered about a shouting match that involved both men, with Tanaka accusing Mr Schue of setting up this elaborate plot as retaliation for Tanaka's ultimatum. As a result, Mr Schuester had walked around in a particularly foul mood and Rachel decided that now wasn't the time to point out that sometimes when life hands you lemons, you simply make lemonade and ask them how sweet they like it. It was something her Daddy always used to say when she was little, and a saying that had helped Rachel through many a slushie facial.

So she had gone over to the Puckerman household everyday after school. The first time she had pulled up onto Puck's driveway, she had openly gaped at the neatly trimmed hedges and blooming roses framing the edges of the gravel. She had been even more surprised when Puck had inadvertently let slip that he was the one that took care of the garden.

'I can't clean pools year round,' was all he had said before firmly dismissing the topic.

Puck's house was small but warm. The muted cream walls and well-worn furniture was slightly messy but cared for. Puck had seemed embarrassed about her intent scrutiny of his abode. Something about how her house was so much bigger. She had promptly informed him that size didn't matter, to which his reply had been laced with innuendo.

Rachel never stayed long and neither Puck nor her said much to each other, but there was a kind of peace between them now. Was that the right word? All Rachel knew was that she was beginning to feel comfortable around Puck, where before she had always kept an extra eye to make sure he wasn't hiding a slushie behind his back. Him standing up for her had nothing to do with this newfound revelation, she had firmly told herself repeatedly. So when the ten days drew to a close and they were all crowded around the choir room looking at the clock, Rachel held her breath. Tanaka had remained firm and Mr Schue had lost none of the gloom hanging over his head.

'Do you think they'll really choose us?' Tina asked without stuttering. Mr Schue gave a weary sigh, eyes not moving as the long hand inched closer to the half-hour mark.

'We can just hope that they do the right thing.'

'This is the right thing man,' Matt repeated Mr Schue's words down the hall. Mike and Puck leaned against the wall, hearing the tic-tic-ticking of the big clock that hung over the entrance to the locker room. Puck was sure this was some kind of psychological torture. His first day back at school and already he was up shit creek without a paddle. Rachel had never brought up Tanaka's retarded rock-and-hard-place challenge. Puck had known the football coach had never liked the fact that his star players had taken up residence under Mr Schue's wing, but clearly the man needed to accept the fact his Lysol-addicted girlfriend (or fiancée) just wasn't that into him.

'Dude this blows. Majorly,' Mike remarked sourly, kicking the wall.

'Understatement,' Matt murmured.

_Tic, tic, tic._

'No one from Glee even asked me what I was gonna do. It's like they've all already decided we're gonna pick football,' Mike said.

Yeah okay, Puck liked football. It allowed him to channel his aggression into a positive outlet or some shit like that. But Glee? Alright so he'd be the first to admit that joining the show choir had been a ploy to be near to Quinn and the baby. But after a while it wasn't so bad. Puck actually liked jamming with Artie, strumming along and goofing off with them while doing an impromptu version of Nelly's "Ride Wit Me". He didn't feel he had to be this jock whose only credential was to ram into other guys and score winning touchdowns. Being in Glee meant he could play the guitar and sing and not feel like a total dork for enjoying the things he did behind his bedroom door. Besides, you could get a scholarship for being awesome in show choir couldn't you? He was pretty sure Ms Pillsbury had mentioned it to Finn.

_I'd rather be a Gleek than a Kralownsky._

Because, Puck realized with a slow, creeping certainty, he didn't think he could go back to pulling the shit he had before joining Glee. The Gleeks were people now, maybe even his friends (acquaintances, Puck corrected, _casual _acquaintances). They weren't faceless, nameless bodies he could throw slushies at, haul into the dumpster or upend in a porta-potty.

_Shit I'm turning into a fucking pansy._

Puck scowled, glaring at the locker doors. Mr Schue would never have heaped crap like this on them. Sure, he'd been slightly pre-menstrual about Mike, Matt and him getting suspended but he had spotted a batch of Rachel's "I'm Sorry" sugar cookies on his desk so Puck figured the New Directions head had achieved some kind of peace with the past few days. Besides Mr Schue had also stuck up for him during the informal conference, something which had both surprised and made Puck regard him as if he were an alien (because Puck couldn't ever recall a teacher saying anything nice about him. _Ever_).

Tanaka, on the other hand, was being a douche and treading towards menopausal.

_Screw this. Let's see Tanaka win without the most awesome guy on the fucking team._

Puck headed towards the choir room, gratified when he heard Mike and Matt fall alongside him. Neither of them said a word.

_That's right. Real men don't need to say anything. That's just how we roll._

'Hey, what about Finn?' Mike's question made Puck pause for half a second. He hadn't seen his best friend anywhere, and Puck wasn't sure whether that was intentional or not. The last time he had seen Finn had been the day during Glee, before the Great Nair Incident (as Puck had taken to calling it inside his head).

'You think he's in with Tanaka?' Matt asked. Puck felt Mike shrug.

'He's a big boy. Let him do what he wants.' Perhaps it was the way he said the words so harshly, but neither two offered a response.

'It's time,' Kurt whispered dramatically when the clock struck three-thirty. Rachel looked at the door with bated breath.

_Tic, tic, tic._

She had made a conscious decision not to mention anything about today to Puck. Rachel didn't want to make him think that she was coercing him into doing something that would make him miserable. Besides a large part of her had already decided that he was going to choose football. It made her feel slightly guilty whenever she thought about it. After all she had told him herself that everyone deserves a second chance.

'T-t-hey're not coming,'Tina said what all of them were thinking.

'Man, I thought those boys were our friends,' Mercedes commented, sounding put out.

'Hey! Look!' Brittany pointed towards the door. Footsteps and then Mike and Matt appeared, both looking like they weren't quite sure whether they would be welcomed or not. Brittany squealed loudly and launched herself at Mike, almost knocking him over. Rachel watched curiously as Santana made her way over to Matt and gave him a light hug.

_Where's Puck? Where's Finn?_

Rachel felt something she couldn't quite describe wash over her when she saw his shaved scalp. Her feet carried her towards him of their own free will.

'You do know what this means, don't you? Slushies, being at the bottom of the food chain? Open to public ridicule?' She didn't know why she was convincing him to change his mind. Puck smirked down at her and Rachel rubbed her palms against her skirt.

'Bring it.'

'Where's Finn?' Quinn demanded, when the tall, tall teenager didn't appear behind Puck. Rachel glanced around Puck, frowning.

_He chose football? _Rachel glanced at Puck, finding him looking at her. _Puck didn't._

She didn't know what that meant.

'We should do our mash ups,' Rachel made sure her voice carried across the room. Mr Schue didn't say anything. 'Mr Schue?'

'I don't think any of us feels up to a little friend competition Rachel,' the teacher sounded weary.

'We've all worked long and hard on this. It-'

_It'll make it easier to forget that Finn isn't here._

'Singing releases endorphins. Which will make us happy without the need for chemical stimulants,' Rachel pressed, trying to suppress the quaver in her voice.

'Bee is right. Don't worry Mr Schue, that boy couldn't dance anyways. He was all blues without the rhythm. We'll figure this out together,' Mercedes sounded so sure and confident that even Mr Schue had to smile. 'Let's bring the chocolate thunder.'

Mercedes, Kurt, Matt, Santana and Quinn performed a mix of Lady Gaga's "Poker Face" together with "Sweet Dreams" by the Eurythmics, and while Quinn looked somewhat subdued, she seemed to be sashaying and hitting the accents along with the rest of her group towards the end. Rachel turned to see Mr Schue and was relieved to see her favourite teacher with his gaze transfixed, a wide grin on his face.

_Good._

'I hope you're going to bring it!' Mercedes called out as they all got into their positions. Rachel and Puck stood behind the mikes, the girls and boys divided equally on either side. Mike and Brittany were on the outer edges. After attempts to chereograph a sutiable routine had ended up fairly disastrously, it had been decided that both teens would improvise. Artie and Puck held their guitars, while Tina and her crowded around one mike.

'Oh it's already been _brought_!' Mike pronounced, jutting his hip and snapping his fingers in the air, eliciting giggles from Rachel, Tina and Brittany. Rachel nodded towards Artie and he begun picking the strings, Rachel drawing a breath before beginning to sing.

**I walk a lonely road  
The only one that I have ever known  
Don't know where it goes  
But it's home to me and I walk alone**

Tina's voice blended together with hers on the last word before Puck came in, strumming his acoustic guitar.****

_**Today is gonna be the day  
That they're gonna throw it back to you**_

Rachel caught her cue, ignoring the way his eyes were drifting towards her. Brittany and Mike were pirouetting and bending each other in a kind of elegant dance._**  
**_**  
I walk this empty street  
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams  
Where the city sleeps  
And I'm the only one and I walk alone**

_**By now you should've somehow  
Realized what you gotta do**_**... ****I walk alone I walk alone****  
**_**I don't believe that anybody  
Feels the way I do**_**... ****I walk alone I walk alone about you now**

All their voices crescendoed together, building and building as Mike and Brittany seamlessly blended their own with the rest of them.****

**My shadow's the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
'Til then I walk alone'  
****  
****Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah**

Puck picked up his verse as they continued the mournful humming in the background.

_**Every day I wake up and it's Sunday  
Whatever's in my head won't go away  
The radio is playing all the usual  
And what's a wonderwall anyway  
**_**  
**_**Backbeat the word was on the street  
That the fire in your heart is out  
I'm sure you've heard it all before  
But you never really had a doubt  
I don't believe that anybody feels  
The way I do about you now**_

Why did he keep looking at her that way?****

I'm walking down the line  
That divides me somewhere in my mind  
On the border line  
Of the edge and where I walk alone  
_**Today is gonna be the day  
That they're gonna throw it back to you  
**_**  
Read between the lines  
What's f--d up and everything's alright  
Check my vital signs  
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone**

_**Today is gonna be the day  
That they're gonna throw it back to you**_**... ****I walk alone I walk alone****  
**_**By now you should've somehow  
Realized what you gotta do**_**... ****I walk alone I walk alone******

_**And all the roads we have to walk along are winding  
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding  
There are many things that I would  
Like to say to you  
I don't know how  
**_**  
I walk this empty street  
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams  
**_**  
Today is gonna be the day  
That they're gonna throw it back to you  
**_**  
I walk this empty street  
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams**

_**By now you should've somehow  
Realized what you gotta do  
**_**  
Where the city sleeps  
And I'm the only one and I walk a...**

_**Cuz maybe  
**_**  
****My shadow's the only one that walks beside me****... **_**saves me**_**  
****My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating****... **_**saves me**_**  
****Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me****... **_**saves me**_**  
****'Til then I walk alone'  
****  
****Sing with me (Sing!)  
Sing for the year (Sing it)  
Sing for the laughter sing for the tear (C'mon!)  
Sing it with me **

**Just for today  
Maybe tomorrow  
The good Lord will take you away...**

They let the last note pull and stretch, holding it and then slowly, ever so slowly, letting it devolve. There was a beat of silence as everyone looked at each other.

'I believe what Mercedes is trying to say is that you got served,' Puck's smug tone prompted a energetic denial from the black girl, Kurt holding court beside her. Quinn sat by herself on one of the chairs. Rachel thought of going over to talk to her but decided against it. Quinn's hormones made her less predictable and that was never a good thing, especially since she still seemed to hate Rachel.

'Rachel?' Mr Schue said from beside her. 'Thanks. For reminding me why I come to this school.'

'I'm glad you value our efforts Mr Schue,' Rachel replied, watching as Puck high-fived Artie and Santana giggled at something Matt said.

_Maybe some of our dreams have been broken, _she thought looking over at Quinn and then scanning her eyes over the rest of Glee. Puck averted his own when her gaze skimmed over him.

_But we've found each other. So we won't walk alone._

**a/n: so I suck at writing how they dance and perform their mash up. I think the message behind the song more than makes up for the utter lack of imagination I put into their performance.**

**The "Singing Key":**

**Rachel **

_**Puck**_

**Altogether**

**Oh both mash ups are available for download. Just type in MTV Mash Ups. And Puckleberry's mash up is called 'Boulevard of Broken Songs' by Green Day/Oasis. I was going to create my own but then I thought everyone would appreciate one's they could actually hear while reading instead of struggling to put the music together the way I did.**

**Since I posted two chapters I expect TWICE AS MANY REVIEWS ****evil laugh*******


	22. Chapter 22

'Beyonce, what the hell is _that_?' Puck asked, staring at the clear plastic raincoat Kurt had on. Heavy black stitching edged the lapels and collar, and Puck felt his smirk widening when he saw the slight teen reach for the tie around his waist and cinch it tighter.

'This is the latest from Peter Alexander. Usually I prefer my clothing to be more high-end but this was somewhat of a last minute fashion emergency,' Kurt informed him haughtily.

'Dude, it's a _raincoat_.'

Despite the fact that Kurt was shorter, he still managed to look down his nose at Puck when he spoke.

'Your defection to Glee has caused a monumental uproar in these hallowed halls,' Kurt twirled a finger around in the air; glancing at Puck as he fiddled with his hair in the mirror he kept attached to his locker door. 'Don't come crying into my shoulder pads when you get caught in the crossfire.'

'I'd like to see them try,' Puck growled. 'Besides, you were part of the football team Hummel.'

Puck saw Kurt roll his eyes in the mirror. 'As compelling as it is seeing you flex those adorable arms of yours, I doubt Rachel would appreciate it if-'

'What?' Puck asked, trying to appear confused. As if he cared what Rachel thought of him.

_Yeah, keep telling yourself that._

Fiddling with the loose change in his pockets, Puck leaned against the wall as Kurt closed his locker with a flick of the wrist.

'_Please_. Even you could not be that dense after all that eye sex,' Kurt said.

'There you are!' Both boys turned to see Rachel hurrying towards them in a pink poncho with white hearts splashed across in a geometrical pattern. 'Oh hello Puck,' Rachel greeted him somewhat shyly.

'Hey,' Puck said, resisting the urge to clear his throat when his nickname rolled off her tongue. He felt his palms getting sweaty and his senses go on high alert. As Rachel twisted to speak to Kurt, he caught a whiff of that flowery shampoo that she used.

'Did you inform the rest of the Glee members to don similar attire?' Rachel asked Kurt seriously, her face puckering.

'Fear not _cherie_,' Kurt replied, waving his hand. 'The troops are dressed for battle.'

'I don't rate a warning?' Puck interjected, snorting. Rachel blinked at him with her wide, wide eyes.

'Oh. I simply assumed that the three of you would be free from retaliation considering your relationship with the team,' Rachel stated. Puck raised an eyebrow, remembering the hostile glares a few of his former teammates had given him this morning.

'That Band of Brothers shit doesn't happen in Lima,' was all Puck would say in response. Rachel bit her lip and Puck watched fascinated as her lower lip plumped and then moistened into a nice pink. He felt himself licking his lips as well and Rachel's eyes found his.

'As wonderful as all this unresolved sexual tension is,' Kurt's dry voice made Rachel colour and Puck kick himself mentally, 'unless it's directed towards _moi_, I'd prefer if you took your bedroom eyes elsewhere.'

_What the fuck is wrong with you Puckerman? You're acting like you're thirteen and Sarah Marshall is taking her top off for the first time. You're a motherfucking Casanova that makes cougars cream their pants when you offer to unclog their plugs. Rachel Berry ain't anything special._

_Dude, she climbed through your window without shoes on. Obviously it's like God sending some kind of prophetic vision or some shit like that. Who are you to deny the Good Lord what he wants?_

_Seriously?_

'Noah?'

'Err what?' Puck blurted out, fluttering his lids and hearing the sounds of feet scuffing against cheap linoleum enter his ears. Rachel was looking up at him confused while Kurt had a smug expression on his face.

'I was simply asking if you were all right. You had your head in the clouds for a minute,' Rachel replied primly, fidgeting with her raincoat and making a crinkling noise. Puck cleared his throat, shrugging until he spotted the unmistakable gait of his (former) best friend heading towards them. His eyes narrowed in on the red and white cup Finn had grasped in his hands.

'What the fuck?' Puck whispered under his breath. Rachel followed his gaze and stepped around him to get a better look. Her tiny frame grew rigid and Kurt simply stood silent as a statue. Instinctively Puck reached out and tried to push Rachel behind him but she stood her ground, gently shaking her head. Gritting his teeth, Puck folded his arms across his chest when he saw Finn's face flash with surprise seeing him standing there.

Kurt adjusted the bandana he had tied around his neck, smoothing the hair behind his ears.

'What's up man?' Puck said ever so casually. Finn shifted his feet before drawing in a deep breath.

'Do it,' Kurt's voice was loud and clear. Finn swallowed.

'I really don't want to,' Finn said, 'I know how much product you use in your hair, and how you hate getting stuff on your face because it's like, sensitive...'

'Then don't do it,' Puck cut in, tone curt. Rachel placed a hand on his arm and Puck felt his muscles uncoil.

'I know you ain't goin' to slushie my man Kurt over there,' Mercedes announced behind Artie's chair, flanked by the rest of the original Glee club members.

'Why wouldn't he? He's made his choice. We're nothing but a bunch of _losers_ now,' Rachel's tone was derisive.

Puck glanced at Rachel out of the corner of his eye, taking in the thin set of her lips and hardened glare. He inched closer, feeling his arm brush against hers.

'You don't understand-'

'What? They said they were gonna kick the crap out of you?' Puck leaned forward as he spoke. Finn's grip on the cup tightened.

'You some kind of hero now huh?' Finn seemed to sneer.

'At least he doesn't let peer pressure sway his opinion,' Rachel said firmly.

'Word,' Artie added.

'Hey guys. What's going on?' Mike's voice sounded from beside Puck, the lanky Asian and Matt tightening the circle around Finn. Puck felt one end of his lips kick up.

_Looks like Saint Finn's halo's a bit rusty now._

Puck felt bad for a moment before brushing off the thought. He was sick and tired of everyone assuming that out of the two of them, Finn always ended up doing the right thing. Puck was simply the guy with the mohawk who big, dumb and freakishly nice chose to hang out with. Yeah, okay, he'd be the first to admit that he hadn't exactly done much to dispel his image as a douche. But clichéd as it sounds (and Puck swore he would never _ever _repeat these words out loud) Glee had shifted his worldview. While he hadn't exactly decided that he needed to, like, dedicate his life to the life of the cloth, Puck had had quite enough with going with the flow.

After all if these people who he had tortured saw something inside him that was enough to forgive, he couldn't be as _bad _as everyone else thought he was, could he?

'I _need _to do this,' Finn said, almost as if he was pleading.

'Let me decide for you,' was all Kurt said before Puck had time to react. The next thing everyone knew, the former kicker had grabbed the Big Quench from Finn's large, manhole sized hands and tossed it into his face. Rachel let out a horrified gasp as Puck, Mike and Matt took a hasty step back to avoid the flying bits of flavoured ice. Finn stood there, struck dumb, as Kurt pushed the empty cup into his grasp.

'Kurt-'

Kurt reached up and wiped the slush from his eyes, forcing open his gaze and fixing it squarely on Finn.

'I hope that one of your so-called friends would have done the same thing.'

'I'm…I'm sorry,' Finn gasped out, stumbling backwards. Tina moved to the side to let him around the corner.

Puck looked at Kurt, dripping in ice, that ridiculous raincoat he had on smeared with corn syrup and whatever else went into making those slushies.

'Kurt?' Rachel tried hesitantly, one hand outstretched towards his arm.

'Someone get me to a day spa. _Stat_!' Kurt barked out, holding his arms akimbo and flashing his eyes around dangerously. Clucking her tongue, Mercedes and Tina shepherded Kurt towards the girl's bathroom.

Rachel stared at the puddle of melting ice on the floor, feeling a pang in her chest. She couldn't believe that Finn would have even considered that it would be okay for him to slushie _anyone_. While the overtly tall teenager had never come right out and condemned the slushie ritual (_until_, Rachel thought bitterly, _Quinn got inducted_), Finn was one of those people who were too, well…he was just too _nice._

_He chose football. He chose football. He chose football._

She looked down the path Finn had disappeared, feeling as if something she had long held infallible had shattered somewhere. Rachel couldn't fathom what she thought she had lost, but for some reason it made her shoulders feel heavy.

_Finn was supposed to be a constant. He was supposed to show you that maybe sometimes people could change the way they see the world._

'Hey, you okay?' The warm palm on her shoulder was familiar and Rachel looked up into startling green eyes now shaded with a hint of brown.

_Then again, maybe Finn isn't the only one who could do that._

'I'm going to check on Kurt,' she said, avoiding the question. Puck seemed to realize this too but didn't call her on it. The other boys were preoccupied amongst themselves and for a fleeting moment she looked at Artie, Mike and Matt and felt a sense of pride. These people hadn't been afraid to show McKinley who they were, who they _really _were.

'Yeah,' Puck finally said after a long pause. 'Tell Beyonce at least that shit won't stain.' He scratched the back of his neck. Rachel yearned to feel that spot behind his neck. She wondered if it was soft or prickly – or maybe it was a mixture of the two?

'I'll be sure to pass that message along,' Rachel said with a weak smile.

'Cheer up Berry. I got your back or whatever,' Puck replied, focusing on a spot just above her right eyebrow.

'Thank you,' she answered, giving his hand a quick squeeze. Puck seemed startled by the contact, glancing down at their joined hands and then back at her. Then she felt a pressure on her fingers and her heart speeded up, just a tiny, _tiny _bit.

'Go hose Hummel down before he starts complaining about his T-zone.'

'How do you know what a T-zone is?' Rachel asked amused, disentangling her hand from his. Puck immediately shoved his hand into his pocket.

'You kidding me right? Have you heard that guy bitch after practice? Beyonce wouldn't shut the fuck up about it. Kept spraying some lime green bottle crap all over me and the rest of the guys.'

'How…trying,' Rachel said, trying to temper down the smile she could feel pulling at her lips. 'I'll see you at lunch.' She managed to make it into the girl's bathroom before giggling, slapping a hand over her mouth as she imagined Puck with a seaweed masque smeared all over his face with Kurt at his side saying something about open pores.

It wasn't that funny but maybe if she laughed hard enough she could forget that the boy who had held her heart wasn't who she thought he was, and the boy who had made her life a living hell possessed the most incredible bone structure she had ever seen.

Outside Puck narrowed his eyes as Matt puckered his lips.

'Are you going to ask her to go steady now?' Artie asked innocently as Mike grinned inanely.

Puck flipped them the bird and walked away, pulling his hand out of his pocket.

If he concentrated hard enough maybe he could imagine Rachel's hand in his.

And try not to freak the fuck out about how much he had liked it there.

**a/n: sorry for the late update. I don't really have an excuse except I was studying for my criminal law exam (which was stupid and retarded and I hope I passed) and then after I was just savouring the fact that I don't have to use my brain anymore until semester starts next year.**

**Oh, and I went to the beach and am now sunburnt. Ow.**

**But I'm back and here's hoping work doesn't run me ragged so I can update more often.**

**Enjoy and let me know what you think!**


	23. Chapter 23

Glee rehearsal was a subdued affair. The empty chair beside Quinn was loud, blaring the absence of its owner like a bullhorn. Rachel thought that it was admirable how everyone seemed willing to soldier on and forget the events of this morning.

It had been impossible to ignore the stares Finn had directed towards their table during lunch. Rachel could feel his brown eyes boring into the back of her skull the entire time she had been eating her Italian sausage, white bean and butter sauce penne. Puck had proved a sufficient distraction by attempting to steal some of it, and she wasn't quite sure whether it had been a deliberate effort on his part.

'Well guys, it seems we're a member short,' Mr Schue's voice broke Rachel out of her reverie. 'Any ideas?'

'We should hold an open casting call,' Kurt said, crossing his knees and jiggling his foot in the air. 'I, of course, will be Miss Jay, Runway Diva _Extraordinaire_.'

'Unless Nigel Barker is gonna be right there with you – because that boy is one _tall _glass of mocha latte that this sistah wouldn't mind sippin' - I ain't judgin' those fools that are gonna turn up and run our names into the ground. You heard what people have been sayin' in the halls right?' Mercedes cut in, tossing her hair over her shoulder.

'I'm sorry Mr Schue but no one's going to want to join us especially since Finn went all Judas on Glee,' Artie told their teacher, who leaned against the piano heavily in response.

'We're running out of options here,' the older man said, sweeping his eyes over the assembled members that were left. 'Sectionals is just around the corner and training someone new, with the choreography and lyrics-'

'Hey.'

Rachel sat up in her seat as Finn's tall frame filled the archway, backpack hitched high on his shoulder and knuckles clenched tight around the strap. Quinn was leaning forward half out of her seat, the sunglasses she had taken to wearing for some reason dangling on her fingertips.

'Finn,' Mr Schue seemed surprised to see the quarterback. 'Don't you have football practice?' The underlying accusation was hard to miss and Finn flinched at his words.

'I spoke to Coach and he said that I – _we _– could do both,' Finn said. Rachel met his eyes for a moment before it slid over to his girlfriend's face.

'Really?' Puck said skeptically, crossing his arms over his chest.

'Yeah. I said it wasn't fair that we had to choose between two things that we liked doing,' Finn fumbled, wilting slightly under the hostile glare Mercedes was sending his way.

'And he just caved?' Matt asked, raising an eyebrow.

Finn shrugged. 'He told me to tell you guys that practice is back to normal and that you can come back.'

'So throwing processed ice into my immaculate visage acted as a kind of epiphany?' Kurt's voice was droll. 'I'm honoured.'

'I'm sorry about this morning but I'm hoping that you'd let me come back,' Finn's voice lifted at the end, almost as if he was pleading. 'Mr Schue made me realize that Glee and football-'

'What makes you think we want you back?' Rachel's question made Finn pause and made everyone stare. Finn hunched his shoulders, glancing down at the floor. Puck watched as her fists balled at her sides and her back straightened while she sent a piercing, measuring look Finn's way.

'As far as I'm concerned, we need to consider the implications of your actions this morning. I fail to see why Mike, Matt and Puck could-'

'It's different for me!' Finn exclaimed, glancing at Quinn. 'I thought football would be a better way to get a scholarship so that I could raise my family.'

Rachel's mouth snapped shut and Puck thought he saw her knees shake. 'I apologize Mr Schue. My outburst was entirely inappropriate. This should be your decision as Director.' Rachel sat down and shrugged off the hand Brittany put on her shoulder. Puck kept her in his line of vision, seeing Finn fidget uncomfortably as an uneasy silence fell over the room.

'As much as I want to put this to a vote, I think I'm going to have to pull rank. We need someone who knows the routines for Sectionals so I'm letting Finn back in.' Puck scowled as Finn gave a sloppy grin. '_But_ Finn, I'm going to let the club decide what to do with you. If they decide they don't want you as the lead, you're going to have to accept that.'

Finn's smile fell off.

'Mr Schue can I say somethin'?' Mercedes asked, raising her hand.

'Go ahead Mercedes.'

The black teenager planted her hands on her hips, jutting her head forward aggressively. Finn took a small step back. Puck didn't blame him one bit.

'Listen up white boy, I'm resistin' the urge to go all Mike Larry on ya because your baby needs a daddy. But if you think you're gonna waltz all up in here and act as if we're pals after the stunt you pulled this mornin', you got another thing comin'.'

'I know. I'm…I'm willing to earn everything back,' Finn replied soberly, his eyes flickering towards Rachel for the barest of seconds. It was enough to put matching frowns on both Quinn and Puck's features.

'I think that Puck should be the new male lead,' Rachel cut in. Finn's eyes dimmed.

'What?' Puck heard his voice rise.

'He has a lower register and the mash up we performed showcased how well our voices go together. Of course he has yet to hit the high B that is required but I am more than happy to aid Puck in this endeavour,' Rachel stated matter-of-factly.

'They certainly possess the chemistry needed,' Kurt commented off hand. Puck was still staring at Rachel as if she had grown a second head.

'What the fuck do you think you're doing Berry?' Puck hissed into her ear. Rachel angled her head closer to him, whispering the words out of the corner of her mouth.

'You are more than adequate to be the male lead Puck. Now hush.'

Puck heard the confidence behind her voice, how it didn't waver when she said those words. Slanting his gaze towards Finn, he caught the wounded expression on the quarterback's face.

'Everybody for Puck being the lead?' Artie asked, raising his hand. Puck wasn't surprised when neither Santana or Quinn held their hands up but it filled him with something warm to see everyone else with their palms spread wide in the air.

'Okay. Puck, you think you can handle it?' Mr Schue asked.

'I'm a stud Mr Schue. I can handle anything,' Puck said, trying to appear nonchalant. Mercedes rolled her eyes while Mike and Matt exchanged secretive smirks at their friend's blasé attitude.

'So what do you guys want me to do?' Finn questioned, sounding small.

'There's a spot open for backup singer number three,' Mercedes told him, pausing. 'Actually you're so big you can be swayin' prop number four too.'

'So long as he doesn't divert attention away from my ensembles,' Kurt saw fit to add, uncrossing his knees and folding his fingers somewhat regally.

'The tribe has spoken,' Artie said, nodding his head.

Mr Schue hid a smile as he clapped Finn on the back. 'Go take a seat Finn. How about we take five and then regroup? I actually have some good news for you guys.'

Rachel was up and out like a shot, brushing past Finn. Puck felt his torso lean forward, watching as her pleated skirt kicked up with her long, hasty strides.

_Just go after her. Chicks like it when guys are all concerned and shit._

_She's gonna want to talk about her _feelings_ dude. What the fuck do I do then?_

_Noah Puckerman scared of a midget._

_Man, Rachel would make Gimli the Dwarf cower in those fucking caves under Moria. _

'Dude, just go after her. You look constipated,' Mike told him, punching him in the arm. Puck scowled his way but decided to get up and follow after Rachel, if only to escape the knowing grin on Mike's face.

_Shit, what do I got interested tattooed on my forehead?_

Except Puck didn't know _what _exactly about Rachel Berry made him feel whatever the hell he was feeling. Yeah he could totally acknowledge the lust those illegally short skirts and extremely long legs inspired. Who wouldn't be turned on by that killer combo? But there were other things that he was starting to notice about her, little things that Puck was sure he couldn't have cared less about before. Like how she worried her lip or pulled at her clothes when she was nervous. Or how she had never heard of Rock Band before (this had actually made Puck speechless because _dude_, it was like one of the most kick ass games _ever_ created). Or how she could always see the good in people, no matter how much of an asshole they had been to her before.

Rachel was on her way back in when he reached the doors. Her head was down and he thought he saw her swipe at her eyes. His stomach twisted up in a sailor's knot as she drew closer.

'Am I late?' She asked, seeing his scuffed Chuck Taylors.

'Nah,' Puck started, wondering why the hell he felt so nervous. They were just talking. 'I just came to check up on you. You bolted outta there pretty fast.'

'I just needed to use the facilities,' Rachel answered. Puck lifted an eyebrow.

'You really need to work on your acting skills if you want that big, gold statue,' Puck told her, relaxing his shoulders.

'My performance for Cabaret was impeccable,' she replied a bit haughtily. Puck nodded his head. They both stood there awkwardly.

'Do you want me to be the lead to stick it to Finn?' Puck asked the question that had been niggling him since her proclamation. Rachel furrowed her brow.

'I don't say things I don't mean Puck. However if you feel that you are not up to-'

'Are you questioning my badassness?' Puck demanded.

'Of course not. But it appears you are,' Rachel retorted.

'I'm a fucking legend,' Puck told her flatly.

'I have to admit that hurting Finn played a small part,' her words made him unconsciously flex the tendons in his knuckles. 'I'm not usually so petty.' Rachel sounded ashamed.

'_Please_. You're a girl.'

'What is _that _supposed to mean?'

'Dude, you miss a right turn and you get that held over your head _forever_.'

'That's simply because men don't feel the need to ask for directions.'

'We're fucking _hunters_. We have, like, inbuilt GPS.'

'Well apparently evolution has corrupted the software if you _still_ managed to miss that turn,' Rachel told him tartly. They stared at each other before Rachel giggled and Puck shook his head. Mr Schue's voice sounded behind them.

'We better go in,' Rachel said, pointing towards the choir room. Puck stepped aside to let her through first, earning him a soft, genuine smile from Rachel.

_Oh crap. I think I'm in like with Rachel Berry._


	24. Chapter 24

'How exactly is gettin' our pride stomped all over again _good_?' Mercedes grumbled behind Rachel, referring to the news Mr Schue had shared with them yesterday.

'This is stupid,' Puck added beside her. Rachel shot him a quelling look as the ticket line inched slowly forward.

'Obviously Mr Schue felt that by observing our competition, we would be able to glean information on any weaknesses they might have.'

'These guys ain't even at Sectionals,' Mercedes countered.

'This isn't how I wanted to spend my Friday,' was all Puck said in response.

'You're sulking,' Rachel stated flatly, unimpressed. Her fingers were knotted together and she pushed her thumbs together, twisting her hands this way and that to try and ease some of the anxiety she could feel building up.

'I'm _voicing my displeasure_,' Puck corrected her. 'And what the hell is wrong with you? You've been going to town on those since we left school.' He glanced down at her bleached knuckles pointedly. Rachel quickly disentangled her fingers, smoothing them down her skirt.

'I'm just excited,' she replied, trying to ignore the fact that Finn was almost right behind her.

The tall quarterback had barely said a word to her these past few days and Rachel wasn't quite sure how she felt about that. On the one hand she was glad because now Finn knew what it was like to take certain people for granted (_not her_, she told herself firmly). But another part, one that was slowly eating away at her like a cancer, just felt really, _really _bad for him. It must have been difficult for him, weighing the implications of loosing a chance at a scholarship and having to consider the impact that would have on his relationship with Quinn and the baby. Rachel got it. She wasn't as self-absorbed as everyone assumed she was. She understood that Finn would never be hers, and that she would never really belong with Finn. Quinn needed him and that was that.

Rachel wasn't Angelina Jolie.

'What?' She asked, noticing that Puck was still staring at her.

'Nothing,' was his quick reply. Rachel frowned. Puck had been acting strange lately, little things that seemed, well, _odd_. He kept showing up unexpectedly around school, just _happening _to be there. He'd make it a point to sit next to her during Glee and lunch. And for some reason he had insisted that she ride along with him in his truck, though the silence that had pervaded the trip had just left Rachel feeling confused about why he wanted her there in the first place.

_Downright non-linear._

Once they had gathered their ticket stubs, Mr Schue shepherded them into the front row. Ms Pillsbury sat beside him awkwardly and Rachel wondered if Coach Tanaka knew where his fiancée was. Rachel highly doubted it.

'Alright guys, I know East High isn't going to be at Sectionals,' Mr Schue had said that Thursday, clapping his hands together. 'But I think that seeing a group of kids your age, singing and dancing just because they like doing it, might inspire some new material from all of you.'

Puck slumped down next to her, crossing his arms with a reticent expression on his face.

'Honestly Puck, can't you at least _pretend _that you enjoy expanding your cultural horizons?'

'Bite me Rachel.'

As the lights dimmed and the curtains rose, Rachel elbowed Puck sharply in the ribs before staring straight ahead at the stage. Puck mumbled something under his breath too low for her to hear.

Rachel had always known that music was what she wanted to do. She remembered sitting on Daddy's lap, listening to Yiruma's "River Flows In You" and watching the peaceful expression on her father's face. It made her realize that music could heal, could inspire, and the idea drew her in like a moth to a flame. She begged and received ballet, tap, tango and vocal lessons. The proud looks her fathers would bestow upon her made excelling at the craft even more satisfying. Sometimes she would dream of a vast audience standing on their feet and the rapturous applause they were giving her swelling the opera house or hall, the spotlight on her back as she gave them a deep bow.

So when Rachel saw how invested, how much the people on stage seemed to _care _about the songs they were singing, the steps they executed – well, who could blame her for being enraptured?

'Oh that was absolutely brilliant!' Puck heard Rachel say in a reverent whisper as the cast came on stage and took a bow, people clapping and whistling. He saw one of the leads glance over their way and wondered what he was looking at.

'I'm sure we'll get the full "60 Minutes" expose later. But right now would you mind moving?'

Rachel gave an exasperated huff and got to her feet, glancing over her shoulder as she maneuvered out of the row of seats.

'Did you at least enjoy it a little bit?'

'We just saw something called _High School Musical _by a bunch of people who actually go to _high school_. How the hell they even managed to move tickets is what I wanna know,' Puck pointed out.

'You're insufferable,' Rachel told him.

'_Gracias_,' Puck said, saluting her with two fingers. Rachel rolled her eyes.

'I for one thought the male lead was completely divine,' Kurt interjected.

'Oooh the one with the blonde hair and incredible blue eyes?' Brittany asked, clasping her hands together and swooning. Puck smirked, watching Mike frown at the blonde's words.

'That scrawny white boy had _nothin' _on that slab of dark chocolate with the corn rows,' Mercedes retorted, waving her hands around her head.

'Did anyone actually notice anything besides that?' Mr Schue's plaintive plea was hard to miss.

'They were fine, but they ain't all _that_,' Mercedes offered.

'I l-l-liked the song they did at the end,' Tina said.

'Dude, that was such a _chick _song!' Matt protested.

The crowd outside the auditorium had thinned. Mr Schue told them, using a somewhat weary tone, to reflect on what they had seen and think of something new to bring to the table. Ms Pillsbury had stood by him, eyes wide and sneaking looks at their curly-haired teacher before they both departed after receiving promises from all of them that they would go straight home.

Finn looked slightly awkward as he hung in the background. Finally Quinn tugged on his arm and then they departed, Santana tagging along with them into Finn's beat up blue Volvo.

'I guess I'll see you guys-'

'Do you want to go shopping tomorrow?' Brittany's question was completely unexpected. Rachel blinked before looking cautiously at the taller girl.

'If you value your life, say no,' Mike told her seriously. Brittany sent him an unamused look before linking her arm with Rachel's.

'Let's do a girls day!' The Dutch cheerleader said, catching the eye of the rest of the female members.

'I do enjoy a good marathon. Consider me interested,' Kurt answered, Mercedes and Tina shrugging their shoulders.

'Cool! I'll call you with the details in the morning Rach! Let's go boys. I have curfew.' Brittany grasped Mike and Matt's arms, dragging them along as both much larger males attempted to give them decent waves before disappearing out the door.

_Did she just ask to be seen in public with me?_

'I suppose I'll see you tomorrow then,' Rachel directed towards Kurt and the girls.

'Excuse me!'

They all turned around to see the male lead from the play brandishing a program and jogging towards their little group. As he came nearer, Rachel was alarmed to note that he was heading in her direction.

'I think you dropped this…' He trailed off, looking directly at Rachel. Refusing to allow the blood she could feel rushing to her cheeks make an appearance, she tamped down the urge to grab the hem of her blouse.

'Rachel.' She sighed internally, grateful her voice hadn't come out high or squeaky.

'I'm James. Maybe I'll see you around?' Rachel nodded mutely as he pressed the program into her hands, unable to tell him that she it wasn't even hers.

'Oh _hell _no!' Mercedes exclaimed, glancing from the stiff piece of paper in Rachel's hands and back towards James. Puck leaned over and something inside of him grew hot when he saw a number scrawled in blue ink.

'Girl, you got his _digits_!'

'I did?' Rachel said in response to Mercedes proclamation, feeling her eyes stretch when she found out her friend was right. 'I did,' she repeated in disbelief. She looked up. 'What do I do?'

Kurt looked at her as if she had just asked him who Alexander McQueen was. 'You call him.'

'I do?'

'Honey, did you see his hair? He wears _product_,' Kurt said, grasping her shoulders.

'Break out the full string orchestra,' Puck said sarcastically, reaching for Rachel's arm. 'I got places to be so you girls can braid each others hair some other time.'

Rachel looked over her shoulder as Puck practically dragged her towards his truck, the rest heading towards Kurt's Navigator and Artie's van.

'What is _wrong _with you?' Rachel demanded, attempting to free herself from Puck's grip. It was neither bruising or strong but the fingers he had around her bicep were firm.

'Nothing,' Puck shot back, opening the passenger door and practically forcing her into the cab.

'Clearly you're mistaken,' Rachel told him, flinching when the door slammed shut and rattled the frame.

Puck clambered in, twisting the key in the ignition and backing out of the lot. His arm dangled across her back and Rachel was aware of the fingers that bumped against the exposed skin of her neck.

'You're being rude and uncouth.'

'Whatever,' Puck mumbled, easing onto the main road.

He hadn't liked how that pretty surfer boy had looked at Rachel. And he especially didn't like the way Rachel had looked right back at James.

_Fuck. Chicks man._


	25. Chapter 25

Rachel sat outside the Starbucks at the mall, chewing her lip. The green tea she had ordered was cooling off in front of her and she swallowed some of it, wincing at the watered down taste left on her tongue.

_Deep breath. Remember what Brittany said. Pretend that this is just a casual meeting between friends._

_You don't even know him._

_Which is why I'm meeting him for coffee. So we can discover any potential interests we might have in common, aside from the obvious love of music we both share._

_And then what?_

Rachel drew a blank.

'**You haven't been on a date before?' Brittany had asked, truly aghast. 'But…you're **_**sixteen**_**.'**

**Embarrassment warred with hurt as Rachel struggled to remind herself that these people were her friends. **

'**Boys have just never exhibited any kind of romantic interest in me. I believe that my ambition and superior intellect prove too much for them to handle.'**

'**So you're scary?' Brittany questioned. Rachel swallowed. **

'**But what about Puck?'**

**Rachel blinked. 'What about Puck?' She repeated, confused.**

'**Well…' Brittany looked at Kurt, who was perched on the edge of Rachel's bed. 'I mean, can't you tell?'**

**Rachel wrinkled her nose. 'I'm afraid I still don't understand.'**

'**Kurt?' The blonde prompted, looking towards Kurt pleadingly. Kurt arched a brow and wondered whether he should get a manicure at the mall.**

'**Call James **_**cherie**_**,' Kurt finally said, narrowing his eyes when he saw how truly horrendous his cuticles were. Brittany gaped, marching over to him and hissing into his ear as Rachel looked on confounded.**

'**We have to tell her!' **

'_**Puck **_**needs to. Right now, Rachel is viewing his affections with eyes wide shut. If James is what it takes to force them wide open, so be it,' Kurt informed her softly, lifting his shoulder. **

'**It'll, like, drive Puck **_**insane**_**.'**

'**Exactly my lithe Grecian goddess. Exactly.'**

Rachel didn't know what Kurt had said to Brittany, but the next thing she knew her cell was being pushed into her hands with James' number already entered in on speed dial. Brittany and Kurt had hung onto every word when she had finally mustered up the courage to dial the number. Rachel had half expected it to be a disconnected line but had been surprised when James had picked up and been genuinely _happy _to hear from her. After she had stammered her way through the pleasantries, James had casually suggested that perhaps they should do something tomorrow. Kurt had been sipping the cappuccino Daddy had brewed for him and she had blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

So here she was on a coffee date. Rachel hated coffee.

The dark denim and white embellished silk kaftan Rachel had purchased this morning during the shopping trip with Brittany and the rest were starting to feel restrictive. What if he didn't show up? What if she said something stupid and he suddenly realized that he didn't even know why he was with her in the first place?

'Hey,' the low timbre broke her line of thought and she found herself looking up into blue, blue eyes framed with long, long lashes. 'Sorry if I kept you waiting.'

'Oh no,' Rachel hastily assured him, not knowing whether she was supposed to kiss him on the cheek or shake his hand. He solved that problem by sticking out his right palm.

'Just so we can get the official introductions out of the way,' he began, smiling. 'I'm James Garland. I go to East High and I'm currently a senior.'

'I'm Rachel Berry,' she answered shyly, sliding her hand into his and gently pumping it up and down. 'I attend William McKinley High and I am a sophomore.'

'I'll just go grab my coffee and be right back,' he told her. 'Did you want anything?'

Rachel glanced down at her green tea. 'I would appreciate another green tea.' She reached for her purse but stopped at when James spoke.

'I got it,' he said. 'Be right back.'

_He paid for my drink._

She handled the hot cup nervously as James pushed a straw into the whipped cream piled high on top of his coffee.

'What exactly is _that_?'

'A caramel mochiatto,' James told her seriously.

'It appears to be a weapon of mass destruction for diabetics,' Rachel informed him. 'Shouldn't you be taking care of your voice considering that you're the lead in a moderately successful play?'

James seemed to be shocked for a minute and Rachel panicked.

'I'm sorry. I have been told that I am somewhat abrasive and-'

He chuckled, leaning back in his chair and giving her a lop-sided smile. She noticed he had dimples.

_Oh my._

'It's okay. I've just never met anyone quite like you before.'

'Oh,' Rachel said, glancing to the side. 'Is that a good thing?'

'Yeah,' the warmth in his tone made her stomach curl. 'It is.'

They spent the remainder of their time together simply talking. Rachel was surprised to learn that she actually liked listening to him speak. She enjoyed the way his eyes lit up, the way his hands gesticulated in the air as he aimed to illustrate a particular point. He didn't ridicule her when she hesitantly told him of her dream to win an Emmy (or Tony, Grammy, VMA, Oscar, Golden Globe and Teen Choice Award – _because it was important to be well-received by every demographic_) or of her desire to leave behind Lima for something far greater. He told her about how his father had wanted him to be _just _a basketball player, of the older man's disappointment when James had instead wanted to try out for the musical. She mentioned that she had two fathers, and instead of looking at her as if she had landed from outer space (because that's just what people did when they found out she didn't have a _normal _family) he simply accepted it as par for the course.

'Sorry guys, but we're closing,' the barista said, a dishrag over his shoulder. Rachel looked around surprised, seeing the chairs stacked upside down on the tables.

'Thanks man,' James said, pulling out Rachel's chair. She gave him a grateful smile and thanked the barista for his service. Slinging the chain mail bag Kurt had forced her into buying, she peeked at James nervously out of the corner of her eye.

'Do you need me to walk you to your car?'

Rachel shook her head. 'I was going to call a friend of mine to pick me up.'

'I'll drive you home. It's no problem,' James spoke over her when she tried to protest.

'I probably live on the other side of Lima,' she joked, grasping the clasp of her bag.

'Rachel, I _want _to drive you home. Besides I'm a gentleman and I can't just leave a beautiful woman like you alone,' he replied with a wink. Rachel was ashamed to say that all she could do was blush and walk by his side mutely.

Inside the car, he let her pick a station. She swiveled the dial this way and that and finally settled on an alternative station.

'You like Billy Boy On Poison?' James asked, surprised.

'I enjoy the guitar riffs. Don't you feel it's almost primal in nature, the way it's so hard and forceful?' She said, startled that she had even offered her opinion so freely. While she was usually extremely vocal about the song selections in Glee, she wasn't quite sure if the others actually listened. These days, she only spoke up when asked directly.

'How do you feel about the Bravery?' He posed instead and Rachel willingly spent the rest of the car ride playfully teasing James when she discovered he knew the lyrics to a Britney Spears song.

'That house right there,' she finally said, pointing to the neat two-storey a few feet away. James coasted to a stop, shifting the car into park. Rachel saw that her fathers had left the light on the front porch on for her.

'So I had a good time,' James told her, rubbing his thumb against his finger.

'I had a good time too,' she replied honestly.

'Thanks for coming, and not thinking that I was crazy,' he joked, looking at her.

'Thank you for even asking, though I'm not sure how you noticed me from the stage.'

'How could I _not _notice you?' He said the words with such conviction that it made her curl her fingers into the palm of her hand.

'Goodnight,' was all she could manage.

_Should I?_

She gave in and leaned across the gear stick, pressing her lips to his cheek. James fluttered his lids and Rachel could feel the blood heating her face as he parroted her word, a smile slowly stretching across his face. She gracefully got out of his car and waved from the front porch. Stepping inside, she heard him start his car and drive off.

'How was the movie with Kurt and Brittany sweetheart?' Her Dad's voice sounded from the kitchen. She turned her head, unable to hide the grin she knew was threatening to overtake her features.

'It was perfect,' she replied, floating up the stairs.

Locking the door to her bedroom, Rachel collapsed onto her bed and hugged a pillow to her chest. Her head felt slightly giddy and she licked her lips, wondering if the flavour that lingered on after was what James tasted like. She giggled.

_You went out on a date. Your first date. And it was magical._

Rachel remembered the way his hair fell ever so neatly across his forehead, how it looked so textured and made you want to run your hands through it. She had never really taken the time to categorize a particular feature that she liked about James, but his hair was right up there.

Kurt was right. Product was _everything_.

Rachel pressed her face into her duvet, lips still turned upward. Her phone buzzed and she grabbed it.

**Just got home. Had a great time. Maybe we should do this again?**

_He wants to see me _again_?_

Rachel stared at James' text, incredulous. Her fingers hesitated over the keypad of her Blackberry.

_Girl this boy is all up on you! Don't trip on me. Just tell him you dig his concentration and you can't wait for his demonstration!_

Rachel contemplated why her inner voice sounded very much like Mercedes.

Mind made up, she quickly sent James a reply.

It was time, Rachel decided, for taking chances.

That night she dreamed of James and when she looked into his eyes, they were green.

**a/n: Okay, don't hate! But I think Rachel needs to experience someone other than Puck to further her emotional development and not get caught up in the whole Babygate thing right away. Plus, it'll drive Puckerman crazy. I'm all for the Puckleberry so chillax. **

**Google Bradley James if you want to know what James' lustilicious hair looks like. He plays Arthur on Merlin. Seriously, his hair? I die.  
**

**And if any of you haven't gone and downloaded "Yesterday" and "He Said, She Said" by NLT (of which Kevin McHale – or Artie as we know him – is a member), you **_**should**_**.**

**Oh and the song on the radio is "On My Way" by Billy Boy On Poison.**

**AND NO NEW EPS OF GLEE UNTIL APRIL 2010? WTFZOMGWWBD?**

**To close my rant, my sister has informed me that she doesn't deign to read fanfics without reviews that are over a thousand. And she doesn't believe that I have fans (okay, so I exaggerated a bit when I told her this but whatever. It's my **_**sister **_**[who I hope is reading this and realizing HOW WRONG YOU ARE]). Thus ends my little rant.**

**Enjoy.**


	26. Chapter 26

Puck had known today was going to be crap.

He'd slept through his alarm this morning, which had resulted in the fastest shower known to mankind and a hasty breakfast of a strawberry poptart (which were a favourite of his sister's but which Puck found extremely revolting). The radio in his car had locked up again and the air-conditioning had decided that it had had enough. When he'd pulled up into the parking lot, five minutes past the warning bell, his hands were cold and Puck had almost cracked his skull open after slipping on a puddle of water.

So when he heard Rachel had gone out with James, he hadn't taken it too well.

'_What_?' Puck demanded, staring at Kurt. The boy in question tugged on his terrycloth robe and ran a hand through his fringe, fingers sliding the pieces of hair into place.

'He said Rachel and James had coffee,' Mike told him helpfully. They were in the boys locker room after football practice and while usually it made Puck slightly uncomfortable to parade around in front of Kurt with nothing but a towel (as far as Puck was concerned, seeing his ripped abdomen could potentially, like, displace Kurt's infatuation with Finn onto his bronzed shoulers or some shit like that), this time Puck was more concerned with the fact that the girl he was in like with had been with another dude.

'_Coffee? _He took her out for _coffee_?' Puck spat out.

'Puck, man, your face is getting _really _red,' Matt said, tugging on his jeans.

Kurt winged up an eyebrow, reaching into his toiletries bag and extracting a tube of green lotion that he smeared liberally all over his face.

'Does this information distress you?' Kurt inquired, somewhat innocently. Mike snorted.

'So what did our girl have to say?' Matt asked after pulling his t-shirt over his head.

'Dude, _that's _why she's looked like she was on vitamin D today!' Mike exclaimed and then swiveled around to face Puck. 'Looks like Puck's got a little competition.'

Puck gritted his teeth as Kurt's eyes widened incredulously.

'Shut the fuck up Chang,' Puck scowled, stomping over to his locker.

'_Really_?' For some reason Puck could tell Kurt wasn't all that surprised by this revelation. 'Is there something you would like to share with us lesser mortals?'

'Get bent,' was all Puck said, savagely throwing on his clothes.

'Should have asked her out sooner. You know, grown a pair?' Mike said sagely.

'So is James her boyfriend or something?' Matt's question to Kurt made Puck angle his head towards the bench.

'_Cherie _hasn't provided me with a label for her…relationship with James.' Puck was going to wipe that smirk off of Hummel's face. 'But I do know that they _are _seeing each other again.'

'Huh,' Mike replied, tapping his chin. 'So Puck needs to do something soon before Rachel goes all The Perfect Man on tall, blonde and manely.'

'_Puck _is still in the damn room,' Puck chewed out, slamming his locker close with a loud bang. 'I knew there was something shifty about that guy.'

'Yeah. He thought Rachel was hot,' Mike deadpanned and Matt laughed.

'_Fuck. _Rachel Berry makes me want to light myself on fire-'

'Among other things,' Mike pointed out. Puck continued, ignoring him.

'And just when I had an epiphany of, like, fucking biblical proportions this shit happens?'

'An epiphany? Do tell,' Kurt pounced. Puck froze, remembering that he had an audience.

'I don't do chick flick moments Beyonce.'

'He's in love with Rachel,' Matt told Kurt, trying to be helpful.

'_What? _Hell no!' Puck protested. 'I admit that there is some kind of attraction there-'

'We could power a small Midwestern state with all that charged unresolved sexual energy between you and Miss Bee,' Kurt said as an aside.

Puck realized that James was an unknown variable in his equation. After the play on Friday, he had decided that Rachel needed to be seduced. Not the tame wooing he reserved for pliant high school girls. For some reason, he was sure Rachel needed his A game. He wanted to see her swoon, go weak in the knees and _beg _him to lay one on her. Because that's what cougars demanded and all the other girls wanted.

But, from the looks of things, pretty boy had usurped him by using _coffee_.

'If your intentions are anything but honourable, I suggest that you leave Rachel alone,' Kurt's voice made Puck blink. The effeminate boy looked dead serious. 'Right now, you're the boy who used to throw slushies at her. James sincerely likes her for herself. While our little Diva does try to act tough, we all know that's about as real as Mariah's nose.'

'I'm not Finn,' Puck retorted.

_What about Quinn and the baby? You really think Rachel wants to shackle herself to that kind of baggage?_

_She's still mooning over Finn right? Even after she found out that Finn was the father?_

_Puckerman, she asked you to be the lead. The Finn ship has sailed._

He spent the rest of Glee that afternoon mainly watching Rachel. There was something different about her and Puck realized that she looked genuinely _happy_, like someone had dusted pixie dust over her head and face. His chest squeezed when he saw this and he couldn't decide what he wanted to do.

'Puck?' Brittany asked from his side. 'Are you okay?'

'Yeah,' he tried to sound dismissive, pretending to be intently listening to what Mr Schue was saying.

'Right,' Brittany sounded skeptical. 'I guess you heard about James?'

'Dude, _seriously_.'

Brittany was biting her lip and sucking her cheeks in, looking at him as if she was deciding whether or not she should tell him whatever she wanted to tell him. Finally she let out a sigh and glanced over at Rachel, who was whispering something to Tina.

'I know you like her.' Puck glared. 'Like, you're stuck in some weird form of denial but I get it. Rachel, on the other hand, doesn't. She's kind of scary smart when it comes to musicals and stuff but when it comes to boys...'

Puck exhaled a breath because he _really _didn't want to be having this conversation with anyone, let alone the Dutch cheerleader who wasn't known to be the sharpest crayon in the box (Puck was still rooting for Finn on that one).

'Look I know you're all badass and that I should totally be, like, quaking in my high tops-' Puck narrowed his eyes, because was Brittany being _sarcastic_? '- but James is a nice guy who doesn't really know Rachel as this girl who gets slushied or laughed at.'

The weirdest feeling of déjà vu was creeping over him.

'I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't know _how _you see Rachel, but she isn't one of your "roll em, and leave em" girlfriends,' her eyes flickered pointedly over to Santana. 'Rachel's kinda special, you know? So maybe just _really _know what you want before you go all Black Eyed Peas and phunk with her heart.'

Shit, what was it with people and counseling him on his feelings? So yeah, he'd admit that if he'd asked Rachel out, _coffee _wouldn't have been the first thing that would have come to mind. Actually, Puck wasn't really sure what a first date with Rachel would be like. Would they do dinner and a movie? She'd probably pick some glorified, estrogen-filled musical that would make his ears bleed and suggest that they go vegan or something weird like that.

Puck drummed his fingers against the chair, jumping to his feet when Mr Schue dismissed them. He watched as Rachel gathered her things, noticed the knowing looks Kurt and Brittany sent his way.

'Hey. You need a ride?' Puck asked offhandedly, scratching the back of his head.

'Oh that's okay Puck. James and I have plans,' Rachel told him brightly, completely oblivious to the dark pinch of Puck's features upon hearing her words.

'James huh?'

'Yes,' Rachel was giving him a weird look so Puck attempted to smooth his expression. 'From the play Friday night.'

'Yeah, I remember who he is,' Puck muttered, following Rachel out the door. 'So, I heard you guys hung out.'

'It was a _date_,' Rachel seemed offended.

'Whatever. He bought you coffee.'

'Green tea actually.'

'So you like this guy?' Puck pushed. Rachel's forehead creased.

'Well yes I suppose,' Rachel answered hesitantly. 'He seems to-'

'Like you?'

The stormy look on Rachel's face was all the warning he received before she lashed out at him.

'It may come as a complete shock to the people at this school, but I am actually a _girl_. Which means that there are boys - who don't have pregnant girlfriends or who post highly fictitious and _creepy _things on their blogs about me - who are aware of this fact. All the things that everyone has ridiculed me for James finds _fascinating_. He doesn't care about the fact that I want to sing every solo, and he doesn't see anything wrong with the idea that I could possibly be the understudy to Maria in _A West Side Story_.'

Puck glanced down at his shoes and then back at her, quiet. Rachel tried to rein herself in, squaring her shoulders and expelling an audible breath.

'As my friend, I thought that you would be happy for me,' she said softly. Puck swallowed.

_Fuck. Can't say I'm happy – because I'm not. _

_Just tell her. Tell her now._

A car horn beeped and they both turned to see James behind the wheel. Puck flexed his hands.

'Well, I suppose I'll see you tomorrow,' Rachel said, offering him a tight smile. She dragged her little pink bag after her.

'Hey Rach?'

She turned.

_I'm in like with you._

'Have fun,' he told her weakly. He didn't really mean it and he couldn't tell if she knew that.

Hands shoved in his pockets, Puck watched as they disappeared past the gates.

_Dude, you suck._

Running a hand through his shaved scalp, Puck couldn't agree more.


	27. Chapter 27

James had held her hand yesterday. They had been in line to buy tickets to the five o'clock showing of "2012" (contrary to popular opinion, Rachel rather enjoyed seeing things get blown up) and there had been a brush against her fingers. The next thing she knew, James had twined his hand through hers. They had both pretended that nothing out of the ordinary had happened but Rachel couldn't resist the smile that had remained on her face. When he had dropped her home, this time _he _had given _her _a kiss on the cheek.

Walking through the corridors the next day at school, Rachel thought her steps were lighter and that everything – Finn, Quinn, the baby, life – just seemed more _sunny_. She caught sight of Puck a few lockers down and her pace faltered before picking up again. Her day was not going to be ruined because Noah Puckerman could not find it the least bit feasible that there was a boy out there who liked her for herself, flaws and all. Mr Schue had told her one day that there would be someone who would like the things that she wanted to change about herself (and this was surprising because she considered herself an expert on all things Rachel Berry and if there was one thing that received the most scrutiny in her dissection, it was all the things people told her were wrong about herself).

But James, she thought with a dreamy sigh, didn't seem to _care_.

Puck's eyes caught hers and Rachel nodded curtly before sweeping by him gracefully. A loud _bang _resonated behind her before she heard his voice.

'Hey Rachel, wait up!'

_Remember, he extended the olive branch first. It would be detrimental to the rules of negotiation if you ignored such formalities._

'Good morning Puck,' she greeted him, keeping her tone neutral. Puck leaned his head to the side, his backpack slung over his shoulder. She noticed that his red letterman's jacket wasn't present today and tried to ignore the way the long-sleeved green shirt he was wearing clearly outlined his pectorals.

'Listen, about yesterday-'

'My outburst was uncalled for,' Rachel interrupted him, not really wanting to here Puck try to formulate a proper apology. Puck seemed to study her, his eyes tracing her nose, mouth and chin before sweeping back up again.

'Look,' he finally said, drawing her to a more secluded part of the hallway. A few people cast them curious glances but quickly averted their eyes when they caught the dark glare Puck sent their way.

'I haven't really had a lot of girls who are friends. So like when you want to talk about your…_feelings _and shit like that, it ain't kosher. You know what I'm saying?'

'I don't understand,' Rachel said, scrunching up her nose. 'Weren't you friends with the girls you had relationships with?'

'You mean Santana?' Puck looked incredulous. 'Trust me, it was way better when she shut up.'

Rachel simply stared. 'So you mean to tell me that you never had a conversation with them _at all_?'

Puck looked uncomfortable at her words. 'I didn't come here to get shrinked by the Love Guru alright? I'm just saying that…that I'm not shocked or anything that James has the hots for you.'

'You aren't?' Rachel replied faintly, wondering how she had lost control of this conversation. Puck seemed to waver before looking at her square in the eyes.

'Yeah, Rachel. You're cool,' Puck answered, shrugging his shoulders and glancing to the side. Rachel beamed. 'Despite the obvious overcompensation in the diva department.'

She frowned.

'I suppose in some twisted way that is a compliment?'

'Whatever Berry. I don't do sonnets. You want chapter and verse, go make pretty boy write you some.'

'His name is _James_.'

'I know what his name is.'

Rachel sighed and finally noticed the baseball bat Puck had grasped in his hand.

'What on earth are you doing carrying that around?'

Puck hefted the bat and shoved it towards her. Rachel curled her fingers around the wood, feeling the warmth Puck had left behind from his palm.

'Mace ain't going to cut it,' was all he said, smirking and waving at her as he pivoted on his heel. Rachel stared after him, remembering how he had mentioned off-hand on one of her visits during his suspension that she needed something a bit more substantial to defend herself with against potential intruders. Rachel had dryly suggested that he provide her with the best solution, to which he had agreed.

_I thought he was merely making conversation_, she thought spinning the bat against the linoleum.

The rest of the day had Puck semi-panicking whether Rachel had read between the lines of what he had told her and about the bat. In Puck's opinion, _you're cool _was about the lamest thing he had ever said to a girl in his short seventeen years. He hadn't even told Quinn that before they had done the horizontal mambo (granted they had both been pretty wasted at the time). Puck had fully intended to throw down the gauntlet this morning, to let Rachel know that he was more than aware of the fact that she was a member of the opposite sex.

But he had taken one look at the way she lifted her lips and remembered Brit's words from yesterday. Puck knew that he was in like with her – he had watched enough of Gossip Girl to realize this (shut up. He only endured it because of his sister and because that Blair chick was a total babe). She was Jewish, which meant his mother was going to love her more than she already did. And the way she had looked at him when he had given her the Louisville slugger – half-amazed, half-grateful in that unique way of hers that made something warm curl around his belly – made Puck appreciate just how _different _Rachel was to all the other girls he had ever been with.

_Including Quinn._

Leaning back in his chair during Glee, aware that Rachel kept shooting him what she thought were covert looks, Puck felt his gaze settle on the former head cheerleader's stomach. It still looked flat but Puck thought if you concentrated enough, the beginnings of a bump were starting to become visible. Right now Quinn looked haggard and Puck wondered whether he should talk to her. He had heard about how her parents had kicked her out, how she was staying in Finn's basement until the quarterback and Quinn could decide what to do. The shadows under Quinn's eyes made Puck frown and he shifted his eyes over towards his best friend (whom he still hadn't really had a decent conversation with since Tanaka's pink slip challenge) and was somewhat mollified to see the worry etched clearly across Finn's face. One of his freakishly large hands was stroking down Quinn's back and for a fleeting moment Puck envied him the ability to touch Quinn. It wasn't because he was still in love with Quinn (at least, what he felt about Rachel made him seriously consider that assumption) but because Finn got to go to the ultrasounds, got to put his hand on her belly and marvel at the fact that his daughter was inside…

_Drizzle_, Puck snorted remembering the name Finn had come up with. _Like hell. My kid is going to be too awesome to be named after fucking precipitation._

_Is it really your kid? Quinn sure as hell doesn't want you near the zygote. Dude, I've got to stop watching Discovery. Damn shark week._

Puck thinned his lips, feeling his teeth grind against each other.

He _hated _how he was going to be made the bad guy no matter how Babygate turned out. He had knocked up his best friend's girl, which was a douche move no matter which angle you looked at it. And no one was going to believe that he'd offered to look after the kid the _second _he had found out about the pregnancy. After all, as far as people were concerned, Finn was the father. Puck was just his jackass best friend. So all in all, things weren't looking so hot on his end.

_You need to tell him. He's your best friend._

_Yeah, but what about Quinn?_

_What _about _Quinn? Honestly Noah Puckerman, if you insist on carrying on about the injustice of this entire situation, perhaps you should _do _something about it._

_Holy shit. When the fuck did my conscience sound like Rachel?_

'Puck? Dude.' Mike's sharp poke to his bicep snapped him out of his thoughts.

'What?' Puck blurted out, looking around and seeing Quinn give Finn a disgusted look before storming out. Following Puck's gaze, Mike shook his head.

'Quinn just ripped into Finn for being a bad provider,' the Asian boy said with a muted sigh. 'She probably has Bills, Bills, Bills on repeat.'

'Yeah?' Puck murmured.

_Here's your chance. Offer to help her. Show her that you're not useless._

'Are you spacing out again?' Mike demanded. Puck pulled his eyes away from Finn's wounded expression.

'The hell are you looking at me for Chang?'

'With that pretty face?' Mike drawled. 'How could anyone resist?'

Feeling something on the back of his neck, Puck twisted his head and met Rachel's stare. Her cheeks coloured instantly and Puck smirked, looking back and seeing Mike raise an eyebrow.

'Huh.'

'What?' Puck asked, irritated. He crossed his arms over his chest and Mike splayed his palms wide.

'Nothing,' Mike said in a way that clearly implied _something_. Puck glowered.

'Seriously man, you gave her a _baseball bat_?'

Puck blinked, confused.

'_Normal _guys give girls they like flowers. Not something they can use to bludgeon someone to death,' Mike informed him.

'Whatever,' Puck retorted shortly, slumping down into his seat.

'She was carrying it around all day. Saw her threaten that Israel guy with it,' Mike carried on, clearly amused.

'Jacob? The one with the Jewfro? What the hell did he do?'

Mike shrugged. 'I was only there for the finale. Whatever it was called for assault with a deadly weapon with a side of diva-tude.'

Puck frowned, remembering Rachel's prior interactions with Jacob.

_Gotta get the 4-1-1 on that situation_, Puck promised himself.

When Glee was over Puck heard Kurt offer Rachel a ride home.

Despite the fact that Quinn was still being an Ice Queen, at least Puck could go home without going on all Mr Brightside with the knowledge that Rachel was with James.

Flicking on the radio, he groaned hearing Frente filter through his tinny speakers.

**There's no sense in telling me  
The wisdom of a fool won't set you free  
But that's the way that it goes  
And it's what nobody knows  
And every day my confusion grows  
Every time I see you falling  
I get down on my knees and pray  
I'm waiting for the final moment  
You say the words that I can't say**

Being stuck in a bizarre love triangle wasn't enough for Noah Puckerman. No, he was pretty sure it had morphed into some kind of twisted pentagon (or hexagon if you included the baby).

Resisting the urge to bang his head against the steering wheel, Puck caught sight of Rachel and Kurt across the parking lot. Rachel was cradling the bat he had given her close to her chest, as if it were something precious.

_So maybe there's some hope for you yet Puckerman._

**a/n: tsch. No one picked up my Puckleberry clue in chapter 25! Or if you did, no one mentioned it.**

**And I seriously wasn't aware I could write sexual tension, nevermind the fact that it's got a few of you all hot and bothered.**

**And KUDOS to Demonic Angel Clone for giving me a shout out in her fic! Like that seriously made my day – I was all jumpy and hyper and people were looking at me like I was crazy(er).**

**But yes, Kiss(dot)Me(dot)Pink's BabyMama Drama challenge is heating up mahoosively! I doubt I'll win because seriously, the competition is like **_**fierce**_**. But ****IF**** I do get into the top three, I would love if people who dig "Riding In Cars With Boys" (shameless plug) would vote for it. Will keep you posted.**

**And (if you're still reading this mindless a/n, I applaude you) I so, **_**so **_**desperately crave to write a Supernatural fic. But a wee bit apprehensive considering how…heavy the show's trended towards. If anyone wants to suggest, co-write or whatever, let me know!**

**Until then, enjoy!**


	28. Chapter 28

'We need to raise money for the bus ride. Artie's a part of the team as well, and I'm sure he'd appreciate it if all of you realize just how much of a challenge it is for him,' Mr Schue had said during Glee. Everyone had glanced at each other, the guilt evident on their faces. Rachel herself was ashamed to admit that she had never really paid that much attention to the fact that Artie was handicapped. Artie himself was just always so cheerful, so _normal _that sometimes the fact that he wheeled himself around escaped your attention.

'And I also have a song I think we can use for Sectionals,' Mr Schue had tacked on, passing around sheet music. Rachel had taken one look at the title and beamed.

'I have an entire ipod dedicated to the songs from _Wicked_,' Kurt said seriously. Rachel turned to face him.

'_Defying Gravity _is my go-to shower song.'

'Alright. Rachel, you think you can handle it?' Mr Schue asked her. Rachel had nodded her head, ecstatic. She hadn't expected Kurt to raise a hand.

'I'd like a chance at this solo Mr Schue. After all, didn't you say that Glee was a chance for _everyone _to shine?'

Rachel had looked at Kurt, mouth half-open and listening to everyone in Glee voice their approval at the kicker's suggestion, and felt like he was committing some kind of betrayal. Mr Schue had announced a diva-off for Thursday and Rachel had left rehearsal in a daze.

'Kurt?' She had called. The boy held himself in a pose that would make Tyra Banks proud.

'Don't take it personally _cherie_, but you're not the only one who has dreams.'

It was sobering and she had mulled over his words the rest of the day. Puck had asked her if she was alright and Rachel had given him a tight smile before remembering what had transpired the day before.

'Thank you. For the bat,' she murmured. Puck had rubbed the back of his neck, eyes skipping away.

'It was nothing,' was all he would say on that matter, brushing her off as he wandered towards the football field.

'Do you think I'm selfish?' Rachel blurted out later that night. James paused, the slice of pizza in his hand drooping towards the plate.

'Where did that come from?' His blue eyes widened and for some reason Rachel wondered if he was the right person to ask. She knew that Puck would be honest with her, would offer her the truth unvarnished.

'It's just…someone said something to me today and I was seeking an unbiased opinion.'

James laughed. 'Rach, you're my _girlfriend_. I think I'm going to be pretty-'

'Did you just label our relationship?' Rachel interrupted him faintly, latching onto that one word.

He ran a hand through his blonde hair, one side of his mouth lifting upwards in a self-conscious grin. 'Well, I mean, we see each other pretty much everyday. And I think you're cool-'

_You're cool_, Puck had told her with his green eyes serious and Rachel felt a bit light-headed.

'And I really like you,' James told her, reaching for her hand. It felt warm and pleasant. Safe.

'I really like you too,' she replied, meaning every word. He was staring at her, leaning closer, angling his face. Rachel held her breath. His lips touched hers, slightly chapped and tasting like tomato, cheese and oregano. It was chaste, sweet.

_Where were the fireworks? The electricity?_

Rachel smiled back softly at him.

_It'll come._

Tuesday Rachel sought Puck out.

'Do you think I'm selfish?'

Puck raised an eyebrow. 'You pretty much expect every solo to be handed to you on a silver platter.'

'So yes?'

Leaning against the wall, Puck looked down at her. 'Is this 'cause of your diva-off?' He shook his head when Rachel didn't say anything. 'Look, Hummel got one thing right. Show choir isn't for people who don't play well with others. You spouted off all that shit about group unity during the mash up right? So suck it up and practice what you preach.'

Puck watched as Rachel frowned before thanking him curtly and flouncing off in that prissy way that meant she was sorta mad. What? Had she expected him to sugarcoat the truth?

He went in search of Quinn, finding her in the home ec room surrounded by bowls and flour.

'What are you doing?' He asked incredulously.

'Baking,' Quinn replied shortly. 'Considering the bake sale is Friday, I thought Mr Schue would appreciate it if we actually had something to sell.'

'When the hell did you go all Betty Crocker on my ass?'

'Did you _want _something Puck?' Quinn asked him, and there was no mistaking the faint note of distaste in her voice. In fact, Puck was getting kind of tired of it. Pulling out the envelope he'd carried around all day he handed it over to her.

'What's this for?' She held out a few of the bills.

'I heard what you said to Finn. I can get more but…just take it alright? It'll help out with the doctor's bills and stuff.'

'I don't want it,' she was shoving the money back haphazardly and pressing it against his chest. Puck gritted his teeth.

'Why do you have to make things so fucking difficult Quinn?'

For a split second Puck saw the scared, vulnerable girl he knew was hiding behind the façade. The sadness, the tired lines pulling across her face, the heavy set of her shoulders. But he blinked and it was gone.

'I don't care if the baby comes out with a mohawk. I'm going to go to my grave swearing that the baby is Finn's.'

It felt like a sucker punch to the gut and Puck was sure Quinn meant it to be. Feeling his forehead crease, clenching his jaw, Puck all but slammed the envelope down on the table. A cloud of flour dusted the surface and the left tackle wiped his fingers against his jeans.

'You do that. But sooner or later the truth is going to come out, and Finn may not _want _to be around. Keep calling me a Lima loser all you want but _take a look around _Dorothy. This isn't fucking Kansas anymore. Finn doesn't have a job so this,' he jabbed his finger against the envelope, 'it may not be much but at least it's a start. You can't get rid of me Quinn, because like it or not it takes two to tango.' He glanced down meaningfully at her stomach. 'And I sure as hell ain't leaving before this dance is over.'

He'd left her, resisting the urge to look back and see if she'd taken the money. He'd offered it as a peace offering, a way to maybe build some bridges and show Quinn that he _wanted _to be around, that he was _willing _to be more than the spectator she'd made him into. She barely looked at him Wednesday and when Thursday came around, Puck noticed Rachel seated on the piano bench.

'What's up?' He asked her. She tore her gaze away from the ebony and ivory keys.

'Oh hello Noah,' she said as if she had just realized that he was there.

'You all set for the throwdown?'

Rachel let out a ragged sigh, eyes once again fixed on the piano. One slender finger brushed against the keys, light enough not to emit a sound.

'I consulted with James after speaking with you on Tuesday.'

'_Consult_? What? Do you run a Fortune 500 company on the side or something?' Puck muttered under his breath, trying to ignore the way his muscles would tense whenever Rachel mentioned James.

Rachel spoke as if she hadn't heard him. 'You're both right. Besides, as much as I like to believe that Glee has become a place where I can be accepted for who I am, it's a known fact that Kurt wins the popularity vote hands down.'

'What the hell? Are you actually expecting me to buy into this pity party?' Puck frowned. Rachel's eyes flashed.

'I'm doing no such thing. I'm going to Mr Schue and telling him that Kurt can have the solo.'

Puck snorted because _really_, Rachel had to make everything into an episode of the _Bold and the Beautiful _didn't she?

'Kurt was the one who threw down the gauntlet. Don't flake out on him because you want to play the martyr. Go out there and stomp the yard. Hummel wouldn't expect anything less,' Puck told her.

_When the hell did you turn into a pansy?_

Thankfully Mr Schue clapped his hands. Rachel bit her lip and Puck patted her awkwardly on the shoulder before seating himself in the back. Rachel went first and Puck tried not to show how her delivery of the song affected him. He shifted in his chair ever so slightly. Mike leaned over and whispered whether it would be cost effective to bottle Rachel's singing as Viagra.

Asshole.

Kurt went next and Puck was amazed. He'd never really heard Kurt sing before and hearing the emotion, naked on his face for all to see, infusing the words made something stick in his throat. When it came to the high F, Kurt faltered. Puck winced and looked over to see how Rachel was taking it. Instead of looking pleased when Mr Schue awarded her the solo, the petite girl was giving Kurt a measuring look which the kicker was avoiding. Hanging back as everyone filed out of the room, Puck ducked behind the door to the choir room just as Rachel grabbed Kurt's hand.

'Why did you do that?'

'Do what?' Kurt's voice sounded like someone had tried to strangle him. The boy cleared his throat.

'You deliberately threw that note!' There was no missing the accusation in Rachel's tone.

Kurt expelled a heavy breath. 'You got your solo. Isn't that what you wanted?'

Rachel appeared stung. 'No Kurt. You were right. It was wrong of me to expect something just because I think it belongs to me. But, most important of all, I consider you a friend.' She reached out a hand and settled it on Kurt's forearm. Puck felt like he was invading on something private, intimate.

There was a pregnant pause before Kurt spoke again.

'Someone called my father. This song is supposed to be for a woman, and they took offense that I wanted to sing it. Dad can't handle it. It's not right that he should.'

Rachel's face softened. 'Oh Kurt-'

'_Don't_,' Kurt said vehemently, jerking away from Rachel's touch. 'Just…don't.'

Rachel nodded her head, her brown gaze flickering around before settling on Kurt again.

'While it may not be the same thing, one point of attack that has been especially popular amongst our peers against me is that fact that I have two fathers. And sometimes, when we go out as a family, I can see people looking. Dad and Daddy pretend that it doesn't bother them, but it does.'

Kurt heard the underlying apology in her words and offered up a half-smile.

'This song is originally a duet, isn't it?' Rachel said. 'Perhaps we could suggest to Mr Schue that it would be best performed that way as well.'

'_Cherie_-'

'Kurt, you've defied gravity already. You're not afraid to show everyone who you are. But this time let me rewrite the rules with you.'

Puck couldn't see Kurt's face but the back of his head bobbed downwards.

'But until I try, I'll never know?' Puck recognized the words from the song.

Rachel smiled, full and warm and _knowing_. 'Exactly.'

Puck didn't hear the rest, digging his hands into his pockets and heading towards his truck. There were times he didn't know why Rachel Berry fascinated him so much.

Glancing over his shoulder, the words exchanged between Rachel and Kurt burned into his mind, Puck thinks he knows why.


	29. Chapter 29

Rachel pulled at the sign, making sure the wind wouldn't carry it off. The Glee club had positioned their bake sale in the school parking lot next to the thoroughfare (after much persuasion from Rachel about the good economic sense behind such a move). The Cheerios were gathered behind the table, the money box arranged in front of Quinn. The cupcakes and cookies that they had managed to scrounge up were on display, though Puck had sequestered a special table for his baked goods. When Rachel had asked him why, he'd simply said that he'd received special requests. It was the tone he used that made Rachel sure she didn't want the details.

'Mike! Would you _please _watch where you're going?' Rachel exclaimed in exasperation as the tall Asian boy almost ran over her foot. He flashed her a cheeky grin and cried out a hasty apology before trying to catch up with Matt. Mr Schue had requisitioned a few wheelchairs for them, saying how it would be a good experience for them to truly walk around in Artie's shoes. Or wheels, Rachel thought, as she rolled herself towards the main table.

'Isn't this exciting?' Rachel tried to inject some kind of enthusiasm into Santana and Quinn's faces. Brittany always looked perky and the Dutch girl greeted Rachel with a smile.

'We didn't sell one cupcake during lunch Man Hands,' Quinn replied tightly, ignoring the tired sigh Finn gave at her words. 'So unless you have six hundred dollars stashed somewhere in your opera house-'

Rachel slid her gaze over to Finn and saw his eyes fixed on his shoes. Rachel had entertained the idea before that the dashing male lead would swoop in and defend his leading lady from the cruel and spiteful comments – that had quickly faded away after a few days.

'Quit it Fabray. Keep the hormones in check. We don't want to scare away the customers,' Puck called casually from his table.

'Dude,' Finn's voice held a note of warning and Rachel refused to feel hurt.

'We'll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar Quinn,' Rachel said with a haughty jaunt of her nose and wheeled away before the blonde could reply. Her offer of friendship had been brushed aside, it seemed, but Rachel was confident that sooner or later Quinn would realize that Glee was all she had.

_If the roles were reversed, you know I'd torture you._

Rachel knew she would. But that didn't mean that she had to be Quinn.

'What exactly are those?' Rachel asked, her chair bumping into Puck's. 'Sorry.' She reached out for a cupcake and felt Puck's hand close over hers. It felt like someone had tasered her.

'Trust me Rachel,' Puck's voice was low. 'You don't want one of those.'

'Why?' She was proud to say her tone didn't waver. His hand was still there and she could feel the calloused pads of his fingers against her skin.

'They're special,' was all he said before releasing her.

_James doesn't feel that way._

'Special?' Rachel pressed, pushing that thought to the side. Suddenly narrowing her eyes, she leaned forward and made sure Mr Schue wasn't within hearing range.

'Did you put illegal substances into those cupcakes?' She hissed.

_He doesn't even have the decency to look guilty!_

Puck shrugged. 'You want Artie on that bus or not?'

'Of course I do! But I'm sure we can accomplish it without committing a felony!'

'Chillax Berry,' Puck drawled.

'How did you even acquire…it?' Rachel asked, curious. Puck's smirk made his features more sharp and his eyes seemed to flash in the sunlight. 'On second thought, if we get arrested I would like to rely on plausible deniability.'

Puck rolled his eyes. Spotting someone jogging their way, he lifted a hand in greeting. Rachel watched, pressing her lips together, as a fellow student purchased one of Puck's cupcakes. After he left, Puck waved the five-dollar bill in the air as if to make a point.

The next hour saw the cupcakes on Puck's table dwindle. Kurt had positioned himself beside her as they watched Puck collect money with a grin.

'I didn't realize the next Martha Stewart would be, well, a Martin,' Kurt remarked, amazed. The Cheerios were shooting Puck dirty looks while Finn appeared to have dozed off.

_Well, his business venture could certainly make him an ex-con_.

She didn't say this aloud though, merely nodding at Kurt and making a noncommittal sound in the back of her throat.

'My, my. Looks like you have a visitor,' Kurt gestured behind her. Rachel twisted around and saw her boyfriend making his way towards their booth.

Puck tidied the money the captain of the hockey team had just pushed into his hands, his lips turned upward as he tallied the total. Five hundred big ones – thank god Mike and Matt had been good for something. No way he could have managed to bake all those cupcakes without them.

'Dude,' Puck growled when Mike's chair sent his body jerking to the side. 'What the-'

'Look who rolled up,' his friend said and Puck glanced to the side. Rachel was tilting her head up, laughing, as James pushed her towards the Cheerios. Finn was watching Rachel as well, Puck noted sourly.

'-so incredibly glad you came out here to support me,' Rachel chirped and it was then that Puck noticed people trickling in behind James.

'Anything for my girl right?' James replied and Rachel coloured.

'_You're _dating Man Hands?' Santana's question made Rachel tense, Puck could see. James frowned at the Latina.

'What did you call her?'

'James-' Rachel laid a restraining hand on the boy's arm. James looked down at her, his brow knitting together.

'I'll take ten cupcakes,' James said through gritted teeth. Santana looked mildly chastised and Quinn didn't say a word as Brittany arranged his purchase neatly into one of the star-patterned cardboard boxes Rachel had brought along with her.

'Thank you.' Though his tone was polite, even Puck could sense the underlying irritation in James' voice. A few of the people that followed appeared hesitant but after a nod of his head, they queued up after James started pushing Rachel away.

'James, really, it's okay.'

'No Rachel. She had no right to call you that,' James replied through clenched teeth. Rachel sighed and Puck felt guilty.

'I'm not the most popular girl in McKinley. It's only because they-'

'_Don't _make excuses. I can't believe you just _sat there _and _took it_-'

There was no mistaking the anger in Rachel's voice when she spoke. 'I'm not. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't make such assumptions without knowing the whole story.'

'Rach,' James appeared to realize he had made some kind of mistake.

_Good. Guys that pretty shouldn't be so fucking perfect as well. Bastard._

'Why didn't you tell me?' James' question almost got lost in the wind. Puck pretended to count the money as the pair drew closer. Mike snatched a few bills and did the same.

'It's not something I want to advertise,' Rachel replied. Her shoulders were hunched defensively and her fingers tightened around the edges of the cardboard box. There was a beat of silence, the crunch of wheel against gravel, as Puck cast his eyes upwards towards Rachel's face as she passed by. Her mouth was drawn downwards, her eyes shuttered and half-lidded.

'I wouldn't have thought any less of you. I _don't_,' James insisted, breathing the words into Rachel's ear. The knuckles of Rachel's hands became less white as she handed the box of baked goods to James. The tips of his blonde hair blew slightly in the wind.

'Thank you for coming here,' Rachel's words held a hint of finality about them. James' Adam's apple bobbed before the boy nodded his head.

'I'll call you tonight.'

'Okay.' The smile Rachel gave was tight. James gave her one last look before walking away. Rachel eased herself off the chair and hurried off towards the football field, brushing off Kurt's concern.

'Here. Count these,' Puck shoved the rest of the money towards Mike and leapt out of his chair.

'Mr Schue said-'

'Bite me Chang!' Puck called out, jogging after Rachel and missing the looks Quinn and Finn were giving him.

He found Rachel in the fourth row, brown hair swaying in the soft breeze. Her shoulders weren't shaking so Puck was caught off guard when he spotted the tear tracks on her cheeks when he finally seated himself next to her.

_Fuck. What do I say?_

Puck swallowed and tamped down the urge to clear his throat. Cautiously he laid a hand on her shoulder and suddenly found Rachel pressed against him, barely audible sobs heard as she buried her head into his collarbone. He mimicked what he would do for his little sister whenever she had a bad dream. Cupping the back of Rachel's head he smoothed one hand down the length of her spine, pausing every now and again to rub soothing circles on the small of her back. He pressed his cheek against her hair and felt strands of her hair stick to his lip.

Then she was looking up at him, brown eyes red-rimmed but no longer glassy.

'You okay?' Puck felt like an idiot because, no shit Sherlock, she _wasn't_. Rachel gave him a watery smile and he relaxed. Her eyelashes brushed against his chin. He was leaning down, fingers curling as she licked her lips. Just a little closer and-

_You already stole your best friend's girl. You really want to be _that guy_ Puckerman?_

The thought was like a slap to the face. Jerking his face back, he gently disentangled Rachel from his arms, trying to not let the alarm he could feel inside bleed onto his face. He thought he saw something like disappointment flash across Rachel features but soon the petite girl was staring straight ahead at the football field. Puck sat silently beside her, steepling his fingers together and dangling them between his knees.

_Better to resist temptation._

Time passed, maybe a few minutes Puck didn't know, before Rachel shifted.

'We should get back,' she said.

'Yeah,' Puck replied. 'Mr Schue is probably gonna kill us for ditching the wheels.'

Rachel laughed weakly in response and Puck felt like he'd accomplished what he came to do.

'C'mon,' he splayed his palm out towards her after getting to his feet. Rachel grasped it loosely, her eyes shooting to him before skipping towards the field again.

_She's someone else's girl. Kiss her and you'll feel good, more than good. But then she's going to realize that she fucked things up with her boyfriend and you're gonna get labeled the jackass who screwed things over. _

His mind flashed back to Quinn, the thinly veiled hate in her eyes whenever they spoke. Shaking his head, Puck fingered the hole in his pockets as they made their way back towards the booth.

_I don't think I could take it if Rachel looked at me like that._

**a/n: shameless plug but PLEASE, PLEASE go take a look at my Supernatural fics "Over the Edge of the Burning Sun" and "Worship at the Altar" and review? Pretty please? For updating so fast? i think they are pretty decent.**

**and i am kinda appalled at how they made Puck out to be in "Hairography". i mean _puh-lease_. talk about one extreme to the next. one minute he's all sweet and wanting to be there for her and the next he's telling Quinn only if she puts out? no way jose!  
**


	30. Chapter 30

Rachel swore that Puck had been about to kiss her. And what scared her was that she would have _let _him.

Those were not the kind of thoughts a girl in a committed relationship should have.

So she'd panicked.

James had called her that night, of course, and the distance she had put between them was obvious. James had tried to remain patient but towards the end of their conversation, she had caught a distinct note of impatience. It had made her feel guilty, if only for a moment, but it was the dream she had later that night that had prompted her to seek expert advice.

'There you are,' Rachel exclaimed, latching onto Kurt's arm. The other boy arched an eyebrow and looked pointedly down at her grip on his jacket. With a sheepish look on her face, Rachel smoothed away the wrinkles her hold had left behind.

'Is there something I can help you with _cherie_?' Kurt drawled. Rachel fidgeted, her eyes flitting around like a hummingbird before she leaned closer.

'Meet me in the choir room.'

Kurt found her bouncing her knee overzealously.

'Spill,' was all he said.

'I had a dream,' Rachel blurted out. Kurt laid a hand on her knee. She bounced her feet up and down.

'You're hyper. And anxious,' Kurt said somewhat cautiously. 'Did Mr Schue let his crazy wife deal again?'

'I had just finished my encore of "Tonight" in my Tony-award winning stint of _A West Side Story_, when I looked into the crowd for my significant other.' Rachel glanced to the side to see Kurt watching her closely. 'Naturally, I assumed James would be there because he is my boyfriend. But instead…'

'Instead?' Kurt prompted when Rachel didn't continue.

'I've read somewhere that dreams manifest your innermost desires, things that-'

'_Who _did you see?' There was something in Kurt's tone that made Rachel shoot him a searching look.

'Puck.'

'As in Tall, Dark and Mohawk? The Puckerone of Steel _Puck_?'

'You're not surprised,' Rachel stated flatly, taking in Kurt's put-upon look of surprise.

'No, of course not. Unlike most people that troll these halls, I have a keen sense of perception.'

'You gossip.'

'Acquiring intelligence is a method of survival my dear. Just read Sun Tzu.'

'_Why _did I see Puck?' Rachel demanded, springing to her feet. 'Maybe it was because we shared an intense emotional experience prior. That must be it. Transference.'

Kurt's words dimmed the triumphant air surrounding Rachel. 'It's because you like Puck.'

'No. I like James.'

'Honey, trust me. The way you and Puck look at each other? It's the way Maria looked at Tony, the way Chuck Bass devours Blair.'

'You're wrong. James doesn't mind that I'm-'

'Why didn't you tell him about how things are at school?' Kurt's voice was gentle. Rachel felt herself stiffen, remembering how James had asked the same thing last night. She repeated the words she had told her boyfriend.

'Because _it's humiliating_! I have a huge nose and my looks are mediocre at best. I'm the girl with the great personality. How could I tell the one boy whose exhibited any kind of interest at me that there are pornographic pictures of me all over the walls of the girl's bathroom?' Rachel all but shouted, her hands cutting through the air. 'I was afraid that…I was afraid that he'd pity me, or worse…that'd he hate me like they do.'

'Rachel,' Kurt sounded vehement. 'Quit being such a runway diva. If you insist on going all OC on me and adopting that self-pitying attitude that Marissa showed, then consider this a reality check. You are far from grotesque. Sure, that wardrobe needs a complete Extreme Makeover and perhaps you could dial down the 'tude now and again. But these people who slushie you and throw me in the dumpster? They'll be working for us extremely soon.'

'James-'

'You know I love you _cherie_, but James isn't the one for you. While Noah Puckerman leaves much to be desired at times, one thing that I can say with certainty is that his personality has gotten a much-needed facelift. And a side-effect of that surgery has been his Berry keen interest in you.'

'That's absurd!' Rachel pointed out, jabbing a finger towards Kurt. 'All that hairspray you've inhaled has obviously affected your neurological-'

'Please Rachel. You _must _have noticed how Puck has devoted his undivided attention towards you.'

She had dismissed the signs – the _always there_, the looks, the need to be around her.

'We're friends,' Rachel replied weakly.

'So were Monica and Chandler,' Kurt shot back.

Rachel looked down at her hand, remembering the way it had tingled after Puck had held it and how it had simply felt warm when James had twined his fingers through hers. How sometimes she would feel light-headed whenever Puck's eyes would track down her features and how James' gaze made her feel…made her feel…

'_Oh. My. God_,' Rachel breathed, crumpling into the hard plastic chair with an audible _thump_. 'Sweet Emmy, Oscar and Globe.'

Kurt didn't say anything, merely hummed.

'What do I _do_?' Rachel suddenly asked, grabbing Kurt's hands and squeezing. 'I've never been in this situation before. Of course, I need to know for certain that my feelings for-'

Kurt snorted. 'Trust me on this darling. Everyone knows this Michael Guerin wants his DeLuca. You can sniff all the cedar oil to deny it, but you Maria? You want him too.'

'I need to _know_,' Rachel insisted. A smile slowly stretched across her face. 'Kurt, I need you to give me a makeover.'

'I thought you'd never ask,' Kurt said, but inside he knew this was the only way for Rachel to realize that Puck didn't like her for what she was on the outside (well, he was a heterosexual teenage male and Kurt knew they thought about sex if they were alive) but for what was on the inside.

Because Rachel Berry, Kurt thought that day after they had whirled through the mall and he had waxed her brows and done her hair, was truly an acquired taste.

'Good morning Puck,' Kurt greeted Puck cheerfully. Puck frowned at the lanky teen. A happy Kurt was never a good thing. The last time he had been this happy, the entire football team had found themselves booked into a day spa after Coach was convinced that healthy skin translated into success. Puck shuddered.

'Hummel,' Puck answered warily.

'You can thank me later,' Kurt said with a wave of his hand as he disappeared around the corner.

_Thank him? What the hell should I be-_

All coherent thought came to a screeching, grinding halt. A girl was walking down the hall, her hips sashaying from side to side. The platforms on her feet emphasized nicely tone calves and Puck took in the skirt that ended an inch above the knee with appreciation. The corset emphasized what he thought was a pretty decent décolletage. Silver earrings dripped from her ears and Puck licked his lips when he settled upon plump, full ones tinted just the barest shade of red. Brown hair, softly waved, slid around her shoulders and collarbone like liquid silk.

'Hello Noah,' a low, husky voice breathed.

'Rachel,' Puck stammered hoarsely. 'You look…you look…'

'I was wondering if you wanted to come over tonight to work on the duet Mr Schue assigned to us?'

Puck had nodded dumbly. Later that night he rang the bell. Hearing her call for him to come in, he frowned when he realized that she had left the front door unlocked.

'Fucking hell Berry,' Puck threw over his shoulder as he locked the deadbolt into place and slid the chain closed (after realizing that her fathers weren't home of course). 'You _tryin_' to get yourself onto CSI?'

'Don't be ridiculous Noah. I have the bat you gave me,' she replied dismissively. Puck followed the sound of her voice, trudging up the stairs after placing his shoes in the mud room (he remembered).

'That's kinda like the US-Mexico border Rachel. A last resort after all the other checkpoints have failed,' Puck retorted. Seriously, did this girl make it her mission in life to scare the crap outta him?

'That analogy is completely out of context,' Rachel replied. Puck spotted the giant gold star hanging on her door but any witty retort he had died on his lips when he caught sight of what she was wearing. The black spandex or lycra (all Puck knew was that it was clinging and moulding in all the right places) gleamed in the light as Rachel fiddled with her CD player.

'What are you wearing?' Puck questioned, feeling his voice waver.

_Fuck. First that corset and now this shit? When the hell did this house become Gitmo? Because this sure as hell is illegal torture._

'I thought we could do "You're The One That I Want" from _Grease_,' Rachel suggested, blinking heavily mascaraed eyes up at him.

Okay. Puck knew something was up. Because while he couldn't exactly find anything wrong with what she was wearing (because _dude seriously_)…there was something _off _about this whole thing.

'Am I getting Punk'd?' Puck's question caught Rachel off guard. He watched as she blinked and her lips faltered.

'You're not a celebrity so no,' Rachel answered, shaking her head. Olivia Newton John filtered in the background, low and soft.

_Be cool man. You're like steel. Wax on, wax off._

'Why are you dressed like some kind of…career girl?'

The hurt on Rachel's face made Puck swallow.

'I'm sure you meant burlesque dancer,' Rachel said through gritted teeth.

Puck's brow pulled together in a frown. 'Like Dita Von Teese?'

'There is nothing wrong with the way I'm dressed.'

'Don't get me wrong. It's like…' Puck didn't think he should finish that sentence. _Boyfriend Puckerman, boyfriend._ 'You usually rock the librarian look, with the knee socks and shit.'

'This is what all boys want, isn't it?' There was something underlying Rachel's tone and it made Puck pause, consider what he was going to say next.

'Well I guess. But it's not, you know, _you_,' Puck finished lamely.

_Fucking hallmark moments._

His declaration made Rachel go so still Puck thought someone had dumped a whole container of liquid nitrogen over her.

'You like me the way I am?' Vulnerable, that's what she looked like.

'You're an acquired taste Berry. Sure there's shit about you that borders on crazy, but without 'em you'd be majorly vanilla you know?' Puck gave her a lop-sided smirk. She stepped closer, angling head up to face him.

Puck had never really noticed how small she was.

Her arms were snaking around his neck.

_What the fuck? Red alert! RED FUCKING ALERT!_

'Rachel, seriously, you mind backing outta my personal space?' Puck tried gently pushing her hands off his neck but she held firm. '_Rachel_-'

Her lips were against his and they tasted like peppermint. He froze and Rachel pressed against him harder. Puck nearly groaned, feeling her chest brush against his own. Holy mother of god.

_Rachel Berry is kissing you._

Her teeth were pulling against his bottom lip and Puck felt her tongue sweep against it, as if asking for permission. He wanted to hesitate, wanted to resist because he had been so good about fighting back against this before.

Rachel's hands were pulling against his shaved scalp and she whimpered.

_Ah screw it._

Puck eased her closer, closer with his hand against her back, tilting his head and feeling her nose bump against his.

Soon, much too soon, she was staring up at him with wide eyes. Her lips were swollen and some of her red gloss had tracked to the side of her mouth.

Puck licked his lips and decided that he really, _really _loved the taste of peppermint.

**a/n: I hope that satisfied those of you who were impatient. **

**My Supernatural fic "Over the Edge of the Burning Sun" has Angel, Cordy, Spike, Faith and the rest of AI! Go read it! You don't need to have watched the show to understand it. Seriously. **

**900****th**** reviewer wins a one-shot!**


	31. Chapter 31

They looked at each other, suspended in time.

_I kissed him. I kissed Noah Puckerman._

Rachel could feel her knees going weak, as if the sudden realization of what she had done was pressing down too hard for her to remain upright.

Puck cleared his throat. Rachel snapped her eyes up towards his. Why hadn't she ever noticed that there was just the barest hint of amber in his irises?

'I…I…'

'Yeah,' Puck sounded so uncertain Rachel wasn't sure if this was the same overconfident boy who strutted down the hallways of McKinley.

'I have a boyfriend,' she whispered. The hurt that slammed down over Puck's features made her wince.

'_You _made the first move Berry.'

'I know that,' she remarked angrily, taking in his defiant tone. 'But you were not a passive participant either.'

'Are you blaming me?' Puck demanded angrily and for a moment his muscular body seemed to expand and fill the room.

'No. Yes. _I don't know_,' Rachel admitted and felt the edge of her bed hit the backs of her knees. Giving in, she perched herself on her comforter and scrabbled the duvet in between her fingers.

'Shit,' Puck swore, rubbing a hand against his mohawk. He muttered something else under his breath that Rachel couldn't quite catch.

That kiss had been…electrifying. It had made her blood erupt into a siren song, had made her nerves explode, overloaded her senses as she inhaled the nautical scent that seemed to cling to Puck's skin. And he had told her that he liked her for who she was – the crazy and the bad alongside the good. He liked her just so and didn't expect her to change.

_James accepts you too._

_But he doesn't make me feel like _this.

'I'm a loose woman,' Rachel blurted out. Puck's shoulders came down a fraction upon hearing her words.

'Don't be retarded.'

'I willingly kissed another boy while being in a committed relationship,' Rachel dangled a hand in front of Puck and pointed to her empty ring finger. 'Nathaniel Hawthorne must have known that I would be born to recreate his magnum opus _The Scarlet Letter_! I've lent credence to all those rumours that the Cheerios have saw fit to illustrate over the walls of the girls bathroom!' She ended the sentence close to wailing.

'Rachel, _chill_,' Puck was grasping her shoulders and Rachel shot her eyes towards his face. Had he felt that too? Awkwardly patting her he quickly released his grip. He had.

'I seduced you. Just, like, blame it all on the fact that you couldn't keep your hands off this prime P-bone ass.'

'_I _seduced _you_!' Rachel felt affronted, fingers touching the catsuit Kurt had forced upon her for tonight. 'Obviously my striking resemblance to Idina Menzel-'

'Please,' Puck snorted. 'Like you could even-'

'I seem to recall earlier this morning, at precisely eight oh five am, that you were unable to formulate a coherent reply when I suggested this activity for tonight,' Rachel told him somewhat smugly.

_Shit. She had him there._

'Whatever,' Puck conceded because this entire thing was getting ridiculous. 'You want a gold star or something?'

Rachel was looking at him intently, like he was a new piece of sheet music that she needed to master. Puck shifted in his seat, pointedly making sure that he wasn't look at her lips, or her eyes, or her hair. He settled for admiring the stained glass lamp on her bedside table.

He'd kissed a girl and he'd _liked _it.

Liked was an understatement, Puck decided, because making out with Rachel had been a supremely unreal experience. It had felt like…like scoring the winning touchdown and making his mother smile all wrapped into one and topped off with him earning a compliment from Berry herself. And she had _fit_, like a missing piece of the jigsaw that had finally wedged itself into place to complete the picture.

'Noah?'

_Crap_.

'Yeah?' He tried to look like he had been paying attention but the frown on Rachel's face showed that he had failed.

'I was simply asking…that is, I was wondering if you…enjoyed my…' Her cheeks were flooding with colour, tinting them a nice pink. 'Demonstration.'

Puck found himself caught between a rock and a hard place. The aggravation must have leaked onto the outside because Rachel was catching her bottom lip and Puck knew she only did that when she was nervous or upset.

'Do you really want me to answer that?'

_Because once I do there's no going back_, was what he didn't say but what Rachel could read between the lines.

Rachel seemed to struggle for a moment before nodding her head. Puck let out a ragged sigh, leaning back in her overly small armchair and looking up at the ceiling.

'You know I liked it,' was his answer. It was the truth and Puck felt somewhat glad that this was something he didn't have to lie about anymore, or hide away like it was some kind of forbidden fruit.

'So did I.' Her words made him jerk his head forward and what felt like hope took hold inside his chest.

_Easy there tiger. Someone else put a ring on it, metaphorically speaking. Remember that._

'What about James?' Puck sounded as if someone was strangling him but it needed to be asked.

'James has been wonderful.'

_What the hell? I just fucking gave her a Berryasm and she's telling me some other guy is-_

_Wax on, wax off. _

'He's everything a boyfriend should be. He's sweet, kind, thoughtful.'

Puck gritted his teeth.

_WAX ON, WAX OFF._

'But when I'm with you, that doesn't seem to matter,' Rachel said half-incredulously and Puck let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. He was still a stud. 'My stomach screams when I look at you.'

'That's a good thing right?' Puck thought that sounded painful.

'Yes,' Rachel murmured back, so low that Puck almost missed it.

Heavy, oppressive silence bore down on them, Puck in the too-small chair and Rachel on her too-big bed.

_Great job Puckerman. Why don't you just fuck up everyone else's life? First you impregnate the daughter of Evangelical right-wing nuts who think Glenn Beck is the friggin' messiah, and now you sorta commit adultery with Rachel._

'So…' Puck drew out the word, trying to block out the thoughts screaming inside his head.

'I can't be with you Noah.'

'S'okay,' Puck replied, pretending the words didn't cut through him like a knife. _The hell would she dump The Perfect Man for a screw up like you?_

'I need to _think_. Can you – is that okay?' Rachel sounded meek, her face pleading. Give me time, was what Puck thought she meant to say. He didn't trust himself to speak so he nodded his head.

'I'm just gonna go,' he finally mumbled, hooking a thumb towards the door. 'Make sure you lock the door behind me.'

'I will,' Rachel assured him. Puck ran his tongue over his bottom lip and tasted peppermint again.

'I'll see you tomorrow.'

She followed behind him and Puck stayed on her porch until he heard the sound of the dead bolt locking into place. Tucking his hands into his pockets, he put one foot in front of the other, steps heavy. He got into his truck, hearing the radio come to life.

**I won't try to philosophize  
I'll just take a deep breath then I'll look in your eyes  
This is how I feel  
And it's so surreal  
I got a closet filled up to the brim  
With the ghosts of my past and their skeletons  
And I don't know why  
You'd even try  
But I won't lie**

**You caught me off guard  
Now I'm running and screaming**

I feel like a hero and you are my heroine

_Shit. I sure as hell ain't a hero._

Because he wasn't. But she had kissed him and she hadn't outright said it had been a mistake. Rachel hadn't looked at him with disgust or yelled and screamed at him to get out (she wasn't Quinn).

Puck threw his truck angrily into gear and backed out of Rachel's driveway, casting one last look at her bedroom window before driving off.

Later that night, as he tossed and turned, a solitary thought kept looping through his mind.

_But maybe, just maybe, Rachel Berry can be my heroine._

**a/n: I may rewrite this but I'm happy with it for now. Let me know what you think so I can decide!**

**Soundtrack for this was "Hero/Heroine" by Boys Likes Girls and "He Said, She Said" by NLT.**

**And to ladidah (I'm doing this here because you don't have a private account and because if anyone else feels the same way, this is my response):**

**I referred to Figgins as "the Indian" because, well, he IS Indian. I know this because I myself am Indian and if I wanted to be offensive (as your review so kindly implied) I would have called him something derogatory that would have been a very obvious slight against his North Indian heritage. I have personally been the subject of racist comments and I know what its like to be on the receiving end of crap like that. I would never call Artie a cripple (as you so graciously put it). That's just rude and it's not in my personal nature to call anyone that, EVER. So if you find me accurately labeling Figgins odious to your delicate sensibilities, then don't read. Simple as that. **

**If I'm coming off as defensive and mean, I'm sorry. I can take people lambasting my writing within reason but if you're going to come at me from THAT angle (such as above), then I suggest you don't read this at all. Completely ruined my day when I got that review. Bah.**


	32. Chapter 32

Rachel Berry had always prided herself on being honest. Maybe that was why so many of her peers found it hard to be around her. She created a "zone of truth" that Dr Lance Sweets would have been proud of.

But right now, sitting across from James, she wished that telling the truth wasn't quite so _hard_.

She had arranged for them to meet at a neutral venue – a quaint little book café tucked away into the corner that burned incense and had those wildlife CDs on repeat – and as the minutes slid away, Rachel had downed her chai with increasing regularity. When her boyfriend (was he even that anymore?) had finally arrived, her muscles and nerves were on end.

'Say something,' she whispered and her voice seemed to carry in the small space. The curly haired waitress was fiddling with the paper napkins two tables over and Rachel wished that she would just go away.

'What do you want me to say?' James didn't sound angry, per se, but his tone was heated. 'My girlfriend just cheated on me with someone else.'

'I'm sorry,' she said, casting her eyes on the table. It felt wrong to do this to James because she had been in the same situation before with Finn. After he had kissed her in the auditorium, the quarterback had looked at her with wide eyes and so much _guilt_. And it had crushed Rachel, seeing him with his arm around Quinn later that day. When she had thought Finn was the one, knowing and watching him with the blonde Cheerio had killed a bit of her inside every single time.

She wasn't going to pretend with James, because Rachel knew how much that hurt.

'Are you sorry you kissed him, or sorry that you had a boyfriend when you did it?' His accusation stung because it was partly true. Rachel looked up at him, saw his wounded blue eyes, and didn't know what to say that would make her answer seem any less painful or any less accurate.

'Yeah, that's what I thought,' James sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

'I'm so, so _sorry _James. I didn't stop to contemplate the consequences of my actions and you've been wonderful and just oh so _nice _and while I realize that I'm the embodiment of Hester Prynne right now and that you could not _bear _to look upon me-'

'Rachel,' James interrupted and she took a moment to breathe. 'I just…I just don't get it. _Why_?'

The question hung between them like an elephant hiding in the corner of the room, big and conspicuous but trying its hardest not to be seen.

'I don't know,' she mumbled, lying. 'It just…_happened_.'

'Okay,' his reply was subdued. Another exhalation that was tired. 'I can't do _us _anymore Rachel. Not if you're still trying to figure out whether this Puck guy is who you really want. I deserve better than that. We both do.'

'I know,' she said softly. 'Are we breaking up?'

'I guess we are.'

They sat there, the two of them, neither wanting to look at the other.

'Funny thing is I can't even bring myself to dislike you,' James muttered like this was some kind of sin and Rachel felt her eyes burn. _God, what had she done? How could she have done this to someone who didn't deserve it?_

'You should,' Rachel told him firmly. 'You should hate me.'

A wry chuckle. 'So this is goodbye then, I guess.'

'We can't even stay friends?' It was naïve and selfish of her to ask this and James' face contracted for a moment before the lines smoothed over.

'Not right now. I need time to, like, process all of this.'

He was offering her a glimpse of the future that she was willing to take.

'I enjoyed our time together James. My actions may have been contrary to what I'm telling you, but you were my first boyfriend and that is always going to be something to me,' Rachel told him passionately. He flashed a tight smile in response, nodding his head. He left her with a kiss on the cheek that felt bittersweet and now she let the moisture building around her eyes escape.

Fishing out the correct change for her drink, she placed it on the table with shaking hands and blurry brown eyes.

'You okay sweetie?' The waitress that had been blatantly eavesdropping asked and the pitying look on the older woman's face burned off any residual irritation Rachel had previously felt.

'I'll be fine,' she managed to say in a voice that was half-wavering, half-steady. Jerking her head in a polite nod, Rachel headed towards the Navigator Kurt had loaned her for the day. After thoroughly checking to make sure that the vehicle was unahrmed, Rachel struggled into the driver's seat and leaned her head against the steering wheel.

Behind tinted windows and feel the stitching dig into her forehead, Rachel cried for a boy who had given her everything, for a boy who had pretended to and for a boy that wanted to.

James, Finn. _Puck._

When Puck saw Rachel the next day in a loose white shirt and blue jeans, the downcast expression on her face made him feel like even more of a shit.

'Hey,' he said. She looked up at him from under her lashes, mumbling a quiet reply. Remorse ate away at him and Puck wondered whether he should sit down beside her and offer, like, moral support or take his ass far away so that she could condemn him in peace. Spotting Kurt fluttering his fingers towards him, Puck opted for option C.

'Sup Beyonce?'

Kurt slid his eyes up and down his frame and Puck was just beginning to feel uncomfortable (looking at _this _rack long enough was enough to make anyone ask the orgasm donor for a free sample) when the other boy spoke.

'Last night in the Berry household, I watched Rachel become _very _familiar with both Ben and Jerry. After that rather erotic display, I was then subjected to the _New Moon _soundtrack which made me want to invest in copious amounts of eye liner and shut myself into a catatonic stupor. After discovering that I was _so _for Team Jacob, I then made Bee enter the confessional.'

'That's…nice,' Puck said, trying to push away the image of Rachel kneeling before him.

Kurt glared at Puck as if he was an idiot. 'In between her diatribes about being a immoral woman and a rather lengthy tangent about how breaking up with her boyfriend-'

'She _what_?' Puck couldn't help but say. She'd broken things off with pretty boy? When? Why?

_You know why. Idjit._

Some of the compunction ebbed away as Puck glanced sideways at Rachel, who was now glancing forlornly at the doors.

'She told me, you know. About that happened between the two of you. That black lyrca was made for sex but I guess keeping it PG-13 was a wise choice.'

'Wait,' Puck frowned, bits and pieces snapping into place. '_You_-'

'Yes, _I_,' Kurt gestured dramatically towards himself.

'Fucking with people's lives Hummel? Seriously?' There was no venom in Puck's words though and Kurt smiled beatifically in response.

'Please I'm the co-chair of Team Puckleberry,' Kurt said it in a way that meant he wasn't going to dignify that with a rejoinder. 'I needed her to realize that you liked her for more than her…assets.'

Puck thought it sucked that Kurt was right on the money.

'Fuck,' Puck mumbled, scratching his temple. 'Rachel looks like someone kicked her puppy or something.'

'How very eloquent,' Kurt drawled and Puck snapped his eyes back towards the kicker. 'Look Puckerman, since unlike me you are unskilled in the art of nuance, I'm going to lay it out nice and simple.'

Puck raised an eyebrow and decided to ignore the insult buried somewhere in there.

'Right now Rachel's vulnerable, susceptible, _pliant_.'

'What? You think I'm going to take advantage of her or something?' Puck spat out under his breath. 'Because she deserves better than-'

Kurt waved his hand in the air dismissively but he was giving Puck an approving look now. 'I'm glad we understand each other. Look Puck, you can't just hand her a grape slushie one day and have her fall into your arms. You've laid the beginnings of a relationship that could be epic. Lives ruined, bloodshed.'

Puck checked to make sure Kurt's pupils weren't dilated.

'If we accept the cold, harsh reality Sweet Valley High has shown us, then its safe to say that any relationship the two of you will have will be _so _the drama.'

'What's the _point_ Beyonce?'

Kurt looked affronted. 'Rachel isn't Lady GaGa. She wants you to put a ring on it, metaphorically speaking. What?' The other boy asked, noticing the freaked out look etched clearly across Puck's face.

_Holy. Shit. What the hell did Hummel _do _to me? Was there some kind of wacked out Vulcan mind meld I wasn't aware of? _

'Nothing,' Puck hurriedly replied. Kurt knit his brown but then shrugged.

'I'm not saying be all stoic and repressive about your feelings for Rachel. That didn't end well for Dean and he lost his chance with Jo. Considering that you both know where you stand, let Rachel have some time to figure things out before she catches up with you down that yellow brick road.' Kurt seemed to struggle with himself before fixing Puck with a serious, muted gaze. 'You give her something to dream to, you know? And she gives you something to sleep to at night.'

Rachel caught a glimpse of the pensive expression on Puck's face throughout Glee but the left tackle never offered her a chance to pry open the shuttered look in his eyes. Towards the end, he'd caught her staring and started, as if he'd realized something. The look that burned somewhere behind his green eyes made Rachel's stomach flutter and her cheeks heat.

It was scary, an unknown that she was afraid to explore but knew that she would. In time. Because while Puck made her feel different, Rachel thought that it was too soon for her to be attaching herself to another boy. James was still fresh in her mind but most important of all…most important of all…

'Hey, you need a ride?' It was an offer that he had made countless times, when they were friends and before they had both acknowledged that there was something more between them.

_I'll give you time_, his eyes seemed to say and Rachel accepted his offer gratefully. She missed the knowing look shared between Kurt and Brittany but Puck did.

If she needed time, he could give her that. Because Puck figured there were very few people who gave a shit about him and Rachel was one of them. She deserved that much.

Rachel reflected in the quiet that cloaked over them, comfortable and easy, as Puck drove towards her house without once asking her for directions.

_Here had been her sin; here, her sorrow; and here was yet to be her penitence_, Hawthorne had wrote about Hester.

Puck had been her sin and her sorrow. And as they shared a lingering look when she thanked him and some of the heaviness evaporated, Rachel thought he could be her penitence.

**a/n: **

**1000****th**** reviewer gets a one-shot! And if you have any suggestions for a one-shot, because I'm always looking for new ideas, just PM me or something!**

**And re: THE REVIEW – thanks you guys. Aw shucks.**

**Soundtrack for this was "Something To Sleep To" by Michelle Branch, "Closer to Fine" by Indigo Girls and "Honestly" by Bethany Joy Lenz.**


	33. Chapter 33

Puck spotted Quinn walking past him, her head down as she meandered her way towards somewhere. He extracted the book he had gotten the other day at the bookstore, feeling the weight of it in his hands as he twisted his locker door shut.

'Hey! Quinn!'

At the sound of his voice she angled her head his way and Puck took heart in the fact that instead of looking angry, Quinn simply appeared resigned. That made him frown.

'Are you okay?' Puck asked, concerned. There was no hiding the fact that Quinn could be a heartless bitch when she wanted to be (though Puck was convinced that was a side effect of having Sue Slyvester as your coach) but right now, the girl in the loose cotton top looked…_lost_. Her make up was impeccable and her hair was neat and kept away by a pink barrette. Her clothes were pressed. But if you bothered to take a closer look, there was no mistaking the tired slump of her shoulders. It made Puck want to hold her.

'I'm living in a _basement _Puck. What do you think?' The words were bitter but Quinn didn't meet his eyes.

'I heard about that,' Puck replied, uncertain. Realizing what was in his hand, he thrust it towards Quinn. The blonde accepted the paperback hesitantly, the astonishment on her face irritating.

'How to Raise A Baby on Five Dollars A Day,' she read the title aloud.

'I got it for you. For like, reference material or some shit like that,' Puck explained, rubbing the back of his neck.

'Thanks,' Quinn answered, flicking her eyes up to meet his. She must have read something in his eyes because she was clearing her throat, palming the book he had given her into her other hand.

'Before the bake sale, you said you wanted to help.'

'I do,' Puck replied slowly, refusing to let the hope inside his chest blossom.

'I'm…I'm not sure _what _I'm going to do-'

'Whatever you want is fine,' Puck assured her hurriedly. Because if there was the slightest chance that she would let him in his baby's life, he would grasp at it hard and not let go. Puck didn't think it was possible to get so attached to someone who didn't even know you existed yet. But at times he would stare at Quinn's stomach and think that the little girl growing inside would never know Puck as her father. It made his chest constrict whenever he thought of a small, blonde girl with green eyes looking up at Finn and calling him Daddy. And it hurt even more knowing that if maybe he had fought harder, made more of an effort to convince Quinn that he was better…

Quinn was giving him a smile, a genuine one not coloured with distaste or anger or frustration.

'I've had a lot of time to think since my father…' Quinn trailed off. 'I was angry when I found out about _this_,' she smoothed a hand over her belly. 'Because I love Finn and I'd gone behind his back and done this…'

'I know,' Puck told her because he had done the same thing – betrayed someone innocent in the worst way imaginable.

_What is Rachel going to think when she finds out?_

Shaking his head, Puck pushed the thought aside as Quinn spoke.

'I guess I was just mad at you and I didn't really want to blame myself. So, I mean, what I'm trying to say is that you're not a loser Puck. And if you're willing to _help_, to figure this out…'

'I am.' Puck hoped the eagerness in his tone wasn't too obvious.

'Okay,' Quinn said. They both looked at each other awkwardly before Quinn nodded her head and brushed past him.

She was giving him a chance to prove himself, to show her that he was more than capable of being a good father, to rebut the argument that genetics was ironclad and hereditary. Because Puck wasn't going to be the type of man his Dad had been. He wasn't going to force his son to sit there and watch helpless as his mother smiled at him with a bruise decorating her cheek, wasn't going to lay a hand on his kid because they weren't good enough to follow in Eli Puckerman's footsteps and be the kind of trailer park trash…

_Not now man. Seriously._

Unclenching his fists, Puck lost sight of Quinn's flaxen hair before turning towards World History. Seeing Rachel's head bent over a pink notebook, something inside him eased.

_At least there are people out there who believe in you right? That's gotta count for something._

Puck usually sat in the back and slept with his eyes open. So Rachel was caught off guard when the tall left tackle threw himself into the chair next to hers.

'Sup?' He greeted her casually.

'Good morning Puck,' Rachel couldn't help but smile at him.

_Are you sorry you kissed him, or because you had a boyfriend when you did?_

James' words were like a slap in the face and Rachel felt her lips slump slightly.

_Not now Berry. Honestly._

'I'd say the morning's been pretty decent so far,' Puck answered and she wondered whether the lopsided curve of his lips was because of her or something else.

'Did you hear about Mr Schue wanting us in the auditorium during lunch?' Rachel enquired, attempting to push down the feelings the boy sitting next to her inspired. It was too soon to even consider someone else right now. It would feel wrong, as if she were on the rebound. At least, that was what Rachel thought Kurt had said this morning before school.

'No,' Puck replied, his brow pulling together. 'What does Schue want?'

'_Mr _Schue has apparently invited our competition to utilize the facilities available to us. It appears to be some kind of invitational that he's extended to the Correctional school,' Rachel frowned, recalling the harried expression on the teacher's face when he had caught hold of her this morning between classes.

'Seriously?'

'Yes. It's completely ridiculous! While allowing us the opportunity to observe our competition on our home turf is admirable, it also enables _them _to scrutinize _us_. And while I believe that our group is certainly showing signs that we-'

'Miss Berry, Mr Puckerman. Is there something you'd like to share with the class?'

Rachel started and felt the blood rush to her cheeks as a few people around them snickered.

'We're cool Russ,' Puck threw back flippantly and Rachel sunk lower into her chair. Mr Russell rolled his eyes.

'If I wasn't so surprised to realize that you weren't actually catatonic Puck…' The middle-aged man trailed off, shaking his head.

'Thank god for small miracles, huh?' Puck retorted, earning him a tired sigh from their history teacher.

'Just pay attention. Some day knowing that only Nixon could go to China might come in handy.'

Puck had no idea what that meant.

Rachel found herself sitting next to Puck during lunch and while the rest of New Directions seemed content to discuss what exactly the Jane Adams School would bring to the table, Rachel was trying _very _hard to ignore the way Puck's knee kept bumping into hers. She'd pulled her legs tight together, the bones that protruded out of the sides of her knees rubbing against each other uncomfortably. And yet the other boy would find some way to brush up against her, and watching him out of the corner of her eye, she wasn't sure whether it was intentional or not.

The feel of Puck's lips and the hurt in James' eyes was still fresh. They were pulling against each other, like two ends of the same tapestry that were slowly unraveling towards the center. Rachel could only find herself watching it unfold, hopeless and unsure of what to do.

_Just focus on the music. You can do that_, Rachel thought as the Correctional school arranged themselves on stage.

'Dude, there is no way we can wave out hair around like that,' she heard Mike mumble as the Asian boy ran a hand through his short hair. The last echoes of "Bootylicious" rang throughout the auditorium and Rachel twisted around in her seat to catch a glimpse of Mr Schue's face. The Spanish teacher seemed to be deep in thought, a finger curled around his chin.

Why did he need to _think _at all? Wasn't it obvious what those girls had been doing? As everyone else got up to leave, Mike and Matt engaged in a discussion that involved dreadlocks and staying power, Rachel hung back.

'What's the hold up?' Puck's voice sounded behind her and Rachel pressed a hand to her chest, spinning around so fast she almost lost her balance. Puck's hand shot out and grabbed her waist. His touch was like a furnace, burning and slow.

'Where's that Tony-winning grace?' He joked, making no effort to remove his hold on her. Rachel slid her eyes towards Mr Schue and back towards Puck, who was looking at her. It wasn't anything special, Rachel thought, but the way his eyes seemed to linger over her skin made it so.

'I need to speak with Mr Schue,' Rachel said, somewhat weakly, and mentally cursed herself for showing how much he affected her.

_You totally stuck your tongue down his throat. I mean, like _duh_, _Brittany's voice resonated in her head.

'Oh. Okay,' he let his arm drop to the side. He was still watching her and Rachel gave him a jerky smile and _gracefully _made her way towards the New Directions leader.

'Mr Schue?'

'Oh. Hey Rachel.'

Rachel could feel Puck's gaze on her as he walked out of the auditorium.

'I hope you weren't threatened by that display,' Rachel forced out, narrowing her attention on the curly-haired man in front of her. 'It was nothing but hairography.'

'What?'

Honestly, how could this man expect to lead them to victory if he didn't have a hold on the lingo?

'Hairography. Whizzing their hair around and dancing around provocatively like that? It's a distraction, so we don't notice that their vocals are actually sub-par or merely adequate.'

Mr Schue didn't reply, simply humming and nodding his head.

'We're better than that Mr Schue,' Rachel insisted, tentatively patting him on the arm as she got out of her seat.

The unconvinced look on his face made her want to shake him in frustration.

_If he doesn't believe in us, how are we going to believe in ourselves?_

**a/n: could team puckleberry and Bibz get in touch with me for your one-shots? Leave a review or PM me, otherwise it's going to the runner-up!**

**And DUDE! You guys helped me break that sacred 1,000 barrier. Famazing.**

**Sadly, I did not manage to get a mention or win the Pink's Baby Mama Drama challenge. Ah well. I still like my work so it's all good.**


	34. Chapter 34

When Mr Schue had announced that they were going to do a piece from _Hair!_, the first thing Puck had thought was whether they had mohawks back in the twenties. That had been quickly put on the backburner when he saw Rachel march up towards the New Directions chair, a frown pulling at her features. Someone tossed him a wig and after removing the hair from his face, Rachel was storming out of the choir room.

'What the hell?' Puck murmured. 'Yo, Mr Schue. What's wrong with Rachel?'

'Nothing. She'll be back,' Mr Schue replied, though the uncertain look on his face belied the confident tone. 'Let's just run through this until she gets back okay?'

Rachel had walked in halfway through the choreography and brushed past Mr Schue with feigned nonchalance. 'I apologize for my interruption,' was all she said before inserting herself between Brittany and Mercedes. Mr Schue didn't look any less relieved as he went through the piece with them, and when Puck had tried talking to Rachel the petite girl had simply brushed him off and hurried away.

'Dude, you look like a girl,' Mike remarked as he flipped his now long hair over his shoulders. Puck could see the students from the School for the Deaf arranged in a row in the music room.

'You're just jealous because you'd never be this hot,' Puck shot back absently as Mike snorted.

'So how's things between you guys?' Mike's question made Puck raise an eyebrow.

'What?'

Mike cut his eyes back and forth and upon noticing that none of the other guys were paying them any attention, his lips stretched into a contemplative smirk.

'Well Rachel's a free agent now right? I thought you'd slap on some war paint and-'

'I thought we talked about your Call of Duty addiction man,' Puck interrupted, attempting to distract Mike who shook his head knowingly.

'What I'm saying is you need to make a move before, like, my grandson decides Berry is totally worth growing a pair,' Mike told him sagely.

'It's complicated. She just broke up with her boyfriend,' Puck mumbled, gaze fixed on the classroom door where the girls had gone to do their costume change.

_Because you kissed her idjit. Oh, and did we mention you got Quinn pregnant? Just FYI._

'It's only like that because you're thinking too hard. And with your brain capacity, it's a wonder you haven't spontaneously combusted or some shit like that,' Mike said dryly, reaching to fix his wig. 'This thing is making my head _itch _man! Where are the girls? How long does it take to put on a pair of shorts?'

'That's really wrong,' Puck retorted, watching as Mike pushed his hand underneath the wig and scratched the side of his scalp.

'How could something so wrong feel so right?' Mike asked and Puck laughed at the blissful expression on the other boy's face. He stopped abruptly when the door up the hall opened and Rachel emerged behind Brittany and Santana. He took in the micro shorts and long, lean, tanned legs that stretched and stretched into a pair of Converse sneakers. Licking his lips, his eyes travelled up her torso and lingered over the v-neck of her white t-shirt.

'Those shorts are _god_,' Puck heard Mike say and couldn't agree more.

Rachel was muttering something under her breath and Puck looked at Brittany questioningly. The Dutch girl merely shrugged her shoulders as if to say she didn't know.

'Absolutely unnecessary and completely ridiculous,' Puck caught the tail end of Rachel's rant.

'It's just a song Rachel,' Puck interjected (because really, what else could she be upset about?) and found himself staring down into a pair of startled brown eyes. The corners of her lips were gravitating upwards and shaking.

Puck sighed, flicking a stray piece of hair behind his face. Good thing school was out. He knew he said he could make a dress look cool but that scenario had been entirely hypothetical.

'Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up,' he said under his breath sourly. Rachel was outright grinning now and he could see that she was trying to be polite.

'Well you do look a bit…_odd_,' she settled. He was staring at her legs and Rachel felt something rush into her cheeks and tinge it a healthy pink. Brittany had been especially insistent that she wear these particular pair of denim cutoffs.

'If you've got it, flaunt it,' the blonde had told her with a straight face. Catching sight of the mesmerized expression on Puck's face, Rachel couldn't help but think she was right.

_Score one for feminine wiles._

'Alright guys. Let's go!' Mr Schue clapped his hands together, some of the eagerness dimming when he passed over Rachel. The self-proclaimed female lead of Glee crossed her arms, remembering how Mr Schue had all but admitted that he didn't think they were good enough without hairography to beat the Jane Adams girls. Rachel knew that Artie thought her diva storm outs lost their effect after a few times, but hearing the person who was supposed to have _faith _in them say in a roundabout way that he _didn't _had been upsetting.

_When life hands you lemons, ask why they didn't give you limes_, Mrs Randle always said and Rachel found she still didn't quite grasp the meaning behind the phrase. The elderly woman who Rachel looked upon as a grandmother had patted her hand, saying that when the time came she would understand.

They positioned themselves and as Beyonce's "Crazy In Love" came on Rachel forgot about Mr Schue, about James, about Puck or Finn and just immersed herself into the routine. There was something particularly _freeing _about whipping her hair about and strutting her stuff, Rachel had to admit. Hairography was perfect for lowering inhibitions in a sense because maybe all the movement was a way to hide all your mistakes, all your flaws.

_Fuck, _Puck thought when he saw Rachel about to line up in front of Finn. This was the part where the girls jumped on the guys and gyrated around. Casually, Puck inched forward the few extra centimeters. Finn stumbled slightly, just catching himself. The tall teen flashed Puck a disgruntled expression that was coloured with a hint of disapproval.

Rachel saw Puck standing there and held her breath. His eyes were dark and inviting. She couldn't look away. She did though in the end because looking into them was making her feel as if someone was suffocating her.

_It's just a dance Rachel, nothing more._

She chanted that mantra through her head, ignoring the way Puck's muscles flexed underneath her legs or the gentle care he took as he grasped the curve of her waist. Warmth and electricity warred for dominance but Rachel didn't care. A quick flutter of her eyelids and she was on the floor again, short of breath as she lined up beside Brittany and Quinn.

_Don't think about it. Just don't._

Their song came to an end and Rachel saw the skeptical expressions decorating the School for the Deaf. Before they took their seats, she stood next to Mr Schue and looked him in the eye defiantly.

'That didn't work at all, did it?'

He didn't have a reply to her words. Rachel shook her head and sat down heavily in the first available chair she could find.

_I hope that embarrassing display made Mr Schue realize that we're more than what he just made us do_, Rachel thought bitterly.

John Lennon's "Imagine" echoed throughout the music room and Rachel felt her eyes burn ever so slightly, watching the students from Haverbrook sign the lyrics. Mercedes started singing and soon they were threaded amongst them, Rachel smiling as the pretty brunette showed her how to move her hands.

'I'm sorry guys,' Mr Schue said after the Haverbrook visitors had departed. 'Rachel was right. You don't need to be anything other than yourselves to win. I'm…sorry I lost track of that.'

Puck nudged her shoulder and she couldn't temper the grin on her face.

'So how about we try "True Colours"? Tina?'

Tina's blue and black hair shimmered as she turned to see how Rachel would react. The action made her feel slightly hurt because Rachel thought she had showed remarkable poise in accepting the solos Mercedes and Artie had been getting. And yet here everyone was, holding their breath as if they expected her to rail and moan.

'Maybe we should dress up like a rainbow?' Rachel suggested and was surprised when Mr Schue sheepishly produced t-shirts to match her proposal. Grabbing a purple one off the pile (purple was the colour of royalty after all. There was nothing to stop her from broadcasting subliminal messages after all), she disappeared into the girl's bathroom and yanked it over her head savagely.

_Don't cry. Don't cry. Dolly Parton said if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain._

'Rachel?' Brittany's voice was tentative. Rachel sucked in a breath and wadded up the cotton shirt she had been wearing. When she opened the stall there was a wide smile plastered over her features.

'I'm ready,' she announced. Brittany regarded her as if she were a caged animal.

_Rain, rain go away._

They made their way over towards the stage and Rachel perched herself next to Mike, who gave her a welcoming grin. Rachel returned the effort weakly, forcing herself to be _more _when Tina walked by and caught her eye.

**Show me a smile then  
Don't be unhappy**

**Can't remember when I last saw you laughing  
If this world makes you crazy  
And you've taken all you can bear  
You call me up  
Because you know I'll be there**

Finn was looking her way, Rachel knew. She provided him the barest hint of acknowledgment before focusing on Mr Schue. Had it been only a short time ago (well it was more like a few months) that she had bent over backwards for Finn Hudson? For what? So that he could toy with her and make her feel less than she was? So that he could go back to Quinn?

_You've seen his true colours…_

Tina's voice was crystralline, clear, _unique_. It was sweet like a child's but conveyed such a depth that Rachel was in awe. Feeling something burning the side of her face, she glanced up and found Puck's eyes fixed on her.

This time she didn't look away.

_He's seen your true colours and you've seen his. And yet, and yet…_

Rachel was grateful that she was singing backup because Puck's stare was making her nervous and excited. The butterflies in her stomach were beating against the lining like a drum, steady and thrumming and _loud_.

As Mr Schue clapped from his perch high up in the auditorium, Rachel pulled herself away from Puck and clenched her fists.

Robert Frost's "Reluctance" came to mind (he was Daddy's favourite poet so Rachel had somewhat willingly read his work).

**Ah, when to the heart of man  
Was it ever less than a treason  
To go with the drift of things,  
To yield with a grace to reason,  
And bow and accept the end  
Of a love or a season?**

What she felt for Puck was _real_. It was more than what she had felt with James. What Puck inspired in her was _heat_, the hot flash of white-hot blue flame that seared. It singed her nerves and branded itself into her mind, her soul and quite possibly her heart.

Rachel lingered where the curtains fell to section off the backstage area, waiting.

She was tired of pretending, tired of acting like someone else because she wasn't ready to go against what her head was screaming at her to do.

Puck came into her line of vision.

_No more yielding to the grace of reason._

She fisted her hands into the material of his shirt, pulling him behind the thick velvet fabric away from view.

'What the – Rachel? Why the fuck are you hiding back here like some kind of vampire? Because-'

Rachel looped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips against his. Puck stiffened and for a moment she panicked. What if she was wrong? What if that kiss in her bedroom had been a fluke, a one-off endeavour that wasn't likely to repeat itself?

But then he was catching her lips between his own and Rachel felt his fingers dance around the waistband of her jeans, calloused pads rubbing against the smooth skin and making her push closer. The warmth, the heat that she had thought about was stretching over her like a second layer.

_I'm Rachel Berry and I'm not ready to bow just yet._

**a/n: Wrote one-shot called 'Ironic'. Go check it out.**

**reviews make me happy.  
**


	35. Chapter 35

Breathing slightly harder than usual, they broke apart. Puck was pleased to see Rachel blink owlishly, as if in a daze. Her lips were swollen and her brown hair slightly mussed from the pads of his fingers weaving through it.

She looked, he thought proudly, well and truly ravaged.

'I…' Rachel trailed off as Puck tasted peppermint on his tongue. She seemed to steel herself and Puck immediately felt wary. After all, the last time _this _had happened she had all but shown him the door.

_But no strings attached this time around Puckerman._

'There a reason you felt the need to violate me Berry?' Puck asked, attempting a nonchalance that he wasn't feeling. Anxious was the first word that came to mind. It was as if his senses had gone into self-imposed overload and every little thing came across his radar – the subtle shift of Rachel's posture, the way the lights that filtered through the velvet curtains struck her chocolate tresses just so. It was maddening and yet strangely thrilling at the same time.

'I kissed you,' she said very matter-of-factly.

'I know. I was there.'

'You kissed me back,' Rachel was looking him in the eye, barely blinking.

'I did.' Because, really, what was the point in denying the obvious.

'Which means that you obviously must hold some kind of interest in me. Clearly you find me symmetrically pleasing – your blatant ogling of my body is proof enough of that.'

Puck shrugged his shoulders. 'You're a hot Jew.'

Rachel seemed pleased with his answer. 'And while my personality is often abrasive, conceited and hard to take in, you've remarked on numerous occasions that you do not find that a negative trait.'

'Well, it couldn't hurt to dial down the crazy. Sometimes,' Puck hastily tacked on towards the end. Because Rachel was giving a speech. And whenever she did, it often led to something important.

'I also find your honesty, which you seem to have tempered with tact rather than your previous juvenile-'

'Is there a _point_ Rachel?' Anticipation was making him nervous. Puck hated feeling this tense, especially over a girl.

She sucked in a deep, audible breath that puffed out her cheeks comically. Puck stood there unmoving and still. His fingers toyed with the hole in the pocket of his jeans, twisting and tugging it so hard that he was afraid of making it bigger.

'While I am usually very verbose, I believe that in this case I wanted my actions to speak for themselves.'

'I see,' Puck replied.

'_Well_?' Rachel resisted the urge to stamp her feet. Why was he acting so reticent? For a second she was sitting on a plaid blanket with a picnic basket by her side, an airplane cup of virgin cosmo discarded as Finn sealed his lips over hers. Finn was bolting upright, pulling his shirt over his pants, and telling her to forget that what had happened had ever really occurred.

'Well what?'

Was he purposefully trying to make this more difficult than it already was?

'Noah Puckerman, are you deliberately being obtuse?' She demanded, jabbing a finger at his chest. Rachel had taken a chance, a deliberate and foolish one that dangled them both over a precipice. It was a chance for something dangerous yet intoxicating at the same time.

'What do you want me to say Rachel?' His voice was quiet and this made Rachel blink. There was a sadness that lingered behind his words, a kind of subtle resignation that made her want to throw herself at him and wrap her arms around his waist. It was this juxtaposition of sweet and sour that fascinated her so much. It reeled her in and tightened its grip on Rachel the more time she spent with him.

'I want you to tell me the truth. About us,' she finally said. Puck fixed his green eyes squarely on hers and she could see the flecks of gold dotting the rims.

'Aside from you shoving your tongue down my throat, _twice_, there is no us Berry,' he remarked evenly. Rachel winced.

'Yes, that's a rather simplistic summary of our…situation,' Rachel answered delicately, making sure to choose her words carefully. Puck studied her furrowed brow and tamped down the urged to run this thumb down the middle to smooth away the lines forming there.

'You have a complicated version then?' Puck asked her, shifting closer towards her. His words seemed to echo around the empty auditorium and for a brief moment, he wondered whether anyone had noticed that the both of them were gone.

'Your caution towards my gesture of affection is understandable,' Rachel began. 'When this happened previously I was involved in a relationship with James. Therefore, though I wanted to explore our sudden and unexpected-'

'What's different this time? I mean, aside from the fact that you're not playing Stepford for pretty boy anymore-'

'I'm _trying _to tell you that there should be an _us _you Neanderthal!' Rachel yelled and Puck took a step back in surprise. 'I meant what I said before about the feelings that you inspire within me. Despite the fact that you've spent _years _tormenting me, these past few months you've shown me a side that I believe very few people have had the opportunity to see. You're sweet, kind, _good_. And while your penchant for violence could be rectified, sometimes its admirable the way you it as an alternative to dispense a rather personalized form of justice.' She said this all without needing to take a breath, much like she had done before the girls had performed their mash up of Halo and Walking On Sunshine.

_She thinks I'm…good._

'I'm not…I'm not this great guy you think I am Rachel. I'm a complete asshole at the best of times,' he told her thickly, swallowing.

_What are you doing? She's all but saying she wants you and you're starting _now _to take the moral high road?_

_I got Quinn pregnant. I can't tell Rachel that. She'll hate me._

_Quinn isn't going to let that little fact slip. Keep your mouth shut and Rachel will never know. It's not lying if she doesn't ask you about it._

_Really?_

_Really._

Her features softened and she was looking at him with a small smile. He watched as Rachel reached out her hands and grasped the arm that was entrenched in his pocket, gently tugging his hand free from its confines and sandwiching it between her tiny palms. Her skin was soft and smooth, gliding across his with barely a catch.

'I believe I mentioned the fact that you tormented me with slushies for a while,' she informed him gently, peering up at him through her lashes. Puck stared at their joined hands, running the tip of his tongue over his front teeth.

'We won't work. You're like high maintenance and I don't have a good credit score,' he said, keeping his eyes downcast.

'_Noah_,' Rachel said forcefully and Puck felt his belly tickle his spine. When he didn't lift his gaze, she hooked a finger under his chin and turned it towards her. 'The feelings I have for you are _new _and they confuse me! I realize that this is uncharted territory for you, dating someone obviously below your social standing-'

'_Don't say that_,' Puck hissed through his teeth. 'Like I give a fuck what anyone else says about you. If I want you to be my girl, they can all learn to deal with it.'

'Do you want me to be your girl?' She parroted.

'Fuck Rach, what do you think?' Puck groaned, skipping his glare away from her.

'I think that you do. But because of some inherent self-esteem issues-'

'I _don't _have self-esteem issues, alright? I'm a fucking _stud_,' Puck protested vehemently.

'Clearly,' Rachel drawled and Puck wasn't sure whether she was being sarcastic or not.

'Everything I touch gets screwed up,' he mumbled. 'You're special, in a crazy kinda way. I just-'

Rachel's grip on his hand tightened to the point where Puck thought the bones were powdering to dust.

'Jesus fucking _Christ_ Berry,' Puck gritted out, trying to extract his hand. Rachel held firm.

'You, Noah Puckerman, are going to be my boyfriend,' Rachel told him, tone clear and focused. She narrowed her eyes, taking in the subdued set of Puck's jaw and the understated slump of his shoulders. Rachel had come too far, put too much into _this _to let Puck's martyr complex get in the way of achieving her goals.

Because if Rachel Berry couldn't have Noah Puckerman, no one else could.

'You can't just _tell _someone to be your boyfriend. It doesn't work that way,' Puck countered.

'I can and I will. Unless, of course, you'd prefer it if I found someone else to fill the vacancy?'

'_Fuck no_.'

Rachel nodded her head sharply. 'I will take your vehement expression of distaste for that idea to indicate that you are willing to be my boyfriend.' She beamed up at him and Puck was caught off guard by the way her face lit up. Was that because of him?

'I'm _not _going to be your Broadway bitch Berry,' he muttered sourly. Rachel titled her head to the side, her thick hair spilling behind her shoulder like a fan.

'You don't expect me to be anything but myself. Why would I expect any less from you?'

Her question was so simple but the full force of it struck Puck like a full-bodied tackle.

_She doesn't see anything wrong with the way you are now. Either this broad is really _that _insane, or – just like Pringles – once you Puck, you can't stop._

Puck couldn't help himself. Soon he had slanted his lips over hers in a kiss that wasn't necessarily toe-curling, but it was enough to make Rachel's heart flutter and for Puck to show her just how much her faith in him meant.

Her lips were curved upwards and Puck noticed that she had a dimple in her right cheek.

'Rachel? Puck? Where are you guys?' Mike's voice was jarring. They heard the stomping of feet and a moment later the curtain was being drawn back. '_Oh_. _There _you are.'

_Stupid, smug bastard._

'What Chang?' Puck bit out, aware of Mike's intent gaze on their enjoined hands.

'Mr Schue wants us back in the choir room,' the Asian boy said moderately. Rachel appeared to colour ever so slightly.

'Oh. Of course.' She calmly disentangled her hand from Puck's, shooting her eyes back and forth between Mike and Puck. 'Well, we shouldn't keep Mr Schue waiting,' she announced too brightly. Flashing Puck a meaningful look, she swept past Mike almost nervously.

_Fuck. Left to the sharks._

'Dude, you totally look like you found White Castle,' Mike blurted out the minute Rachel was out of hearing range.

'Whatever,' Puck tried to brush it off. _Rachel Berry is yours. Rachel Berry is yours._

'Brittany is-'

'What the fuck? Are you Gossip Girl or something?' Puck bit out, staring at Rachel who was walking in front of them.

'I wish. Though the whole disembodied voice thing might get lame after a while,' Mike mused.

'Thanks for joining us,' Mr Schue looked annoyed.

'No problemo Mr Schue,' Puck replied, offering the New Directions chair a lopsided grin. Mike made a beeline towards Brittany, who was nudging Kurt in the shoulder. Puck spotted the empty seat beside Rachel. She was looking at him hopefully, expectantly.

Puck threw himself down next to her, tossing an arm over her shoulder and lightly easing her into his side.

Mr Schue faltered slightly at this before resuming his speech about their set list for Sectionals. The teacher didn't seemed to notice how the rest of Glee was staring at the two of them, open-mouthed.

Puck found he didn't care.

After all, Rachel had placed her head on his chest and a hand on his knee. Her touch was feather light and Puck found himself reaching over to touch it.

**Hands, touchin' hands  
Reachin' out, touchin' me, touchin' you.**

Puck thought Neil Diamond couldn't have been more right.

**a/n: **

**Christie: ah! the fanforum is being retarded. i give up! but i hope you guys down at the thread like this update.  
**


	36. Chapter 36

Now that they were together, Rachel wasn't quite sure what to do. The only real relationship she had had was with James and Puck was the complete opposite of her ex-boyfriend. Rachel reflected that the only girlfriend Puck had ever alluded to had been Santana, and judging by the angry glares the Latina had sent her way during Glee yesterday, Rachel didn't think requesting advice from the Cheerio would be welcome. So she had simply decided to follow his lead, which went against every ingrained aspect of her personality.

The rest of Glee had reacted the way Rachel expected them to be. Mike had grinned. Matt had nodded sagely. Mercedes had planted her hands on her hips, giving them both a measuring look before fixing a steely look on Puck.

'Just know the minute you start trippin' and actin' like Justin Bobby, I'ma cut you Mohawk,' the black girl had said rather seriously. Puck had rolled his eyes but had made sure to position Rachel between the two of them.

Kurt had raised an imperious eyebrow and muttered something about catching up to their own reality. Brittany had fluttered around excitedly, grasping Mike's hand as she flashed Rachel a beaming smile. Quinn had looked at Puck sadly – which had been extremely confusing – and Finn? Finn had given the new couple an inscrutable look before disappearing out the door.

Rachel thought she had glimpsed a bit of hurt on the quarterback's face and she didn't understand why it was there. Finn had made it quite clear to her that the two of them would never be, not to mention the times he had abused her feelings for him as if it were nothing more than a means to an end. Finn Hudson did not have the right to hate her for moving on. He had a girlfriend and a child on the way.

_And also because he'll never look at me the same way he looks at Quinn._

Puck had driven her home after Glee yesterday. They had walked to his truck with his arm slung around her shoulder. She had fidgeted inside the cab restlessly during the drive, sliding her glance towards her boyfriend when he didn't say anything. Rachel wanted to ask him what to do now, what were they _supposed _to do, but she didn't want to seem so…inexperienced. So when he'd pulled up to her driveway and cast his hooded eyes on her, she'd bitten her lip and waited.

A beat, then a few more.

Her brow furrowed. This was the part where he kissed her goodbye, she was sure of it.

When it was clear nothing was going to happen, she huffed and twisted the passenger door open. Puck was pulling out her trolley bag from the bag, stepping out of the driver's side and coming to stand beside her.

'So…I guess I'll pick you up tomorrow morning then?' He'd asked, all detachment and indifference. Rachel gritted her teeth together and nodded. When Puck leaned down to press a quick kiss to her cheek, it was if all her extremities froze at the affectionate gesture.

'Yeah. See you tomorrow.' Rachel feasted on the sight of a nervous Puck and gave him a shy wave as he pulled away from the curb.

The morning dawned bright and clear. Downing her banana and flax seed shake with increased vigour, Rachel jumped onto her elliptical with a new-found sense of confidence. There was no paper pasted to the column of her bed post this time. Her goal today was simply to _relish _the new chapter she had managed to turn in her short life. Today was the day that the _world _would know how Noah Puckerman was _hers_.

When Puck arrived at her house promptly on time (he was a few minutes late but Rachel was feeling particularly magnanimous today and so didn't find it necessary to remind him of the virtues of punctuality), she handed him the thermos and butter croissant somewhat hesitantly.

'This for me?' He seemed surprised and his fingers brushed against hers.

'Well yes. I wasn't sure if you would have had breakfast yet and you mentioned a few times that you often go without. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, you know, and-'

He leaned over and pressed his lips against hers.

'Thanks babe,' he told her, already taking a large bite of the bread. He grabbed her trolley bag, the croissant hanging out of his mouth as he tucked the thermos under his arm.

'You're welcome,' she called out faintly, hurrying after him.

When they arrived at school, she stood at the entrance of McKinley. Puck swallowed some of the hot chocolate Rachel (_his girlfriend_) had given him, noticing the way she was worrying her lip and how her knuckles were bone white against the handle of her bag. She tilted her head his way, the French braid she had twisted her hair into peeking out behind her arm.

'Is it alright if we walk in together?' She asked so softly that Puck thought she hadn't spoken at all. Digesting her words, he capped the thermos and tossed it into his truck before locking the door. Rachel was usually so brash and determined to get what she wanted that often times it was difficult to remember the insecurity that lurked behind that façade. She didn't show it very often and Puck thought it was kind of awesome that he was one of the few people she let in behind her so-called iron curtain.

Rolling his eyes, Puck nudged her shoulder as he started towards the double doors.

'Rach, stop being _retarded_,' was all he said. He heard her small feet hurry to catch up with him. Seeing some people stop and stare when they noticed Puck and Rachel walk in together, Puck reigned in the impulse to raise his eyes heavenward.

'Noah?' Again with the meek, soft voice. Frowning ever so slightly, Puck casually reached over and grabbed her hand. The smooth skin slid against his like silk and for a moment Puck marveled at how _little _Rachel actually was. When she got on stage it seemed as if her presence filled the room, her voice making her seem larger than life.

_Dude, she's totally got cute hands._

_Fucking hell. Did I actually just think _that?

She squeezed back and out of the corner of his eye, he caught the grin on her face.

Oh yeah. He was _so _the man.

'Sup?' He said towards one of the football players, who was looking at him as if he had sprouted a third head.

'Puckerman,' Daniels greeted back somewhat neutrally. Puck didn't stop to think about his reaction, the feel of Rachel's hand in his attracting much of his attention. Though he did hear a few people say something about a new student, though Puck didn't catch a glimpse of anyone he hadn't seen before the rest of the day. Then again, McKinley may feel like a fishbowl at times but it was still a big school.

It was only during Glee, when he was sitting next to Rachel, that Puck realized how _natural _being with Rachel was.

And it scared the ever-living crap out of him.

Not because being with Rachel was a bad thing. In fact, Puck had never felt more sure about anything in his seventeen years (the others being that he wanted his kid to know that Puck had loved her, that Drizzle was _never _going to happen and that Eli Puckerman was a douche). Rachel still droned on about anything Glee or music-related and Puck still nodded his head at the appropriate times. They both exchanged snide remarks.

_She was still pretty much the only one who saw something decent in him._

They made out. Constantly.

(What? He was a teenage boy. He had _needs_. Plus, who knew how fucking flexible Rachel was? That shit was ten thousand kinds of _bad_ in a entirely good way)

What set him on edge was that it was too good to be true. Good things _never _happened to him. For instance the one time he had slept with a girl he thought he had some kind of feelings for, he'd knocked her up and made her hate him for effectively ruining her life. Quinn seemed to have softened towards him in recent weeks but Puck wasn't holding his breath. Yeah, he could see why she didn't want to have anything to do with him. Every time she looked at Puck, all she could see was a mistake with consequences.

Rachel was humming quietly under her breath, sheet music splayed out on her lap. Puck slouched down further in his seat, trying to ignore the hostile vibes Finn was sending his way and leaning his head towards Rachel. His cheek brushed against her hair and he focused on the tune, letting the sound overpower his mind.

'Streisand, _cherie_? Really?' Kurt's question forced Puck back to the choir room.

'I happen to consider her a staple alongside Liza and Idina,' Rachel remarked absently, making a notation as she bit her tongue.

'Can I just say that I find it incredibly attractive that Puck can't seem to keep his hands off you? Here I thought Rachel would have to negotiate that aspect rather forcefully was well,' Kurt said with a smug smile on his face.

_Oh _hell _no. No way in fucking hell am I letting how we actually got together get out. _

Glancing over towards Mike, Puck realized the Asian boy was giving him a triumphant smirk.

_That dude is _actually _Gossip Girl. I'm so going to "xoxo" his flat, Asian ass._

'Bite me Beyonce,' Puck replied. 'We all know Berry completely succumbed to my badassness.'

'Yes. The very sight of Noah's guns made me quiver,' Rachel retorted dryly, eyes never leaving the staff paper.

Kurt made a sound in the back of his throat, his reply dying on his lips when Mr Schue entered the room. The moderately dark look on their teacher's face made Puck stiffen and straighten up.

'Mr Schue? Is something the matter?' Rachel asked, neatly placing the score sheets into her bag though she kept her eyes trained on the New Directions chair.

'Quinn came to see me today,' Mr Schue started. Puck felt his body stiffen.

_Is it the baby? Is Drizzle alright?_

'She came to talk to you today?' Finn asked, sounding surprised.

'Will someone _please _inform me what is going on,' Rachel pressed, snatching herself away from Puck's semi-embrace and swiveling her gaze back and forth between the quarterback and Mr Schue. Finn glanced at his Spanish teacher, who nodded his curly-haired head.

'With the baby and stuff, we both thought it'd be easier if Quinn eased off on the dancing,' Finn announced, fidgeting in his seat. 'The doctor told her to take it easy and not, like, stress her body.'

Puck narrowed his eyes.

'Does this mean we have to find a new member?' Brittany asked. 'Because I totally support Quinn just, like, standing still and looking pretty but that gets kinda dull after a while.'

'Mr Schue,' Rachel cut in, taking charge of the situation. 'Do you think its pertinent we invest in a new member this close to Sectionals?'

Mr Schue blew out a breath, rubbing a hand through his hair.

'We've gotta face reality guys. Quinn's going to get bigger and _maybe_,' he stressed the word, 'further down the line she's not going to be able to practice or get up on stage, or even want to. As much as it kills me to say this, I think finding someone new might not be such a bad idea.'

'What? We're kicking her out?' Puck felt himself getting angry. 'You're kidding right?'

'No Puck. Quinn still has her place in Glee,' Mr Schue assured him. 'It's a contingency plan.'

'We can't just find someone behind a glass wall that says "Break in Case of Emergency",' Artie offered.

'It's going to be difficult but I believe we have something that might solve all your problems-'

A knock at the door made Mr Schue pause. Glancing enquiringly back at the rest of Glee, Mr Schue went over towards the wooden door.

'You know we'd never ostracize Quinn, right?' Rachel whispered to Puck. Puck didn't say anything, hooking his pinky over hers.

_She didn't leave because of you. _

Rachel was trying to crane her neck to see around Mr Schue.

'Who do you think that is?' She posed, Puck shrugging in response. When the New Directions chair did step aside, Rachel felt the breath leave her body.

_No. It couldn't possibly be. _

A boy shuffled in behind the New Directions chair, the baggy jeans and oversized shirt shadowing his frame.

'Guys, I think we may have found a solution. Meet Jose Navarro,' Mr Schue told them, clapping his hands together.

'Yo! It is short and stacked!' The clothes were still the same but Rachel saw the way the corners of his eyes folded and just _knew _that it really was Jose.

_What the hell did he just say?_ Puck thought.

'Did he just call Miss Thang _stacked_?' Mercedes asked in disbelief.

'Jose!' Rachel's chiding voice didn't lessen the irritation Puck could feel snaking through him. 'I absolutely abhor that title. I thought we discussed how degrading it was?'

'Ain' bad if it's true mamacita,' Jose shrugged, showing what looked like ink on the skin of his neck. 'Been a while girl. How you been?' Jose looked over her shoulder at the rest of Glee, who were cutting their gazes back and forth between Rachel, Jose and a murderous-looking Puck.

'Rachel? You know Jose?' Mr Schue questioned.

'Yes I do,' was all she offered before leaping off her chair and embracing the newcomer. Puck watched as Jose wrapped his arms around her without hesitation, murmuring something into Rachel's ear that made her laugh.

_Fuck, _Puck thought, _I just knew shit was going to happen._

**a/n: still not too sure about this chapter but oh well. You guys let me know. this is your present under the tree.**

**And babs08 – I worked in short and stacked!**

**And please check out the sidestory to this series called "North: The Outtakes" where the other members of Glee have their say about our favourite couple. Including Mike, Matt and Brit.**

**Reviews for both stories = faster updates.**

**Happy Holidays everyone!**


	37. Chapter 37

**a/n: no knowledge of county or the US school system. Singapore follows the British one with a supremely Asian twist so feel free to correct me.**

**And my Christmas present should be more reviews **

**GO READ "NORTH: THE OUTTAKES" NOW!**

**Song is "Dear Maria, Count Me In" by All Time Low**

**Lyric Key:**

**Jose**

_**Rachel**_

**Together**

**This chapter is dedicated to Tigers Like Red Blood. Happy birthday!**

Rachel Berry hadn't always been the way she was. She thought people assumed she simply arrived at McKinley with her gold stars and big voice and _begged _to be picked on for being different. The cruelty teenagers could inflict on each other was still something she was trying to wrap her head around, especially when she remembered Kralownsky.

She had transferred to Lima last year when her fathers had finished their contract down in California. San Joaquin county had been relatively similar to Ohio, Rachel mused. Daddy enjoyed the suburbs and always made it a point to settle in an area with neatly trimmed hedges and sprinklers on the lawn. The local high school at San Joaquin, though, had been a vastly different experience from McKinley.

The first time she had met Jose had been during a tutoring session. It had been a few months in and Rachel had just started finding her footing in Spartan High. When she had clapped eyes on his baggy clothing and dark scowl, Rachel could admit to being a little intimidated.

'**You Berry?' Jose had asked, looming above her. Rachel swallowed before nodding her head.**

'**You're Jose Navarro I assume?' She asked, toying with the edge of her math textbook.**

'**The one and the same **_**mami**_**.' She watched as he lifted the worn brown rucksack over his shoulder and dropped it beside him with a loud bang. Whispers about Jose were rampant throughout Spartan High. When her lab partner had discovered who Mrs Armstrong had assigned to her, her eyebrows had disappeared up into her bright red hair.**

'**Jose's nothing but trouble Rachel. You better watch yourself around him,' Arianne had whispered harshly, eyes flitting about as if to make sure no one was listening. 'He runs with this biker gang and just yesterday someone told me that her sister's friend told her that he's this complete druggie.'**

**Looking across the table at Jose, Arianne's words echoed across her mind as Rachel cleared her throat.**

'**I understand that you're having some trouble with math?' Rachel asked, pushing up the sleeve of her shirt. He tilted his head and she glimpsed what looked like a word etched into the skin of his neck.**

'**Whose Amber?' She'd asked innocently. Jose frowned, tugging his collar up.**

'**None of your business white girl.'**

**Rachel felt her eyes widen and she leaned back in her seat, biting her lip.**

'**I apologize if I offended you in some way. If it's a private matter I completely understand your reticence about…' She trailed off when he started chuckling.**

'_**Damn**_**. People weren't kiddin' when they said you talk **_**way**_** too much.'**

'**Oh,' she murmured, flashing her gaze down. **_**What else did they say about her?**_

**Jose rolled his eyes. 'Listen up Berry, you want to survive out there you gotta realize that people talk smack all the time. Hell, half the crap people say about me ain't true. Don't worry about it.'**

**Rachel felt his words evoke a smile on her face. Jose simply shook his head, head turning towards his textbook.**

'**Now can we get off Dr Phil and try and make some kinda sense of this?' He asked.**

It had been the start of an unlikely friendship. Jose had been the first person to make her realize that you should never judge a book by its cover. The hour they spent every other day after school gradually became something more that both came to rely on. While there had been an initial uproar at Spartan when Rachel had had lunch with Jose and his friends one day, soon talk quieted down and it wasn't an uncommon occurrence to see one without the other.

He had been the first _real _friend she'd ever had.

'Looks like you finally grew into that big as voice of yours,' Jose said, bringing Rachel back from her nostalgia. Rachel unwrapped her arms from around his face, her cheeks colouring. Thirteen and fourteen had been an awkward time for Rachel. Nothing about her had been remotely attractive and despite her father's telling her it was all part of growing up, Rachel had spent countless hours bemoaning how her hair refused to cooperate to an otherwise uninterested Jose. He'd started hollering short and stacked at her, muttering something about reverse psychology.

'I can't comprehend that you're actually _here_,' Rachel marveled, studying his black eyes and tanned skin. His head was still shaved and she took a moment to marvel at the fact that while he still looked the same, once Rachel studied him long enough it was easy to spot the extra lines around his eyes and mouth that hinted at something darker.

'Sorry to cut this reunion short but can you even sing?' Santana asked, lifting a perfectly plucked brow. Rachel spun around, grabbing Jose's hand and facing the Latina.

'_Of course _he can sing,' she announced, as if the very idea that he couldn't was entirely ludicrous.

'Would you mind doing your audition piece in front of the rest of us?' Mr Schue questioned, smiling slightly. Jose lifted his shoulders casually.

Puck couldn't tear his eyes away from Rachel and Jose's entwined hands.

'Ria, you mind helpin' me out?'

Rachel's eyes lit up like someone had handed her a Tony. 'Need you ask?'

'Just follow my lead. You'll know it,' Jose told her, facing them. Puck saw Rachel's hand fall away and the growling in his chest faded. A bit.

**I got your picture  
I'm coming with you  
Dear Maria, count me in  
There's a story at the bottom of this bottle  
And I'm the pen**

**When the lights go off  
I wanna watch the way you  
Take the stage by storm  
The way you wrap those boys around your finger**

Rachel felt her heart lift, remembering the day they had heard the song on the radio. Jose had turned to her and said that this was their song because he was going to hitch his star right alongside hers.

(There was also the fact that Maria was her _dream_ role, a moniker Jose had readily adopted as her less objectifying nickname)

**  
**_**Go on and play the leader  
'Cause you know it's what you're good at  
The low road for the fast track  
Make every second last  
**_**  
****'Cause I got your picture  
I'm coming with you  
Dear Maria, count me in  
There's a story at the bottom of this bottle  
And I'm the pen  
Make it count when I'm the one  
Who's selling you out  
'Cause it feels like stealing hearts  
Calling your name from the crowd  
****  
**_**Then in the field you'll be the show girl of the home team  
I'll be the narrator  
Telling another tale of the American dream  
**_**  
I see your name in lights  
We can make you a star  
Girl, we'll take the world by storm  
It isn't that hard**

**'Cause I got your picture  
I'm coming with you  
Dear Maria, count me in  
There's a story at the bottom of this bottle  
And I'm the pen  
Make it count when I'm the one  
Who's selling you out  
'Cause it feels like stealing hearts  
Calling your name from the crowd  
Whoa...  
****  
Ha ha..**

_**Take a breath, don't it sound so easy  
**_**Never had a doubt  
Now I'm going crazy watching from the floor  
**_**Take a breath and let the rest come easy  
**_**Never settle down  
'Cause the cash flow leaves me always wanting more**

**'Cause I got your picture  
I'm coming with you  
Dear Maria, count me in  
There's a story at the bottom of this bottle  
And I'm the pen  
Make it count when I'm the one  
Who's selling you out  
'Cause it feels like stealing hearts  
Calling your name from the crowd  
****  
'Cause I got your picture  
I'm coming with you  
Dear Maria, count me in  
There's a story at the bottom of this bottle**

_Fuck. This guy is actually good, _Puck thought darkly. _Though no way in hell is he as good as me._

Mr Schue seemed pleasantly surprised as well and Puck thought Kurt was fanning himself.

And Rachel? His girlfriend was beaming at Jose like the sun was shining out of his ass.

'Bro, I think you've met your match in the badass throwdown,' Mike whispered into his ear. Puck glared at the Asian boy, who lifted his hands up in surrender.

'That was good Jose,' Mr Schue told the boy. 'I'm surprised you want to join Glee. We're not exactly high profile.'

'Yeah well, Rachel wouldn't shut up about it in her emails,' Jose offered as an explanation.

'Okay then,' Mr Schue said, clapping Jose on the shoulder lightly. 'Welcome to Glee.'

When Rachel returned to her seat next to him, Puck made sure to sling an arm around her shoulder and press her against his side. Jose furrowed his brow as Puck smirked at him over Rachel's head.

_Marking my territory dude. Sign says "Do Not Enter". _

'Noah?' Rachel asked hesitantly and Puck was glad when the Spanish teacher spoke.

'So now that we've managed to solve that problem,' Mr Schue was still staring at Jose as if he were the messiah, not quite believing their luck. 'I was about to say that I'm hoping to get us into the _Thunderclap _this year.'

'The yearbook?' Mercedes wrinkled her nose. 'I don't know Mr Schue.'

'Look I know the kids around here don't understand why you're in Glee, but c'mon!' Mr Schue grinned at them. Everyone looked hesitant to return his gesture but Rachel squirmed in her seat.

'I agree Mr Schue. This would be a perfect opportunity to raise the profile of our association,' Rachel chipped in. No one else seemed to share her sentiment. 'Isn't that right Noah?'

_Shit. You've got to be fucking kidding me._

Caught between a rock and a hard place, Puck offered a noncommittal sound in the back of his throat. The slight shadow of hurt that coloured Rachel's face almost made him recant. _Almost_.

_Being part of Glee is enough solidarity. No way am I offering myself up like some kind of sacrificial lamb willingly._

The guys on the football team were slowly starting to show their discontent. Jones and Ketterley had made their opinion known about the rare slushie facials that everyone on the team had been receiving. Finn's authority as quarterback was shaky at best, and Puck was glad that it only took one look from him to deter any kind of backtalk. Mike and Matt, alongside Puck, had been labeled pariahs since their so-called defection to Glee and Puck knew the barbed insults from their teammates were slowly wearing thin. Plastering his face for posterity alongside the Glee club would extinguish any hope Puck had of holding on to his popularity.

_You're dating the female lead. Heck man, have you forgotten you _are _the lead?_

Puck had meant what he had said about not caring what others said about his relationship with Rachel. They could all kiss his finely toned ass for all he cared. He was dating Rachel Berry, period. He hadn't made it this far to punk out.

_Then you know this is gonna be important to Rachel. _

He did know. But, as shallow and superficial as it was, Puck _liked _being popular. Sure the adulation and fear were sometimes fake and at times imposed, but Puck had spent the majority of his life being told he wasn't good enough by his father. Was it so wrong to _want _to be at the top when it felt this good? He made girls swoon and babies coo after all, and it was only right that he maintain his throne.

Mr Schue glanced up at the clock before shaking his head.

'We'll talk about this next rehearsal alright? And Jose, welcome.'

Rachel was standing stiffly by his side and Puck reached to brush her hair.

'Hey Ria, you need a ride?' Jose asked. Puck opened his mouth, about to tell the boy that Rachel already had one when the girl in question spoke.

'That would be lovely Jose. Maybe we could stop by and see your mother?' Rachel's words felt like a kick in the gut.

'Rach,' Puck started. Rachel nodded her head at Jose, who gave Puck a suspicious look before filtering out with the rest of the club. Soon it was just the two of them standing in the choir room and Puck fidgeted.

'Look, you know-'

Rachel sighed, the sound tired. 'I don't want to discuss this right now Noah.'

_At least she isn't calling you Puck._

Taking in the way her eyes didn't meet his and how her shoulders were curled in defensively, Puck rubbed a hand through his mohawk. Sucking in a breath through his teeth, he bobbed his head.

'Yeah, okay. I'll pick you up tomorrow?'

Rachel inclined her head and Puck leaned down, heartened when Rachel didn't pull back. Her brown eyes rose to meet his and he watched as her lashes pillowed against her pale cheek when she blinked languidly. His nose bumped against hers as he pressed a chaste kiss, leaning his forehead against hers for a second before straightening.

'I'll see you tomorrow Noah,' Rachel told him softly, grasping his hand briefly before disappearing through the doors. Puck waited a beat before slumping down into a chair, head in his hands. The clock ticked and he let the repetitive noise thud inside his head.

When he finally got up and headed towards his truck, there was only one thought in his mind.

_At least my guns are totally bigger than Jose's._


	38. Chapter 38

Rachel didn't know why Puck's response had come as much of a shock to her. Nonetheless, she had thought that just _maybe _being with her would inspire some kind of change inside him.

_He doesn't expect you to change. How can you expect the same thing?_

Shaking her head, Rachel resisted the urge to stomp her feet all the way towards Puck's truck when she remembered what Jose had said to her after Glee yesterday.

'**So that was Puck, huh?' Her friend had asked somewhat nonchalantly. Rachel coloured slightly, remembering how she had spoken of Puck in her emails.**

'**Yes,' Rachel replied, peering over her shoulder at Kurt and Mercedes who were watching her and Jose enraptured. 'I hope they didn't give you a hard time.'**

**Jose shrugged his shoulders. 'S'okay. I'm the new kid right? Figures they'd be curious.'**

'**They're probably shocked that I even have a friend,' Rachel muttered under her breath before feeling slightly guilty for the thought. Despite the closer relationship she now possessed with her peers, Rachel couldn't forget the times when they had ostracized and alienated her. She could forgive but she couldn't find it within herself to forget.**

'**What?' Jose asked and Rachel shook her head. **

'**Nothing. I just…I cannot believe that you're **_**here **_**in Lima,' Rachel said, staring at Jose who flashed her a grin. 'Why didn't you say anything?'**

'**Surprise?' Jose raised an eyebrow. 'Mum didn't even know she was getting the job over here. So when she did we pretty much packed up and left.'**

'**Really?' Rachel wrinkled her brow. 'It wasn't hard leaving everything behind?'**

**Jose chuckled wryly. 'Ain't nothing left for me back at Cali Ria.' He was rubbing his neck over the name Amber tattooed on his neck. 'Most of the crew are either in jail or waiting to become a deadbeat. I ain't goin' down that road, you know?'**

'**Why Jose,' Rachel remarked, feeling something warm spread throughout her chest. 'It looks like you've grown up.'**

'**Whatever,' Jose replied, rolling his eyes. 'Havin' common sense ain't nothing to crow over. Besides, you gonna tell me what's up between you and Puck?'**

**Feeling her previous irritation crawl over her, Rachel glanced to the side. Hefting her trolley bag up so she could descend the stairs, she barely reacted with surprise when Jose reached over and plucked it from her grip.**

'**If you must know, **_**Noah **_**is my boyfriend,' she claimed proudly. **

'**Guy's got a stupid as haircut.'**

'**Be that as it may,' Rachel bristled defensively. 'It is a fairly recent occurrence and I'd appreciate you to respect my relationship with him.'**

**Jose hummed in response.**

'_**Josiah**_**,' Rachel emphasized his full name. **

'**Yeah, yeah.' His answer made Rachel want to smack him upside the head. 'So the reason you're mad at your boyfriend is because?'**

'**I'm not**_** mad **_**at Noah,' Rachel corrected, tracing the line of Jose's back. 'I'm simply…disappointed.'**

'**Because he doesn't want to get his picture taken?'**

**Rachel sucked in a breath. It wasn't because Puck refused to get his picture taken; it was because Puck didn't want his picture taken with **_**her**_**.**

**Or at least that's what she thought the problem was.**

'**Jose, you must understand that the social strictures of McKinely aren't as forgiving as those at Spartan,' Rachel began, drawing to a close beside the gleaming motorcycle. 'You still have your bike!'**

**Jose flashed her a look that said **_**well, duh. **_**Remembering the care he had lavished on the vehicle during her time in San Joaquin, Rachel couldn't say she was shocked that Jose had somehow managed to cart his bike along with him to Ohio.**

'**You're a good girl **_**mami**_**,' Jose had told her as she clambered up behind him, tugging her skirt down as much as she could. Noticing her predicament, she accepted the jacket from Jose gratefully and tied it around her waist. The handle of her bag dug into her back from where Jose had tied it down.**

'**But sometimes,' Jose continued, kicking up the stand and starting the engine. 'You expect too much from people.'**

_Was she expecting too much from Puck?_

'Hey,' Puck greeted her. Rachel nodded in reply, passing over the thermos and scone she had brought with her. Puck glanced down at the food, blinked, and then looked up at her.

'It's breakfast,' Rachel reminded him. A moment where Puck simply stared at her before he bit into the scone with relish. Seeing him devour her peace offering with gusto, Rachel gave him an affectionate smile before fixing her eyes outside the window. The truck pulled away from her driveway and there was a few minutes of silence punctured by the radio before Puck spoke.

'So, you and Jose huh?' He started. Rachel glanced over at him, attempting to decipher the tone of his voice. Puck felt his knuckles tighten over the steering wheel, the scone sitting in his stomach uneasily.

'I'm assuming you'd like to know my relationship with Jose?'

'That'd be nice, yeah,' he replied somewhat sarcastically. _First Finn, then James, and now this dude? Fucking hell._

'Oh Noah,' Rachel's tone was soft and he felt one of her small hands rest of his bicep. The muscles underneath relaxed slightly. 'Jose is simply an old friend of mine from California. We attended Spartan High together when I lived in California prior to my attendance at McKinley.'

'You touch all your friends so damn much?' He muttered under his breath, not wanting Rachel to hear his words. But, of course, she did.

'_Honestly _Noah,' she said bitingly. 'I have not spent this much time getting you to be my significant other only to see it dissolve because you cannot control your jealousy-'

'I'm _not _jealous,' Puck retorted at once. Because he _wasn't_. He just didn't like Rachel touching other guys that weren't him. That was all. 'I'm a fucking _stud_. Jealousy is for pussies.'

'Right,' Rachel's reply was clipped and Puck glanced at her out of the corner of his eye to see her face set into a skeptical look. 'Be that as it may, I thought that you would know by now that I would never be unfaithful towards you.'

The hurt in her voice made his chest constrict. Quinn and his baby made the hold vice-like.

'Yeah, I know,' he mumbled, feeling like an ass when he felt the thermos brush against his elbow.

'And, of course, I don't have to worry about you being unfaithful as well.' Though she said the words with conviction, Puck detected the quaver in her voice that hinted at her uncertainty.

This pissed him off for some reason. He'd admit that his reputation as a cougar magnet and a badass didn't exactly paint him as a paragon of commitment. And okay when he'd been with Santana that hadn't stopped him from sexting that red-headed Cheerio whose name he couldn't remember.

But Rachel was _different_, he told himself. She wasn't like any of those other girls. When she looked at him she didn't just see the fine male specimen that Puck knew he was. Rachel looked deeper inside and saw _Noah_, which freaked the fuck out of him and also made him want to grasp her hand in his and _not let go_. She was so, so _small _and yet so _big _at the same time. She looked at him sometimes like she'd put him on a pedestal and Puck didn't quite know how to deal with that.

'Why'd I bother with anyone else when I have the hottest piece of Jewish ass right here next to me?' He told her with a leer. She fluttered her eyes, her lips thinning before her eyes creased and a soft smile pulled at her mouth. Rachel closed her eyes and leaned over and Puck met her halfway. He pulled at her top lip and nearly groaned when Rachel pressed his neck, the other hand raking through his hair. Her tongue swept against his lip seeking entrance, hesitant.

_Fuck._

Feeling his jeans grow tight, Puck reluctantly pulled back, smoothing the baby hairs at her temple.

'Noah?' She asked, eyes half-dazed.

'We need to stop.' _Fuck, was he panting?_

'Why? I thought you liked it when I…' She trailed off and Puck couldn't decide whether to feel embarrassed or not. 'Oh,' she squeaked. 'I…that is-'

'Let's just get to class,' he ground out, trying not to sound tense. Rachel didn't reply, scrambling out the passenger door and biting her lip as he grabbed her trolley bag from the back. Settling it down, he struggled with the handle before it shot upwards.

Rachel giggled, covering her mouth when Puck shot her a look. Without a thought he took her hand in his, enjoying the way the pads of her fingers dug into the space between the knuckles of his own hand.

'Yo Ria!' The shout made them both twist their heads and Puck frowned when he caught sight of Jose heading towards them.

_She said he was a friend. Friend, Puckerman, nothing more._

Still she didn't have to look so damn happy to see the other guy, did she?

'Good morning Jose!' Rachel chirped, hand still in his. Puck took some comfort from that, tightening his hold ever so slightly. He watched as Jose took in their entwined hands, winging up an eyebrow but not saying a word.

Rachel fidgeted, cutting her gaze back and forth between the two. Laughing nervously, she spoke.

'Jose, this is my boyfriend Noah Puckerman. Noah, this is my friend Jose Navarro,' Rachel introduced them both, shooting each boy a meaningful look.

'Call me Puck.' Jose darted his eyes between Rachel and Puck before inclining his head.

'So Ria's mentioned some things about you,' Jose started, hands still shoved in his pockets.

_You're shittin' me, right?_

'Really?' Was all Puck said.

'All of them _good_, of course. Isn't that _right _Jose?' Rachel interjected forcefully. Both boys stared at each other, neither willing to glance down at the petite girl.

The bell rung and Puck heard Rachel sigh with relief.

'Well, we wouldn't want to be late to class. After all, punctuality is a highly important trait that we should all possess,' Rachel rambled, pulling on Puck's hand. 'Jose, I shall see you during second period?'

Jose muttered something inaudible before saluting them by pressing two fingers to his forehead.

'Nice meetin' you _amigo_,' Jose said, meeting Puck's eye before walking away.

'See Noah. You have nothing to worry about,' Rachel's voice derailed his line of thought. Puck looked around and realized that they were inside the halls, students rushing towards homeroom.

'What do you have second period?' Puck's question seemed to catch her off-guard.

'Are you being serious?' At Puck's blank look, Rachel gave him a disapproving scowl. 'We _both _have Math second period Noah.'

That explained it. Puck usually snuck off to the Nurse's office to take a power nap.

'Huh,' he said, realizing that they were outside Rachel's homeroom door. A few students stared avidly at them but Puck didn't notice.

'I'll see you at lunch?'

Puck leaned down and pressed his lips against hers before shifting his feet at the discomfort he felt after.

_Too soon. _

'See you babe.'

Rachel grinned at the pet name and Puck almost rolled his eyes. _Almost._

When second period rolled around, he ignored the shocked look Mr Russell sent his way as he plopped down next to Rachel. His girlfriend was looking at him as if in shock, Jose leaning back in his chair with a disinterested expression on his face.

'Noah?' Rachel said slowly.

'Sup guys,' Puck replied indifferently. Catching sight of the amused smirk on Jose's face, Puck opened his exercise book with more force than was necessary.

_Like hell I'm leaving her alone with this Weevil wannabe._


	39. Chapter 39

Rachel had spent the rest of the day discovering that Puck hadn't really understood what she had said about her relationship with Jose this morning.

His sudden interest in education was the most obvious clue. While Rachel understood that Puck was in no way dumb, she was also aware about his views on public schooling. Namely that his system involved a lot of self-learning. She had gotten a glimpse of his AP English and Literature homework during his suspension but had staved off the lecture about applying himself. Of course she had wondered for a moment whether it was even possible for him to comprehend the intricacies of Jane Austen but had pushed the thought aside rather guiltily. Rachel had often lambasted others for judging her solely on appearances and yet here she was doing the same.

Perhaps she would revisit that avenue later on.

In any case, Rachel decided to suffer through Puck's rather lavish attention. If this was the way Puck would achieve some peace of mind, then so be it. Besides, she would never admit it but having her boyfriend draw his fingers up and down her arm wasn't entirely a _bad _thing.

'So I spoke with Figgins and he's agreed to give us a quarter page,' Mr Schue told them during rehearsal, though Rachel could tell that he wasn't entirely pleased with the Principal's decision. 'Which means that all of you can't be in it. It should be big enough for two, I think.'

Puck's arm brushed against the back of her neck briefly before Rachel leaned forward, bracing her hands on her knees.

_I need to be in that photo_, was the only thing flashing through her mind.

Perhaps one of Rachel's secondary fears was being forgotten. She remembered a dream she'd had halfway through middle school, where she'd walked through the halls in her Snow White costume (that had been her first school production and Rachel was sure that moment when the spotlight had flooded over her was when she had _really _decided she belonged on stage). She'd passed through the corridors, wondering where everyone was. A giant poster advertising the play had swum up before her and where her name should have been, in it's place was a large black box. Rachel had woken up in a sweat, one hand clutching Jeffrey the giraffe and the other over her mouth.

That had been the day Rachel Berry had decided to be _remembered_.

Currently Rachel was a member (perhaps mostly in name, but so long as she was billed in the by line she was satisfied) of numerous clubs throughout McKinley.

(Admittedly joining the Black Students Association had been a bit of an uphill battle. After primly informing them that she didn't _see _colour, Rachel had said that she was half-African American after pulling out the family picture tucked neatly into her wallet. They had grudgingly accepted her after that)

But being recognized as part of Glee was more important than anything. This club was what _made _her something other than a school freak. These people around her were more than friends, when she thought about it. They were a kind of misfit family, all drawn together despite their differences and forming a bond that people outside of their circle couldn't even begin to comprehend. Rachel looked around and took in the subdued expressions on everyone's face at Mr Schue's words, and a few of them avoided the New Directions chair's eyes when he asked for volunteers.

_Being part of Glee is more than having my picture taken. Glee has let me become who I am right now and if being ridiculed for being proud of that is what it will take, I will be more than happy to bear that burden._

Rachel's hand shot up into the air and Mr Schue's shoulders came down an inch.

'Mr Schue, I will be more than happy to be part of the picture,' Rachel stated firmly, ignoring the tense set of Puck's body beside her.

'I was thinking that the two leads should be in it,' Mr Schue continued, flicking his eyes toward Puck who frowned.

_Don't expect too much. He's already proven himself more than adequately. Just because he doesn't understand why this means so much to you, doesn't mean he doesn't care for you all the same._

She swallowed the faint hint of hurt that wormed its way through her and was just about to speak when someone spoke up from the back.

'Mr Schue, I was thinking that maybe I could do it?' Finn suggested and for a moment Rachel held her breath.

_What?_

Quinn appeared stunned and Rachel saw her mouth thin at the edges. Puck offered no answer and merely shrugged when Mr Schue turned his way.

_Why would Finn do that?_

'Are you sure?' Rachel questioned, skeptical. Because if Puck didn't want to do it, why would Finn?

Finn nodded his head, that goofy grin spreading across his face as he caught her gaze. 'Yeah Rach. I'm sure.' He said it with such conviction that Rachel almost believed him.

'Well, alright then. The shoot's going to be at the counselor's office during lunch. So just turn up there and do us proud,' their teacher said, smiling. Rachel couldn't help but reciprocate.

'Of course Mr Schue. I assure you that nothing less than our best will be delivered,' she told him vehemently.

_What the fuck just happened?_

Puck frowned over Rachel's head, watching as Finn headed towards them after Schuester dismissed them for the day.

'Hey Rach,' Finn started and Puck wondered why he was bothered when Rachel didn't immediately dismiss the Frankenteen outright.

_At least he's got the balls to do something you can't._

Puck pushed the thought away savagely, unclenching his fists.

'Finn, thank you for volunteering despite the fact that it was no longer required of you,' Rachel said and wait a minute, was that some kind of slight against him?

'Yeah. I was wondering if I could talk to you. About tomorrow?' Finn glanced over her shoulder at Puck and must have noticed the dark look on his friend's face.

'Yes I believe that a proper strategy should be discussed. Noah, I'll meet you at the truck in a few minutes,' was all Rachel said before she swept out of the room with Finn in tow.

_Saint fucking Finn strikes again_, Puck thought bitterly. He couldn't decide what was worse – the fact that Rachel didn't really feel the need to express her opinion on his reluctance to be in the Glee pictures, or the fact that Finn had once again made him out to be the bad guy.

'You alright man?' Jose's rough timbre made Puck turn towards the Latino. Great, another thorn in his side.

'I'm fine,' Puck bit out, shoving Rachel's forgotten staff paper into his bag haphazardly. She could bitch about the crease marks later, Puck decided. At least then it would seem like she _cared _about what he did.

_Dude, that doesn't even make sense._

'Yeah, I can see that,' Jose's dry remark made Puck's actions a touch more aggressive. Puck didn't answer, throwing his backpack over his shoulder and hefting Rachel's pink bag over to his side.

'Funny as it's been watching you stalk my _mejor amigo _all day because you think I'm some kind of threat,' the other boy started and Puck bit the inside of his cheek. 'Don't go releasin' all that pent up anger on someone who doesn't deserve it.'

_Fuck you._

'I'll keep that in mind,' Puck responded, attempting to keep his tone neutral. Jose sighed and rubbed his head, muttering something under his breath before speaking again.

'Look man, we don't know each other too well. The only thing I know about you so far is that Ria's your girl.' Puck didn't miss the faint note of distaste colouring the other boy's tone. 'The other thing I know is that our girl's always been too nice about seeing the good in other people.'

_She's seen good in the two of us_, was what was left unsaid.

'I got no idea why takin' a picture's such a big deal for you but whatever. Don't get pissed at Ria for wanting this. And don't get pissed because she knows shit about why you don't. She ain't gonna know nothin' till you tell her.'

_When the fuck did this become some warped ass version of Dr Phil?_

'Thanks Maury,' Puck retorted and Jose chuckled.

'Consider yourself lucky that Ria's into you _homes_,' was all Jose said before strolling out of the choir room.

Jose's words stewed inside his head and Puck plastered on a fake smile when Rachel made her way towards his truck, Finn still at her side. The quarterback nodded at Puck and gave Rachel one more smile before disappearing to the other end of the lot.

'Noah? Are you quite alright?' Rachel asked, concerned. Shit. He thought he'd been hiding his inner turmoil so well.

_Tell her why you don't want to be in the photo. _

_And let Jose win?_

'Look babe,' Noah begun when Rachel didn't move. 'You know why I can't be in that picture with you right?'

A pained look flittered across her eyes before disappearing. Rachel nodded tightly.

'Well, while I understand that it has taken immense courage for you to flaunt our relationship so publicly, obviously being immortalized in print would be detrimental-'

'Wait, what?' Puck asked confused.

'Well, you don't want to be photographed with me,' she said matter-of-factly.

'When the fuck did I say that?'

Rachel set her jaw. 'Obviously your clear lack of enthusiasm to be in the _Thunderclap_-'

Puck waved his hands and Rachel faltered.

'It's got nothing to do with being photographed with you.'

'It doesn't?' The perplexed way she said it, as if that had been the main impetus behind his reticence made him ball his fists.

'No. Look,' he sighed heavily, rubbing the back of his neck. 'You know I'm a jerk right? But I'm like a _popular _jerk. And it may sound completely retarded but I _like _being popular.'

'How is being in a Glee club photo detrimental to your popularity?'

'Berry, I got slushied by the fucking _hockey _team. I mean, it was that one time but still. And then I picked Glee over football. Do you have any idea the shit I've been taking from the rest of the team? I'm not giving them an excuse to make me even more of a loser than I already am.' The words came out in a rush and hearing them said out loud, Puck had to admit that it sounded way better in his head.

Rachel blinked. Once, twice, three times.

'I see,' she said. And then didn't say anything after that.

_I see? What the fuck does that mean?_

She was studying him, tilting her head to the side and doing that psychic crap she had claimed one day to possess.

'I cannot admit that I'm disappointed that you would feel the need to accommodate the frivolous whims of the rather superficial social hierarchy here at McKinley, someone has mentioned that I expect too much from people. And while obviously since you are now my boyfriend and I hold an extremely high opinion of you, much of that is based on personal bias and thus prone to exaggeration, I'm pleased that you were comfortable enough with me to tell me the truth.'

'So…does this mean we're cool?' Puck asked slowly. He was in like with the girl and all but sometimes he didn't have a clue what she was saying. He had heard the words _disappointment _and _high opinion _though and for some reason they both tugged at his head and heart.

'Of course Noah.'

But she was a little sad when she said it and Puck wondered why telling the truth suddenly seemed like a bad idea.

**a/n: I so didn't know if this chapter came out good. So let me know.**

**And wow, why do so many of you want Jose to end up with Kurt?**

**And Caroline Berlin, I'm afraid Jose isn't going to be with the person you want him to be. **


	40. Chapter 40

Rachel chewed her lip, glancing at the photographer who kept looking at his watch pointedly.

'I'm sure he'll be here soon,' Rachel offered as a form of placation.

'Look sweetheart, if your guy isn't here within the next five minutes its either a potrait or nothing at all,' the awkward-looking man said, pushing back the thinning hair on his head with an agitated swipe. Rachel bit her lip and nodded, ignoring the pitying look from the school secretary and instead focusing on the door.

_Where was Finn? Maybe he wants to retain his popularity, much like Noah._

The thought lingered in her head bitterly. When Puck had told her the reaon behind his reluctance to be in the Glee club picture, Rachel had wanted to tell him to suck it up. Because in all honesty he had only gotten a cold, frozen drink upended in his face that _one _time and Rachel could say with good authority that Puck didn't really care what people said about him. She had seen firsthand the intimidation tactics that Puck utilized in order to quell discontent and it was highly effective. Justifying his fragile excuse with very little to offer as a form of validation…

She had remained tight-lipped on the ride home and the anxious glances Puck had kept sending her way would have been comical if Rachel hadn't felt like either screaming or crying. She had turned her cheek to him when he had kissed her goodbye and the aggravated sigh Puck had expelled didn't alleviate any of the tension coiled into her small frame. Leaving her phone on silent, Rachel had thrown herself wholeheartedly into her homework and then screened _Anastasia _in the confines of her room. Clutching her plush pig Bacon to her chest, watching Dmitri try to prove himself to Anya made her squeeze Bacon tighter.

_See – he didn't want the money in the end. All he wanted was her love._

_Rachel Berry, it can be safely be said that you are not in love with Noah. Perhaps a very strong feeling of infatuation grounded in the knowledge that you care for him. Yes, that sounds better._

_Anya was nothing more than a means to get him the reward._

_Yes, but being with you doesn't benefit Noah. In fact, truth be told your relationship profits you more than it does him._

_But we like each other. Such things _shouldn't _matter._

_But they do, don't they?_

Needless to say her sleep had not been peaceful.

Puck had arrived promptly this morning to drive her to school (he had sent her a rather curt text message informing her thus).

She hadn't brought him breakfast but she did speak this time.

Puck hadn't spoken at all.

When they arrived at school, he had mumbled something about Tanaka calling an early practice and wandered off. Rachel had stood there in the biting wind and watched him walk away with the feeling that she was doing more harm than good with her actions.

(But shouldn't she be allowed the right to voice her displeasure with the way he was treating her? Much like the way the others often saw fit to criticize her shortcomings? Or was there some kind of exception that made it illegal for her to bear a small, tiny grudge?)

It hadn't made her feel any less of a horrible person and she had attempted to seek Puck out to apologize. But her boyfriend was either extremely well-versed in the art of disappearing or he was ignoring her.

She preferred to believe the former.

By the time lunch had rolled around Rachel had shuffled towards the photography session with a heavy feeling inside her chest, but she was sure that the numerous poses she had perfected in front of the mirror would allow her to take a picture that was nothing if not perfect.

'Three minutes,' the photographer's warning broke her train of thought. Rachel wished he would take his attitude and shove it. And then realized that was an entirely _Puck _thing to contemplate and dug her fingers into the palm of her hand.

Puck was sprinting towards the guidance office, tugging his shirt over his head as a pair of sophomores watched him go by them with wide eyes.

_Fuck this shit. Like hell I'm gonna leave Rachel hanging._

Jose's advice about telling his girl the truth had obviously been some kind of ploy to make him look like some superficial dick in Rachel's eyes. She'd given him the cold shoulder and hadn't answered her phone when he had called last night (he'd tried once or twice. Okay, so maybe six. But _whatever_. No one needed to know that). This morning she'd finally lifted her self-imposed gag order and prattled on about the fucking _weather _and Puck had felt the absence of the hot chocolate and assorted pastry keenly. So he hadn't been all that chartiable when he'd left her by the steps this morning but seriously, could anyone blame him? Puck was pretty sure if it had been any girl _other _than Rachel who was pulling this kind of crap (well, except Quinn, but she was kind of the mother of his child) he would have walked away without a backward glance.

But because it was Rachel, he'd channeled all that negative energy into tackling the stuffing out of whoever had come across his path. Coach hadn't been too impressed and after a verbal beatdown that had Mike and Matt snickering like the bastards they were, Puck had spent the rest of practice running laps while the rest continued with training.

'So Hudson, you want the Hitler moustache or buck teeth?' Ketterley had asked after in the locker room. Puck rolled his eyes to the side, noticing the confused expression on Finn's face.

'What?' _Typical_, Puck thought hearing Finn's response, rolling his eyes.

Ketterley elbowed Uley, who was quite possibly the only other guy who had a bigger ass than him in Ohio, and they both turned towards the quarterback with a sneer.

'Well you know how its tradition for us to make sure those losers know their place. You're one of them now. Figured we at least owed it to you to let you pick what form of-'

Puck watched as Finn's face flooded with colour, becoming a bright tomato-red. Ketterley had barely finished his sentence before he was being pressed up against the bank of lockers by Finn's forearm.

'Shut up!' Finn was close to yelling now. 'You draw anything on me and I'll-'

'You'll what Hudson? The only thing standing between you and a slushie everyday is the fact that you're our quarterback. But take that picture and you and your fallen Queen are free reign,' Ketterley shot back, gasping as Finn applied more pressure.

'I wouldn't do that if I were you,' Puck said casually, stepping out from behind his locker as Uley reached for Finn. 'He isn't the quarterback because of his brains asshole.'

'Why aren't you lining up beside Berry? Banging her not enough to-'

_Fuck no. He did not just say that._

Puck didn't feel the need to hold back when he drove his fist into Uley's face. His teammate stumbled back, his hand coming away wet when he pressed it against his nose.

'What the fuck Puckerman?'

'You speak about Berry like that again and you'll need more than plastic surgery to make that face bearable,' Puck ground out. 'I suggest you two haul your fat asses outta here before I kick _both _your asses.' Finn released Ketterley from his hold and the two boys shot Puck and Finn withering glares as they made their way out of the locker room.

'Thanks,' Finn said and Puck felt this awkward silence press down on them both. Shrugging Puck reached for his shirt.

'I didn't do it for you.'

'Oh,' Finn mumbled. _It was for Rachel_, the unspoken words hung between them like a chasm. Since making their relationship public, Puck had half-expected Finn to march up to him and demand his intentions. Instead the quarterback had remained silent, sending half-angry half-puzzled looks their way.

'Don't let what those losers say get to you,' Puck thought he should say. Finn frowned and mumbled something in response. Puck pulled his shirt over his head, banging his locker close and giving Finn and short wave as he headed towards first period.

It was only during lunch that Puck realized Finn wasn't going to do it. Catching sight of his tall frame, Puck sauntered up to him as Finn tried to avoid his eyes.

'What the hell are you still doing here?'

Finn had looked him in the eye and Puck just _knew _what he was going to say. He'd been friends with Finn since they were in grade school. Everyone talked about how he was such a leader and Puck had to admit that when Finn had told the rest of the team that he'd joined Glee, it had been a complete shock. But the fact of the matter was that Finn didn't _know _he was a leader. Hudson walked around and his hulking frame and boyish good looks got him labeled the golden boy. Puck had been content to be by his side because there was no sense in being upset over something that was so obvious. If people wanted to think of him as the screw up, as the no good best friend – well let them. He didn't care.

_Yeah, keep telling yourself that._

'Puck, man, you know I can't rock either of those looks,' Finn said, shooting his eyes left to right. He gave the people looking at them a stilted smile.

'Dude, don't give me this crap. _You're _the one that volunteered. _You _told Rachel you'd be there-'

'You know what Puck, I didn't see you raising your hand,' Finn shot back, gripping his tray tightly.

_What is this? A way for you to prove how you're so much better than me._

'You _know _this picture means the fucking world to Rachel. Don't be a dick and flake out because the guys are ragging you on…' Puck trailed off, hearing his words.

_Ah crap._

He sounded like a fucking hypocrite didn't he?

_No wonder Berry went all Cold War on my ass._

Rachel had taken a chance to look beyond the façade he built around himself. She'd _bothered _man, and he'd all but disappointed the one person who gave a shit about him for what? So that douche bags like Ketterley and Uley could feel like they'd accomplished something?

Suddenly being a popular jerk sounded like the dumbest thing in the world.

Catching sight of the time, Puck shoved past Finn.

'You know what Finn. You're right. I should have raised my hand in the first place,' Puck muttered. Looking down at his black t-shirt, Puck quickly rummaged around in his backpack for his spare jersey. As he grabbed the hem of his shirt,

_I'm Puck. I can make a dress look cool. And I'm going to show the rest of these idiots that there's nothing wrong with being a jock and a gleek at the same time. _

'Noah?' Rachel gaped, watching as her boyfriend skidded into the room with his football jersey half over his head. She licked her lips when she saw the planes of his abdomen and decided that she was relieved when he finally brought the jersey down to cover his stomach.

'I'm here,' he said, straightening his shoulders and walking past the secretary with a wink. The older woman blushed.

'But, I thought that…' Rachel trailed off.

'Are we going to do this?' The photographer asked testily.

'Oh, yes. Of course,' Rachel answered, hurrying over to seat herself next to Puck.

'You…what changed your mind?' She asked him and Puck wanted to say it was _her_, that she was _doing _shit to his brain that he didn't quite know how to explain or handle.

'I wasn't going to let some other dude take a picture with my girl,' was what he said instead.

'Okay. Let's do this,' the old guy behind the camera said.

Rachel shifted so that her left side was visible, tossing her hair over her shoulder.

'Berry, what the hell are you doing?'

'I insist on only being shot from my left side,' Rachel told him seriously before beaming into the camera. Puck stared at her before sucking in his cheeks and flashing the camera a smoldering look.

The photographer sighed. 'Zoolander kid? Really?'

'I call this look _Green Steel_,' Puck replied, his voice gravelly. Rachel looked up and saw his face. Puck felt his features soften involuntarily as he looked down at her, one of her hands covering her mouth as she giggled.

Neither noticed the flash go off.

_Perhaps it wasn't a change of mind_, Puck thought as Rachel smiled up at him through her lashes. _More like a change of heart._

Maybe it was.

Puck didn't want to think too much about it.

He was here and that was all that fucking mattered.

**a/n: because it's like chapter 40, could everyone who reads this chapter review. Pretty please?**

**And Bibz and Ladybug Jess, I'm working on those one-shots **

**AND WHERE IN THE WORLD IS WYNTERTWILIGHT?! I miss your detailed reviews…**


	41. Chapter 41

As he tapped his foot impatiently against the floor of the choir room, watching Rachel pace back and forth in her supremely short dress, Puck couldn't resist snorting.

He had always known Rachel was determined. Like the borderline obsessive kind that made you want to take a few steps back so you wouldn't be in her line of sight when she wanted something.

Seeing it in action was another things entirely.

'**Wait! That's it?' Rachel demanded as the photographer started stowing away his gear. 'I never got to show you my over the shoulder yet slightly whimsical look yet!'**

**Puck just shook his head because **_**seriously**_**?**

'**Sorry kid but I'm late for my casting call,' the photographer brushed Rachel off dismissively and Puck frowned slightly at the older man. **

'**Casting call?' Those were all the words Rachel uttered before she burst into tears. Puck gaped, seeing her tiny frame shake and tears glisten off the tips of her lashes.**

'**Berry? What the hell?' Puck said, not knowing whether to put his arm around her or not.**

'**Alright! We can do a few more shots,' the photographer blurted out, waving his hands around as if to placate Rachel. His girlfriend stopped crying abruptly, turning her tear-stained face towards the photographer.**

'**I can cry on demand. I'm also extremely versatile,' Rachel stated matter-of-factly, hopping off the stool and approaching the wary man behind the camera. 'And aside from the exploitation of animals and nudity, I am unopposed to doing anything to get ahead in this business.'**

_**You have got to be fucking kidding me.**_

'**Yeah, okay kid. But I'm going to need a whole bunch of people for this gig,' the photographer (who Puck later found out was called Mr Landry) replied.**

**There was no mistaking the maniacal gleam in Rachel's eye when she spoke. 'If you meet me in the choir room in approximately half an hour, I guarantee you an audition that would end your need to attend your casting call.'**

'Rach, calm the fuck _down_,' Puck finally said, cracking his neck. The bones popped with a wet sound and Rachel wrinkled her nose in distaste, though she did finally seat herself next to him. Absently she leaned into his shoulder and Puck crowed with victory on the inside. Ever since he had swooped in with his impressive guns and the Green Steel, Rachel had repaid his rescue with more blatant public displays of affection. While she still refused to let him touch anything below or above the stomach when there were people around, Puck thought it was all about winning the battle rather than the war.

'I'm sorry Noah but you must realize how extremely important this is,' Rachel said, forehead furrowing as she stared at the double doors.

'It's a mattress commercial,' Puck informed her flatly. Rachel turned a dark look towards him, inching away from his shoulder to do so.

'It's a step closer to us being _stars_,' Rachel reiterated. Puck held his hands up in supplication. 'Where _is _everyone?' She murmured, jumping to her feet as Puck rolled his eyes.

Okay, so he wouldn't completely say the idea of being in a proper television commercial wasn't _entirely _retarded. But Puck figured that out of the two of them he was the one with his feet more firmly planted on the ground, the one who offered up the reality check when things started getting out of control.

'Finally! You're here!' Rachel exclaimed, seizing Kurt's arm and all but throwing him into the nearest chair. The rest of Glee trickled in behind, Quinn amongst them. He caught her eye and tilted his head but Quinn merely shook hers from side to side, tucking a piece of flaxen hair behind her ear as Rachel ushered an amused Jose into the seat next to her.

'Where's the fire?' Jose's deep baritone asked and Rachel slapped him on the collarbone as she headed towards the open doors.

'I now call this meeting to order,' Rachel announced with a sunny smile.

'Dude, did Mr Schue like pass the proverbial torch without me knowing?' Mike whispered into his ear.

'Why is she smiling like that?' Kurt demanded before twisting around in his seat to give Puck a pointed look, who lifted a nonchalant shoulder.

'What can I say? I satisfy my woman,' Puck drawled as Mercedes scowled.

'Boy, I coulda lived_ without_ those _Blue Movie_ images,' the black girl told him with disgust.

'Oh _hello_ Finn. I'm glad to see you decided to show up,' Rachel's voice made them all turn towards the front. Finn looked ashamed and Puck smirked, seeing Rachel brush past the tall teen brusquely as she closed the door. Finn flicked his eyes up towards their rapt audience, his words so soft that it was a hum. Rachel's reaction however told Puck what he thought the quarterback had said.

'I'm sorry that being harassed by your peers was _such _a hardship for you. Thankfully Noah proved exceptional in his co-captaincy and also his maturity regarding your so-called dilemma. I, for one, would opt for the buckteeth. Maybe they can draw a cowboy hat as well to complete the image,' Rachel retorted with an even tone.

'Oh. The bitch is _back_,' Kurt said in what sounded like an awed whisper. Finn stepped towards Quinn as Rachel turned her back on him.

'So you manned up huh?' Matt asked.

'Like I said before, this man knows how to satisfy his woman.'

'_Noah_,' Rachel barked. 'Please pay attention.'

Puck made a big show of slumping down in his seat and pasting on a bored expression on his face. Rachel narrowed her eyes briefly before deciding that it wasn't worth pointing out how incredibly uncouth his behaviour was (Puck thought it was completely demented how he _knew _the exact lecture he was going to receive from her).

'While there is no disguising the disappointment I felt, I realize that most of you were extremely reluctant to be in the Glee photo due to the social strictures and pressure exerted by the _obviously _uneducated and highly unmeritocratic hierarchy present at this school. I am also fully aware of the disgraceful defacement of Glee pictures that members of our athletic team find amusing,' there was no mistaking the utter revulsion colouring Rachel's words as she fisted her small hands on her hips. 'However, I pose this question to you my fellow club members – would they disfigure a star?' She looked triumphantly towards the small group of people, who gave her confused looks.

Mike raised his hand. 'Err Rach, I don't think Puck's infamy as a lesser-known porn star counts. _Ow_!' The Asian boy exclaimed, clutching his arm. 'Dude, don't shoot the messenger.'

'Ria?' Jose prompted and Rachel gave her friend a grateful smile. Puck frowned.

'I have managed to secure us an audition in approximately fifteen minutes with the director of a local television commercial seeking to cast a group of people. Friends, we are selling _mattresses_!'

Puck thought Rachel's exuberance was a bit overblown but if it made her smile like that, he wasn't going to complain. Seeing Kurt and Mercedes manhandle Rachel into a corner, and Finn attempt to insert himself into the circle (the guy had even plastered on his puppy dog look. Gag me), Puck took the opportunity to inch his way casually towards Quinn.

'Yo, Fabray,' Puck hissed through his teeth, flashing Santana a half-hearted grin when she sent him a curious look. 'Why didn't you tell me about the doc saying you couldn't like overexert yourself and shit? And the _hell _is up with you semi-quitting Glee?'

'I don't have to tell you anything,' Quinn's answer was clipped and Puck felt his molars grind together.

'What happened to letting me help?' He posed, forcing her to remember the kinder, softer girl that had given him an opportunity to be a part of this.

'I think you've helped enough,' Quinn said harshly through clenched teeth, pointedly wrapping a hand around her belly.

'This fucking personality transplant is bullshit,' Puck leaned closer, feeling some of the anger inside leaking into his voice.

_First she says we can do this together. And now it's like she doesn't want anything to do with me._

'Just leave me alone Puck.'

'I already said that I'm not leaving until this dance is done,' Puck reminded her, feeling his knuckles tighten around the lip of the chair. The desolate look Quinn sent Finn's way made him chuckle darkly. 'You can keep pretending all you want, but sooner or later he's going to find out.'

'So will Rachel.'

Quinn's words were like a slap to the face. The blonde must have realized it too, because a bitter, broken upturn of her lips bloomed onto her face.

'She's going to leave you too. Just like Finn will leave me. And then we're going to be alone. I _can't _be alone Puck. So _please_,' her hard tone softening into a faint note of pleading and Puck felt himself moving away from Quinn, gravitating towards Rachel.

'I'm still not going away,' he muttered and Quinn shook her head, light-coloured hair falling to cover her face from view.

'You okay man?' Matt's voice drew him back and Puck nodded, forcing a neutral expression on his face. 'What did Quinn want?'

'Nothing,' Puck replied shortly, brushing past his friend towards Rachel who gave him a smile that wasn't tinged with sadness.

He didn't complain when she made them do a quick run-through of "Somebody to Love". Instead, he focused on singing and wondered if this was why Rachel always sounded as if she were pouring her heart out in song. The beat, the movement, the words all blended together as Rachel twirled towards him, sliding and pressing her body against his as they went through the routine.

**Find me somebody to love**

**Can anybody find me somebody to love?**

He sang as if he meant it.

Because he had found somebody to like (_love _was like…no).

And she couldn't leave. _She just couldn't._

**a/n:**

**a few people have asked whether i'm going to let babygate out soon as per canon. i'm still deciding but i guess you'll find out soon? i'm trying to draw this out until the new eps air so that i can keep writing this. because i suck at coming up with new plotlines. so feel free to suggest.**

**and OMFGWTFFBBQ! MORE PUCKLEBERRY IN THE BACK NINE! okay. breathe in. wax on, wax off. SQUEEEEEEE!**

**completely unrelated sidenote - i am now addicted to vampire diaries. screw edward cullen. give me stefan anyday. i mean, did you SEE that body? my heart swooned. and he looks like the lovechild of james dean and marlon brando when he was young and uber hot. i don't care if you say he isn't. HE IS. and damon is SO the snark. love him too despite his uncanny resemblance to a young rob lowe.**

**and i love jose. i don't care if he sounds all skeevy, he's not a threat to the puckleberry. he's here for character development (though he hasn't been in it much) :) so hold off the pitchforks!**

**WYNTERTWILIGHT IS BACK!**

**FREAKTONIGHT - you are awesome for pretty much reviewing every chapter. and the lyrics you asked about are 'echo park ornithology club' by jericho.**

**Hexxgirl - you are KICKawesome as well for reviewing as much as you did.**

**Midnight Writer - I await more.**

**Shiva'sGirl - HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!**

**to all those who reviewed - do it again! please? it'll make the next post come quicker!**

**and, finally (if you're still reading this, kudos) to those that review regularly - you are MY (insert your country here) idol.**


	42. Chapter 42

The mattress commercial went off without a hitch. After Rachel had insisted on having one of her fathers draft a contract that was suitable for both parties, and succeeded in having the club perform rather than read off that mediocre script Mr Landry had _clearly _written without professional advice, she supposed that she should have felt just as happy as the rest of her friends in securing the additional monetary funds needed for their trip to Sectionals.

But Rachel was also observant and Puck's behaviour was a cause for concern.

He had especially attentive towards the blonde, though not overtly so. It was the little things, like when he had shoved a bottle of water at her telling her she needed to stay hydrated and siding with Finn when the quarterback had insisted on Quinn remaining beside Artie instead of jumping around on the mattresses like the rest of them.

She had also noticed him speaking with Quinn before the audition and her boyfriend's mood thereafter could only be described as surly with a side of clingy. He _hadn't _said much – not that this was a regular occurrence with Puck. Rachel had long since learnt that the left tackle was a man of few, but biting, words. But there was just _something _about the way how sometimes his eyes would stray over towards Quinn, or how he always seemed to need to be within reach of Rachel. Whether it was an arm over the shoulder or just the barest glancing touch against the small of her back, Puck had been increasingly tactile after his little pow wow with Quinn.

Now Rachel wasn't necessarily an insecure person. She understood that being in the spotlight meant taking criticism along with the praise. The insults and ridicule she received at McKinley were construed as a kind of buffer, a way for her to acclimate to the harsher truth of celebrity and enable her to proffer the grace needed to show how unaffected she was by such negativity.

But this was _Quinn Fabray_, the girl who seemed to get _everything _she wanted. And for reasons she couldn't fathom, Rachel never felt like she would ever measure up when placed alongside the blonde Cheerio.

'Quinn here got Sue to agree to…drop her demands that the Cheerios need a four page spread. So let's give it up for her. We get a group picture you guys,' Mr Schue said, clapping his hands together and gently patting a smiling Quinn on the arm. The girl in question seemed to glow and Rachel watched as Finn and the rest milled around to offer her congratulations. Rachel hovered around the edge, biting her lip and hoping that _someone _would remember how she had actually made them into local stars.

She wasn't surprised when no one did.

'So blackmailing Slyvester Fabray?' Puck's voice floated into her ears and Rachel ducked behind Jose, who gave her a look. She pressed a finger to her lips and her friend merely rolled his eyes. 'It seems like you aren't as big of a bitch as we thought you were.'

Rachel saw Quinn roll her eyes. 'And you wonder _why _I don't want to have anything to do with you?'

Puck said something in reply but Mr Schue chose that time to call them together for rehearsal.

'Care to share Ria?' Jose asked. Rachel narrowed her eyes at him, tilting her head to the side. Jose laughed softly, nudging her shoulder. 'Yeah, yeah. You're still _thinking_. I'm here if you need me.'

Sometimes it was nice having someone who knew you so well. Rachel noted with interest that Santana seemed to be following Jose with her eyes as he sat down next to Mercedes.

_Huh. _

Rachel took in the barely there frown etched into Puck's features.

'Noah?' She whispered, gently placing her hand on his arm. He turned startled eyes towards her. 'Are you alright? You've seemed a bit…preoccupied since yesterday.'

Puck saw the thinly veiled concern buried behind Rachel's eyes and his gut twisted up again.

_She's going to leave you too. We'll both be alone._

Quinn's words had been taunting him, eating away at his head and his heart since she had spoken them. She had said it with such finality, with such _knowing _that Puck had taken to touching Rachel to make sure that she hadn't left him. That she was still _here_.

_Yeah dumbass. Tell her you knocked up Quinn. See how long she sticks around then._

'I'm good babe,' the endearment slipped out almost absently that he didn't notice it. The surprised look on Rachel's face was lost as he focused back on Mr Schue, trying to look as if he were paying attention. He could feel the warmth from Rachel's body against his arm and the smell of her perfume. Puck dragged her hand over and laced his fingers through hers, the skin of her palm hot against his, and didn't look over to see his girlfriend's reaction.

_She's going to find out about this. Don't you want her to find out about it from _you_?_

_Quinn doesn't want anyone to know. She wants Finn to stay._

_Fuck Fabray. Who do you think is gonna be the bad guy in this when things turn out? Like hell anyone is going to believe that the President of the fucking Celibacy Club got drunk off wine coolers and asked you to fuck her. Face it Puckerman, you're the scapegoat._

_Maybe Rachel will understand. She keeps saying you're a good guy. When she hears how you've tried to man up, take responsibility-_

_Yeah. Whatever man._

Puck looked down at their interlaced fingers, noting how his tanned rough hand contrasted against her smooth, porcelain one. Dark and light, Puck mused cynically. She had seen through his façade, seen someone she thought was worth taking a chance on. And he was pretty much spitting in her face by pretending that he wasn't the father of Quinn's baby.

_What about Finn? He's your best friend and you're letting Quinn string him along. The dude may be an idiot and in desperate need of a backbone, but he doesn't deserve this shit._

_Neither does Rachel. She deserves better._

Puck had already made up his mind. Now all he had to do was find a way to tell her. Because how did you go about telling your new girlfriend something like this?

_Either way I'm fucked as all hell._

'Noah? It's time to go,' Rachel tugged on their joined hands and Puck looked up to see the rest of Glee filtering out, Quinn with Finn on her arm. He almost told Rachel then and there.

_No. I need her to be in a confined space so she can't run away from me._

Because Puck needed her to _stay_, to _sit there _and _understand _his side of the story.

So he allowed Rachel to lead him towards his truck, his hands in his pockets as he fiddled with the hole in the pocket. It was a nervous habit that had led to the tear in the first place and Puck briefly considered working on a matching one in the other pocket to even things out.

'-I'm not saying that I wasn't _happy_ when I heard about what Quinn had done for Glee. She voluntarily severed her last remaining ties to the Cheerios and I saw how attached she was to that uniform and the pack mentality that the group implied. It's something to be applauded.'

'Quinn Fabray doesn't do anything for anyone,' Puck interjected vehemently and Rachel was startled by the sheer bitterness colouring his tone.

'Well, nonetheless, I just wish Mr Schue had perhaps maybe mentioned my small part in securing the remaining funds needed for our trip to Sectionals. I mean, we even have enough left over to secure a bus with _air-conditioning_,' Rachel continued, Puck extending a hand as she struggled up towards the cab of his truck. 'Thank you Noah. How very chivalrous of you,' she said with a smile.

Puck grunted noncommittally, feeling his palms sweat as he started the engine. He locked the doors before reversing out of the lot, too nervous to even switch on the radio.

_Do it. Tell her._

_You haven't wanted to for this long. Why now?_

_Because damn if I'm letting Quinn Fabray make me feel like shit anymore. And also because I'm sick and tired of letting her tell me what to do. _

_Because Rachel is…Rachel needs to hear this from you._

'Rach, I need to tell you something,' he blurted out, catching Rachel by surprise. She stopped speaking and gave him a measured look.

'Is this going to explain your rather somber countenance since yesterday? Because Noah I must say I've been extremely worried about you. Usually you deliver at least you witty remark a day towards Mike and when you didn't fulfill that quota, I-'

'Just _stop_,' the words came out harsher than he intended to. He gave her a soft look to temper it. 'I need to…this is important.'

'You're not…breaking up with me are you?'

Puck snapped his head towards her so fast he was surprised it was still intact. 'What? _Fuck _no. No. I'm hoping you won't though,' he mumbled the last few words to himself.

'Pardon me?'

Pulling to a stop outside her house, and grateful that her fathers weren't back from the office yet, Puck sucked in a deep breath.

'While I understand the need for dramatic effect Noah, in this case I really wish you would tell me because the anticipation is, for the lack of a better word, _killing _me.'

'Quinn's pregnant,' he said. Rachel gave him a confused look.

'I _know_,' she told him, as if he were an idiot. 'I believe I mentioned her cutting her connections with the Cheerios before.'

The thudding in his ears was getting louder. He discretely made sure the doors were locked.

'Finn isn't the father.'

Rachel didn't say anything, but he saw the colour leech out of her cheeks.

'No,' she finally said, firm. '_No_. Finn is…he _told _me he was the father.' There was something desperate in her tone and it was making something stick to the back of his throat.

'Rach-'

'_Finn _is the father,' Rachel repeated, her voice thick. '_Please _Noah. _Please_.'

Puck reminded himself that she had earned hearing the truth from him, that he had _wanted _to tell her himself.

'I'm the father Rachel,' his words were hoarse, rough, as if someone had sanded it down.

Puck expected her to shriek, to get angry and shout and yell and _hit _him. But what she did instead was much, _much _worse.

'Why does it _always _have to be about _her_?' Rachel whispered, defeated and Puck was horrified to see what he thought was a tear spill down her cheek.

'Baby, please,' he murmured, reaching for her.

'_Don't touch me_,' Rachel pulled herself away from him and Puck felt like someone had punched him square in the solar plexus.

_Don't leave. Stay. Don't leave. Stay. Don't leave. Stay. Don't leave. Stay._

'Rachel, just let me explain,' Puck pleaded, keeping his hands by his side.

'I _don't _want to hear it right now. If you care about me at all, just _don't_,' Rachel reached for the door and tried to jerk it open. He watched, resigned, as she struggled with the latch. '_God _why won't this thing-'

Puck flipped open the locks, slumping down in his seat as Rachel practically flew towards her house.

She didn't even look over her shoulder, barely spared him a glimpse as she locked the door behind her.

Puck rubbed a hand over his face, balling his fist and slamming it against the steering wheel.

'_**Fuck**_.'

He glanced down on saw her pink binder lying next to him. _Rachel Berry _was scrawled neatly in the bottom corner with a gold star pasted right beside it.

Puck folded his fingers over it, pressing his thumb against the edge of the binder until it bled.

He couldn't make her stay if she wanted to leave.

Right?

**a/n:**

**I expect everyone who reads this to leave a review. Pretty please? More reviews = faster updates. Promise. Plus, cliffhanger much? I think so…**

**Thank you to Taylor Swift whose song helped inspire me to write Babygate and it's aftermath. I heard it (and I won't tell you what it is until this whole thing is over because it would RUIN my story) and I was like 'THANK YOU T-SWIZZLE!'**

**Also, I've decided Jose looks like Danny Pino, who plays Scotty on Cold Case. That hunk of manmeat can ROCK a side part and not look retarded. And that face and that VOICE. Plus Jose's singing voice will sound like…Robby Pardio from City High. If you listen to "Caramel", he sings the bridge. And I went to Wikipedia City High to find out the dude's name, and I found out that they've like BEEN DISBANDED for almost six years. Apparently the girl and Robby were going out but then they broke up and she married the other guy in the group (Ryan Toby from Sister Act II). And now Robby's this major alcoholic because of it. WTF?! This probably explains why I've been waiting for their next album to drop and it never happened…but if you ever get a chance, listen to their album **_**City High**_**. You know you want to.**

**And like Paul Wesley is in the Feb issue of Cosmo. I need wall porn for my new room. It'll hang right up beside Jensen Ackles, Cesc Fabregas (signed thank you bff) and Mark Salling. Wait…visualization. **_**Sigh**_**.**

**I'm trying to do the review reply thing, so if you would like me to reply please let me know. Otherwise, here are a few:**

**booksmartblonde333 – message received **

**I Keep Goldfish In My Bra – first off, AWESOME name. second, I won't kill it. That'd just be sacrilege.**

**sarcastic melody – I say blame the story for being addictive? Haha!**

**ooo a jellybean – I actually meant to say **_**Blue Movie **_**images. My bad. Google it and find out!**

**Unsuspecting Sunday Afternoon – like Rachel Berry, are you just a little bit psychic? Because, dude, we are so having a Vulcan mind meld about Rachel being canon. Be patient and you'll see what I mean.**

**Midnight Writer = awesome reviewer. Plus, Jose will be featuring rather heavily soon. **

**FREAKTONIGHT – could you PM me the full link to that video?**

**To those who reviewed who I haven't mentioned, you are my (insert your country here) idol.**


	43. Chapter 43

Rachel couldn't believe how incredibly _stupid _she was.

The signs had all been there, now that she thought about. She recalled one time during Glee when Quinn had slipped and both Puck and Finn had rushed to her side, both asking her if she was all right. She remembered seeing the blonde Cheerio confer with Puck on numerous occasions. And she vaguely recalled Finn telling her that Quinn and him had been in a hot tub with their swimsuits on when they had consummated their relationship.

_A hot tub. Honestly._

Slamming the door behind her, Rachel sunk down to her knees and wrapped her hands around her legs.

_Finn isn't the father._

Puck had looked so serious, so _sure _when he had said the words. Rachel had felt the tiny bubble of normalcy that she thought they had built up around them burst with his words. Her chest had squeezed and burned and she had thought _why_? Why was it always Quinn? Perhaps if it had been any other girl (maybe) Rachel would have felt _less _hurt, less angry, less sad. This wasn't anything like how she had felt when she realized that Finn was never going to leave the blonde Cheerio. No. Knowing that Puck had…had…

_Oh God_. Even _contemplating _it was too painful.

Rachel scrubbed at her eyes, hearing her hitching breaths echo around the empty house. She buried her hands into her scalp, feeling her fingers dig into the thin skin under her hair. Absently she heard the roar of Puck's truck and the sound of wheels scraping against road.

How could he have kept this from her? Had he known about this before they started dating? Had he known that the baby was his when word had first gotten out that someone had knocked up Quinn Fabray? Why was he letting Finn pretend that the child was his?

The questions spun around inside her head, making Rachel dizzy. The deep bite of her nails drawing blood made her flex her fingers and for a moment she embraced the sharp sensation, letting herself get lost in it. She didn't know how long she sat there, just sucking in deep, loud gulps of air that drowned out everything else around her. She couldn't think, didn't want to think that the boy who claimed to care about her had conceived a child with _Quinn Fabray _of all people.

A light, continuous rapping on the door made Rachel scoot backwards.

'Berry. Open the door.'

_Of course _he wouldn't respect her wishes. _Of course _he would come back after she had clearly told him to leave her alone.

'Go _away_!' Her voice was shrill and raspy. Swiping her hands against her cheeks, she felt the tears dry sticky against her skin.

'No. I'm not going away,' Puck insisted and Rachel thought he sounded frantic. 'I…I _need _you to open this door so I can explain.'

Balling her fists, Rachel whipped the door open. Puck took a reflexive step back but stood his ground.

'You want to _explain_?' She practically hissed and the resentment boiling underneath her skin caught her by surprise. 'Please. Please shed some light as to how you've been _lying _to me-'

'I haven't been lying to you!' He protested and Rachel gave a derisive chuckle because _really?_

'Puck-'

'Don't call me that.'

'_Puck_,' she repeated, enjoying the way he winced. 'Did you or did you not know you were the father of Quinn's child before we commenced our relationship?'

'Yeah, okay, when you put it that way-'

'Is there anything else you've neglected to tell me? Was this an entire thing some kind of joke to you? Oh she'll never be as good but perhaps Rachel Berry would be willing to be some kind of inadequate substitute for Quinn-'

'Shut the hell up Rachel,' the vehemence in his tone took her by surprise and the anger now evident on his features was dark and stormy. 'That shit isn't even remotely funny.'

His words seemed to deflate her and the anger ebbed away though she tried to grasp at it with the tips of her fingers. She wanted to stay mad because then she wouldn't feel this ache radiating from her chest down to her toes.

'Then _why_?' She sounded broken and defeated and Puck wanted to hit something, someone.

'We were drunk and Quinn wanted me. And back then I thought she was what I wanted. But she isn't, she _isn't_,' he insisted, inching closer and suppressed sighing with relief when Rachel didn't flinch back. Her eyes were still on the floor but Puck could tell she was listening.

'She's having your child,' Rachel whispered. Puck wondered if it was okay to touch her but decided that it wasn't worth the risk.

'Yeah, she is. But she doesn't want anything to do with me. Why do you think she's going around telling everyone Finn's the baby daddy?'

'And you just _let _her?' Puck tried to ignore how defensive she got when Finn was mentioned. He swallowed the annoyance down before speaking again.

'_Fuck no_. The day I found out I told her I could provide for them both and she called me a piece of shit with no fucking future.' It must have been the self-deprecating tone that made her look up. 'One minute she wants me to help, and the next she's pulled a complete one-eighty and tells me to go fuck myself.'

'So being in a relationship with Quinn hadn't crossed your mind?' Puck thought it was progress that she wasn't speaking softly anymore.

'At first I thought we could be one big happy family. But then…' _I met you_, 'I didn't really care about Quinn. I wanted the baby inside to know that her father wasn't some deadbeat Lima Loser who bailed when things were tough. I'm not my dad and I sure as hell don't fucking roll that way. The only reason why Quinn even talks to me is because I haven't breathed a word about how I'm the father. If I did…' He trailed off, that cold numb feeling he got whenever he thought about Quinn shutting him out of his baby's life spreading through his body.

'Look this entire situation is fucked up. And when we got together, suddenly you were the only good thing in my life. And I knew once you found out the truth you were going to leave. And I know half the time I pretend, but Rachel…' Puck felt his eyes burning and blinked rapidly.

Rachel heard the pleading note in his voice and her heart softened slightly.

_He doesn't care about Quinn. He wants the baby._

'Okay,' she murmured and Puck stepped forward hesitantly.

'Okay?' He asked.

Rachel nodded her head, sucking in air through clenched teeth. 'Yes. I'm going to need time to process this and wrap my head around it.'

'What about us?' He asked and he sounded so unsure of himself that any other time Rachel would have laughed.

Rachel shook her head, not wanting to meet his eyes. 'I need you to give me time Noah.' She ignored the way he relaxed when she called him by his given name. 'And that means spending time apart. Because while I perhaps understand why you didn't tell me, the fact remains that you _didn't_.'

'But I did just then,' he reminded her, digging his hands into the pockets of his letterman jacket.

'Nonetheless I need to…_reevaluate_,' she searched for the right word. His face shuttered and Rachel thought she could see him pulling away from her, as if recoiling.

'Yeah. You do that,' he said flatly before bending down and picking up the pink binder by his feet. 'You left that in the car. Let me know when you decide if I'm a Lima Loser or not.'

She curled her fingers around the binder, watching as he turned around.

'Noah. _Noah_-'

He twisted around and there was something buried behind his eyes that made Rachel hold her breath.

'I wanted to tell you myself. If Quinn finds out I told you, I might never see my baby girl. But I thought you deserved to hear it from me,' he told her, voice rough and uneven.

She was still mad, Rachel told herself, but the ache was now transforming into something different as she watched her boyfriend slump further down as if the weight on his shoulders had only gotten heavier.

'Let me know when you've _reevaluated_,' he said shortly and Rachel grimaced.

_He sounds as if he doesn't think I'm going to stay._

_Are you?_

_He's having Quinn's child. He slept with Quinn._

_But he's been doing everything so that he can have a chance to know his daughter. Can't you see that?_

_I can._

_Then tell him you're going to stay._

_Are you?_

Rachel looked down at the binder in her hands, frowning when she caught sight of Puck's messy scrawl above her name. He had struck out her name and replaced it with _Sweet Caroline_ instead. Hugging the binder to her chest, she traced the curve of his back from the porch, unmoving.

Rachel was a teenage girl who had gotten her heart broken by a boy.

_But Noah Puckerman wasn't just any boy_.

It was something she could feel in her heart and in her mind and in her very soul. And it was also why it made everything that much more unbearable.

Yes, she thought, she was going to stay. But she also needed to leave so that she could.

**a/n:**

**I expect everyone who reads this to leave a review. Pretty please? More reviews = faster updates. Promise.**

**And Shiva'sGirl, this is for you **

**And no rolley2001 I do not want you in the hospital. That would be bad. **

**NEXT TIME, ON NORTH:**

**Will Jose help bring our favourite couple back together, or drive them apart?**

**Will Kurt be able to resist once he is offered a chance to team up with someone from Glee?**

**What will happen with Quinn and Finn?**

**Will Mercedes finally get some lovin'?**

**Where are Brittany and Mike?**

**Will Rachel find herself alone at the Spring Formal?**

**FIND OUT ON THE NEXT INSTALMENT OF NORTH!**

**Oh my god! That was SO beyond lame. Please forgive me. I'm sleep deprived due to my viewing of the Arsenal v Villa game this morning. This resulted in a 0-0 draw whereby our first choice centre half got his leg broken and we dropped two points in the title race. Bleargh. **

**And they named Mark Salling Worst Dressed on Fashion Police! I was like noooooooooo! Okay I totally got what they said about the suit needing to be more tailored but he hates the mohawk too! He can't shave it! Leave him alone! Boooo!**

**And dudes, totally check this out:**

**www(dot)peoplestylewatch(dot)com(forwardslash)people(forwardslash)stylewatch(forwardslash)package(forwardslash)gallery(forwardslash)0(comma)(comma)20332854(underscore)20338804(coma)00(dot)html**

**And ah! TIVA! TIVA! TIVA! Oh Tony, you are FTW. Seven seasons and I still cannot resist the DiNozzo charm. **

**Question: How has NCIS or Supernatural NOT won any awards? I'm talking Globes, Emmys, People's Choice? Or have they and I just didn't know? It's an injustice is all I'm saying.**


	44. Chapter 44

Rachel didn't go to school the next day.

She had fully intended on maintaining her perfect attendance record when she woke up this morning. She had even gone so far was to jump on her elliptical but had foregone her banana and flaxseed shake for a root beer with vanilla ice-cream. But as the clock slowly edged towards eight, Rachel found herself dragging her feet. This feeling of dread, so crushing and overwhelming, made her hands shake as she plucked the crisp white shirt off the hangar.

It wasn't until she heard the familiar rumble of Puck's engine did she decide that she wasn't ready to face _everything _quite yet. She had peeked through the curtains, counting down the minutes as Puck waited patiently in his truck for her to come down and climb into his cab. Squeezing her eyes shut, she recalled the buried pain in his eyes as he had walked away from her.

_Let me know when you decide if I'm a Lima Loser or not._

It was the way he had said the words, as if he truly believed them that had made Rachel want to throw open the curtains and let him know that she was still here. But at the same time there was a bigger part of her that wanted him to stay away, that wanted to shut herself up in her room all day and pretend that nothing else existed. That the boy she cared about for more than anyone else was having a child with the girl who had made her high school life a living hell.

The relief and guilt that crawled over her when Puck's truck pulled away from the driveway made her release a sigh.

_I need this time apart. Because right now all I see is Puck who knocked up the head Cheerio. I want to see Noah again and that's just going to take time. Time and space._

Rachel made sure to sound suitably ill when she phoned the school secretary to inform her of her absence. Despite what she was feeling, her impeccable acting abilities masked the distress she was feeling inside and Rachel felt herself calm down a fraction when she realized that like any great starlet she worked well under extreme duress.

The rest of the day passed by in a haze. She ignored the texts from the Glee phone tree, though like some kind of maschoist she had found herself staring at the one Puck had sent. It was simple and to the point – **I get why you aren't here. I'm sorry. Noah.**Sucking in a breath, Rachel wondered why Puck understanding the need for her to be away from him was making her eyes burn. She had half-expected him to turn up at her door, banging and rapping against the wood incessantly like yesterday, demanding that she let him in. But the house remained as silent as it was whenever her fathers weren't around.

Rachel chose instead to engross herself in a self-imposed _Supernatural _marathon. Watching the Winchester brothers slay evil made her realize that things could have been worse. For instance, she could have accidentally started the apocalypse.

The knocking at the door made her start and Rachel flicked her eyes over towards the grandfather clock tucked into a corner of the living room. It was past the time school had let out. Climbing silently to her feet, she didn't see Puck's truck parked anywhere nearby but pressed herself against the peephole to be sure. Seeing who was scowling at her through the glass, Rachel attempted to plaster on a innocent expression before swinging open the door.

'Jose? What a pleasant surprise-'

'Cut the crap Ria,' her friend answered somewhat rudely, rolling his eyes as he simply walked into her house uninvited. 'That act ain' foolin' no one. Now why don't you tell Jose why the fuck your boyfriend asked me to check up on you?'

'I have no idea what you are talking about,' Rachel stated firmly, locking the door behind him.

'Look, do I have to kick Puckerman's ass or not?'

It was a tempting offer but the thought of Puck being subjected to Jose's particular brand of violence didn't seem appealing. Instead, Rachel bit her lip and expelled a breath.

'No, you do not. Really, haven't we discussed your rather automatic response to any situation being inflicting-'

'So then why weren't you in school? Streisand wasn't signing any autographs or some shit like that, and you aren't dyin' or mortally wounded,' Jose stated flatly, running his eyes over her face. Rachel quickly averted her eyes away from him, knowing that he would _know _that something was wrong the minute he studied her too closely.

The sound of a shotgun going off made her wince. Jose barely glanced at her as he strolled towards the living room.

'Nothing's wrong my ass. You only watch this when you feel like shit.'

The thought of telling Jose about what Puck had told her yesterday was tempting. For a glorious moment she considered doing just that, but then some of Puck's words reverberated through her skull.

_The only reason why Quinn even talks to me is because I haven't breathed a word about how I'm the father._

_If Quinn finds out I told you, I might never see my baby girl. But I thought you deserved to hear it from me._

Rachel hadn't shed a tear after Puck had left. But Jose was standing in front of her, with his dark brown eyes and faded leather jacket, and for some reason she couldn't hold it in anymore.

'Ria? Seriously. You look like the time you found out that Dean dude was gettin' hitched-'

She threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his torso and pressing her face against his chest. Puck's face swam underneath her eyelids and she squeezed her eyes shut tighter, hoping that the added effort would make it go away.

_You were the only good thing in my life._

_And I know half the time I pretend, but Rachel…_

Jose murmured a few comforting words in Spanish she had heard his mother whisper at Enrique's funeral as she held up her distraught son. Rachel had forgotten the meaning of them but the soothing cadence of his voice conveyed the message behind them. She scrabbled her hands around his loose shirt, balling up the fabric as her body shook.

'Hey its gonna be okay, alright? _No voy a permitir que nadie te_ (I'm not going to let anyone hurt you),' Jose said softly as Rachel forced herself to clutch tightly at the fraying threads of her emotions.

'I don't know what that means,' she managed to say wetly, pushing herself off his chest. Jose chuckled and Rachel smoothed the wet patch on his shirt before finally stepping away.

'Feel better now?'

Rachel nodded her head, not trusting herself to speak.

'You wanna talk about it or somethin'?' Jose asked and Rachel thought she could have laughed at the awkward tilt to his shoulders.

_Tell him about it. Let him tell you what to do._

_But Noah told me that because he wanted me to know. Because he said I deserved to know…_

_Honestly Rachel Berry, hypothesize!_

'I…' She trailed off, unsure of how to phrase her words.

'This is about Puckerman right?'

There was no use denying it. 'There is a strong possibility-'

'Ria, you just bawled your eyes out all over me. Unless you gimme a reason not to go beat the mohawk off his head, you better start talkin'.'

'He lied to me,' she blurted out upon hearing his threat. Because that was the one of the main reasons why she didn't want to see Puck right now, couldn't. He had strung her along and Rachel had had enough of that with Finn. She had thought Puck was different but in the end, he had hidden away something important. Something that Rachel thought she _needed _to know.

_You don't need to know he slept with Quinn. There's a difference between wanting and needing. You needed to know so you could have protected yourself. You didn't want to know this at all._

_Would arguing semantics have made hearing it any less painful?_

_No._

'I thought he was…I thought maybe he was my fairy tale. I'm a teenaged girl. Am I not entitled to having that one boy who take me for what I was? And Puck swooped in with that ridiculous haircut and his inane need to pepper every conservation we had with profanity. But then he told me he _liked _me and I thought maybe I could be _normal _and have a boyfriend. And then yesterday he told me…he told me something and right now I can't even _think _about looking at him without feeling like someone is tap dancing all over my chest,' Rachel exclaimed, barely pausing to take a breath as she wrung her hands and paced the short length of the corridor. 'Yet _knowing _what's he's done, I can't help thinking that I still…that I _need _him to be here for me because otherwise I…' She finally stopped, flicking her eyes to meet Jose's intense gaze. For a brief moment she rested her brown irises on the name tattooed across his neck, Jose rubbing the spot self-consciously.

'You really like this dude huh? No bullshit,' he warned.

'Yes, I do,' Rachel murmured and some of the weight lifted off with that admission. 'And maybe that's the problem. Because I _shouldn't_. But I do. Does that make me insane?' There was a pleading note to her voice. Jose pressed a hand on her arm, squeezing it lightly.

'You're insane most of the time Ria. But I think this time you're pretty normal.'

'Really?' Rachel breathed. 'It doesn't seem like I have some kind of sadomasochistic tendency to attach myself to pain and suffering-'

'_Rachel_,' the rare use of her name from her best friend made her click her jaw shut. 'Just…take a breath okay? Good. So Puck-'

'His name is _Noah_,' Rachel corrected him. Jose merely cocked an eyebrow.

'_Puckerman_ lied to you and because of that you want to hate him but you can't?'

'Well, that is a rather simplistic summary of my tumultuous emotional well-being but I suppose it will suffice for a general overview,' she answered.

Jose shook his head.

'I get it. I think,' Jose murmured, touching the ink of his neck subconsciously and Rachel wanted to tell him that he did. But she didn't because Puck had told _her _he was the father and no one else. She was going to respect his unspoken wish.

'Could we…perhaps watch Sam and Dean attempt to stop the end of the world while indulging in a dairy intake that would inevitably damage my vocal cords?' Rachel suggested. Jose wrinkled his nose.

'Ria, I think sometimes you forget I ain' a _chica_.'

Rachel pushed her lower lip out, listing her head to the sight.

'You had to do that shit with the eyes and the lips,' Jose groaned. 'Whatever. I'm ordering a pizza. 'If you try to braid my hair, I'll fuckin' shoot you.'

She looked pointedly at his shaved head before turning back towards the living room, hearing Jose shuffle his feet as he took the phone off the hook. Hearing him tell the local pizzeria what he wanted in a surly tone, Rachel reached for her Blackberry. Scrolling down towards Puck's name she bit down on her tongue before finally tapping her thumbs against the keypad.

**I'm sorry too. I'll see you tomorrow. Caroline.**

Jose threw himself onto the sofa, sprawling himself out comfortably. He looked at her out of the corner of his eye as she tucked herself into her best friend's side. Like so many times before Jose absently ran a hand through her hair as they focused their attention on the screen.

And, just for a moment, Rachel found herself forgetting about Puck and Quinn and the baby. It still lurked in the corner of her mind but it didn't surge over her consciousness and consume it whole.

'Thank you for checking up one me,' she whispered and Jose rubbed her scalp in response.

'You're _familia _Ria. Just returnin' the favour.'

For the first time in two days, Rachel smiled.

**a/n:**

**You're going to have to read Jose's chapter in "North: The Outtakes" to understand this chapter a bit more. **


	45. Chapter 45

She had called herself Caroline.

He couldn't really expect Rachel to welcome him back with open arms. She was right – he should have told her about the baby up front. But instead he had pushed it to the back to gather dust like the rest of his skeletons and it had come around to bite him in the ass. Puck knew he would have freaked the fuck out if the situation had been reversed.

_I need you to give me time_, Rachel had told him.

He remembered the resentment he had felt when she told him that she needed to reevaluate. Rachel was supposed to understand, was supposed to tell him that everything was going to be okay and that she thought it was admirable that he had been willing to take responsibility for the child. Instead she had bitten her lip and sent him packing. And maybe a part of him would always hate her for that (a small, _small _part) and perhaps the baseline of betrayal that warred within him would fuel that dislike, but Puck had seen the word _Caroline _and felt what he thought was hope bloom inside his chest. Some of the anger and the hurt he had felt yesterday morning when he had waited outside her house, thinking he had caught a glimpse of her through the curtains, had leeched out once Puck had pulled up into the school parking lot. Spinning his keys around his finger, he had thought that he had screwed up the one good thing in his life for good because he was being _honest_. The irony wasn't lost on him at all but looking up into the clear blue sky, Puck thought he got it.

Perhaps the one good thing to come out of all this was that someone _knew_. It wasn't this big, forbidden taboo that Puck thought spent most of the time blurring the line between fiction and reality. No, now that Rachel knew his baby was _real _and _there_ for him to deal with.

Pushing open the doors of the main entrance, Puck felt the silence that echoed through the empty hallways welcome him with an open embrace. Pulling at the strap of his guitar case he wandered towards the choir room, flipping through his key ring for the spare key he had borrowed from Mr Schue. The Spanish teacher had been surprised when Puck had sought him out for extra time to practice but had been more than willing to press the object into the left tackle's hand with what Puck thought was a proud smile. It had made Puck both uncomfortable and grateful at the same time, which meant he had departed from the room abruptly and quickly.

Sliding the key into the lock and twisting it open, Puck flicked on the light switch and settled his case down on the floor. It was nice, the quiet. It allowed Puck to situate himself into a kind of self-imposed bubble, somewhere he could escape to that no one else knew about. In this space he didn't have a girlfriend who couldn't look him in the eye, a girl who hated him for ruining her life, and a mother who was going to be all but disappointed if she ever heard about what Puck had done. There was no golden boy best friend who didn't know the girl and boy who claimed to love him were lying to him.

No.

As he picked up the guitar and strummed Puck could pretend that there was no one but him. Rachel had often commented that sometimes song offered you a chance to heal when you couldn't find the words. As he sang, Puck poured his heart behind the lyrics and closed his eyes to find a picture of Rachel swimming behind them.

**All attempts have failed ****  
****All my heads are tails ****  
****She's got teary eyes ****  
****I've got reasons why **

He thought about what Quinn would do when she found out he had told Rachel the truth.****

**I'm losing ground and gaining speed ****  
****I've lost myself or most of me ****  
****I'm headed for the final precipice **

Rachel had said _Okay_ but what did that mean?****

**But you haven't lost me yet ****  
****No, you haven't lost me yet ****  
****I'll sing until my heart caves in ****  
****No, you haven't lost me yet ******

**These days pass me by ****  
****I dream with open eyes ****  
****Nightmares haunt my days ****  
****Visions blur my nights ******

**I'm so confused ****  
****What's true of false ****  
****What's fact or fiction after all ****  
****I feel like I'm an apparition's pet ******

**But you haven't lost me yet ****  
****No you haven't lost me yet ****  
****I'll run until my heart caves in ****  
****No, you haven't lost me yet ******

**If it doesn't break ****  
****If it doesn't break ****  
****If it doesn't break ****  
****If it doesn't break your heart ****  
****It isn't love ****  
****If it doesn't break your heart ****  
****It's not enough ****  
****It's when you're breaking down ****  
****With your insides coming out ****  
****That's when you find out what your heart is made of **

Hearing Rachel say she needed to be away from him, that she needed to reevalute had broken something inside of him. It wasn't his heart, Puck insisted, because no girl save for his mother and sister had a place there yet. But it felt like something close to it because he had thought his chest was going to collapse into itself; that his stomach was weighed down with so much lead that he had felt nauseous.****

**And you haven't lost me yet but ****  
****No you haven't lost me yet ****  
****I'll sing until my heart caves in ****  
****No, you haven't lost me yet ****  
****Cause you haven't lost me yet **

Because despite it all Puck couldn't find himself contemplating today and the next without Rachel. While before Rachel Berry had simply been another victim in the slushie wars, now she was a person who made him _feel_, who made him want to be a better person. She was the girl who could stamp her feet and be the most selfish person in the world when someone took away her solo, but a blink of the eye and suddenly she was handing you breakfast because you had mentioned forever ago that you didn't have time to eat it before school.

She was the best thing that had ever happened to him and Puck would be damned if he let her ago without a fight.

Rachel stood in the shadows and pressed her fingers to her lips, studying the lines of Puck's face as he absently plucked the strings of his guitar. She had caught a ride with Jose this morning and her best friend had wandered off towards the gymnasium for some lightweight training.

(This had puzzled Rachel because she had often heard Jose comment that he didn't require artificial means to keep in shape. In fact, his exact words at one point had been _I was born with a body of a god_. Boys)

In her mind, Puck had always been conceited and entirely too self-assured. There was a time Rachel would have labeled him nothing more than a jock with a narcissistic streak a mile wide. But time and proximity had eroded those assumptions, worn them down until there was but a thin layer of skin left on the outside that Rachel thought he kept as a kind of defense mechanism. What Rachel had discovered was that there was something deeper to Puck, a side of him that for some reason he took great pains to hide away from all except for a select few. It was a boy who stroked her face with such tenderness, as if he was afraid the slightest pressure might make her shatter and disappear. It was a boy who hadn't turned away from Quinn when he had found out that the baby was his.

It was a boy who cared enough about her to tell her the truth, no matter how belated it was.

That had to count for something, didn't it?

Hearing the broken, lost quality in Puck's voice made her think it was.

_Tell him that. That's why you're here Rachel Berry. Not to stalk him in the shadows like some kind of wraith._

_But he'll expect too much. I can't…I can't go back to him yet. I still see Puck when I want to see Noah._

_Honestly, you're speaking as if he's two completely different people. The boy sitting down in front of you needs to know that you're here for him. _

Because, after she had spent the night moderately free of images of Quinn and Puck cinched in an intimate embrace, Rachel realized that Puck didn't have anyone to support him through this. Finn wasn't an option because of the circumstances. From what she had observed and heard from Puck, Quinn seemed to be unreceptive of towards Puck being part of the pregnancy. And as for the rest of Glee, their loyalties were surely going to be divided.

There was going to be a scapegoat in this entire affair and it appeared it was going to be her boyfriend.

Steeling her nerve and fisting her hands, Rachel opened the door and closed it again to make it seem as if she had just entered the room. Puck twisted his head towards the entrance at the sound and his body stiffened when he caught sight of her uncertain stance.

'Rachel,' he murmured, as if he couldn't quite believe she was there. Considering how she had ignored him yesterday (save for that solitary text) Rachel felt slightly remorseful for his response.

'Hello Noah,' her words were soft but seemed to thunder across the room. They both regarded the other hesitantly. Rachel could feel an awkward, oppressive silence fill the air. It pressed down around her shoulders and wrapped around her ankles like weights.

'You're here,' Puck finally said. Rachel flickered her gaze to meet his, nodding her head.

'I apologize about yesterday,' she murmured. 'I…I just couldn't-'

Puck shook his head, climbing to his feet and setting his guitar gently into the case. 'No. I mean, I get it. It took a while but I did.'

'Oh,' Rachel said, blinking slowly. 'Okay.'

'So yeah,' Puck replied rubbing the back of his neck, which she knew he only did when he was particularly anxious or nervous. 'I guess you speaking to me is a good thing.'

It was hard not to miss the curdle of bitterness tainting his speech. Rachel swallowed, not quite sure what she was supposed to do or say despite the fact that she had known that this conversation was going to occur.

'I'm going to stay, she told him firmly. Puck looked surprised and then chuckled wryly.

'Are you sure you don't need longer to _reevaluate_?'

Stung, Rachel hazarded a small step forward. Perhaps telling him to leave that day had been the right thing to do, but she should have realized how he would have seen it.

'I'm sorry that I made you leave when you told me…when you told me about it,' Rachel couldn't bring herself to repeat his words. Quinn Fabray hovered above them like a ghost that she desperately wished to exorcise but for right now she pushed the specter to the side. Puck didn't say anything and Rachel wet her dry mouth. 'I should hate you for what you've done, for lying to me and having a baby with another woman, but for reasons beyond my comprehension I can't.'

'You should,' Puck mumbled loud enough for her to hear.

'Are you _telling _me to hate you?' Rachel asked, half-incredulous and feeling what she thought was anger flow through her veins. Didn't he want her to stay? Was he asking her leave?

'God Rachel any normal, self-respecting girlfriend would have ripped my balls out and told me to fuck off,' Puck didn't know why he was shouting because hadn't he decided just a few seconds ago that he was going to fight for her? 'They don't tell their boyfriends that they can just _accept_-'

'You think I've _accepted _this?' Rachel raised her voice. 'Is that what you think this is? _Acceptance_? Because I can assure you Noah Puckerman that I have not in any way made peace with the fact that you told me that he fathered a child with Quinn Fabray!'

'Then why are you here huh?' Puck demanded, looming over her with a dark pinch to his features.

'Because I _care _about you, you cretin!' Her words were hoarse and desperate, as if she wanted to convince herself as much as she wanted to persuade him. 'Barbara Streisand help me but you _mean _something to me and…and I'm telling you that I'm not leaving you _idiot_!'

Puck stared at her, mouth agape.

'Did you just elevate Barbara fucking _Streisand _to a higher power?'

His words broke the heavy tension for some reason and Rachel found herself giggling though she didn't want to.

'_Honestly _Noah, we're trying to have a _moment_,' her joke was weak but elicited a muted smile from Puck nonetheless.

Suddenly he was tracking the pad of his thumb against her cheek and just like she had thought before, he was treating her like spun fragile glass that would break with the slightest amount of pressure. The warmth from his skin seeped into her chest and Rachel leaned into his touch and was grateful when he relaxed the tense set of his shoulders.

'You still need time,' he didn't phrase it as a question. Rachel nodded mutely. Puck did the same thing, not stilling the fingers tracing across her jaw.

'But I think we're going to be okay,' she whispered. Some of the doubt that was holding her back seemed to melt away and Rachel threw herself into Puck's arms, wrapping herself around his waist and pressing her cheek into his chest. The almost timid way Puck returned the gesture made her burrow her face into the place where his heart was beating.

Remembering some of the words Puck had sung before, Rachel thought that she had definitely felt like someone had ripped her insides out and that something had cracked into a million pieces when Puck had told her the truth.

But, feeling the gentle way Puck smoothed his hands down the curve of her spine, Rachel decided that was really when you did find out what your heart was made of.

She hoped hers was strong enough for the both of them.

**a/n:**

**I am currently witnessing my team go down 2-0 and it's not even half-time. **

**And I desperately want a donut.**

**Please review to make me feel better.**


	46. Chapter 46

Rachel walked to her locker, Puck by her side with his hands tucked into his pockets and guitar case slung across his back. Their footsteps echoed across the empty hallway. Glancing at her boyfriend out of the corner of her eye, Rachel wondered what exactly they were supposed to do from here.

_Finn has to be told._

Tapping her fingers against her thigh, Rachel chewed the inside of her cheek as she turned the thought over. While Finn had been…unkind towards her, she knew that the quarterback didn't deserve being strung along and manipulated by the girl who claimed to love him and his best friend. Recalling the haggard expression on Finn's face when he had confessed to her that _everything _was becoming too much, how the weight of bringing another human being into this world was weighing on him…

_He named the child Drizzle._

That was what made telling him the truth much more painful. Quinn had already convinced Finn that he was the father and despite how he had used Rachel's emotions against her, there was no denying the size of Finn's heart. The male lead had already let the child become a permanent fixture and to have someone tell you that it was all for naught was going to devastate Finn.

'Just say whatever's on your mind,' Puck's voice made her whip her head towards him. He was barely looking at her but the hard set of his mouth made her question whether they were ready to have this conversation.

_You're never going to be ready to have this conversation Rachel. May as well get it over with._

'You do know that you have to tell Finn the truth,' she told him softly. The muscles in his jaw flexed and Puck seemed to hunch into himself.

'Of course it'd be about Finn,' he muttered.

'What is _that _supposed to mean?' Rachel demanded. She watched the knuckles around the canvas strap on his shoulder bleach white.

'God didn't you fucking _listen _to me yesterday? The moment Finn knows Quinn is pretty much going to tell me to get fucked,' Puck responded angrily, throwing his hands up into the air.

'It isn't right for the two of you to decide that Finn-'

'Well sometimes maybe the golden boy gets screwed too,' Puck spat out.

Rachel reminded herself that this was a delicate subject, that he had every right to be angry at the situation.

_Don't cry. Don't cry._

'He's your _best friend _Noah,' she made sure to keep her voice level.

'Yeah, but that's my kid. I can't just…_this is my daughter _Rachel,' he looked as if he wanted to grasp her by the shoulders and shake her.

'Alright,' the word came out more sharply than she intended it to. Puck blinked and settled his eyes somewhere on her forehead, folding his arms across her chest. 'Clearly Quinn is the main obstacle in resolving this situation.'

Puck was already shaking his head. 'No. Stay out of this.'

_Excuse me?_

'What?' Rachel asked incredulously.

'I told you because, you know, you had to know. I didn't tell you so you can try and fix things. This isn't shit you can make right with your fucking gold stars and super shiny outlook on life.'

'I _sincerely _hope you're simply reacting out of misguided and repressed frustration and not because that is truly how you feel,' Rachel hissed through clenched teeth.

Puck finally allowed himself to look at Rachel and caught the naked hurt reflected in her eyes. Running his nails down his cheek, he wondered when he had actually become the asshole he always pretended to be. The girl in front of him had agreed to stand by his side after finding out he had knocked up Quinn and he was acting like _she _was the one with the problem.

Heaving a deep, cleansing sigh Puck spoke. 'I'm…sorry,' the words were difficult to get out because Puck thought he could count off the number of times he had actually said them out loud on one hand. Rachel softened slightly but still gave him a rigid stare, as if she wasn't quite sure whether he was going to lash out at her again.

The thought made him feel like an absolute dick because the last person that deserved to be hurt was Rachel Berry.

His girlfriend was still staring at him, not saying a word and Puck struggled to fill the silence.

'I'm not trying to be an asshole Rach but this entire thing is already fucked up. And it seems that every time I think Quinn is letting me in, she turns back around and bitch slaps me. I'm tired and I'm pissed and I just want to pretend that none of this is real, you know?' He rambled, letting his filter slip but making sure that he had averted his gaze away from Rachel. Because this tiny slip of a girl could see past what he was saying and read between the lines for what he was trying _not _to say to her.

'We don't have to discuss this right now if you don't want to,' she murmured, fiddling with her hands. He watched as her slender fingers knotted and twisted together in an elaborate, random pattern. 'But the moment you told me this you must have realized on some level that I'm going to be involved.'

Puck rubbed a hand through his hair, fingers digging into the thin skin of his scalp. Of course he had known that Rachel would want to _do something _about it. If there was one thing he had long since come to accept as fact, was that Rachel never passed up an opportunity to make things better for everyone but herself. It had been a slow and gradual process that perhaps many people had overlooked but Puck saw the way Rachel tried her best to ensure that _everyone _in Glee had an opportunity to shine. Sure there were certain times she insisted on a solo but most of the time she seemed more than happy to step aside and let someone else have the spotlight. Or at least she pretended to be.

'Can we just…not talk about this right now?' Puck hated how pleading his tone was. Because for the moment at least Rachel was _right there_ and talking about Quinn, discussing how badly he had fucked up, was kind of blunting the small high the feeling of Rachel's arms around him had engendered.

'Of course,' Rachel responded with a tight smile. Puck sighed internally as she spun the combination to her locker. It was only then that Puck noticed she didn't have her trolley bag with her.

'Where's your bag?' He asked casually, trying to pretend that everything was normal. Rachel must have noticed his weak attempt because she played along.

'Unfortunately Jose's mode of transportation isn't conducive to my regular choice in-'

'You came here with _Jose_?' Puck interrupted, clenching his fists. Rachel gave him an odd look before rolling her eyes.

'Yes, I came with Jose. Who, might I point out, you willingly corralled into checking up on me after school yesterday,' Rachel told him pointedly.

Yeah okay that was true. Knowing that Rachel didn't want to see him had eaten away at his stomach like acid and Puck had walked around in a sour mood all day, making Mike question whether his period was around the corner. Puck remembered the rather painful conversation he had had with Rachel's so-called best friend about her.

'**Hey Jose!' He had called after gym. The boy in question had turned towards him, the door to the locker room half open. 'Have you heard from Rachel today?'**

**Jose narrowed his eyes and Puck had to admit that there was something intimidating about him that set Puck's nerves on edge. Of course, the two of them were matched pretty evenly in terms of weight and size but Puck didn't want to test the theory whether his badass Fight Club skills would come out the winner. **

_**Also because it would piss Rachel off immensely.**_

'**She said she wasn't feelin' well,' Jose finally replied, that suspicious look still lingering behind his gaze. 'But we both know that's complete bull.'**

'**Look can you just stop by and make sure she's alright?' Puck had asked, leaning around the open locker to meet Jose's eyes. **

'**Why?' There was a threat buried somewhere inside there, Puck was sure. **

_**Because she doesn't want to see me and I have to know that she's okay.**_

'**I have to pick up my sister after school and I won't have time to stop by her place,' Puck offered with a straight face.**

**Jose raised an eyebrow. 'I don't know if you've heard of it, but there's this thing called a cellphone…'**

'**Look are you going to do it or not?' Puck interjected, some of his annoyance leaking through. Jose leveled a measuring once-over in his direction before turning back towards the exit.**

'**She gives me a reason Puckerman, and your ass is mine.'**

Puck could tell that the new Glee recruit didn't like him and the feeling was more than mutual. Maybe it was jealousy or maybe it was just the way Jose seemed to keep an extra eye on him, as if the idea that Puck was going to hurt Rachel was all but inevitable.

_You've already hurt her._

It was a slap in the face and Puck shook his head to clear it away.

'-there is no need to feel threatened by Jose Noah. This conversation is going to be repitious and _tiresome _if you don't trust me enough-'

'I do trust you,' Puck finally tuned in to what Rachel was saying. The petite brunette gave him a startled look but then angled her head away, as if she wasn't quite sure what to do with that information. Puck hovered by her shoulder, pulling at the guitar case and feeling the weight tug against his joints.

_Do you trust me? _

The queston hung unspoken between them and Puck saw Rachel place a few heavy books onto her arm.

'Here, I'll get those,' he murmured, reaching over to ease the load off her. Rachel pulled away and Puck let his hands drop uselessly to the side, feeling an ice-cube slide down his spine.

'That's alright. I'll see you at lunch,' Rachel said, tucking her hair behind her ear as she gently closed the door to her locker. Hugging her books to her chest, Puck wanted to smooth his fingers down those chocolate strands or have her reach for his hand. _Anything_. He had never known before how much touching Rachel meant to him until now. Touching meant they were _together _in a tangible, solid way. Touching meant that she was reaching out to him because she wanted to.

_She said she would stay. She said we would be okay._

_Actually she said she _thought _you would be okay. Big difference._

Swallowing the lump forming in his throat, Puck bobbed his head.

'Yeah okay. See you then,' his voice was hoarse. He hesitated before bending down and pressing a quick kiss on her forehead, pressing his own against her hair as he sucked in an inaudible breath. She didn't pull away from him, which he took as a good sign. Righting himself, Puck smoothed the fine hairs at her temple before pivoting on his heel.

He didn't look back.

If he did he would have seen Rachel wipe under her eyes with a shaky hand.

**a/n:**

**first off major kudos to AwesomeKid and MidnightWriter for offering to beta my work. So hopefully all those painful typos in the first forty-five chapters will decrease. ROUND OF APPLAUSE!**

**Second I use 'this' to indicate speech rather than "this" because of sheer laziness. Pressing the shift key requires effort…**

**Third, the song from last chapter was "Yet" by Switchfoot.**

**Also there seem to be many Chelsea supporters following this little ficlet. But my wrath towards Chelsea has diminished somewhat (except with regards to Ashley Cole) and been displaced onto Man City. But still. Let's not speak about what happened at Stamford Bridge last week and focus on the fact that WE BEAT LIVERPOOL TODAY! And the fact that Chelsea and Man Utd dropped points. Let's hope Arsenal win the Champions League. You know you want them to.**

**Finally (BRACE YOURSELVES) I am in the process of moving and my internet gets cut off sometime within the week and I have no idea when we get connected over at the new place. So hopefully in the midst of the craziness I can get out another chapter to satiate you guys, probably something less angsty because reading this is depressing me. TWO WORDS: Spring Formal (which I mentioned way, way back in previous chapters so two hoorahs for continuity).**


	47. Chapter 47

Rachel had pretended that everything was normal. As an aspiring actress, singer and dancer (it was helpful to be a triple threat in the industry today), she had taken it upon herself to act as if she had recovered from the twenty-four hour flu. Not only did it provide a justifiable excuse for just how _awful _she looked, but it also helped explain the lethargy that clung to her body like deadweight.

Gym had been her undoing.

Brittany had been chattering along beside her about Mike wanting to see _The Hurt Locker _and whether this was considered a date or just two friends hanging out when Rachel had seen Quinn. The pregnant teenager had been given a pass on strenuous physical activity and rather than spend the free period gym had previously occupied doing something else, the former head Cheerio had instead chose to sit amongst the risers and observe. It had been incredibly off-putting for Rachel at first because while she excelled at many things, sports were _not _one of them. Having the girl who had all but single-handedly made it her mission to smear Rachel's name, and who was also an incredible athlete, watch her attempt not to fall flat on her face or injure herself was nerve-wracking.

But now, _knowing _why Quinn couldn't participate and seeing the way the blonde's hand curved around her belly, Rachel found she couldn't pretend anymore. Mumbling something about feeling nauseous, Rachel had pivoted on her heel and darted towards the locker room as fast as she could. Her eyes were burning and it felt like something had lodged itself inside her chest.

_She's having Noah's baby. _

And of course that thought had led to her thinking about _how _they had conceived the child. It was times like this that Rachel cursed her overactive imagination. Slamming through the door, she heaved in a breath and sunk onto the wooden bench with her head between her legs.

_You can do this. What celebrity hasn't endured personal scandal? In a few years you'll look back on this as a chapter of personal growth._

_In a few years time Noah could decide that he wants to be with Quinn and his daughter._

_I'll be enjoying my success on Broadway by then. Julliard and then perhaps a role that would allow me to showcase my range-_

_Oh who are you kidding Berry? The possibility that Noah might decide to stay by your side was always in the back of your mind._

'Rachel? Are you okay?' Brittany's tentative voice called out and Rachel cursed under her breath. If she ignored Brittany her friend would only get more concerned.

'I'm fine,' Rachel prayed that her voice wasn't shaky. The worn sneakers that Brittany wore entered her line of sight and she took some comfort in studying the scuff marks and tattered laces - anything to purge her mind of the images lodged inside her head.

'Are you sure?' Brittany questioned, hesitant, and Rachel felt the dancer's long fingers curl around her shoulders. The feel of her hand against the cotton fabric of her t-shirt made something inside her squeeze and Rachel fluttered her lashes rapidly, trying to prevent the tears building up behind her eyes from spilling over.

She was going to stay by her boyfriend and he appeared to understand that she needed the time to wrap her head around the entire situation. But then he had kissed her so tenderly on the forehead before and Rachel had seen the hurt that he usually chose to keep behind his walls leak through when she had refused his offer to carry her books.

Rachel wasn't sure how she could hold Puck's hand or kiss him or _anything _without seeing him doing the same with Quinn.

So no, she wanted to scream at Brittany, she _wasn't _sure.

'Could you, perhaps, speak about something? Just…_anything_?' Rachel questioned and Brittany nodded her head uncertainly, her brown eyes running down Rachel's face before launching into a word-by-word recount of the telephone conversation she had had with Mike. Rachel let Brittany's voice calm her down and dug her fingernails into the palm of her hand.

'...just hoping that he'll ask me to the Spring Formal, you know?'

Rachel blinked and turned towards her. 'Spring Formal?'

Brittany gave her an odd look, her ponytail spilling down the side as she tilted her head sideways. 'Errr _yeah_? Where have you been? There's like posters and these big signs done in glitter _everywhere_.'

Swallowing, Rachel wanted to tell her that there were other things now preoccupying her mind.

'It's like a week away and Mike _still _hasn't asked me yet. So I'm hoping the fact that I'm willing to see a bunch of incredibly ripped Marines got blown up will act as some kind of, like, nudge in the right direction. No wait, a _sign_. Totally a sign,' Brittany said with an assertive nod. Rachel gave her a weak smile in response.

'Have you considered simply asking Michael yourself?'

Brittany looked affronted at the suggestion, wrinkling her nose and pulling her head back slightly. '_No_. I'm, like, way too hot to even consider that. Or at least that's what San tells me.'

'I see. But perhaps you need to factor in the possibility that this so-called hotness might intimidate Michael and render him unable to formulate the words necessary to request your hand as his partner at the Formal,' Rachel rambled, feeling some of the shakiness leave her knees.

Brittany narrowed her eyes. 'You only talk like this when you're _muncho_ feeling something.'

'I always speak this way,' Rachel told her innocently. Brittany rolled her eyes.

'Well yeah but, like, say you're upset at Puck you throw out all these big words and he goes all super quiet and frowns like this,' Brittany answered, furrowing her brown at pointing at the deep groove between her eyes. 'Like he can't decide whether he needs a dictionary or if he should just agree so you'll make out with him.'

'I must get upset at Noah a lot then,' Rachel mumbled.

'You don't fight because you're _mad _at each other,' Brittany replied and Rachel turned to look at her friend, who was giving her a sort of understanding smile. 'You guys fight because you _care _silly. Well, and also because it's a totally more PG-13 way to like manifest all that sexual tension.' The blonde Cheerio shivered and nudged Rachel on the shoulder.

'Really?'

Brittany fixed her with a serious look. 'You and Puck are like the Jewish and less wealthy versions of Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass.' Then her lips curved into a bright smile. 'Now let's get back out there before they think…well, something.'

Rachel put her hand tentatively into Brittany's and let the taller girl lead her out. As Brittany explained that Rachel had been feeling unwell to their gym teacher, Rachel cast her eyes over the risers and saw Quinn giving her an inscrutable look. Their gazes met and for a moment Rachel wondered what it was like to be Quinn, to have to be so angry and bitter and helpless about a situation that as the President of the Celibacy Club she shouldn't have had to contemplate. But then Rachel remembered how Quinn had lied to Finn, had been petty and vindictive towards Noah and she pulled her eyes away.

_I feel no sympathy. I'm just tired of being sorry._

Puck spent most of the day waiting for lunch. The first three periods passed by in a blur and he tapped his fingers against the desk impatiently, Mike giving him an irritated glare that Puck chose to ignore.

'Dude, _quit it_,' Mike hissed out of the corner of his mouth as Mrs Bartlett scratched something out on the board.

'Fuck you Chang,' was all Puck had to say in response.

'Mr Puckerman, would you mind telling the class one of the uses of liquid nitrogen,' Mrs Bartlett's loud tone drew both their attentions to the front of the classroom. Puck raised an eyebrow and shrugged his shoulders.

'I could pour some over Mike and then flick him into a million pieces?'

His friend actually gasped in outrage while Mrs Bartlett gave him a long-suffering look. The bell rang and Puck climbed to his feet abruptly, making his way towards the door as Mike stuffed his exercise book into his bag.

'Puck man, wait up!'

Knowing how fucking annoying Mike could be if he put his mind to it, Puck slowed down and plastered an irritated expression on his face.

'Yeah?'

Mike's eyebrows flew up. 'Why the heck are you still sulking like a five-year-old? Rachel's here and _not _dying of killer animal flu.'

'What the hell are you talking about?' Puck asked, confused.

'Not important,' Mike shook his head, placing a hand on Puck's shoulder to move him towards the cafeteria. 'What I'm saying is you shouldn't act all…_garhhh_!' Mike flexed his hands into claws and lunged them towards Puck, who was looking at him like he was insane.

'I'm going to pretend you didn't just do that,' Puck stated before stepping through the double doors to the cafeteria. He didn't expect Mike to place a hand on his shoulder.

'Seriously dude, is everything okay? Because, like, I can't braid your 'hawk or anything but I'd totally be willing to listen while I trim the sides.'

Puck casually brushed Mike's fingers off.

_Yeah Chang, I'm going to tell you that I fucked Quinn and now she's having my baby. Oh and that we've been lying to Finn though we both know that isn't the hardest thing to do. Did I mention that my girlfriend fucking hates me now?_

'You can take your mangina and shove it,' Puck retorted but gave Mike a look that was part grateful. His friend held his palms spread wide in the air as a form of surrender before reaching over to snag a tray at the start of the lunch line. Puck did the same; gripping the plastic tray so tightly he was afraid it might snap in two. Scanning his eyes over the crowd he strained to see Rachel's plaid shirt and denim skirt in the crowd. He spotted Jose at a table and nodded in greeting, momentarily taken aback when he saw Santana and the rest of the Gleeks ringed around the boy.

'Hey guys,' Brittany's voice chirped from the back and Puck twisted around to see Rachel by her side, giving Mike a smile and the corners of her mouth dimming slightly when she saw Puck. His gut twisted and Puck bit back the cynical chuckle that wanted to break free. Puck mumbled a greeting and turned back to face the front, digging his thumb against the rough mottled surface of the tray.

'Noah?' Rachel's soft question made him sigh internally but he angled his head in her direction.

'You want grape juice or something? I'll get it since I'm in line already,' Puck murmured, feeling Mike and Brittany's stares on the back of his head.

'Grape juice would be nice,' Rachel replied and the conversation felt stilted, like they were two strangers meeting for the first time and unsure of how to act around each other.

'Okay. We're sitting with the rest of the Gleeks right?' Puck held his breath, waiting for her to tell him that she would prefer that she have his lunch away from her; that she didn't want to be around him.

'Of course,' Rachel answered, flicking a nervous glance at Brittany before reaching over and giving his hand a quick squeeze. Her touch lingered all the way to the front of the line, as he fished out the change needed to pay for his food. Mike hummed something under his breath but didn't comment on his interaction with Rachel, something for which Puck was thankful.

Sliding into the seat next to Rachel, Puck plucked the juice box and set it down in front of her. Conversation continued to flow around them but the only thing Puck registered was the soft smile Rachel bestowed upon him. Then he felt her fingers close around his own, the phantom touch replaced by the real thing.

His shoulders felt lighter and some of the darkness that had started to set around him became a more vibrant grey as he squeezed her small, delicate fingers gently.

Because Rachel was touching him and that meant she was reaching out to him.

And right now that was something he could hold onto.

**a/n: **

**internet gets cut tomorrow, as does foxtel. Which means no football. NO FOOTBALL. Or TV. Digest that.**

**Follow me on alien09(dot)tumblr(dot)com for **_**North **_**updates, spoilers, etc. Actually for all my little ficlets. And we can bond over our shared love for Puckleberry. So come!**

**For Vampire Diaries fans, go and read "Decode" by yours truly because you know you want to.**


	48. Chapter 48

Rachel had always wondered about how touching someone could convey so much. A simple caress, a simple whisper of skin against skin and suddenly words were unnecessary to communicate what needed to be said. It was a large reason why she had interlaced her fingers with Puck's at lunch and the surprised and incredibly thankful look that had stole over his face had made her tighten her hold.

They hadn't really said much to each other after that. She had sipped from her juice box and nibbled absently at her salad while Puck had eaten his unappetizing school lunch with what she thought was an excessive amount of gusto. All the while she had been painfully aware of the warmth radiating off his muscular frame and the almost reverent way Puck had smoothed his thumb over her knuckles, sweeping it back and forth rhythmically. When it came time for them to part ways, Puck had looked down at her expectantly and torn, like he didn't know whether it was okay for him to peck her on the lips.

The thought made Rachel wonder how long that hesitance would remain between them and a part of her wanted to kick out at something in frustration.

Instead Rachel had compromised. Tipping up on her toes, she had given Puck a swift kiss on the cheek before heading off towards class, telling herself it was for the best if she didn't turn back around. The rest of the day had passed by in a blur and it was as if her mind and body had gone into autopilot. She could feel herself taking notes and looking at the blackboard as the teachers scratched out their lesson plan, but for the life of her Rachel couldn't recall what actually had been _said_. Brittany seemed to notice this because suddenly the tall, lithe cheerleader was pulling her arm away from the choir room before Glee.

'Okay. Now I _know _something is wrong. So, like, tell me what it is before I do something totally drastic,' Brittany blurted out. Rachel bit her lip and glanced to the side.

'And _don't _even try and say nothing's wrong because _puh-lease_,' her friend continued, scoffing. '_Well_?' Rachel took in her folded arms and sighed.

'I admit that there is something troubling me,' Rachel started, glancing longingly at the classroom door. Brittany must have noticed because she positioned herself between Rachel and the door.

'First there was the meltdown at gym and then at lunch you and Puck were all…weird,' Brittany settled, wrinkling her nose. 'Then you were holding hands so I thought it was just, you know, _you guys _but then _you kissed him on the cheek_! _No _girl in their right mind who has Puck wrapped around her delicate pinky would do that unless something happened.' An accusing finger was flung towards Rachel. Sighing, the petite girl fiddled with the ends of her hair.

Taking in the determined expression plastered over the Cheerio's face, Rachel knew that Brittany wouldn't brush this off like Jose. Jose would let her stew and wallow until she was ready to open up. Before that, he would simply pretend that everything was fine though Rachel simply attributed that to his dislike for discussing emotions and feelings. Rachel could remember only two such occasions when Jose had voluntarily sought her out, and each time seeing him lower his shields had left her slightly shaken.

'Hello? I'm still waiting,' Brittany demanded, tapping her foot impatiently.

Shaking her head, Rachel gave Brittany a weary smile. 'I don't think I can talk about it right now but your offer is most appreciative.'

There was a measured look, where the other girl seemed to study her before her shoulders lowered down in defeat. 'Alright, _fine_. Don't talk about it. But just let me know one thing – did Puck, like, phunk with your heart?'

'If you're referring to that forgettable song by the Black Eyed Peas, then I believe my answer is…a fifty-percent yes.'

'Should I kick his ass?'

Rachel actually looked aghast. 'What? _No_! No. Though the offer is somewhat tempting…' She murmured the rest under her breath.

'So he hasn't hurt you or anything? Because Puck may have muscle, but I can spit with deadly accuracy. Plus pirouette him to intensive care.'

For some reason Rachel felt warmth spreading through her chest. 'If I do need Puck dispatched via dance-related means, I'll be sure to inform you.'

'Okay then,' Brittany said, nodding her head. 'But you know if you ever need to unload, I'm here right? Like I know you and Jose have this whole secret past, bff thing going on and there's Kurt who _is _pretty much like a girl…but I'm _actually _a girl so yeah. Girl talk you know?'

'Thank you,' she replied with feeling and didn't pull away when Brittany looped her arm over her elbow, the two of them walking towards the Glee room with their arms threaded.

'So speaking of Jose, have you noticed the way San's been eyeing him? Like he's a Snicker's bar she wants to devour,' Brittany commented lightly.

'Could we _please _not compare Jose to a confectionary item?'

'Well it's a totally apt metaphor, don't you think? He's got this crunchy, tough interior and he's all smooth and yummy on the outside.' Rachel was horrified to see Brittany actually swoon.

'Well if Santana is interested it would be interesting to see how Jose responds,' Rachel decided to steer the conversation towards less disturbing avenues.

'Jose's _hot _Rach. Haven't you noticed?'

'While I agree with your assessment of his physical attributes,' Rachel told her, reveling in the normalcy of their conversation, 'Jose is like a brother to me. I have long since stopped thinking about him-'

'So you and him never…' Brittany trailed off, giving her a curious look. Rachel averted her eyes immediately and could feel the blood rush to her cheeks.

'Oh my _god_!' Brittany exclaimed loudly as they pushed open the door to the choir room. Rachel felt her face heat up even more when the rest of the Glee members swiveled their gaze towards the two of them. Sweeping her eyes away from Puck's inquisitive stare, Rachel pulled her friend closer and whispered into her ear through clenched teeth.

'It was _one _kiss _forever _ago.'

Brittany flashed her a disbelieving look. 'This isn't over,' was all Rachel heard before the blonde detached herself and headed towards Mike.

Puck furrowed his brow as Rachel shot Brittany a muted glare, cocking an eyebrow when she flounced into the seat next to him. Her lower lip jutted out in what he thought was a pout and for a moment he wanted to take it between his own lips.

'What's up?' He asked casually, laying his guitar down carefully into its case. Kurt leaned over Rachel's shoulder.

'What is up is that _cherie _managed to find the lovechild outfit of Daisy Duke and an erstwhile hillbilly friend. Rachel, I thought that-'

'Not now Kurt,' was Rachel's clipped reply and instead of being offended Kurt gave her a look.

'Me-_ow_.'

Rachel rolled her eyes and crossed her legs, making her short denim skirt ride further up her thigh. Puck licked his lips, staring at the expanse of tanned skin, before scratching his temple.

'Seriously Rach, is-'

'Mr Schue is here,' Rachel announced loudly, interrupting him and making Puck frown.

_Is she still mad?_

_Errr no shit Sherlock. What? You think because she held your hand everything's going to go back to the way it was?_

_Well, at least she's _less _angry right._

_Yeah. Whatever let's you sleep at night buddy._

Rubbing a hand down his mohawk, Puck tamped down the urge to expel a heavy, frustrated sigh. He _hated _not knowing what the fuck was going on between him and Rachel. They were still together, sure, but only just. Rachel had spouted off her adage about needing time and space and _of course _Puck understood why she needed the two. He hadn't been lying when he told her that he would have wanted nothing to do with him if the roles had been reversed.

_Face it dude, this girl's always going to be the better person. So you can either learn from it, embrace it or some shit like that. Or you can start to resent it._

Because part of him _wanted _her to be angry, wanted Rachel to scream and rail and _tell _him that he wasn't good enough to be a father right now. It didn't make sense because that went against everything he had said and thought up until now but the side of him that wanted someone to tell him to take responsibility, to put the figurative boot up his ass and _tell _him to do something about this entire fucked up situation…

_Puckerman, you're officially a fucking headcase._

_No what you are is too much of a fucking coward to do the right thing. Because Rachel's right man – Finn needs to know the truth._

Puck glanced to the side where the quarterback was seated next to Quinn, one hand absently stroking the curve of the blonde's shoulder as he listened intently to what Mr Schue was saying. The guilt that was always present reared its ugly head and Puck felt the acid in his stomach start to eat away at the lining. Sure Finn had been a bit of a douche but Puck had grown up in the sandbox with the kid, been there when his father had died in Iraq and Finn had stayed with him up in the tree when his own dad had disappeared. Friendship and loyalty echoed through his head and Puck squeezed his hands together in a death grip.

_Fuck this Secret Life of the American Teenager shit._

The scraping of chairs brought Puck back from his thoughts and he looked around to see everyone gathering at the front, Mr Schue twirling his fingers around as he got them into position.

'Ria you comin' over for dinner? _Mi madre _(my mother) wants to make sure you ain' a pile of bones or somethin',' Jose was asking his girlfriend, rolling his eyes as he spoke. Puck saw Rachel glance his way and pretended to be latching his guitar case with intense focus.

'Well, I'm not sure…'

'Look your _padres _ain' home right? Just stay over and we can ride to school tomorrow. Besides I'm pretty sure mi hermanito (my little brother) is in love wit'chu or somethin'.'

'I suppose it would be nice to not be alone tonight,' Rachel answered and Puck slammed down a bit more forcefully on the locks than he meant to.

_Why the fuck didn't she tell her dads were out of town?_

'Fine, I accept your invitation. Besides, I'm sure Maria will be more than happy to break out the baby albums,' Rachel joked and Puck felt his heart thud painfully when he saw the genuine warmth reflected in her features.

_She used to look at me like that. Before I decided telling the truth was worth this crap._

'Yeah whatever Ria. You think I don' got pictures of your time at Spartan stashed away somewhere?'

'You wouldn't!' Rachel gasped.

'Remember the time Amber and you ended up in the lake?' Jose said with a wicked smirk.

'I expressly told Felix to burn those pictures!' Rachel retorted though Puck noted she seemed surprised when Jose mentioned the name Amber.

'Please. Like my boy was goin' to let gold like that go to waste,' Jose snorted.

'Rest assured that Felix is going to receive a _lengthy _email detailing my displeasure,' Rachel mumbled and soon her words were lost as the opening strains of "Somebody To Love" filled the room.

Puck wanted to laugh at the irony, remembering that this was the last song they had sung together before everything had gone to hell.

He tried to ignore the way Rachel couldn't quite seem to be able to hold his gaze throughout the song, or the way his voice would waver at certain parts when her eyes flickered towards his jaw.

Most of all he tried to forget about how easy and happy Rachel had been with Jose. Because Puck didn't think the words _easy _or _happy _could even begin to describe the state of their relationship at the moment.

Yeah, life _sucked_.

**a/n:**

**This chapter was a biznitch to write. I'm not happy about it but yes. It is what it is. **

**If you review, I'll make sure to get the next chapter up asap **

**Once again, sorry for the delay! Oh and be sure to head over to www(dot)alien09(dot)tumblr(dot)com because I've posted a small part of an original story that I'm writing and I want feedback!**


	49. Chapter 49

Dinner with Jose's family was warm. Teresa Navarro had pinched her cheeks and clucked over the fact that she was wasting away. Miguel, her friend's little brother, had hung onto her every word while his big brother had rolled his eyes, muttering under his breath about how idolatry was considered supremely un-Catholic. The house that Teresa had managed to rent out was small but comfortable. Artwork that Miguel had brought home from school was stuck proudly on the refrigerator (alongside Jose's report card from Spartan, which Rachel was proud to note contained nothing below a B), pictures of the three Navarros hung or displayed in picture frames wherever there was space.

It was before one of these pictures that Rachel stood, tracing a finger down the dark wooden frame as she surveyed a moment captured before her departure from Spartan.

'There you are,' Jose's voice startled her slightly and Rachel shot him a muted glare as he smirked.

'I didn't know someone had a camera,' she murmured, turning back towards the photograph. Jose drew up alongside her, one hand absently scratching his stomach as he answered.

'Yeah, it was Alejandro. Remember how he got that new camera from his parents?'

'We look happy,' she commented, tapping the pad of her finger against Enrique's grinning face. 'I miss him.'

'Yeah, I miss him too,' Jose remarked, the sadness laced through his voice both a condemnation and grief. Rachel reigned in the urge to place a comforting hand on his arm, knowing that her best friend preferred it that way, and slid the same finger down the outline of a pretty girl with fiery red hair snuggled against Jose's scowling figure.

'I miss her too, you know? Sometimes,' Jose offered, shrugging carelessly as Rachel flashed him a shocked look. Ever since Amber had left Spartan, Jose had refused to mention her name or even acknowledge her existence. Most of it was due to anger, a kind so deep-seated and visceral that Rachel found herself afraid of going near him. But there was another facet – the grief – that had coloured over the anger like a lace fan, shadowing and muting some of the hurt and pain while at times letting them show through the gaps. Spying the name tattooed onto his neck, Rachel contemplated that her best friend was a textbook study on not letting things go.

_Just like you aren't ready to accept Noah's transgressions, are you Berry?_

'Have you…have you heard from her?' Rachel ventured, pushing the thought ruthlessly to the side. She wasn't going to think about Puck and the baby tonight.

'No,' the curt, sharp bite to his tone made Rachel nod her head.

'_Los niños, el postre está listo_ (Children, dessert is ready)!' Teresa called from the kitchen.

'C'mon. She made _quesillo _because she knew you were comin',' Jose said, nudging her shoulder towards the dining area. Rachel took one last look at the picture, memorizing the rapturous expression on Enrique's face with a pang, before following her friend.

'Thank you _tía_ (aunty),' Rachel told Teresa, accepting the plate of vanilla flan gratefully. Jose and Miguel were already halfway through their own and both women shared an exasperated smile before tucking into their own.

'How is school _mi estimado_?' Teresa asked in between a bite.

The question was so normal, something that a parent would ask their child, that Rachel forced herself to swallow the dessert in her mouth before answering. Her fathers would ask her that, of course, but only if they were home.

'It's school Ma,' Jose replied.

'Don't speak with your mouth full,' both Rachel and Teresa said at the same time, eliciting a humoured giggle from Miguel while Jose frowned.

'I was asking Rachel _mijo _(short for _mi hijo_ – my son),' Teresa chastened.

'School is wonderful _tia_,' Rachel answered, 'I've managed to keep ahead in my classes by subtly suggesting to my teachers that perhaps it would be beneficial for my academic future if they supplied me with the lesson plan a week ahead so that I could be adequately prepared. While this was met with initial resistance,' Rachel continued, frowning slightly when she recalled the affronted look on Mr Russell's face, 'gradually my superb negotiating skills wore them down.'

'You mean you talked them to death,' Jose uttered and Rachel kicked him squarely in the shin, all the while giving Teresa a bright smile.

'And you're still singing?'

'Of course,' Rachel told Teresa, like the very idea of her _not _singing was possible. 'While admittedly show choir is simply an avenue whereby I can express my creativity and polish my instrument, and also provide an excellent bullet point on my college applications, I've found that the camaraderie fostered in our little group has exceeded my expectations.'

'You're only sayin' that because you're goin' out with one of 'em,' Jose announced with a victorious smirk, reveling in his mother's enthusiastic appreciation of his words.

'And who is this young man that has captured our Rachel's heart?' Teresa asked, placing her plate down on the table.

'Wait,' Miguel interjected, furrowing his brow. 'You have a _boyfriend_? _Now_?'

'Yeah, because you stood a chance _enano_ (midget),' Jose scoffed at his little brother.

'Hush,' Teresa flapped her hands at her sons, looking at Rachel expectantly.

'Oh. Well, his name is Noah. He's the male lead and he plays football. And he's Jewish as well,' Rachel answered, shrinking down in her seat in embarrassment.

'He walks around with a landin' strip on his head _madre_,' Jose thought he should tell Teresa.

'Simply because Noah chooses to rebel via his rather unorthodox haircut,' Rachel started, flicking narrowed eyes at Jose's smiling face. 'Does not mean that you can-'

'Does he treat you right?' Teresa cut her off and Rachel turned back towards Jose's mother, who was watching her carefully.

_He's sweet, caring and tries his hardest not to hurt you._

_He threw slushies at me for a year before he realized that he was wrong._

_He's having a child with Quinn._

_He calls you Caroline…_

'Noah would never do anything to hurt me deliberately,' Rachel finally answered. Teresa was silent for a beat, scrutinizing the way Rachel bit her lip, before nodding her head.

'Good. You tell that boy if he does anything to upset you, he'll have someone to answer to,' the older woman stated firmly, climbing to her feet and stacking the empty plates one by one.

'Let me do those,' Rachel scrambled to her feet, reaching out towards the dirty dishes.

'You're a guest-'

'I absolutely insist _tia_,' Rachel pressed, already gently prying the china away from Teresa's hands. 'You've slaved over a hot stove to prepare this delicious meal for us. The least I can do is clean up. Don't worry, Jose will be more than happy to help.'

'What?' Jose piped up. He must have noticed the weariness etched onto his mother's face as well because soon her friend was getting up grudgingly. 'Go to bed Ma. We got this.'

Teresa shot them both a grateful look before clapping her hands together. 'Alright Miguel, _lejos a la cama_ (off to bed)!'

'Awww Ma…' The younger boy whined.

'It's a school night _mijo_. No arguing. Jose and Rachel are going to bed as soon as they're done. Unless you want to help them?' Teresa questioned, raising an eyebrow. Miguel quickly bid them goodnight, reaching over to give Rachel a hug and receiving a hearty clap on the back from his older brother. Shaking her head as her youngest son thundered towards his room, Teresa pressed a kiss on both her son's and Rachel's cheeks. '_Buenas noches niños (_Good night children_)_. Sleep well.'

'You too _tia_,' Rachel replied while Jose told his mother to go to bed. 'Come on Jose. I need the requisite eight hours to ensure my complexion and attitude remain clear.'

'Ria, you take beauty sleep to a whole 'nother level,' Jose snorted.

'Forgive me if I fail to see the appeal in sleeping half the day away when there are more productive things to be done,' Rachel retorted smartly, placing the dishes in the sink and filling it with water. 'I'll wash and you dry.'

'Puck's been treatin' you good, right?' Jose's question was unexpected.

'He's been treating me _fine_,' Rachel replicated the short tone Jose had adopted earlier when she had asked him about Amber.

_Don't think about Noah, remember? You can do that tomorrow. Right now…right now just live for the moment._

Deciding that deflection was needed, Rachel scrubbed the plate in her hand particularly viciously.

'Besides, I've been meaning to ask you about Santana.'

'You're shittin' me.'

'I assure you, Jose, that I am not. It has been brought to my attention that Santana apparently considers you a Snickers bar. And judging from the predatory looks that I have observed recently, I must say that my anonymous source is right.'

'Ain't no way I'm hookin' up with a chick the football team calls _Senorita Loca_,' Jose answered, grabbing the dishtowel and wiping off the water from the plates as Rachel stacked them on the rack.

'I always thought you liked a challenge.'

'Mike told me she dumped Puckerman because of his credit score.'

Rachel blinked. 'Oh. Well, I'm sure financial stability is probably something she looks for in a partner.'

_That's why she broke up with Noah? Over his credit score?_

'Whatever,' Jose snorted.

'Well perhaps the Spring Formal would be an ideal venue to test the waters so to speak.'

'I am _not _askin' Santana,' Jose informed her blandly. 'And I know you aren't gonna shut up about the dance until it comes, so disclaimer – I don't give a damn.'

'Actually, I haven't discussed with Noah whether we're attending,' Rachel heard herself say and immediately wished she could take back the words. Just because Jose didn't want to talk about their feelings didn't mean he couldn't pick up that there were things she hadn't told him.

'Seriously Ria,' Jose started and Rachel held up her sud-covered hands in warning.

'No offence Jose, but tonight I simply want to wash these dishes and go to bed.'

'Yeah okay. No chick flick moments.'

Rachel couldn't help herself. She giggled. 'Noah says the exact same thing.'

Jose grimaced and Rachel felt the laughter trail off. 'I don't understand the animosity that you harbour towards Noah Josiah. He's my boyfriend and if you both are going to engage in ridiculous displays of alpha male posturing everytime you're within close range of each other-'

'Trust me, the animosity thing is mutual. Puckerman probably thinks I'm tryna put the moves on you,' Jose said, waggling his eyebrows comically.

'You cannot be serious,' Rachel answered, voice flat.

'Blame it on the testosterone,' was all Jose said, placing the last plate into the cupboard.

'I've told him _repeatedly _that there is nothing but friendship between the two of us!' Rachel raised her voice towards the end, earning her a reprimanding glare as Jose gestured towards his mother's room. Rachel immediately lowered her voice, following behind him towards Jose's room.

'We're guys Ria. I know if I had someone like me hangin' out with my girl, I'd be pissed.'

'Well, then you are both idiotic. Not to mention narcissistic,' Rachel informed him in a harsh whisper, twisting open the door to his bedroom.

'Blame it on the t-t-t-t-testosterone,' Jose sang, mimicking Jamie Foxx as he gathered up a pillow and spare blanket.

'_Goodnight _Jose,' Rachel couldn't help but smile at his antics, swinging her head from side to side ruefully as the boy gave her what could only be described as a mischievous salute.

'Oh and don't worry. I changed the sheets just for you,' Jose said before heading towards the sofa bed in the living room. Rachel had tried, and failed miserably, at convincing Jose and Teresa that the pullout was more than adequate but had been told in no uncertain terms that it was the bed or nothing.

'Boys are disgusting,' Rachel wrinkled her nose, glancing down at the plain black sheets before locking the door behind her. Shimmying into her pajamas and climbing into bed, Rachel pulled the covers up to her chin after setting the alarm on her cell. Seeing that she had a text message from Puck, she worried her lip before opening it.

**Gnite Caroline.**

Sighing, she placed her Blackberry on the nightstand softly and turned her back towards it.

_So much for not thinking about him._

Later that night she dreamed of Puck strumming a guitar, leaning forward towards her as he sang "Sweet Caroline". His eyes were soft and liquid and Rachel saw herself smiling, Teresa smiling softly by the piano as Miguel blew on a trumpet. Quinn sat off by the side with a baby cradled in her arms, Finn hovering protectively by the blonde's side. Jose was rolling his eyes behind her. As Puck hit the crescendo towards the end, her best friend whispered in her ear.

'At least he makes you feel special Rach.'

'Yes,' she heard her dream-self say without hesitation. 'He does.'

**a/n:**

**Someone should start a Glee Fanfiction Awards thing. I'd vote for smc-27. Everything he/she writes is famazing.**

**Sorry about the not-as-frequent updates. Uni's started and I'm doing my law honours this semester. It's kicking my ass. But I'm going to try and update at least once a week.**

**And oh, could we perhaps break the 2,000 barrier by Chapter 50? Pretty please? Reviewed 1,900 and 2,000 get one-shots.**

**And to my beta – your one-shot is WIP **

**And I'm trying to write an original short story. Any suggestions?**

**As always, your reviews = FTW.**


	50. Chapter 50

**a/n: first off, sorry for the Spanish. I in no way speak the language so I was using freetranslation(dot)com and obviously they were wrong. So I've taken out most of the Spanish and just did it in English and will do that from now on. Again, sorry if the mistranslation offended you and that it's taken me this long to rectify it.**

**That being said, enjoy! And let's reach for 1,900 reviews! Woohoo!**

Puck had spent the majority of last night pissed off.

This wasn't anything new of course. Anger was something he could understand, could feed off and fuel whatever the hell it was that made him keep going. As a kid, Puck had stood impotently by the side and held his tongue as his mother sobbed behind her bedroom door. Abigail had caught him sitting outside once and the muted smile she had sent her oldest child did nothing to diminish the white-hot rage that his eight-year-old body had felt course through his veins like ether. He had torn away from her grip and tackled his father into the ground, beating the man with his fists and yelling and screaming at the top of his lungs that he _hated _him.

'Yeah,' his old man had replied, depositing Puck roughly to the floor and meeting his son's hard glare with dead eyes, 'try having a deadbeat for a son.'

Trying to forget that Rachel was currently shacked up with Jose, Puck had turned on his Playstation and gotten his Kratos on. It had been mildly cathartic dismembering dead skeletons and that giant horse thing for a solid thirty minutes. The Blades of Exile spun and whirred around like ribbons of death and Puck leaned on his controller, pretending that he didn't have a baby on the way, that his girlfriend hadn't sung to his chin during Glee and that he wasn't lying to his best friend. It was the last thought that had made Puck sigh wearily and throw himself onto the bed.

_Well sometimes maybe the golden boy gets screwed too._

After sending the text to Rachel (god, when the fuck did he become _that _guy?), his words had looped around his head. Puck had woken up this morning with a decision made. Which was why he had been expecting the reaction Quinn was giving him right now.

'Are you _insane_?' The blonde hissed through her teeth, blue eyes widening. 'Finn will kill you.'

Puck shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. 'It isn't like I wouldn't deserve whatever the hell he does to me.'

'What about me? He's going to know that I-'

'Lied?' Puck sneered out, giving a dark chuckle in response.

'Oh don't even pretend to be some kind of saint Puckerman. You were right there beside me when I did it.' There was that trace of vulnerability on Quinn's face that often seem to flicker past like the beat of butterfly wing's and for a moment Puck felt himself soften slightly because for all the talk that Quinn did, she was just as afraid as him of being left alone.

'Look, I just can't keep doing this. Lying to him. The guy's been with me through shit and we're both just stringing his gullible gigantic ass along. For pete's sake Quinn, he named it _Drizzle_. We're already past the point of no fucking return.'

'And what brought on this sudden urge to tell the truth?' Quinn demanded, throwing her hands up in the air. 'Because once Rachel finds out she's going to-'

'No, she won't,' Puck stated firmly, clenching his fists when her lips compressed into a thin, almost invisible line.

'You _didn't_,' Quinn said, almost pleading. Puck rubbed a hand down his face and averted his eyes away. 'Oh my god. _You did_. You told the school freak show-'

'Don't talk about her that way,' Puck instantly snapped back.

'Was she the one that told you to tell him? She was hung up on Finn Puckerman, what makes you think this isn't some way for her to get into his pants?'

'Shut the hell up,' Puck replied, grinding his molars together. 'You know shit about Berry and me.'

Quinn laughed, something broken and malicious that made Puck wonder what he had ever seen in her. 'So she just took the fact that you had sex with me and swallowed it? Just like that?'

'I'm telling Finn Quinn,' Puck managed to spit out, deflecting. Like hell was he going to get into the details of the fucking shit storm his relationship was in right now.

'Tell me what?'

Quinn's eyes managed to get as large as saucers and for a moment Puck felt his body freeze. He wasn't quite sure whether it was fear or something else, but taking note of his erratic heartbeat and rapidly beating pulse Puck figured this was what Poseidon must have felt like after Kratos was done pounding his head against the rough hewn rock. Finn stood by the doorway (fuck, why hadn't he shut the door?), glancing suspiciously between his girlfriend and best friend.

'Tell me what?' The quarterback repeated, chancing a step closer towards the pair. Quinn was clenching her jaw shut and the blood was starting to drain from her face, making her alabaster skin pale as a sheet.

_Do it. He needs to know. _

_What about your daughter? Quinn's never going to let you see her now._

_She already knows you told Rachel. You're fucked as all hell anyway._

_Besides, Rachel will fix this. She will._

'Hey man,' Puck said cautiously, swallowing the lump in his throat. 'What's up?'

Finn frowned, noticing the weird inflection in Puck's voice as well. 'Nothing. I finally figured out why they call Pop Tarts Pop Tarts. They pop outta the toaster or something.'

_Right._

'Finn, could you get me some water?' Quinn asked and Finn blinked before nodding.

'Okay. Sure. Do you want the bottled kind or the tap kind? Because the last time I gave you some from the tap you-'

'Quinn doesn't need any water,' Puck interrupted, glaring at Quinn.

'She just asked me for some,' Finn responded.

'Yes. Because I do,' Quinn fired back, fixing Puck with a glare. _Don't do this_, her eyes seemed to be telling him. _You do this and there's no going back._

'Trust me. She fucking doesn't.'

'Screw you Puck,' Quinn seemed to lose her grip on her fraying nerves. Maybe it was the hormones but Puck felt himself taking a _small _step back voluntarily.

'Will someone please tell me what's-'

_It's like ripping off a fucking band aid right? _

'You're not the father Finn,' Puck finally blurted out. The tall boy stared at Puck.

'What?' The word was hoarse, disbelieving. 'Is this some kind of joke?'

'Dude, you cannot knock someone up with your swimsuit _on_,' Puck pointed out and heard Quinn gasp wetly.

_Don't look at her. Don't look at her. This is the right thing. Rachel said so. You know so._

Finn looked confused for a second before shifting his gaze towards Quinn. Puck could hear her take uneven, short gasps and knew that her eyes would be glassy.

'Is he telling the truth?' When Quinn didn't answer, Puck watched as Finn's face faltered. 'Is he?' This time the question was said louder and Puck noticed a few students peering inside the room.

_Great. The peanut gallery._

'Finn…'

'So he is?' Finn's voice was steadily getting louder and the blood was rushing to his face. Puck steeled himself, tensing his body the way he had learned how to do when his father was still around.

'I'm sorry,' Quinn whispered so quietly that Puck could barely hear her. The muscle above Finn's eyebrow pulsed and he knew that Finn had heard her.

'Son of a bitch!' The next thing Puck knew Finn was on top of him, drawing back his hand and planting it square on the side of his jaw. The sharp bite, the painful sting…they combined and Puck blinked, finding himself eight again and pressing a hand to stop his lip from bleeding and his father shaking out his fist.

_That'll teach you something._

'Finn!' Quinn shrieked and Puck found himself on the floor, an angry (former) best friend ready to strike again. Bucking his hips, Puck wiggled away when he got the room, pushing himself back onto his elbows and feeling the side of his face, something wet brushing onto the pads of his fingers. Drawing them back, Puck looked down and saw something red smeared across.

'Dude, what the hell?' Mike's voice didn't register as Puck continued to stare morbidly at the blood. _His _blood.

'I _trusted _you! The both of you! And you both fucking _lied _to me about _everything_!' Finn said, spit flying from his mouth. Mike stood by, confused and dumbfounded. Puck imagined they must look a sight – him bleeding, Finn Hulking out and Quinn looking like a wrecked Barbie doll.

'Finn, man, you need to calm down,' Mike tried, noticing that Quinn was actually crying right now.

'Tell him. Tell him what you did, you _bastard_!' Finn said, looking straight at Puck. Quinn's sobs echoed as Puck didn't say anything.

'_Noah_?' Rachel's horrified gasp sounded from behind Mike and Finn. Puck saw that she was wearing jeans and took a small moment to admire the way they clung to the curve of her hips. Rachel pushed past Finn, who looked even more murderous when the petite girl feathered her fingers across Puck's jaw.

'_Fuck_,' he mumbled inaudibly and Rachel's ministrations halted.

'Rachel,' Finn started.

'Did you do this?' Rachel cut him off, twisting around and waiting expectantly. Finn appeared startled before nodding.

'Physical violence is _not _the answer,' Rachel turned back towards Puck, who saw Finn's eyes narrow.

'He's the father Rach,' Finn spat out like it was something poisonous, looked at Puck like he was the snake that had sunk the venom into his veins. 'He – _they – _pretended that-'

'That is no reason to make the mother of an unborn child distraught, or punch my boyfriend,' Rachel replied coldly, flashing her eyes towards Quinn. Finn didn't even look at the blonde. 'Michael, could you please escort Finn somewhere private? Brittany, take Quinn.'

Puck hadn't even noticed the Dutch Cheerio.

'But Rachel-'

'Finn, I understand that right now you're feeling angry, confused and hurt. Maybe even disappointed. Being in the same room as them isn't going to make it better. Now allow Michael to lead you towards the locker room. _Please_.' Rachel's tone brooked no argument. Mike looked just as surprised as Puck did when Finn turned towards the lanky Asian boy, as if waiting for him to leave so he could follow.

'Both of you…it's over. Don't come near me again,' were Finn's parting words and Brittany cradled Quinn into her arms as the former head Cheerio's knees buckled.

'Does it hurt?' Rachel murmured and Puck shook his head, though his lip stung like a bitch and his jaw was throbbing like hell.

'Are you happy now? Is this what you wanted?' Quinn choked out and Puck dug his nails into the palm of his hand. Was she kidding? Did she think he had actually _wanted _that? To have Finn tell him that he was dead to him?

'This was never what I wanted,' Puck heard himself say, voice like sandpaper. Rachel nodded and Brittany cooed something into Quinn's ear, pushing her through the throng of onlookers that had gathered outside. Patting a finger against his forehead, Rachel rose to her feet and reached for the door.

'Show's over. Unfortunately, I'm afraid there isn't time for an encore,' she announced imperiously before slamming the door shut in their faces. She leaned heavily against the wooden portal, head leaning back before reclining it forward.

'Nice jeans,' Puck remarked, his voice coming out gruff instead of light. Rachel didn't say anything, instead coming to sit by his side.

'You told him.'

'Yeah,' Puck replied defensively.

'After you told me-'

'Dating you is like growing a fucking conscience, alright Berry? So whatever. The truth is out there now,' Puck replied, letting his elbows fall away as he rested his head against the linoleum.

'It was the right thing to do Noah,' she said.

'Whatever you say,' he answered, staring up at the chipped ceiling.

'_**You shouldn't have done that Noah,' Abigail admonished, seeing her son hold a wad of tissue paper to his lip to stop the bleeding. **_

'_**I had to Ma. It was the right thing to do.'**_

_**The next day, his father was gone.**_


	51. Chapter 51

Hey guys!

Sorry for the unintended fake-out. I know everyone wants this updated. But I've decided to wait until I've seen the new episode because I just need to correct the horrible injustice that Ryan Murphy and Co have inflicted on us. I mean FINCHEL and QUICK?

Gag me.

But I saw the preview and I'm Team Jesse

So pinky swear this will be updated in the next week or two!

Oh and vote please: I'm thinking of doing a fic that stays true to the back nine but with a Puckleberry twist. If you say yay, leave a review.

Alien09


	52. Chapter 52

**a/n: here it is everyone! The song is Rain by Patty Griffin. If you read, please review.**

**Also pimping my other fics here:**

**Decode and Two's Company, Three's a Crowd - Vampire Diaries (it's addictive. Shut up)**

**Over the Edge of the Burning Sun - So long as the heart of the Mother Confessor beats, they will be victorious. A Supernatural fic inspired by Legend of the Seeker.**

**Pretty please?**

**That is all. Enjoy my friends.**

**

* * *

  
**

'It was the right thing to do Noah,' Rachel assured him, the blood on his fingers making her feel queasy.

'Whatever you say,' her boyfriend answered, barely glancing her way as he stared up at the ceiling.

There was something broken about him, a fragile quality that Rachel wouldn't normally associate with Puck. He was just so _big_, so _strong _that at times she forgot that Puck and Noah were simply two sides of the same coin.

'With time, I'm sure Finn will-'

'God Rachel, didn't you hear what he just said? He pretty much told me to fuck the hell off,' Puck retorted and there was no mistaking the pain that curled around his words. 'Plus, who knows what the fuck kind of trauma Quinn just went through. I'd be lucky even she even lets me _look _at my kid again.'

'Noah,' she said, inching closer towards him. She tentatively reached for his forehead, smoothing her fingers gently down the deep furrows etched onto the skin. Puck shuddered for a moment but didn't move otherwise. Rachel frowned, the worry slowly crawling over her skin and making her restless. For some reason she wanted Puck to get angry, to _do anything _other than just lie there as if resigned to some fate that he thought he deserved.

And that seemed to be his problem, Rachel thought with increasing frustration. Ever since Puck had told her about the baby, she couldn't ignore the acceptance that weaved through his tone whenever he spoke about the situation Quinn, Finn and him had found themselves in. It was as if Quinn had seen the attachment that both boys felt for the child and twisted it to her advantage, not even considering the repercussions that would result from her actions.

_Then again, Quinn must be scared too._

Shaking her head, Rachel inched her fingers over towards Puck's skull. The hairs and stubble caught against the pads of her thumb.

'I'm proud of you, you know?' She whispered and this time Puck did turn to look at her.

'Of what? Living up to my reputation as a Lima Loser?' The harsh bitterness was prevalent. Rachel sighed and laid the palm of her hand against his cheek.

'No. Of doing something that you knew had the potential to-'

'News flash Berry – the _potential _of my best friend and baby mama hating me just freakin' happened,' Puck cut in and Rachel felt her mouth snap shut.

'There's no reason to take your anger out on me,' she snapped back, feeling vaguely hurt. Puck sighed through his nose and Rachel retracted her hand, folding it into her lap.

'Could you just leave? I need to be alone right now before I end saying something that I shouldn't,' Puck asked her and Rachel nodded wordlessly, despite the fact that she desperately wanted to take her hand in his, offer some measure of comfort to ease away the pain he must be feeling.

'Are any of your injuries in need of medical care?' Rachel queried softly. She saw Puck rub his jaw and touch his nose.

'No,' he simply said but Rachel felt something inside of her twinge as she heard the words he didn't speak. _I deserve the pain._

'Okay then. I'll just…I'll be here if you need me,' she said in that same quiet voice, as if she was afraid that anything louder would shatter the air inside the room. She tried to pretend that it didn't eat away at her that Puck did't want her in there with him, to allow her to share his burden the way she wants him to.

_Do you really want to do that Rachel? And isn't it just a little selfish to expect Noah to pour his heart out to you when it clearly is within his nature to bottle everything up inside?_

_That is supremely unhealthy._

_It doesn't matter that you do it too?_

Rachel shook her head, giving Puck's prone form one last glance over her shoulder, before opening the door. She wasn't surprised to see a few students still hanging around and she fixed them with a heated glare that she'd seen Puck give numerous times. Honestly, didn't these people have anything better to do?

'Hey,' Jose's voice alerted her to the fact that her best friend had been leaning just beside the entrance to the classroom. His face was unreadable and Rachel wondered whether that was deliberate. 'So that's what's been eatin' you huh.'

Rachel felt marginally better that now everyone _knew_, that she didn't have to pretend anymore that this thing between Noah and her wasn't something trivial that could be brushed aside.

'Yes. Noah's the father,' the words spilled from her lips and the impact still reverberated through her small frame. She hugged her arms around herself, pressing her nails into the skin of her upper arms. Jose was looking at her, not saying a word. Rachel bit her lip and angled her head away from him because she knew that she was barely keeping herself together, that the thin thread of composure she had forced upon herself was slowly fraying.

'Mike took Finn to the locker room and last I saw, Brit was haulin' Quinn's cryin' ass towards the bathroom,' Jose offered instead and Rachel felt her shoulders relax marginally. 'He okay?'

Rachel winced at the question, her muscles tensing back up. 'He simply wants to be alone right now.' _Don't turn around and look at the door. Just don't._

'I know what the guy's going through _chica_ so don't read anythin' into it. He's got a lot of shit to sort through and we don't like doin' it with an audience,' Jose told her, shrugging. Rachel jerked her head forward, feeling her throat close up.

_You told him to do this. It's your fault he's feeling this way. You were so sure of yourself._

'Hey Rach?' She lifted her eyes to look into Jose's dark ones. 'You can hug me if you want.'

Rachel flashed him a watery smile and threw herself into his arms, burying her face into his chest and gulping down air as if she were drowning. Jose patted her on the back, stroking the back of her neck in small circles. She remembered the way Noah's fingers felt like hot brands through her hair. Jose's felt like a feather down blanket. Comforting but in a different way entirely.

'I need to go speak with Finn,' she said after a minute. Jose tightened his grip on her before settling his hands on her shoulders, his gaze serious.

'You need me to come with you?'

Rachel curled her fingers around his wrists, slowly easing them away. 'I'll be fine Josiah. _Honestly_.'

'I'm just sayin' dude isn't exactly a big friendly giant right now.'

'Finn wouldn't hurt me. I assure you. Besides I think a little anger is allowed considering the circumstances, don't you think?' Rachel tried to wing up an eyebrow. Jose tilted his head before stepping to the side.

'Yeah okay. But if he does anything I'm pretty sure Puck will kill him,' the smirk he sent her way made Rachel smile.

'Noah is excessively protective of me.'

'Least he's got his priorities,' Jose replied and Rachel wondered why it took Puck having a child out of wedlock to wheedle out such high praise from her best friend. Maybe it was because they now had something in common.

'Could you just…make sure no one disturbs him?' Rachel asked weakly. To her relief Jose nodded.

'Don't worry Ria. I got this.'

Rachel fiddled with the hem of her shirt, setting off towards the boys' locker room with her head held high. Mike was standing outside, drumming his fingers impatiently against his thigh.

'Thank you for waiting Michael,' Rachel's words seemed to startle him. The lanky teen practically jumped out of his skin, looking over her shoulder as if to search for something.

'Noah's taking a moment for himself,' she said, half in warning. Mike acknowledged it, gesturing towards the closed door.

'Finn's in there and he's calmed down some. But he's kind of…tetchy,' he finished lamely. Rachel studied Mike's expression and patted him on the arm.

Mike ran a hand through his short hair, making tufts of it stick out on end in certain places. 'I can't believe he would do something like that to Finn,' he mumbled and Rachel wanted to say _He did it to me and I'm perfectly fine with it_. But she wasn't so the thought fizzled out of her head.

'Noah had his reasons Michael. I hope you give him a chance to explain before judging how he handled the situation.'

Mike hummed something non-committal and Rachel gave his hand a squeeze before knocking on the door.

'Go _away _Chang!' Finn sounded irate.

'When I met tetchy I meant he's reached that point in his man-struation period,' Mike offered sarcastically. 'I'll wait out here until you're done.'

'Really Mike, there isn't any need,' Rachel said out of the corner of her mouth before announcing in a loud voice that it was her.

'Whatever. Puck will kill me if I left you alone with Finn so if it's all the same to you, I'll just get my guard duty on,' Mike replied, lifting his shoulders in feigned nonchalance. When Finn didn't reply, Rachel pushed open the door, mouthing a _thank you _before it swung shut behind her.

Finn was sitting on one of the benches and Rachel wrinkled her nose slightly at the smell of stale sweat. Focusing instead on her friend, Rachel took in the dented locker doors and inched hesitantly towards Finn.

'I can't believe they lied to me,' Finn practically shouted and Rachel cringed. Stopping a few paces from his knees, she lowered herself down onto the wooden bench. She wrapped her fingers around the underside before recoiling her them in disgust, remembering where she was.

'All this time they _knew_ what they'd done and they just didn't say anything. Puck's supposed to be my _best friend dammit_! He isn't supposed to screw around with the girl I love!' Finn sprung to his feet, clutching his temples as his face slowly started seeping with blood. Rachel tried to ignore the faint pang of hurt that came through when Finn spoke about Quinn.

'And Quinn,' this time his voice broke at her name and the raw emotion that flooded through his face made Rachel want to reach out and gather him into her arms. She didn't. Instead she grasped his hand with her own. Finn flickered his glassy eyes up down to her.

'I named it Drizzle Rach. I thought she was this person that could show everyone how much Quinn and I…' His voice came out thick and wet.

'I know Finn,' she whispered and he collapsed down next to her, twining his fingers together with hers and bringing them to press against his forehead.

'He did this to you too,' he said and Rachel squeezed his hand. She didn't think Finn wanted to hear about how she felt. Right now it seemed as if he just wanted to talk.

'I just want to hate them both so much,' he admitted with a catch in his throat and Rachel rested her cheek against his hair.

'So do I,' she murmured just loud enough for the both of them to hear. 'So do I.'

'I don't want to be the bigger man this time Rach. I don't think I can.'

'Well Finn, haven't you realized that sometimes being special sucks,' she said and this elicited a laugh from him, one that was pained and sad but hinted at levity nonetheless.

'How long have you known?' He asked her and she felt her body go still.

'A few days,' she answered.

'Why didn't you tell me?' Finn sounded angry again, though he kept her knuckles against his skin.

'Because Finn, it wasn't my place to say anything,' she told him.

'You were supposed to be my friend.'

'I still am,' Rachel insisted because he still was. 'But Noah is-'

'Was,' Finn corrected her.

'_Is _your best friend. And if anyone was going to tell you, wouldn't you have rather have heard it from him than someone else?' Rachel continued as if he hadn't interrupted her.

Finn didn't offer a reply, tightening his grip on her hand.

'I'm not sorry for punching him. I wanted to punch his face off,' he said instead and Rachel rolled her eyes because was there _anything _these boys solved without recourse to force?

'I'd appreciate it if you refrained from such actions in the future,' she chastised him.

'Could you…sing me something? It's just I have all this stuff in my head and I need to just ignore it,' Finn asked abruptly and she pressed her cheek deeper into his hair.

'Of course Finn,' Rachel answered softly, clearing her throat.

_**It's hard to listen to a hard hard heart**__**  
**__**Beating close to mine**__**  
**__**Pounding up against the stone and steel**__**  
**__**Walls that I won't climb**__**  
**__**Sometimes a hurt is so deep deep deep**__**  
**__**You think that you're gonna drown**__**  
**__**Sometimes all I can do is weep weep weep**__**  
**__**With all this rain falling down**___

_**Strange how hard it rains now**__**  
**__**Rows and rows of big dark clouds**__**  
**__**When I'm holding on underneath this shroud**__**  
**__**Rain **___

_**Its hard to know when to give up the fight**__**  
**__**Two things you want will just never be right**__**  
**__**Its never rained like it has to night before**__**  
**__**Now I don't wanna beg you baby**__**  
**__**For something maybe you could never give**__**  
**__**I'm not looking for the rest of your life**__**  
**__**I just want another chance to live**___

_**Strange how hard it rains now**__**  
**__**Rows and rows of big dark clouds**__**  
**__**When I'm holding on underneath this shroud**__**  
**__**Rain… **_


	53. Chapter 53

**Head on over to community(dot)livejournal(dot)com(slash)gleeawards(slash)tag(slash)glee and vote for your favourite Glee story/author (subtle hint, it might be me). Nominations close May 15****th****so spread the word!**

**Featured song is 'If you want me to' by Ginny Owens. I recommend listening to it as you read. You'll get the emotional impact then.**

**And I've got a futurefic WIP Puckleberry called 'You're Thickening the Air I Breathe' if you feel so inclined.**

**Shout out to fullonswayzed – your screenname pays homage to the best show over. Dean's face when he delivered that line was priceless.**

**And to Lu for stalking me (with non-creepy love).**

**Enjoy. I expect one hundred million reviews because I work so hard on this, and I like to know you guys dig it.**

The first person Puck saw when he walked out of the room was Jose.

'You okay man?' The other boy asked him casually, as if the two of them were friends or some shit like that. Puck merely grunted because he wasn't even going to bother pretending that everything was fine.

'Have you seen…' Puck trailed off, his eyes darting to the clock. It was halfway through first period so he knew his girlfriend (for now he thought bitterly) was probably already in class.

'Ria went to talk to the Big Friendly Giant,' Jose shrugged and Puck tried to pretend that that didn't hurt, the fact that Rachel had voluntarily gone and sought Finn out after he'd decked her own boyfriend.

'Yeah,' Puck muttered back, shrugging his shoulders. He figured he might as well go wash the blood off before the rest of McKinley saw his face, which he knew was already bruising.

'Look Puckerman, I'm not sayin' I'm down with the fact that you fucked your best friend's girl-'

'Do I look like I _care_ Navarro?' Puck seethed, feeling the anger leech through into his tone. Jose didn't look intimidated at all.

'I get why you kept your mouth shut. You wanted to know about your kid,' Jose continued as if Puck hadn't even spoken.

_What the hell?_

Jose was shifting his eyes around the empty hallway.

'There was this _chica_back at Spartan. Her name was Amber. We had a son, you know? So I get it.' A pause. 'But if you think this is some kind of-'

Puck held his hands up, as if to say he understood. Lowering them, he slanted his head to the side, shoving his fingers into the pockets of his letterman.

'Why'd you tell me?' Because guys like them didn't go around spilling their guts to complete strangers.

'Things are gonna be rough for a while _amigo_. Figured you might want to know Rach and I, we got your back,' Jose said and for a moment there was the kind of awkward silence that followed such revelations.

'I'll see you later,' Puck finally said, and Jose nodded his head. Puck slammed into the handicapped bathroom a few feet away, making sure to lock the door behind him. Peering into the mirror, he saw that his lip had actually split open. The side of his jaw was going to be pretty colorful tomorrow and Puck thanked fuckhis mother was working the graveyard shift tonight. Turning on the tap, he splashed some water onto his face. Some of the liquid swirled together with the dried blood and Puck watched the pattern transfixed.

_You are not your father._

'Fuck,' he whispered letting the water run and ripping a few paper towels to wipe his face off. He chucked the soggy towels in the direction of the bin, not even bothering to see if they made it inside. Right now he was more concerned with what was staring back at him, of what he could see in the mirror.

_You're nothing but a Lima Loser._

His father is standing over his shoulder and Puck blinked, shaking his head. But he opened his eyes and Elijah Puckerman was there with his white wifebeater and brown dress pants. The lines on his face pulled down his eyes and mouth into a look of permanent displeasure.

'Always said you were gonna end up a deadbeat, eh Noh?'

Before he knew what was happening, Puck had drawn back his fist and driven it into the mirror. The glass splintered and cracked but didn't shatter like he wanted it to. His knuckles are bleeding now and all Puck can think about isn't the pain, but how Rachel is going to kick his _ass_for doing what he just did.

'Screw this. I'm outta here,' Puck whispered, making sure there wasn't anyone lurking in the hallways before he headed towards his truck. He gripped the keys in his pockets, enjoying the pain that split through his hand as the sharp edges dug into the soft skin.

_Rachel's going to be worried._

Well fuck what Berry needed. Right now, all Puck could think about was that his entire life had just gone to hell. Running a hand down the strip of hair on his head, Puck wondered why it had been so easy for her to run to Finn when he had needed her. Sure he had told her to go, but didn't she know by now that that was just a front?

_Really Puck? Seriously?_

The image of Finn, his face this mask of absolute _fury_, was making his stomach even worse. It felt like someone had performed that Japanese suicide ritual Coach Sylvester was always threatening the Cheerios with during practice, that same twisting and pulling movement that he was sure you felt before your guts spilled out over the floor. Puck really didn't blame Hudson for wanting to make him bleed. Fuck, if someone had done the same thing to Rachel, Puck was pretty sure the other guy wouldn't even have been able to get himself off the floor.

Speaking of which, Quinn was probably never going to speak to him again. He could kiss all the effort he'd shown till now goodbye. If there was one thing he had learned about Quinn Fabray these past few months, it was that she could be just as selfish as him. Throw in that ice queen persona she'd perfected during her stint as head cheerleader, and Puck was pretty sure Quinn was going to go for his throat like Damon Salvatore the next time she saw him.

As Puck climbed into the truck and gunned the engine, there was one thing that rang startling clear through his mind.

_He really needed a drink._

A few hours later during lunch, Rachel glanced up anxiously from her tray, Jose and Mike seated on either side of her. The rest of the Gleeks were there as well, minus Santana and Brittany, who Rachel was sure was off with Quinn. Matt had gone to keep Finn company in the weight room and away from inquisitive eyes. Needless to say, the topic of conversation was the newest scandal to bedevil Glee, and while Rachel knew Kurt was practically chomping at the bit for her to spill every single, juicy detail, right now she was more concerned with the fact that no one had seen her boyfriend since Jose had left him outside the classroom this morning.

'Where is he?' she mumbled under her breath, feeling the worry form a stranglehold over her emotions. She could see Jose open his mouth to speak, but the sudden vibrating of her phone against the table cut him off. Seeing Noah's name flash across the screen, she pressed send and immediately said his name, knowing that the concern buried in her voice wasn't going to be entirely welcomed right now, judging by his earlier dismissal of her.

'Not quite,' a strange, deep voice rumbled through. 'This is Ricky over at McLaren's. I got your man here, and he ain't fit to be drivin' anywhere.'

'Excuse me?' Rachel thought she was shrieking, already pushing out of her chair and grabbing a fistful of Mike's shirt as she yanked him out of his own.

'Lady, bring some cash because he hasn't settled his tab.'

Pressing her lips together, Rachel asked him for the address. Ending the call, she all but dragged Mike towards the exit.

'Woah! Where's the fire?' Mike asked, his feet slipping slightly. Jose jogged up beside her and must have noticed the tense pinch of her features.

'Noah is currently inebriated at some place called McLaren's. The bartender was kind enough to ensure that he didn't do something additionally reckless, like drive himself home under the influence,' Rachel informed them both. 'Mike, we'll need your car since Jose was my mode of transportation this morning and also because Noah's mass body index _far_outweighs my own, I am requesting that both of you assist me in delivering him to my residence.'

Mike opened his mouth to argue but Jose glared at him and the other boy shrugged. 'Yeah okay. I know where it is.'

'Has Noah been to this establishment before?' Rachel fixed Mike with a piercing gaze that made the lanky teen want to back up a few steps. Instead, he offered her a nervous laugh and pressed upon their need for urgency. The three of them settled into Mike's Honda without a word, Rachel texting Kurt to inform him that they were currently running an errand.

Rachel barely noticed the awkward silence that permeated the air, staring out the window and absently placing a hand over her heart. She didn't understand why she was _this_upset over the fact that Puck had chosen to handle his feelings by resorting to alcohol instead of having an open, healthy discussion with her. His_girlfriend_ who had stood by him even after she'd learnt about what he had done. Rachel decided to transmute that distress into anger because whilst she thought she could understand the reasoning behind drinking your problems away, that didn't mean she was going to be attached to someone who had obviously committed identity theft to allow himself to be served alcohol. Not to mention the fact that this _Ricky_had committed a crime by serving alcoholic beverages to someone well under the legal drinking age! The ire built up inside of her and when she took in the faded sign hung up outside the bar, located in what the locals saw as the seedy part of Lima, Rachel practically flew out the door the minute Mike pulled up outside the curb.

McLaren's wasn't a dive. It was actually respectable, the red leather booths and shiny wooden tables catching her off guard. The figure sprawled out on the bar wearing the red letterman's jacket looked…

Rachel bit her lip, flicking her eyes up towards Ricky who was giving her an odd look.

'I'm Rachel Berry,' she said, and Ricky whistled.

'Boyfriend's passed out. You need help getting him to the car?'

'No thank you. My friends will be more than adequately be able to handle that task,' Rachel informed him, twisting on her heel to face Mike and Jose. 'Could you please escort Noah up to the car while I settle his tab?'

'Shit dude,' she heard Mike mumble and turned back to regard Ricky, who was regarding her with a sense of amusement. The grunts of Mike and Matt were audible in the sleepy bar, the few patrons that were scattered throughout watching as the two boys struggled with their deadweight friend.

'Fifty dollars.'

'_What_?' This time Rachel was sure she shrieked because Ricky winced.

'He ordered a good bottle of tequila.'

'I sincerely hope that you'll be willing to overlook Noah's monetary shortfall when I inform you that my Dad is a lawyer and will be more than willing to hear about how this fine place of business has taken to selling alcohol to seventeen year olds.'

Ricky looked taken aback.

'I'll also have you know that while I'm sure whatever identification provided to you by Noah was nonetheless _patently_fake, his red _high school_letterman's jacket should have been more than enough to alert you to-'

'Slow down sweetheart,' Ricky said and it was on the tip of her tongue to reprimand him when the older man chuckled. 'He was right. You _are_a piece of work.' Before Rachel could comment on what that meant, Ricky was shooing her towards the door. 'He's Elijah's son. Consider it a favor. No need to tell your Dad about anything.'

'Thank you for calling me,' Rachel offered before exiting the bar and sliding into the backseat of Mike's car, gently lifting Puck's head onto her lip.

_Oh Noah._

The sight of his face alone made something in her chest break.

'What happened to his hand?' Jose asked as Mike filtered back onto the road. It was then that Rachel noticed the broken skin along the knuckles of his right hand. She lifted it up to get a closer look but Puck stirred so Rachel gently laid it back down. All she could do was stroke the skin along his scalp, the pad of her thumb smoothing the spot just above his ear.

Puck started to groan when Jose and Mike shouldered him up the stairs towards her bedroom, Rachel grabbing an empty bucket, some Advil and a bottle of water before following them.

'You need us to stay?' Jose asked after both boys had none too gently deposited Puck onto her bed.

'I'll be fine,' she told them both. 'Thank you for helping.'

'We'll tell Mr. Schue you both weren't feeling well. Maybe say Puck has mono,' Mike joked weakly though Rachel could tell the sight of Puck this way wasn't something that Mike was used to seeing.

'And I'll grab your stuff and Puckerman's if he has any,' Jose added.

'Thank you,' she repeated, making sure to meet both pairs of eyes before they departed.

Turning back to Puck, Rachel turned him over so that he was towards the edge of the bed away from the window. She placed the bucket on the floor and the water and pills on the bedside table. It was when she was untying the laces of his shoes that she heard Puck say her name.

'Rachel?'

'I'm here Noah,' she whispered, trying to ignore the undeniable _sadness_that seemed to have settled over her boyfriend.

'Come here,' he patted the spot beside him and Rachel tugged off his shoes before settling down over the comforters. 'Closer,' he murmured and Rachel suddenly found herself pressed against Puck's hard muscle.

'Don't go.'

'I'm not going anywhere Noah,' she promised.

'Kay,' he breathed out, burying her nose into his hair. He smelt strongly of tequila and smoke, but Rachel found that she didn't care at the moment. 'Sing me something. I like hearing you sing.'

So she sang.

**The pathway is broken****  
And The signs are unclear****  
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here****  
But just because You love me the way that You do****  
I'm gonna walk through the valley****  
If you want me to******

Cause I'm not who I was**  
When I took my first step****  
And I'm clinging to the promise you're not through with me yet****  
So if all of these trials bring me closer to you****  
Then I will walk through the fire****  
If you want me to******

It may not be the way I would have chosen**  
When you lead me through a world that's not my home****  
But you never said it would be easy****  
You only said I'd never go alone******

ya oh oh no

So when the whole world turns against me**  
And I'm all by myself****  
And I can't hear you answer my cries for help****  
I'll remember the suffering your love put you through****  
And I will go through the valley if you want me to**

She sang and was grateful he couldn't hear the sobs choking her words.


	54. Chapter 54

The first thing Puck noticed when he woke up was the warm body sprawled next to him. Long brown hair brushed against his mouth and small fingers curled against the spot just above his heart. Rachel was breathing in deeply and evenly and Puck made sure his body remained still. Light filtered through the curtains and he winced when the dull yellow streetlight struck his eyes. It felt like a jackhammer was pounding against his skull and the inside of his mouth felt like someone had poured sawdust-laced tequila down his esophagus. Craning his head to the side, taking in the cream walls and giant star pasted onto one of the posts, Puck realized where he was.

_Shit._

Ricky must have called Rachel. He furrowed his brow, pushing aside the lance of pain, and tried to remember what had happened the day before. Because it was currently two fourty-five in the morning according to the blinking alarm clock on his right and Puck groaned. Rachel stirred beside him and Puck slammed his eyes closed, trying to forestall whatever conversation that was going to happen. Because there was absolutely no chance Rachel would just let slide the fact that he'd gotten himself plastered or fucked up his hand. The pretence was shattered, however, when she ran a hand down his jaw and Puck visibly winced.

'You're awake,' her voice was soft, echoing in the stillness of the air.

'Yeah,' Puck mumbled hoarsely. His stomach lurched so he kept his eyes closed. There was a rustle of sheets and then Rachel was pushing something into the palm of his hand along with a bottle of water.

'Drink that. I'll make you some toast to absorb the alcohol in your stomach,' Rachel said, keeping her voice even. Puck waited until he heard her climb down the steps before cracking open his eyes.

_Shit. It was worse than he thought._

Pulling himself upright, Puck forced himself to swallow the Advil and then leaned his head back against the headboard. The walls were pitching from side to side and his head was still screaming. Stumbling towards the ensuite, Puck squinted at himself in the mirror. Just like he expected, the bruise had stippled along the side of his jaw. His lip was slightly swollen and Puck was grateful it wasn't as bad as he had thought. Trying to eat with his lip splitting open wasn't his idea of a good time. His eyes were bloodshot. Glancing down, Puck winced when he caught sight of his hand. Rachel or someone must have picked out whatever glass had buried itself into his knuckles but the skin was scabbing over, still angry and red.

A pot banged against the stove downstairs and Puck grimaced. Catching a whiff of his shirt he pulled it over his head, splashing some water over his face to make him feel halfway human. As he made his way down the stairs, rubbing the side of his temple, Puck wondered why he felt as if he was walking into a battlefield.

Rachel barely looked up when he hung back at the entrance to the kitchen. There a few pieces of toast stacked up on a plate and there was a bowl of batter, something chocolate, at Rachel's elbow.

_Okay. The silent treatment._

Making sure his footsteps were heavy Puck slumped onto a barstool, grateful when he noticed that she'd dimmed the harsh lighting in the kitchen. She was humming under her breath and Puck didn't know whether to scream or just cradle his head. When Rachel made no move to acknowledge his presence, Puck laid his head into the crook of his elbow. Rachel's hips swayed from side to side as she flipped what looked like a pancake over the griddle and the smell of baked chocolate assaulted his nose. Bile rose against the back of his throat and Puck swallowed, sucking in a deep breath as he did so.

'Eat something,' Rachel told him sternly, still with her back to him. Puck narrowed his eyes because he wasn't expecting _this_. And maybe it sounds completely irrational but wasn't Rachel supposed to be beating her tiny, clenched fists against his chest, telling him how much of a loser he was?

(Because that was the image he'd had in his head as he'd polished off the tequila yesterday)

'Not until you turn around,' Puck said. He watched as Rachel's back stiffens, her pine going ramrod straight. He actually fucking held his breath as she twisted off the gas and placed the spatula to the side, before whirling around and facing him. But she still doesn't meet his eyes and Puck felt something like frustration crawl under his veins, spreading throughout his system like a virus and putting him immediately on the defensive.

'Well?' He pushed her when Rachel kept silent, tapping her foot against the tiled floor. The girl before him had seen him open and bleeding. No one was supposed to be privy to that, wasn't supposed to know about what he kept hidden behind those walls. And yeah, okay, Puck could admit that Rachel saw a side to him that Puck had never shown anyone outside of his family. Yet there were still things buried behind carefully constructed shields, things that were ugly and vicious and too painful for anyone but his reflection to see.

'What do you want me to say Noah?' She sighed out heavily, slowly unfolding her hands so that they hung limply down her sides. Rachel managed to glimpse at the hard, set expression on Puck's face and felt her heart fall a little. She only ever saw that look before Puck set out to deliberately hurt someone and Rachel thought she would never have to have that directed at her again.

_It's a defensive mechanism Rachel. How else could you explain the fact that you plaster a smile all over your face despite being ridiculed by your peers?_

'Honestly I was expecting a lot of fucking bullshit about me being stupid and reckless,' Puck's words brought Rachel back to the present. Meeting his jade eyes without flinching, Rachel allowed herself to lean back against the stove. The metal knobs pushed painfully into the small of her back.

'Since you already seem to know what I was going to say pertaining to your behaviour yesterday, I don't have to repeat myself,' Rachel told him serenely. A muscle in his jaw bunched and flexed.

'That's it?' He sounded incredulous. Rachel pressed her lips together.

_No that isn't it. I want you to talk to me, to tell me how you feel._

'You're hungover. I believe that whatever conservation we need to have doesn't have to take place right now-' Puck gave out a mirthless laugh at her words.

'Oh because _Finn _poured his heart out to you, I'm supposed to do the same. Is that it?'

'Noah,' Rachel warned, disliking the malice in his tone.

'God you just couldn't _wait _could you?' He spat out and Rachel can't do anything but stare. 'He fucking _assaults _me and you find nothing wrong with-'

'I strongly suggest that you desist with this line of thought Noah Puckerman,' Rachel hissed through her teeth, pointing a finger at him.

'You _went _to him!' Puck roared and Rachel flinched, because for some reason he seemed to be twice his size. She took a step back but dug her nails into her thighs before speaking again.

'You told me to go Noah. And like it or not, Finn is my friend. What was I supposed to do? He'd just found out his girlfriend is having another man's baby.'

When Puck didn't reply Rachel looked up through her lashes and saw what looked like hurt cloud over his features. 'Yeah, well, now he knows. So congratulations, you got yourself saddled to the biggest douchebag this side of the state line.'

'Don't say that,' Rachel snapped back and Puck rolled his eyes.

'I'm just saying what everyone in this goddamn town has said about me since the day I was fucking born. Oh look – there's Elijah's boy. Did you hear he fucked the Celibacy Queen and knocked her up? They always did say he had nothing good in him,' Puck mimicked what Rachel thought was a more masculine version of Betty White. Her forehead creased up and Rachel simply _looked _at Puck, taking in the set of his shoulders and the tired pain hidden behind his eyes.

Was this what he really thought of himself?

'Oh Noah,' she breathed and inched closer towards him. Puck immediately put a few inches of space between them and Rachel tried to pretend that that didn't hurt.

'_Don't_, okay? Just…_don't_. I don't want your pity,' he said and it was hard not to miss the bitterness coating his words.

'I don't pity you Noah,' she whispered and Puck turned his head away, looking out the archway that led to the living room. The grandfather clock that was in his line of sight ticked over, each second punctuated by the pendulum swinging back and forth.

'Whatever,' he finally mumbled and Rachel squared her shoulders.

Seeing Puck, hearing him ask her to sing to him, had made Rachel realize a few things. Puck had gone through life lingering in the shadow of Finn Hudson. And while his reputation as a (Rachel wrinkled her nose) _badass _and his notoriety amongst the cougars had distinguished him, people often looked at Puck with fear and Finn with a soft heart. It was hard not to really. Puck was brash, abrasive and uncouth. Finn, on the other hand, walked around like a puppy that you wanted to scratch behind the ears. They were two diametrically opposed opposites who had somehow managed to forge a friendship that had existed well before high school. But now that bond between them had taken a massive blow and whatever the two boys had hung by a shaky, tenuous thread. If there was anything Rachel had learned about Puck these past few weeks, it was that he took his friends seriously.

And it seemed that no matter how hard he tried to deny it, Puck had placed Finn on a pedestal right alongside with the rest of them.

'Noah,' she begun tentatively, resting a hand on his bare shoulder.

(And yes, it hadn't escaped her notice that her boyfriend had an incredible body)

When he didn't recoil away from her touch, Rachel slid her fingers up to tilt his chin towards her. The stubble decorating his jaw scratched pleasantly against her skin and she settled her other hand on the opposite cheek, holding his head firmly in place.

'While I admit that I'm slightly disappointed that you chose to imbibe an excessive amount of alcohol rather than engage in a healthy discussion about your feelings with me, on some level I can understand why you did it,' she stated firmly and rushed on before he could speak. 'When I didn't see after first period, and when I discovered that _no one _had seen you, I was _worried_. I didn't know where you were and that scared me.'

Rachel bit her lip because she knew if she spoke about this any further her voice was going to waver and give her away. Inaudibly swallowing, she pierced his eyes with her own. She noted that his gaze had darkened to a hunter green, the flecks of gold swallowed up.

'You're lashing out. I suppose if the situation had been reversed, I would have caused a scene as well. But I want you to know that you're not just some…some _miscreant_. You're a _good person _Noah Puckerman,' she said the words urgently, as if begging him to believe it too. 'It doesn't matter what everyone says. I've learnt that trying to change who you are for people who barely know you is nothing but a futile endeavour-'

His lips are pressed against hers and Rachel feels that same familiar heat stir inside, her eyelids sliding close of their own accord. It is sweet and chaste but Puck made sure that it lingered just long enough for her to understand what he wants her to know. The air kisses the tip of her nose when he leans back and Rachel languidly blinks, sweeping the side of her thumb over the curve of his cheekbone.

'Thanks.' It is a simple word for a lot of things Puck wished he could say out loud.

'Eat your food. It's probably already cold,' she chastised him gently and gave him a soft smile. Her fingers drum against his cheek before she allows them to fall away.

The tension in the kitchen is still there but Puck felt most of it deflate; like someone had let the air out of a balloon. He grabbed the piece of bread at the top of the pile and took a cautious bite. Making sure that he wasn't going to upchuck all over the floor, he polishes off the food.

Puck is halfway through his second slice when he made out the words Rachel was softly singing to herself as she spooned some batter onto the pan.

**I like the way you'd hold me****  
****Every night for so long, baby****  
****I like the way you'd sing to me****  
****Every time the things got rocky, yeah**

The bread hung limply from his fingers when he heard the rest of the song.

**But I'd rather you be mean****  
****Than love and lie****  
****I'd rather hear the truth****  
****Than have to say goodbye****  
****And I'd rather take a blow****  
****At least then I would know****  
****But baby don't you break my heart slow****  
****Now baby don't you break my heart****  
****Slow **

**a/n: song is "baby, don't you break my heart slow" by Vonda Shephard. **

**Please go and check out my Puckleberry AU futurefic **_**The Day That Saved Us. **_**I want a hundred reviews for that because someone donated money towards a good cause for that piece. So I think we should support that, don't you?**

**Oh and review this one too of course.**

**Until next time!**


	55. Chapter 55

Rachel didn't think that her week could get any worse.

So the moment she saw Jose hobble into Glee in crutches, a sheepish smile plastered all over his face, she thought this was some kind of sign.

'_Josiah_!' Rachel planted her hands on her hips, eyebrows shooting up into her hairline as Puck let his arm drop from around her shoulder. The tense atmosphere that had pervaded the small choir room fluctuated and dropped as everyone watched the petite brunette march up to her best friend.

'Look Ria, I _swear_ that-'

'First off, has your bone actually been broken?'

Jose blinked before shaking his head slowly. 'It's a hairline fracture but I can't do none of that singin' and dancin' sh-stuff for a couple of weeks.'

'Dude, I think you've actually succeeded in pushing Rachel over the deep end,' Mike whispered in Puck's ear and jerked his head back as Puck absently raised an elbow to catch him in the face. '_Puck man_. Never the face.'

'Shut up Chang,' Puck retorted weakly, though he did glance out of the corner of his eye to make sure the other boy hadn't taken offence. After Puck had stuffed himself full of toast and pancakes, he'd promptly collapsed on Rachel's bed to sleep the hangover away. His girlfriend had left him alone for the most part and Puck was thankful for that, though worry niggled the back of his head whenever he caught her staring at him. Mike and Matt had shown up later that day, looking supremely uncomfortable when Rachel had opened the door and waved them in.

The conversation that had followed, with Rachel excusing herself to her room, had been painful but in the end Mike and Matt at least seemed to be willing to give him a chance after hearing his side of the story. They hadn't given each other a hug or anything but the slight nod the three boys had shared told Puck that he at least could mend these friendships given time.

That still didn't mean that Finn's absence at school and in Glee hadn't made Puck any less remorseful. Or the fact that people weren't even bothering to be discrete when they spoke about what he'd done.

'I don't understand,' Rachel was shaking her head, gesticulating wildly. 'Was it the bike? I'm sure I'm repeating the same words your mother said-'

'It wasn't his bike,' Quinn's voice cut Rachel short and drew his girlfriend's attention to the blonde. Puck saw Quinn glimpse at him and felt his fingers dig into his jeans, recalling the words she'd shouted before Brittany had dragged her out of the room in tears.

_Are you happy now? Is this what you wanted?_

His eyes hovered over the bump, noticed the way Quinn's fingers were curled around it protectively.

_Wait? What the hell was Quinn doing with Jose?_

Puck furrowed his brow, leaning forward and clasping his hands between his knees. Rachel was flickering her eyes back and forth between the pair, Jose leaning against his crutches while Quinn shifted her eyes from Rachel and then to the back of the room.

'Am I missing something?' He heard Kurt whisper and wondered the same thing.

'Oh,' was all Rachel could come up with, unsure about how to act around the former Cheerio. This was the girl who had made her life hell, was still somehow managing to insinuate herself into the one good thing Rachel thought had come out of her life in Lima. Rachel resisted the urge to glance over her shoulder at Puck, wondering whether he was focusing on her rather than Quinn.

_Don't be ridiculous. Remember what you promised yourself. Noah needs you to be strong right now. You need yourself to be strong too. Getting hung up on Quinn Fabray isn't going to accomplish anything._

'Miguel left his skateboard out okay?' Jose finally admitted, voice low. Rachel took in the pink tinge of his cheeks and couldn't decide whether to sigh in exasperation or laugh. Her lips were twitching though and Rachel forced herself to be serious.

'This still means we're a man down for Sectionals,' Rachel couldn't help but exclaim.

'Your concern is touchin' _chica_,' Jose said sarcastically.

'Jose, you know that my alarm at your…injury is present,' Rachel assured her best friend, wrapping her hands around his elbow and helping him towards the nearest available seat next to Artie. 'However I'm sure you know me well enough to know that unless you require an organ donation or the grievance you've sustained is fatal, right now our priority is locating another member who will be able to help us secure Sectionals!'

She noticed the way Puck's muscles were tensed, that particular part of his jaw flexing as he averted his line of sight away from Quinn. The girl in question was doing the same, seating herself in the row behind Jose next to Brittany who gave Rachel a small smile.

'Look girl, there ain't no sense trippin' about it,' Mercedes said. 'Mr Schue will get someone and-'

'We need Finn back,' Santana cut in, tone cold as she glared at both Puck and Quinn. 'But since these two decided to reinterpret Usher's _Confessions_-'

Her words were the catalyst and Rachel watched in dismay as Puck's tentative grip on his emotions snapped, the mohawked teenager whipping around to sneer at the Latina.

'Shut the fuck up Lopez.'

'You know what asshole,' Santana rose to the bait, inching forward in her seat and staring unflinchingly back at Puck. 'Not only did you screw over your best friend when you un-hymenated the prude, but you also fucked her when we were still together. So not only did my supposed friend stab me in the back, you helped her along with it by turning up the next night asking for-'

'_Enough_!' Rachel shrieked, sucking in a breath.

Glee was supposed to be her haven, Rachel thought, taking in the range of expressions looking back at her. She'd thought that this little family they'd created, all of them so different yet somehow finding themselves together through music, would help her _heal_, help her through the fact that Quinn still had a hold over Puck whether he acknowledged it or not. Glee was the reason she'd pulled herself out of bed this morning, forced tears into her eyes when she'd told the school secretary that she'd had to escape the oppressive walls of this educational institution because of her delicate immune system. Glee was the reason why she had walked with her head held high, aware of what people were saying about her relationship with Puck, of how she was just a distraction until Quinn took him back into her arms.

Rachel spoke quietly, though it for all intents and purposes sounded as if she was yelling. 'I understand that there has been a,' she searched for the right word, '_disturbance _in the energy that we usually all find comforting, and that has made-'

'Is there a _point_ RuPaul?' Santana bit out. Rachel saw Puck about to open his mouth and clenched her fists because she was tired of everyone fighting, snarking, _hurting_ each other.

'My point _Lopez_,' Rachel was satisfied to see Santana recoil slightly at the hostility in her voice, 'is that we're supposed to be _friends_.'

Santana scoffed and Rachel ignored the penetrating look Puck was sending her way, the slant of his shoulders as if her words were revealing something to him she hadn't intended to.

'As your _Captain_,' she emphasized the title with relish. 'I _demand _that right now we focus our energies into finding a substitute for Sectionals. Finn isn't going to come back, at least not right now.' Puck and Quinn flinched. 'But the entire future of this club rests on us getting ahold of that trophy. I, for one, am _not _going to let whatever camaderie and hope we've managed to foster fall by the wayside. We're _professionals_ and I'm sure we can put whatever teenage angst we have aside to accomplish this, at the very least for Mr Schue.'

There was silence at her words before Kurt spoke up, giving her a smile. 'There's nothing ironic about show choir right?' Rachel returned the gesture, seeing the original Gleeks do the same. He climbed to his feet, Mercedes and Tina doing the same as Artie wheeled himself over to align himself next to Rachel.

'We're all in this together,' Mercedes whispered loud enough for the five of them to hear.

'High School Musical? Really?' Artie wrinkled his nose.

A chair creaked and Puck was standing in front of her, looking down with an inscrutable look on his face. He didn't say anything but Rachel reached out and took his head, lacing his fingers together with hers. Glancing over his body, Rachel flashed a loaded gaze over the small knot of Cheerios and jocks who had come late to the party (so to speak).

'Please be here promptly for practice tomorrow with suitable candidates to replace Jose,' Rachel announced. 'I'll see you then.' She made sure to sound imperious. Tugging on Puck's arm, she led her small quintet out of the choir room.

'That was very Freak Nation, Max Guevara,' Artie commented. 'It was kind of hot. Objectively speaking,' he clarified when Puck casually glanced his way.

'Puckerman, you up for some ice-cream?' Mercedes asked and Rachel felt Puck relax ever so slightly.

'Yeah, sounds good,' Puck replied and Rachel pressed her lips together, refraining from lecturing them about the disastrous effects diary could wreck on their vocal cords.

She felt Puck pull them back slightly, allowing the others to walk in front of them.

'Noah?' She questioned, for the first time letting herself look him in the eye. His gaze was shuttered however but his fingers played with the ends of her hair.

'Teenage angst huh?'

'Noah,' this time it was pleading because Rachel just wanted to…well she didn't know what exactly constituted normal in her situation but enjoying a sundae with her friends seemed like a nice start.

He pressed a kiss to her temple, hauling her up against his side.

Rachel didn't notice the way his fingers splayed against her small waist, but Puck was aware of the desperation colouring his movements.

And just as it had done since the day he'd told Rachel about the baby, he wished he wasn't.


	56. Chapter 56

He was halfway through a blizzard when it hit him. Puck had the spoon poised near to his lips, heard Rachel laugh at something Mercedes said, and had what he considered a fucking epiphany. It was subconscious, he decided, what his mind was telling him to do. His heart was kicking and screaming at him to reverse course though but whatever was between his ears was telling him _this _was the right thing to do.

'I don't understand,' Rachel murmured, brown eyes turned up to meet his. Puck could see the confusion swimming around behind their depths and he tightened his grip on the steering wheel before relinquishing his hold and running a hand through his mohawk.

'This entire situation is fucked up Rach,' he finally said, averting his gaze from her own. 'And I _want _you there by my side. But…this entire thing is gonna kill us both if we stay together right now-'

'You _told _me you wanted us together,' Rachel interrupted.

'Yeah I do. You _know _that. But I can't deal with Quinn and the baby, and _you _at the same time.'

'Me?' Rachel asked, affronted. Puck blew out a breath, staring at his knuckles which were white.

'Every time I look at you I see guilt,' he blurted out and stopped breathing, taking in the pregnant pause that was pervading the inside of his truck. He glanced to the side and saw Rachel biting her lip. She wasn't outright denying his words though so Puck knew that he was right. Sure Rachel had made a big show out of supporting him, but there was no missing the culpability reflected on her face. Puck was sure Rachel wasn't even aware she was doing it, but taking stock of the desperation colouring his actions, of always wondering whether Rachel was going to leave him because of what he'd done with Quinn…

'I keep thinking you're going to just leave my sorry ass once you come to your senses or something,' he mumbled softly but Rachel heard him nonetheless.

'Noah,' she started but Puck shook his head and the words died on her lips, lingering on the tip of her tongue.

'You said you needed space before right? So this is me giving you that.'

'When I issued that request, the _possibility _of you breaking up with me was never contemplated.'

'I'm _not _breaking up with you,' Puck thought he should state firmly. 'It's just…I think we should go on a break or something.'

'A break?' There was no denying the cynicism in Rachel's voice.

This entire situation was spiraling out of control. When Puck had envisioned how this conversation was going to pan out, the Rachel in his head had kissed him passionately before declaring what a noble and badass DILF he was. The girl sitting next to him right now, however, looked like she couldn't decide whether to yell at him or cry.

His chest constricted tightly and Puck cleared his throat, shifting in his seat so that he could finally face Rachel. Her eyes were limp and her lips were pressed tightly together, so much so that they were starting to look painful. Puck hesitantly reached out and placed his fingers along the side of her face, something inside relaxing when she didn't pull away.

'When I told you about the baby, I did it because I _wanted _to. And okay I can understand why you'd get pissy about the fact that I didn't tell you the truth before. But me and Quinn happened _way _before I even joined Glee and before there was even an us, you know? I don't know whether you get that or not but because you're a chick, I'm gonna go with the fact that you don't. Throw that together with the Fabray hate you have going on and you're gonna keep blaming me-'

'I _don't _blame you for sleeping with Quinn,' Rachel said but Puck gave her a smile, one that was much too old for his age.

'Shit babe, even _I _can tell you don't believe that.'

'Well what do you want me to _do _Noah? I can't help how I feel!' Rachel whispered harshly and Puck circled his thumb over her cheek before letting his touch fall away, wiping the same hand down his face.

'Look I'm just saying that we both need some kind of…_something_,' Puck stumbled over his words, trying to figure out the best way to articulate what he was feeling inside. 'Time or whatever the fuck else to figure out that we can be together without you becoming some kind of emotional crutch for me. And for you to actually walk around like you don't have a boyfriend with a kid on the way.'

It was probably the hardest thing he had ever had to say to her.

(Okay, the baby thing still won hands down. But this came in a close second)

'I don't understand where this is coming from,' Rachel said and there was confusion and anxiety mixed together in her tone. Puck drummed his fingers against the leather encasing the steering wheel, scraping his teeth against his tongue before answering her.

'Someone said how I'd finally pushed you over the deep end and then Santana started ripping my head off and the _you _started your whole speech. And it made me realize that you're right. Glee isn't just about winning shit-'

'Noah, Sectionals is _crucial _to our identity as a club.'

'-but we're all pretty much like those dudes on _Lost_. We got on this plane together and then right now we're all crashed on this island trying to figure out how the fuck to deal with each other and how to make everything right again.'

'I don't understand the pop culture reference you just made.'

'I need to figure this thing out with Quinn by myself Rachel,' Puck said and Rachel flinched imperceptibly. 'I need to show her, to show _myself_, that I'm badass enough to do this on my own without relying on you like some kind of emotional wheelchair or something.'

'It's crutch. Emotional crutch,' Rachel corrected him and Puck saw her bottom lip begin to tremble. He doesn't reply, instead focusing hard on the roses her fathers have planted below the porch.

Rachel studied the tense set of Puck's jaw, the rigid way he was holding his body together. He looked like a tightly coiled piece of wire, barely staying in shape, just waiting for the right moment to snap loose and unravel. Was that really how she was treating him? Like she was blaming him for everything?

Reflecting back on her behaviour, Rachel realized that her actions might possibly be construed that way. She was nothing if not self-aware and her tendency to get caught up in her own bubble was often a sore point with those around her. She had been so focused on attempting to make _herself _okay with the entire situation that Rachel hadn't really thought about how she was affecting Puck. Speaking with Finn, forcing him to tell Finn about the baby, further enraging Quinn…all this time she hadn't even _once _stopped to consider what Puck was going through. She remembered the words he had said to her yesterday.

_They always did say he had nothing good in him, _he'd said. And Puck had said it with such _conviction _too, as if he actually believed what he was saying.

_God, how could she have been so selfish?_

'Is this what you want Noah?' She asked and told herself that whatever he decided she would agree to. But this wasn't going to be about _her _anymore, she told herself firmly.

'It's what I need,' he retorted and his words hung between them, heavy and yet _light _at the same time, as if a weight had been eased slightly off their shoulders.

'What exactly does being on a break constitute?' Rachel queried, relaxing her shoulders to show him that she understood what he was trying to say without words. 'Because the only reference I have currently is Ross and Rachel. And she later discovered that he had slept with the pizza girl.'

She watches as he actually lets out a genuine grin this time, letting out a warm chuckle.

'Trust me babe, that shit won't happen. I'd probably need to sleep with my eyes open on something, that's how crazy you are,' he says, lessening the sting of his words with a half-smile. 'And also because I've kinda grown attached to you, you know?'

'You make me sound like I'm some kind of teacup poodle,' Rachel murmured under her breath.

'Trust me, your rack is way too fantastic for me to think that,' he fired back immediately. 'And I don't know what being on a break is. I guess…maybe we just rewind and take things back when we were doing our own shit and getting to know each other.'

'If you're implying that we become friends with benefits Puckerman, I'm going to have to hurt you,' Rachel told him, voice flat.

'Fuck no. We'll chill and hang out. And if there just so happens to be making out…' Puck trailed off, lifting a shoulder nonchalantly.

Rachel thought she understood. Puck needed to be focused on Quinn and the baby, mending his relationship with Finn. And that was not even factoring in what would happen in the Puckerman household once Abigail found out the truth.

_This is a good thing Rachel Berry. You can deal with your issues in your own time. You'll both come out stronger for this._

'Alright Noah. We'll be spontaneous and go with the flow?' She questioned, lifting her lips into a smile. Puck nodded his head before expelling what sounded like a relieved breath. Tilting her head to the side, Rachel pondered whether to kiss him or not before giving in to the urge. His lips parted instinctively beneath her own and she allowed herself to get lost in the moment, reveling in the feel and taste of him.

She pulled back and saw him lick his lips, resisted the urge to do the same.

'What was that for?' He asked and Rachel folded her arms around him in a hug, pressing her body against his and attempting to convey whatever positive vibes she could through the action. She felt Puck's hands smooth down her spine and hoped that he had caught her message.

'I'm not angry at you for sleeping with Quinn. You're right when you said I had no reason to. It happened before we were able to see past the facades we had erected around ourselves due to the social strictures inflicted upon us by the McKinley hierarchy. I was…am,' she sucked in a breath, 'perhaps still wading through my-'

'Teenage angst?' Puck offered, repeating her words from earlier that day. She slumped further into him, laying her head against his chest and listening to the rhythmic thump of his heart.

'I was being rather facetious when I used that turn of phrase, wasn't I?' She admitted softly.

'If you meant understatement of the century, then totally,' Puck spoke and his chest vibrated underneath her cheek.

'I didn't mean to downplay your situation,' Rachel said, leaning back and putting some space between them. 'Or for making you feel so wretched.'

'S'okay. I know you didn't mean it,' Puck shrugged his shoulders.

'No Noah, it's not okay. I'd rather you be honest with me about your feelings rather than brush them off like they don't matter,' she told him somewhat pointedly.

'Yeah well, right back atcha,' he shot back and Rachel winced inside, knowing that she had been somewhat hesitant to share her feelings about Quinn.

'Well, let's take this opportunity to grow and learn then, shall we?'

'We're cool right?' Puck abruptly asked and Rachel caught the uncertain look in his green eyes. She pressed a kiss to the underside of his jaw.

'We'll be fine Noah.'

And this time when she said the words, Rachel knew she meant them.

**a/n: dude, this was SUCH a pain to write. Concrit welcomed. If you appreciate some Max/Alec, I've written a Dark Angel ficlet that you should check out called "Incitation".**

**and a HUGE amount of love for aclassicistkitten for reviewing every single chapter! you're legend (wait for it) dary. and the outtakes are listed under my profile as "North: The Outtakes". If you want to know what the other characters of this little saga think, that'd be a good place to go.**


	57. Chapter 57

Rachel had known Jose's hairline fracture was a sign. She hadn't expected it to be karma. Because _really_, what else could explain the recent series of events that had turned her life upside down?

On stage the School for the Deaf was belting out _Don't Stop Believin' _with abandon and while a part of Rachel was glad that they were expressing themselves through song, she didn't enjoy the fact that they were doing so using songs garnered _straight from their set list_. Mr Schuester was gaping noiselessly at the stage and Rachel noticed the dumbfounded looks on Puck and Jose's faces turn into irritation and frustration.

'What the fuck is _this_?' Puck leaned over and hissed into her ear. Rachel resisted the urge to shiver when his breath caressed the shell of her ear, instead clenching her fists. Puck and her had been engaged in some kind of awkward dance these past two weeks, both of them unsure of what exactly being on a break meant. Rachel thought that holding hands was acceptable since Puck hadn't objected to her twining his fingers together with hers. But there had been no kisses, no _real kisses_, except for chaste ones on the cheek. Rachel knew Brittany was simply itching to question the sudden glacial chill on what she thought was the volcanic unresolved sexual tension between her and Puck. The blonde Cheerio had held her tongue though, instead organizing a small Glee gathering on the night of the Spring Formal after Rachel had admitted that she wasn't planning on attending.

(She wasn't going to ask Puck to accompany her because she already knew that he didn't want to go. And considering the circumstances, Rachel couldn't find fault with that)

So Rachel had spent a night she thought was going to be filled with cheap streamers and that gorgeous green dress Brittany had forced her to buy "just in case"' curled up against Puck's side, enjoying the slide of his fingers through her hair as they watched Matt and Mike battle as Mercedes and Kurt belted out Celine Dion's greatest hits in French. Finn had been invited but hadn't shown up. Quinn had been there though, and while the tension between the pregnant teen and Puck had been palpable, Rachel was glad that Jose had been able to take some of the edge off by engaging Quinn in conversation. While Rachel still had her misgivings about that budding friendship – something she was _sure _to question her best friend about after Sectionals – she was nonetheless glad that Jose was letting Amber's specter loosen her hold over him. Quinn wasn't an Irish girl with flaming red hair, but she was in the same situation Amber had been. And if Jose was willing to give Quinn a chance, Rachel thought it might help her do the same.

'Are those _wheelchairs_?' She heard Mercedes utter and Rachel shook her head, mouth settling into a thin line when the opening strains of _Proud Mary _filled the hall. Springing abruptly to her feet, Rachel didn't bother keeping her voice down when she spoke.

'Meeting in the green room. _Now_,' she announced and stormed off towards the back, knowing that the rest would follow. She reflected that she should have probably consulted with Mr Schue but their director had been woefully inadequate thus far in rallying the troops. Rachel winced, recalling the complete and utter disaster Glee had been since Babygate had broke. Mr Schue had of course been shocked, and she knew neither Quinn or Puck had missed the slightly accusing glances sent their way during practice, but Rachel had expected him to be _strong_, to be their _leader_. Instead the Spanish teacher had recruited Jacob Ben-Israel, who had used rehearsals to try and get closer to Rachel rather than focus on the choreography and lyrics. This of course had set her even more on edge, which had in turn had made Puck even more surly than usual. Her boyfriend (Rachel wasn't too sure what their labels were but she supposed they were still exclusive. Right?) had sent menacing looks Jacob's way, though he had thus far refrained from exerting some kind of physical warning in her name.

Rachel slammed into the green room, crossing her arms and practically vibrating in the spot. How had this happened? How had these two schools managed to get a hold of their set list? And how was it that the Sectionals committee, not to mention the Ohio Show Choir Association, could _not _have noticed the fact that the three schools competing in this competition had submitted the _exact same set list_?

The rest of the Glee club filtered in slowly and Rachel saw the despondent looks etched onto Artie's face and this made her furious. They didn't have _time _to be depressed and to feel sorry for themselves! It also didn't escape her attention that the jocks and Cheerios had subconsciously aligned themselves to one side of the room, while the rest of the Gleeks and Jose ringed the other.

'You leaked the set list to Coach Sylvester didn't you?' Kurt said, tone accusing and eyes fixed directly onto Santana. The Latina glared right back, shoulders hunched forward defensively as she sneered at the flamboyant teen.

'Now isn't the time to be flinging accusations Kurt,' Rachel stated tersely, flicking her gaze briefly towards Kurt before settling it on Santana. Since her outburst in the choir room Rachel had noticed a subtle shift in the Cheerio's attitude towards rehearsals. While before she had simply mimed the words and only sung out loud when needed, Rachel had noticed that Santana had been holding her voice back. She had been startled to hear the husky undertone colouring the other girl's voice, not to mention the potential that lay behind developing her tool into something exponentially better.

'There isn't any other reason the two of them would join Glee otherwise,' Kurt continued, obviously ignoring her warning. Brittany's face fell and Mike frowned. 'You don't want to be here. You're just Sue Sylvester's little moles.'

'Look we may still be Cheerios but neither of us gave Coach the set list,' Santana spoke before Rachel could. The feisty girl sauntered up to Kurt, leaning into his personal space before sweeping her eyes over the room. 'Look I joined Glee because I actually like it okay? And if you tell anyone this I'll deny it. But what Berry said about us sticking together and crap kind of makes my day.'

There was a hesitation in Santana's voice, a note of reluctance of even having to say this out loud. Brittany curled a hand around Santana's shoulder, giving it a slight squeeze.

'If Santana was trying to sabotage us, she'd make sure we knew she was the one doing it,' Quinn affirmed and the smile she gave took the accusation out of her words. Rachel felt Puck's warmth along the spine of her back, resisted the urge to lean back onto the hard planes of his chest.

'I feel I should mention that I experience performance anxiety,' Jacob offered and Rachel fixed the boy with a quelling glare.

'I gave Sue the set list,' Mr Schue's voice made them all spin around.

'Say what?' Mercedes demanded, getting to her feet and planting a fist onto her hip.

'I had to. She was co-director,' Mr Schue told them, sounding resigned. Rachel wanted to sigh, shake her head. But she knew neither of those would be helpful in either case.

'Well who did what doesn't matter right now. We have to perform in an hour. So let's just start from the basics,' Rachel announced, flinging her arms forward to engulf the group.

'We need a ballad,' Matt said. Mike turned toward his friend, raising an eyebrow. 'What? I read that pamphlet Rachel made us about the rules and stuff.' Mike and Puck sniggered under their breath.

'That is _exemplary _Matthew. Show choir isn't something to be taken lightly,' Rachel stated imperiously, giving Mike a disapproving look that had the Asian boy looking down at the ground. 'Mercedes, your performance of _And I Am Telling You _was a watershed moment for this club. However it seems that is no longer possible. Is there anything else left in your repertoire we can utilize? Perhaps some Whitney? I believe the seminal piece from her mildly entertaining movie _The Bodyguard_-'

'_Rachel_,' Mercedes breathed out and Rachel felt her jaw click shut. 'If anyone's going to belt it out on the fly, it's going to be you.'

'As much as it pains me to admit it,' Kurt chimed in, admiring his nails. 'You're our star.'

'You're kind of like our WMD,' Brittany agreed, nodding her head. Rachel wrinkled her nose at the analogy but nonetheless accepted the compliment with a gracious nod.

'I do have something I have been working on since I was four,' Rachel said, garnering a laugh from Mercedes.

'What a fucking shock,' Puck muttered under his breath but felt himself smile at the sheepish look over Rachel's face. Quinn stood behind the couch a few feet away from him and Puck fidgeted, not knowing whether the blonde was going to bite his head off for being in such close proximity to her. Since the big reveal, Quinn hadn't spoken a word to him. It wasn't like Puck had bothered attempting to start a conversation with her. When he had mentioned this to Rachel casually, his girlfriend (because break or not, no way was he letting some other douche put his hands anywhere near his girl) had told him simply to let Quinn work through this on her own. So he had gone with Rachel's advice because Quinn was a girl too, so that made Rachel _infinitely _more knowledgeable than him.

'We can close with _Somebody To Love_,' Quinn put out. 'We've pretty much drilled that into our heads these past few weeks what with the commercial and all.'

'Still means we need one more number you guys can all sing,' Jose reminded them.

'Yeah, and we have dead weight to haul around too,' Puck shot Jacob a meaningful look.

Rachel turned towards Mr Schue, whose curls were looking rather limp in Puck's opinion, and clasped her hands together as if she was asking for advice. Puck tamped down the urge to snort. If Glee had taught him anything, it was that for all his lame assignments and bonding rituals, Mr Schue was really nothing more than a figurehead for Berry's reign.

'Mr Schuester, do you have-'

'Hey,' the rough, choked greeting made Puck's head squeeze and his fingers dig into the palm of his hand.

'Finn?' Mr Schue said, half in wonder. Puck couldn't blame him. Finn had managed to stay away from almost everyone, except he noted with a mild hint of irritation, Rachel. Puck hadn't been stupid enough to bring up the Finn side of his emotional baggage, especially considering that Rachel had been trying to talk to Quinn about what she was going to do next. The delicate blonde hadn't offered anything new in that department but Puck was sure, given time, that the sheer amount of crazy Rachel carried would wear down those walls of Jericho.

'Yeah. I got your message,' Finn murmured at Mr Schue, who got this wistful, almost proud expression on his face.

'Good,' was all the New Directions head said in response and Puck was left wondering what exactly Schuester had managed to pull out of his ass to convince Finn to be within breathing distance of the two people he hated the most. The silence in the room seemed to be getting to Finn because Puck saw the way his fingers scratched the back of his neck, the same way he had been doing for years whenever something made him uncomfortable. Puck swallowed, focusing instead on the white cast wrapped around Jose's leg. Rachel had practically insisted that Jose come along, telling Mr Schue that he was a vital part of their group and shouldn't feel slighted simply because of a minor inconvenience, which had resulted in a lengthy tangent between Jose and Rachel about how _inconvenient _a hairline fracture to the tibia was.

'So those guys jacked our list huh?' Finn questioned and this seemed to snap everyone out of their daze.

'We need one more number. I'm doing a solo and we're closing with _Somebody To Love_,' Rachel answered.

'We could do our mash ups,' Finn said and Puck thought there were times that Finn wasn't as dumb as he looked.

'Yeah but we need to do both the guys and the girls. Our one alone is way too short,' Mike told them. Mr Schue clapped his hands before rubbing them together.

'It'll be something fresh we can bring to the table,' Schue nodded. 'I'll go coordinate with the production staff. You guys work on polishing up the routines until we have to go on.'

'Of course Mr Schue,' Rachel replied in that tone of voice that suggested that they were going to do _nothing _but haul their asses over the line until the curtain went up. The teacher beamed at them, opened his mouth as if to say something before closing it again. Giving them all one last look over his shoulder Mr Schue closed the door behind him, leaving just New Directions in an awkward silence.

'I'm glad you decided to come back Finn,' Rachel's tentative words were met with a lukewarm smile. Puck inched closer towards his girlfriend, not missing the shuttered look that came over Finn when he spotted the left tackle.

'Back when we first started, you told us that the one thing we had going was that we believed in ourselves. When I first joined Glee and we sang that song, the one that made Mr Schue not want to be an accountant, I realized that I couldn't leave you guys hanging no matter how pissed I am,' Finn fumbled. 'I'm not going to let you guys down too.'

_Well fuck._

'Is it alright if I take my spot back?' Finn actually asked Jacob.

'Of course. The only reason I agreed was so I could get into Rachel's pants,' the idiot actually had the gall to say. Puck felt his muscles coil and heard himself let out a low growl. Mike and Matt were giving Jacob disgusted looks while Brittany actually looked like she was going to blow a gasket.

'I can spit with deadly accuracy.' Puck had no idea how the Dutch girl managed to make that sound like a threat, but Jacob actually swallowed audibly.

'Jacob, please leave,' Rachel's tone brooked no argument and she wrapped an arm around Puck's bicep, tapping her foot impatiently as Jacob gathered his things and practically bolted out the door.

'I'm going to kill him,' Puck breathed. He _wanted _to hit something and Jacob presented a willing canvas for him to practice the dark arts.

'Noah,' Rachel chastened and Puck looked down, about to tell her something about defending her honour. But the hopeful glint in her eye caught him off-balance.

'What?' He asked warily.

'He's _here _you idiot,' she whispered, discretely edging her shoulder in Finn's direction.

_Probably wants to show you how much of a Saint he is._

But Puck understood what she was trying to say.

'Yeah he did,' he replied, squeezing Rachel's fingers lightly between his own. Puck saw that Finn had his back towards Quinn, that his baby mama was gripping the back of the couch like it was a lifeline. As if feeling his gaze on her, Quinn looked up. But this time, instead of sliding her gaze away she kept her eyes trained on his.

Maybe this was a turning point or something, Puck didn't know. Maybe this time Lady Luck had finally decided to cut him a break.

Whatever it was, Puck was just grateful that he was in the same room as Finn Hudson.

And like Lopez had said, if you told anyone he said that he'd simply deny it.

**a/n:**

**I just had to get Sectionals out of the way. The back 9 has given me so much to work with. I'm just rubbing my hands with GLEE to get into it.**

**Please go read my Dark Angel pieces '****Incitation****' and '****Medium****'. Jensen Ackles has inspired me. Oh and I ship Max/Alec. Sorry Logan. You were just too whiny. Plus, I issue you this ultimatum – if you review those, North gets updated uber quick =)**

**Follow me on http:/alien09(dot)tumblr(dot)com/! I'm going overseas in a few weeks so this will be posted with teasers and other ****North/Poltergeist/Puck This!/Thickening the Air**** I Breathe goodies. Also, if I have the time, my take on the World Cup. WHICH STARTS FRIDAY! What? I like my football.**

**SPOILER ALERT! DON'T READ IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE FINALE! (I live in Australia too to those readers who often remark I spoil them unintentionally!)**

**Okay, how random were all the "I love you's" in this episode? I mean, Finn and then Mr Schue? And **_**this **_**after he slept with Santana and the other made out with Berry 1.0? It's insulting. And Puck's expression during the birth? Priceless dude. As is any time Mark Salling is pictured with a guitar. I swoon. I'm crossing my fingers for Puckleberry next season. I'm hoping, and wishing, and praying. And I know Jesse went all evil and everyone hates him – but I wish they had made his character a bit more consistent because I love me some Groff.**

**If you've made it this far, you deserve a one-shot.**


	58. Chapter 58

They had won Sectionals. Rachel had come out and _killed _with _Don't Rain On My Parade_. They had managed to put together their mash ups in time. _Somebody To Love _had been a crowd pleaser. Puck had to admit that hauling back the trophy, which Rachel had kept a firm grip on despite the fact that it towered over her midget frame, was worth it. Maybe it was a symbol or something of how their little group had managed to overcome the odds. A representation of all the blood, sweat and tears that they had put in.

_It was a trophy to show that he wasn't a Lima Loser._

Still it didn't disguise the fact that Finn still wasn't talking to him. They were in the locker room before their game against Carmel High. Football season was over and as Puck pulled the basketball jersey over his head, he glanced at Finn out of the corner of his eye. Rachel had said it was a good sign that Finn had showed up at Sectionals. Something about it showed he was on the path to perhaps achieving some sort of reconciliation with the entire Quinn situation. Puck smirked thinking of his baby mama. If there was another good thing to come out of Sectionals, it was that Quinn was _finally _able to exchange more a few words with him without looking like she wanted to rip his balls out.

She had found him in the dressing room while the others had swarmed towards the judging room, Rachel mustering the troops as she told them that they were within their rights to bring the gross injustice inflicted against them to the fore. Quinn had latched onto his shirtsleeve and with an encouraging smile from Rachel, Puck had lingered back awkwardly. Jose had hobbled by them and Puck didn't miss the brief look he passed over Quinn's frame before he had left them alone. He also didn't miss the way Finn had seemed hesitant to leave the two of them behind together.

**When Puck didn't say anything to break the tension hovering above them, Quinn rolled her eyes and gestured towards the couch.**

'**Your spawn keeps pressing on my bladder,' Quinn commented and Puck felt the breath catch in his throat, his eyes suddenly staring intently at the small bump just barely visible beneath the folds of the black satin dress all the girls were wearing.**

'**Yeah,' was all he could manage, making sure that there was a healthy distance between them. Puck was afraid that the closer he was to Quinn, the more tempted he would be to just reach out and touch her stomach.**

'**So here we are,' Quinn remarked and Puck pulled his gaze to look at her. That same fragility that she had kept a close lid on was now present and Puck shifted in his seat, wondering how the hell he managed to get himself into these situations.**

'**Rachel seems to be taking things rather well,' she continued, as if pressing him to say something. At her words Puck forced out a cynical chuckle.**

'**Yeah. Berry's fucking thrilled.'**

'**At least you aren't alone,' Quinn fired back and it wasn't hard to hear the anger and hurt prevalent in her tone. Puck raised an eyebrow, rubbing the back of his neck.**

'**Look I might not be St Finneus but like I've said more times than I can fucking count, I'm not going to ditch you and the kid,' Puck began heatedly. 'And what did you **_**think **_**was going to happen Q? Yeah I was the bastard who knocked you up, but you were the bitch that lied to him.' His words were harsh but Puck didn't really care anymore. The leverage that Quinn had held over him was gone now, and Puck wasn't going to take her shit lying down anymore. **

'**You're right,' Quinn admitted hollowly, and Puck resisted the urge to blink and clean his ears out.**

'**I am?'**

'**God, big parts of me want to hate you for ruining my life. I've lost whatever semblance of a life I had before. Finn probably wishes I was moving to Antarctica or something. But…' Quinn trailed off, her fingers gently curving around her belly. 'But you're right. We should have told him from the start. I'm just as much to blame for this as you are. And I know I've said this before but if you want to help, I'd like that.'**

**Puck heard a delicate sniffle. 'Fuck Q, you don't have to start the waterworks to convince me. I believe you alright?'**

'**Screw you Puckerman. I'm pregnant and hormonal.'**

'**So you'll let me help? You won't pull some Dr Jerkyl and Mr Hyde shit this time?' Puck asked her warily.**

'**No,' Quinn stated firmly and there was something in the lines of her face that convinced Puck she was serious this time. 'I'm sorry for keeping you away from your daughter Puck. I was a bitch. And I hope you can forgive me…'**

'**Can I…' He murmured, extending his hand out. Quinn nodded and he spread his fingers across her stomach. Something nudged against his palm.**

'**Shit, was that Drizzle?' He breathed out, transfixed.**

'**She's been using my womb as a soccer ball,' Quinn commented wryly. There was a beat, a moment where the two of them simply let themselves get lost in the moment.**

'**We have to give her up, you know?' Quinn's words were soft but they made Puck's muscles stiffen.**

'**Can we not talk about this right now?' Puck bit out. The footsteps outside their door made him retract his hand, raise from his spot on the couch.**

'**Thanks Q,' he told her before the rest flooded in.**

'Yo Puckerman, get your ass in gear!' Mike hollered and Puck shook his head, slamming the door to his locker close. He jogged after the rest of the team, slowing down as they lined up in a row at the threshold of the door that led to the gymnasium. He felt more than saw Finn behind him and Puck pretended to warm up, doing ankle rolls and stretching his muscles methodically. He could hear the Cheerios scuffing their sneakers against the waxed floor, briefly allowing himself to wonder what Rachel would look like in those short, red skirts. Matt nudged his shoulder and Puck angled his head from side to side, breathing out nice and slow.

They were almost on the court when he felt Finn's hand on his shoulder. Briefly halting in his steps, Puck looked over at his (former) best friend with his body braced. Finn had been avoiding him as best he could after Sectionals and Puck really couldn't blame him. It didn't mean that a small, traitorous part of him hoped that Finn would just suck it up already because Puck needed some kind of bromance to make sure he made it through this pregnancy in one piece. Mike and Matt were cool and all, but they didn't know Puck the way Finn did.

'Let's go kick some ass,' Finn said with a neutral expression and Puck nodded his head, watched as the tall teenager headed towards the bench. The Carmel High students, in their blue and brown jerseys, were already congregated in a little knot. Puck quickened his pace, eyes leisurely scanning the people crowded onto the risers.

Rachel waved enthusiastically at him, her blue "Team Puck!" shirt with a little star at the tip of the exclamation mark making him want to roll his eyes and smile. Kurt and Mercedes did actually indulge and shifted their eyes heavenward. Quinn was raising an eyebrow, Jose next to her at the end of the bleachers to accommodate his cast.

Puck gave Rachel a cocky grin before running out onto the court, taking his place as power forward opposite Finn.

He was raising an eyebrow at Finn, who was dribbling the ball like a zombie, halfway through the third quarter when he saw it. Rachel was on her feet, her hands clasped together, but her eyes weren't following him any longer. Tracing her line of sight, Puck frowned when he saw that Berry had her eyes on what apparently looked like Mr Schue's long lost son. Her lips were pulled down into a slight frown and Kurt was whispering furiously to her, making sharp gestures towards the mini-Schue.

'_Dude_,' he heard Matt bark out and caught the ball before it slammed into his face. His back to the basket Puck twisted around and started dribbling, passing the ball to Finn who made short work of slotting it into the basket. The McKinley crowd erupted into cheers and Puck scowled when he saw that his assist had barely even registered with Rachel. She was _still _looking at the guy with the hair.

_What the fuck? Is that clone looking back at her?_


	59. Chapter 59

Like every normal teenage girl, Rachel had been perfectly content to cheer on Puck as he dribbled his way around the Carmel High basketball team. She had even donned the specially made shirt she had taken great pains to prepare when Puck had mentioned in passing that he thought it would be "sweet" if she turned up to one of his games. Really there was only one thing, and _one thing _only, that would have made her turn away from Puck's lovely arms.

'Sweet GaGa. Is that who I _think _it is?' Kurt hissed into her ear. Rachel immediately followed his line of sight and felt the euphoria that the game had inspired within her wilt slightly. There, seated ever so casually behind the Carmel bench, was the male lead of Vocal Adrenaline. Rachel felt her brow pull together in a frown, faintly hearing a buzzer go off in the background.

'Not only are his vocals impeccable, but that tailored vest is to _die _for,' she heard Kurt say. Rachel thinned her eyes, sweeping the area around the current object of her attentions. The female lead was perched beside him, looking thoroughly bored. Rachel was sure that there were a few other Vocal Adrenaline members scattered around the Away section as well. She abruptly folded her legs, grabbing Kurt's arm.

'When was the last time _any _member of Vocal Adrenaline attended a sporting event?' Rachel whispered harshly. Kurt, who had been trying to pry her fingers loose, appeared to contemplate her question.

'Evil is afoot,' Kurt murmured. Rachel darted her eyes to each side before leaning in closer towards the effeminate boy.

'Plan?'

'Reconnaissance,' Kurt answered. 'I'm feeling a bit parched. Are you?'

'I do feel a bit dehydrated,' Rachel told him, raising her voice a bit. 'Would anyone like a refreshment? Kurt and I-'

'I need a Snickers bar,' Quinn replied and looked sheepishly up at Rachel, who gave her a friendly smile in return. While Rachel was grateful that Quinn had let Puck back into his daughter's life, there was always going to be a part of her that would forever be insecure around the beautiful blonde. But now wasn't the time, Rachel told herself, shaking her head slightly as she leaned over to catch Jose's attention.

'Jose?'

'I'm good. Game's almost over so just hang back. Fay isn't going to bite her arm off without chocolate,' he said absently, eyes fixed on the court. Rachel allowed herself a brief glance towards Puck, who met her gaze. He looked slightly confused and Rachel flashed him a smile that was perhaps slightly too enthusiastic. Had Jose just given Quinn a _nickname_?

A piercing whistle filled the air and both Rachel and Kurt found themselves sandwiched in between a throng of McKinley students hollering in appreciation.

'We won?' Rachel thought she was yelling. Jose laughed, joining in with the crowd, cupping his hands around his mouth and saying something about Puck that had Quinn smiling in mild amusement. Rachel felt herself grow a bit rigid, seeing the way Jose gave Quinn a lazy smirk. Kurt hummed under his breath beside her before tugging at her wrist. He was looking at her, one eyebrow raised, and Rachel reluctantly followed behind him as Kurt announced that they would meet the rest of them at the parking lot. Mercedes looked like she was about to protest but the two of them were already gingerly making their way towards the exit.

'He's _staring_,' Kurt said through his teeth, looping her arm through his. Rachel noticed that he was out of the corner of his eye. It was hard not to miss his curly hair and black vest.

'They must have heard about our win at Sectionals,' Rachel wondered out loud, allowing Kurt to separate them from the flow of people straggling towards the exit. She tucked a stray piece of hand behind her ear, tugged on the braid hanging over her shoulder a little bit.

'Sun Tzu?'

'Sun Tzu,' Rachel agreed. 'I'm appropriately flattered and confused by this. Why would they think that a _basketball game _would be an adequate venue to scout out the enemy so to speak? Granted the boys are on the team, but that doesn't really reflect their vocal abilities.'

'I'm beginning to think that the draw here isn't a plural,' Kurt said, jerking his head forward discretely. 'I think it's a singular fascination.'

The boy walking towards them was confident. There was nothing in his gait to suggest that he was anything if not self-aware of his abilities. Despite the fact that their numbers were often more theater than show choir, Vocal Adrenaline were a well-oiled machine. One that had been able to procure Nationals for three consecutive years running by a landslide. From the research she had done, a large part of this rested squarely on the surprisingly broad shoulders of their male lead. Kurt squeezes her elbow and Rachel blinks, realizing that Jesse St James is standing in front of her with a cocky smile tugging at his full lips.

'Well, from what Giselle has told me about McKinley, I expected something quite different,' Jesse started and Rachel found herself looking into a pair of light blue eyes. He shifted and the blue became slightly grey, like an overcast sky.

'Our team is exceptional,' Rachel answered cautiously. A flash of white teeth was her response.

'I'm Jesse-'

'St James,' Rachel finished, making sure to keep her tone neutral. 'I know who you are.'

Jesse regarded her with his head slanted to the side. 'And you're Rachel Berry.'

_This _gave her pause, albeit briefly. She hoped he hadn't noticed her surprise, thought less of her for it. If she was going to be a star, Rachel couldn't be surprised when people knew her name. That was the goal wasn't it?

'I saw you perform at Sectionals. Your rendition of _Don't Rain On My Parade _was flawed,' Jesse's next words made her stomach fall ever so slightly. 'You lacked the emotional depth of Barbara.'

Kurt moved beside her defensively.

'But you _are _talented,' Jesse finished and Rachel thought she detected a hint of respect somewhere in his statement.

'Thank you,' Rachel answered brusquely, trying to ignore the way his hair flopped ever so adorably into his face. Jesse didn't have the hard planes that Puck wore with ease, but there was no denying the fact that he was attractive. She took a moment to admire the way his muscles shifted underneath the collared shirt he had on, sleeves rolled up to reveal wiry but nonetheless muscled arms. The angry female lead from Carmel called out Jesse's name, Rachel seeing the way she planted her hands on her hips in displeasure when she caught sight of whom Jesse was talking to.

'Well, I'll see you around Rachel Barbara Berry.'

'Goodbye Jesse St James,' she made sure to keep her voice cool, unaffected. Jesse looked amused before pivoting on his heel and disappearing with the rest of his Vocal Adrenaline teammates.

'He didn't even notice me!' Kurt finally exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air.

'Who?' Jose asked from behind her.

'Jesse St James,' Kurt fired back, still upset. 'There is _nothing _about this outfit that shouldn't have been noticed. My ass looks _fantastic _in these jeans!'

Rachel chewed her bottom lip, tuning out Mercedes snappy retort. She could still barely make out the back of Jesse as he walked languidly out the door, back straight and poised.

_He had known her name. Her full name._

She wasn't quite sure how to take that. The fact that the opposition had gone to such great lengths to find out so much about her was complimentary but also extremely nerve-wracking. Vocal Adrenaline had been at Sectionals, which meant they had been _right there _watching what they obviously deemed noteworthy opponents outperform two other clubs who had resorted to theft in order to progress towards Regionals. Haverbrook and the Jane Adams girls hadn't presented much of a challenge in the end. The judge who had been a former Miss Ohio a few years ago had chirped on about their _spirit _and that creepy news anchor had smoothly reminded them that he had seen Freddie Mercury perform back in the day.

_Don't Rain On My Parade_ had been her secret weapon, something she could whip out if the tower of cards had folded dramatically. Now that Vocal Adrenaline had experienced it first hand, Rachel wanted to bite her thumb, wondering how else she was going to top _that _against a show choir who had set the standard for the past few years.

_You lacked the emotional depth of Barbara._

She had poured her _everything _into that song. But if _Jesse St James _thought it was inadequate, how were they ever going to beat them? How was _she _going to show the world that Rachel Berry was a diamond in the rough just _waiting _to be discovered?

'Babe?' A warm touch at her elbow made Rachel startle and she found herself looking into a McKinley jersey. A quick glimpse upwards saw Puck giving her a muted look, his hand lingering on the skin of her arm.

'Noah,' she said, infusing some levity. 'You were commendable out there!'

'Yeah?' He retorted. 'Looked like you were too busy looking somewhere else to notice the game,' he muttered just loud enough for her to hear.

'While I'm sure Bee would have _gladly _wanted to ogle your form,' Kurt cut in dramatically. 'I'm afraid, fellow Gleeks, that our perimeters have been breached by the enemy.'

'What?' Finn asked and Rachel saw him standing slightly apart from Puck beside Mike and Matt, all of them still wearing their uniforms.

'It seems that the male lead of Vocal Adrenaline has recognized that Rachel really is our WMD,' Kurt flourished. Puck scowled.

'He say anything to you?'

'Nothing important,' Rachel handily answered, shooting a brief warning glare at Kurt. 'He simply introduced himself.'

'Vocal Adrenaline were at Sectionals. Their intelligence isn't CIA-grade. They made sure they were there to verify it,' Kurt said seriously.

'Regionals is ages away,' Matt said and this sparked something off inside Rachel.

'Regionals is approximately _three months _away Matthew. That is _barely _enough time for us to ensure that our performance is nothing short of excellent,' she snapped and immediately regretted it when everyone looked startled at her outburst. Rachel heaved out a sigh. 'We got lucky at Sectionals. Vocal Adrenaline _know_ this and they aren't going to forget it when they take the stage.'

'I'm so depressed,' she heard Artie mumble. Rachel clenched her fists before plastering a relaxed look on her face.

'We'll just have to work hard. _Harder_,' she corrected herself.

'Yeah we can do that on Monday,' Puck spoke and trailed his hand down until he had grasped her fingers with his. 'Right now I'm fucking beat so we'll see you guys later. Q, you need a lift?'

'I got her,' Finn answered to the surprise of everyone. Quinn herself looked slightly pale but eventually nodded reassuringly towards Puck, who squeezed Rachel's hand before reciprocating.

'Jose, did you require transportation?' Rachel asked and Jose shook his head.

'I'll catch a ride with Matt. Boy lives just around the corner,' Jose told her. He scratched his forehead with his pinky and Rachel nodded. It had been a little sign they had developed at Spartan, when they wanted the other to call without having to let anyone else know.

'Night bitches,' Puck called over his shoulders. Rachel swatted his arm.

'Goodnight everyone!' She managed to get out. The night air hit her and Rachel felt herself shiver at the slight bite, instinctively angling her body towards Puck who shook her hand free and draped it over her shoulders. Slipping an arm around his waist, Rachel resisted the urge to slip her hand underneath his jersey and against his warm, bare skin.

'You okay?'

Rachel looked up, saw the worry and shuttered expression on Puck's face.

'I'm fine Noah. And you truly were excellent tonight,' she answered him, felt him relax a bit at her words. She leaned her head against his chest, enjoying the circles Puck was absently tracing onto her arm.

'Shirt's fucking awesome,' he remarked casually and Rachel smiled into his side, the ends of her mouth slipping a bit when she recalled Jesse's words.

_But you are talented_, he had said.

Well, Rachel was going to show him just how much.

**a/n: so Emrisah you totally made my day. Here's a gold star.**

**I read a rec for this fic somewhere that said this was a fic that goes on and on (they qualified this with it being good but). Nonetheless, you guys need to tell me if this thing feels a bit…dragged out. You will, won't you?**

**There are 921 of you who have alerted this fic. Please take the time to review. I would like to reach 2,300 reviews (o.O). I mean isn't 59 chapters of Puckleberry goodness enough reason?**

**And I think my underdog team for the World Cup is going to be the USA. Two words: Benny Feilhaber. **_**Da-yum. **_

**The refs at this World Cup are dodgy. Just saw the USA v Slovenia game and the WTF moments are almost as bad as Howard Webb refereeing an Arsenal game. And Klose shouldn't have been sent off.**


	60. Chapter 60

Puck caught a glimpse of Rachel out of the corner of his eye. She was humming along to whatever song was coming through the radio, head leaning slightly against the window of his truck. Coasting to a stop at the red light, Puck rubbed a hand down his strip of hair. He wanted to ask her if she was actually okay, because despite her consistent efforts to say otherwise, Puck knew that that Vocal Adrenaline douche hadn't simply _introduced _himself.

It was the muted blue glow of Rachel's _Team Puck! _shirt that actually made him realize that this relationship - or whatever the hell the term was for "a guy who didn't want his girl fucking other guys while he tried to patch things up with the mother of his child" - between them wasn't sticking to the high school cliché.

(Because they _were _a cliché – the no good bad boy shacking up with the virginal high school valedictorian. It was kind of lame but Puck was with _Rachel _so he didn't really care)

Puck realized that if there was anyone who deserved a high school clichéd romance, it was Rachel Berry. When the light turned green, he hooked a left and started towards Main Street. This seemed to rouse Rachel from her stupor.

'Noah, my house is the other way.'

'I know,' he answered simply. Rachel wrinkled her nose.

'Are you starnapping me? Because Noah I'd really rather you didn't tonight.'

There it was, what Puck had been trying to pinpoint all night. The almost defeated tenor that weaved through her small frame had finally manifested itself into something tangible that he could latch on to and try and make right.

'What did Jesse St Jackass say Berry? And don't fucking try and convince me that you're all unicorns and rainbows either. You pretty much took Matt's head off back there.'

Rachel heaved out a sigh, looking slightly irritated. She folded her arms across her chest and crossed her legs, the foot dangling in the air jerking up and down impatiently. Puck, on the other hand, kept his eyes on the road and peeled for a free parking space. Chancing a quick look at the digital clock on his dashboard showed that there was still some time to go before his curfew.

'If you _must _know, Jesse was kind enough to inform me that I lacked the emotional depth of Barbara,' Rachel's words were terse and taunt.

'And you _believed _him?' Puck asked incredulously. Rachel was always so self-assured of her talent, so very confident that her voice was the best there was.

'He's won _three _titles Noah!' Rachel told him seriously. 'He's led Vocal Adrenaline-'

'He was just doing some trash talk,' Puck interjected.

'I'm afraid I'm unfamiliar with that concept.' He was sure she wasn't joking.

'Like…that game when we did the _Single Ladies _dance and I told the ankle-grabber that I fucked his Mum on his Star Wars sheets-'

'_Noah_!'

'What?' He answered, smirking. 'It's just shit we say to get into the other team's head babe. St Jerk probably realized that you're like a threat to his career or something and went in for the kill.'

Rachel chewed her bottom lip, turning over what Puck had just revealed as he pulled the truck into an empty space behind a blue Mini Cooper. Cutting the engine Puck got out of the truck, walking over to the other side to open the passenger door. Rachel was still lost in thought. Puck rolled his eyes, grasping her wrist and tugging her out onto the sidewalk. The bare skin of her arm pressed against the thin material of his jersey and Puck looped his arm over her shoulder, kept her in place.

'I suppose I should consider this some kind of material I can draw upon when I'm a big star. Regardless of my wholesome personality and genuine kindness, the envy my success will stir up will _obviously _attract persons such as Jesse St James,' Rachel murmured, tapping her lip. Puck hummed absently in agreement, spotting the little diner up ahead. It was tucked away in an alcove and the average passerby would miss it completely if they didn't know it was there.

'Rach?'

'Yes?'

'I'd really rather you didn't mention any other fucking guy right now. Because this is Puckleberry time,' Puck informed her.

'I'm sorry. Did you just call us _Puckleberry_?' Rachel looked up at him astonished. Puck shrugged his shoulders while he held open the door for her, recalling what the name Kurt had let slip after Rachel had broken up with James.

'Hummel totally gave us a rockin' nickname that isn't as shitty as Brangelina.'

Rachel said something under her breath that Puck didn't catch before sweeping her eyes over the interior of the diner. It was painted a warm cream, the stainless aluminum tables gleaming underneath the long fluorescent lamps hanging overhead. The chairs were lined with red leather and Puck tugged Rachel into one that hugged the corner wall.

'Oh Noah, this is simply adorable,' she breathed and Puck relaxed at the warm smile that was tugging at the corners of her mouth.

'I figured, you know, we could get something to eat. Hang out. Just the two of us,' he said, reaching out for the menu. Rachel nudged his shoulder.

'Are you asking me out on a date Puckerman?'

'Fuck that noise. You already _are _on a date with the Pucksaurus,' Puck shot back, bumping his shoulder right back. He felt something trace the curve of his cheek and turned his head, meeting Rachel's large, brown eyes. She was just _looking _at him and Puck shifted in his seat, wondering whether this was good enough. Rachel, being psychic, probably guessed what he was thinking because she found his hand, squeezed it gently.

'This is perfect.'

Puck would never tell her how much his chest swelled at her words, but he did pull her flush against his side.

'You want some pancakes?'

'Absolutely not. You've just undergone what I imagine is a strenuous exertion of energy. You will have a nice balanced meal that will replenish the-'

'Are you fucking serious? I'm having pancakes.'

'_No_, you are not.'

'With ice-cream. Probably some bacon.'

'You'll be having the garden salad-'

'_Rabbit food_? Hell no! What are you, my mother? I want the pancakes-'

'What can I get you guys tonight?' A perky blonde waitress was suddenly at their table; pad in hand with her pen poised. Puck opened his mouth but of course Rachel managed to speak before he could even get a word in.

'I'll have the soup of the day with the cheese panini and he'll have the bacon cheeseburger with a salad rather than the fries,' Rachel said with a smile.

'Anything else?' The blonde questioned.

'We'll reconsider our options after we've had our meal,' Rachel responded politely, which earned her an amused smile from the waitress and a scowl from Puck.

'I feel like you've just cockblocked me,' Puck bit out. 'Over a damn _salad_. _Fuck_.'

'Really Noah, there's no need to be so crass. I'm simply making sure that you take care of yourself. I'm surprised that with the amount of junk food you consume, all that saturated cholesterol hasn't resulted in a sudden cardiac arrest.'

'Are you actually sitting there and calling me _fat_?' Puck asked her, incredulous. He flexed his biceps, noting the way Rachel's eyes were drawn to his guns.

'You arms are lovely Noah,' Rachel said with a sloppy smile. It was then Puck finally realized what Rachel had just said.

'You want to take care of me?' He repeated and it sounded so foreign to his ears. Because Puck had been making sure his mother and sister were all right ever since his father had left, made sure that Finn's stupidity didn't get him into shit the moment they had met in Pee Wee League and became best friends. He'd never had anyone really care about what happened to him and yet here was this slip of a girl _wanting _to do just that.

It was amazing and kind of terrifying.

'Well,' Rachel started, flustered. 'I mean, that is, of course I'm concerned about your welfare. Both physically and emotionally as you need both to ensure a well-rounded-'

Puck leant down and pressed his lips to hers, silencing her. His hand came up to cup the side of her face; her fingers curling around the spot at the back of his head that _really _felt good. Her mouth opened and her tongue traced his lip. Puck readily complied and he groaned when her other hand rested on his thigh, fingernails digging through his shorts. _Just a little higher and…_

A throat clearing made them both spring apart. Their waitress stood there with Rachel's soup and his salad in each hand.

'This is a _family _establishment,' the woman remarked slyly. 'Try to keep things kid-friendly, alright?'

'Of course,' Rachel squeaked out, inching away from Puck who was clenching and unclenching his fists as he slumped further down in his seat so that his discomfort wouldn't become a public spectacle.

'I'll be right back with the rest,' the blonde told them, as if issuing a warning. Puck tipped his head, feeling it thud against the wooden headboard. He watched as Rachel nudged his salad towards him, shifted the salad dressing close to the bowl as she picked up her spoon.

He impulsively pressed a kiss into her hair, admired the way her cheeks grew pink.

Fuck she was awesome.

It almost made him want to run out and make himself a _Team Berry! _t-shirt.

Or _Puckleberry_, he mused, digging into his salad without complaint.

**a/n:**

**so I'll overseas until like the second week of July. But I'll update this as soon as I get back. And let's reach 3000 reviews to commemorate the sixtieth chapter of this epic saga =)**

**Follow me on LJ (aswordsworth)**

**I'll give you a little tease for the next chapter – Finn and Santana sing a duet.**

**Enjoy!**


	61. Chapter 61

The next day during glee Rachel was focused. While that night with Puck had been an enthralling and…educational affair, right now she needed to ensure that New Directions not only placed at Regionals, but also secure the obnoxiously large trophy she had seen reflected in Jesse St James' face on Friday.

When she had spoken to Jose after Puck had left her with a kiss on her front porch, her best friend had repeated almost verbatim what Puck had told her earlier.

'He's just tryna get in your head girl. Don't sweat it too much,' Jose had drawled. Rachel had heaved a heavy sigh, wondering how to elucidate what she was feeling deep down inside. Jesse's words had sparked off the insecurity she tried her best to keep a firm hold of.

_Flawed. Lacked the emotional depth of Barbara._

They kept looping through her mind, behind her eyes when she tried to sleep. It was like a parasite inching its way under her skin, unknown before but now rearing its ugly head. Perhaps that description was a tad melodramatic but Rachel sincerely didn't know how exactly she was going to overcome the psychological trauma that the male lead of Vocal Adrenaline had unwittingly inflicted upon her.

And she wasn't going to burden Puck with this, considering that he had valid worries resting upon his shoulders at the moment. Puffing away during her morning exercise, Rachel had stared intently at the large, capitalized sign plastered prominently on her bedpost. That was the end game for now, the crown jewel for the school year that would leave her moderately satisfied. While Puck's situation would remain a priority, Rachel realized that she needed something that was _hers _to funnel whatever negative emotions dealing with Quinn and Puck's child would engender. The idea sounded ludicrous to some but to Rachel it made perfect sense.

It was the only way she knew to retain whatever sanity she had left.

'Still stewing?' Kurt's voice broke Rachel from her thoughts, made her blink. She swept her gaze from the inside of her locker, leaning slightly to meet the other boy's face. Kurt fiddled with the scarf wrapped around his neck, regarding her knowingly.

'It was simply trash talk,' she replied evenly and gently closed her locker door.

'Cherie, _please_. For people of the craft such as ourselves those words were like the guillotine bearing down on our slender necks.'

Rachel winged an eyebrow slightly, allowing Kurt to loop his arm through hers. She drummed her fingers against his hand, chewing her bottom lip. Kurt must have known what had been eating away at her these past few days because he squeezed her arm before speaking.

'You're Rachel Berry. Don't _ever _forget that.' It was said with such conviction, such honesty that Rachel just had to smile.

'Thank you Kurt.'

'Don't fret. If by some unknown disaster you _do _fail to achieve your heights, I _am _a male soprano. My kind are something of a rarity.'

'Yes, thank goodness we have _that_,' Rachel remarked wryly, rolling her eyes. They entered the choir room to see Mike and Puck seated side by side.

'Dude, Super Mario 3 was _way _more kickass. The star worlds! None of the other versions had anything like that!' Puck said.

'Mario 2 was better. Surreal imagery plus _Birdo _man. He was like the first gay videogame character or some shit like that,' Mike shot back. 'Top _that _faux hawk.'

'Fuck you Other Asian.'

'It's conversations like this that make me realize that gay men really are more evolved,' Kurt commented, gliding into the seat next to Rachel. Puck glared, Mike looked affronted, Rachel giggled.

'Have you found a song for the Hello assignment Mr Schue assigned us?' Rachel asked, pressing a quick kiss against Puck's cheek as she settled down.

'I knew I forgot something,' Puck murmured and Rachel whipped her head around, fixing Puck with a steely look that had Mike inching away slowly.

'Noah while admittedly Mr Schuester's assignments are simply another way for him to take away from _real _practice time (I point you towards the _Bust A Move _mash up fiasco), it is nevertheless prudent that we start preparing our set list for Regionals!' Rachel burst out. Puck appeared startled by her vehement tone, both his eyebrows shooting up into his hairline.

'What the hell?' Was all he could managed as Rachel shuffled out a few thin books from her pink suitcase. Puck studied the crown of her head, caught the way Kurt had pressed his lips together after Rachel's outburst. Puck had spent the entire weekend and yesterday trying to figure out what had made Rachel so…_un-Rachel _before their date Friday night. Puck bet his money it had been something to do with that Jesse douche but Rachel had remained tight-lipped, brushing off his questions and somehow managing to steer the conversation away to other less threatening topics. Judging by the expression on Hummel's face, Puck _knew _that the kicker knew _exactly _what Jesse had said to Rachel.

It kind of pissed him off that she couldn't even bother to let him know what was pissing _her _off.

Thankfully Mr Schue chose that moment to enter, the rest of the club trailing along behind him. Brittany flashed them a bright smile before grabbing Mike's hand. Finn shuffled in with his eyes fixed on the floor, positioning himself apart from the rest of the group. Santana sauntered in, gave Puck an evil look. Quinn was the last to enter, Jose hobbling along beside her.

Puck narrowed his eyes, seriously wondering what the fuck was up with that. It wasn't like he was jealous or anything, he told himself, noticing the way Quinn smiled easily around Jose. It was just that any guy who got involved with Quinn got involved with his kid and Puck already had to share her with Finn, despite the tall teenager's efforts to distance himself away from both Quinn and himself.

'So did anyone have any luck?' Mr Schue asked and Rachel begun frantically flipping through what looked like a songbook, eyes scanning the pages at a feverish pace that had Puck frowning. Rachel had _never _been this crazy about glee before, and _that _was saying something considering the fact that Berry pretty much set the standard for things like _determination_ and _dedication _and _drive_.

'I've got something Mr Schue,' Finn spoke and everyone in the room held their breath, as if the pet rock Puck had kept during kindergarten had suddenly started speaking to him from inside the shoe box. Schue of course looked _thrilled _that his golden boy was actually engaging with the rest of them and nodded his head, stepping aside. Rachel, for her part, had stopped her perusal and was instead furrowing her brow, her lips pulling downwards when she saw Santana flick her ponytail over her shoulder as she took her place beside Finn.

_This _gave Puck pause, his eyes darting back and forth between the unlikely pair.

'I think I've got something that kinda says what I'm feeling,' Finn announced and was it Puck's imagination or was there a hint of malice when the quarterback flashed his gaze Quinn's way? Something heavy and slimy settled at the bottom of his stomach. Shit. Puck had a feeling that whatever was about to happen would fuck things up _again_.

[Key: **Finn**, _Santana_, _**together**_]

_I wake up every evening__  
__With a big smile on my face__  
__And it never feels out of place__  
__And you're still probably working__  
__At a 9 to 5 pace__  
__I wonder how bad that tastes_

_When you see my face__  
_**I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell****  
**_When you walk my way__  
_**I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell**

Yeah, Santana was definitely looking Puck's way when she was singing that.

**Now where's your picket fence love?****  
****And where's that shiny car?****  
****Did it ever get you far?****  
****You never seem so tense, love****  
****I never seen you fall so hard****  
****Do you know where you are?****  
**  
**And truth be told I miss you****  
****And truth be told I'm lying**

And of course Hudson would be looking at Quinn when he sang that.

**When you see my face**  
_Hope it gives you hell, Hope it gives you hell__  
_**When you walk my way****  
**_Hope it gives you hell, Hope it gives you hell__  
_**If you find a man that's worth the damn and treats you well****  
**_(Treats you well)__  
_**Then he's a fool you're just as well hope it gives you hell****  
**_Hope it gives you hell__  
_  
**Tomorrow you'll be thinking to yourself****  
****Yeah. Where did it all go wrong?****  
****But the list goes on and on****  
**  
_And truth be told I miss you__  
__And truth be told I'm lying__  
_  
_When you see my face__  
_**Hope it gives you hell, Hope it gives you hell****  
**_When you walk my way__  
_**Hope it gives you hell, Hope it gives you hell****  
**_If you find a man that's worth the damn and treats you well__  
_**(Treats you well)****  
**_Then he's a fool you're just as well hope it gives you hell__  
_  
**Now you'll never see****  
****What you've done to me****  
****You can take back your memories****  
****They're no good to me****  
**_**And here's all your lies**__**  
**__**You can look me in the eyes**__**  
**__**With the sad, sad look**__**  
**__**That you wear so well**__**  
**_  
_**When you see my face**__**  
**__**I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell**__**  
**__**When you walk my way**__**  
**__**I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell**__**  
**__**If you find a man that's worth the damn and treats you well**__**  
**__(Treats you well)__  
__**Then he's a fool you're just as well hope it gives you hell**__**  
**_  
_**When you see my face**__**  
**__**I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell**__**  
**_**(hope it gives you hell)****  
**_**When you walk my way**__**  
**__**I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell**__**  
**__(hope it gives you hell)__  
__**When you hear this song and you sing along well you'll never tell**__**  
**_**(you'll never tell)****  
**_**Then you're the fool I've just as well I hope it gives you hell**__**  
**__(gives you hell)__  
__**When you hear this song I hope that it will give you hell**__**  
**_**(give you hell)****  
**_**You can sing along I hope that it puts you through hell**_

Quinn let out a short gasp, covering her mouth with her hand. Puck could see the glassy sheen in his baby mama's eyes and he clenched his fists as Quinn brushed by him as she hurried out of the choir room. Santana looked triumphant and Puck ground his teeth together.

'_Finn Hudson_!' Rachel's voice cracked like a whip across the room, part shock, part outrage. Berry was glancing towards the door, looked down towards Jose who struggled to his feet.

'Wrong move Hudson,' Jose said, tone neutral. Puck smirked, seeing Finn's adam's apple bob at the vague threat. Mr Schue looked uncomfortable, Santana with her arms crossed glaring defiantly at them all.

'What the fuck is _wrong _with you?' Puck demanded, side-stepping around Rachel. 'And since when is allying yourself with Satan's Little Helper part of your MO?' Puck added for good measure, returning Santana's gaze without flinching.

Finn mumbled something under his breath.

'What did you say?' Puck asked, inching closer towards Finn. Hudson narrowed his eyes, lips twisting into a cruel smirk that Puck never thought he would ever see on his former best friend's face.

'She deserved to know how I felt.'

'You didn't have to do it in front of an audience Finn,' Rachel rebuked, her voice barely above a whisper but somehow making Finn flinch. 'Quinn deserves more than that.'

Santana scoffed. 'Please. She got exactly what was coming to her.'

Rachel drew herself up to her full – albeit not very impressive height – and stared at Santana with what he thought was contempt.

'Quinn has been your best friend since you were young Santana-'

'Are you seriously going to give me advice about _friendships_?' Santana interjected but Rachel plowed on before Puck could speak.

'While I'm not certain of the depth of your relationship, I'm sure I can say with confidence that if the situation had been reversed, Quinn would _never _have considered humiliating you in such a manner.' Rachel whirled around to face Finn. 'And Finn, you _love _Quinn. Is this really how you-'

'I _loved _her Rach,' Finn broke in, voice sounding weary. 'Now she's just the girl who lied to me and cheated on me with my best friend.'

Puck winced.

'She's not always going to be that way,' Rachel said and this made Puck look at her, wondering if there was some kind of subtext buried within her words.

'Whatever Berry,' Santana said, sounding eerily calm as she headed towards the door. 'Tell me if you're still spinning that tale when your best friend fucks your boyfriend behind your back.'

_Well damn._

**a/n:**

**I'm back! There'll be an outtake for this between Finn and Santana so keep a look out for that in "North: The Outtakes".**

**And in response – I hope Spain lift the World Cup =)**

**Follow me on LJ (aswordsworth)**


	62. Chapter 62

Rachel rapped her knuckles gently on the bathroom door, heard the quiet sniffling behind the portal cease momentarily. Kurt hovered behind her somewhat anxiously, eyes fixed on the opposite end of the hallway.

'Are you sure it was a good idea to send Puck to Finn?' Kurt asked her nervously. Rachel swallowed as something scraped against the wooden door.

'If we let this fester any longer, it's going to tear us apart. We need to be a cohesive unit Kurt, otherwise we're not going to accomplish anything but a daytime soap,' Rachel remarked caustically. She blinked and found herself staring into the face of Quinn Fabray. The blonde in question rolled her eyes, laughed wetly.

'Oh _god_,' was all the other girl said before disappearing into the bathroom. Rachel gave Kurt one last pointed look before following behind her, making sure the door was locked securely. Quinn was smoothing her hair down in front of the mirror, her fingers running through her locks methodically. Rachel resisted the urge to tap her feet against the floor.

'Are you okay?' Rachel ventured clumsily. Despite the fact that Quinn was quite possibly lower on the totem pole than she was, Rachel still couldn't help the feeling of awe and intimidation that often crept up whenever she was in the former Cheerio's presence. Perhaps it had something to do with the manner in which Quinn had treated her – degraded her really if Rachel was being honest – or perhaps it was because Quinn had had her claws hooked securely into the only two boys Rachel had ever exhibited any kind of interest in. Either way, the nerves she was currently experiencing could be rationalized.

'Do I _look _like I'm okay?' Quinn answered, raising an eyebrow. The sarcasm evident in her tone made Rachel bite her lip.

'No, no you're not. I can't imagine-'

'Rachel,' Quinn interrupted her sharply, her hands falling from her hair and clenching at her side. Rachel met her blue gaze and for a moment there was only the sound of them breathing, Rachel's even breath against Quinn's hitched pattern.

'Why are you being nice to me?'

Rachel sucked in her cheeks, shifted her eyes away from the mirror and focused instead on the chip etched into the corner of a tile. She turned the question over in her head, wondered the same thing. _Why _was she trying to be the better person? It would be so much easier to simply hate Quinn for what she was, for what Rachel thought she was. This bitter, angry girl who had lied to her boyfriend and strung along another who didn't deserve to have his own child used as leverage. But then the red-rimmed lids and the shaky tremor of her lips reminded Rachel that Quinn wasn't simply what she let people believe she was. Rachel heaved out a sigh, tugged at the hem of her sweater vest.

'Because if the roles were reversed I'd like to think you'd do the same to me,' Rachel repeated the words she had spoken all those months ago. Quinn scoffed.

'I would torture you,' Quinn whispered harshly. 'I'd be the bitch Santana said I was. Still am,' she added almost as an afterthought.

'Look Quinn, admittedly I should have every reason to dislike you. You're bearing my boyfriend's child and you trampled over the heart of a good…friend,' Rachel fumbled for the right word. 'You used the love that these two boys felt for you and twisted it to your advantage. And you haven't apologized to either of them-'

'I told Puck I was sorry,' Quinn interjected. 'Alright? I did.'

'That's admirable,' Rachel commented slowly. 'But did you do the same to Finn?'

'Yeah. Because I'm sure he would have accepted it. Face it Berry, whatever the hell I say to Finn, it isn't going to make up for what I did.'

'Well, you managed to find some common ground with Noah didn't you? And speaking from experience, Noah is a stubborn individual who doesn't dole out forgiveness easily,' Rachel admitted though it pained her somewhat to say so.

_I want Puck to hate you, to detest what you've done. Not look at you and wonder what might have been._

That was the root of it all, wasn't it? The fact that despite his claims to care for her, Puck could decide that it was only natural to be with the mother of his child. To try and make that relationship work for the benefit of their unborn daughter. It was a worry that often lingered in her mind and so far she had managed to push it away with a gold star. But now it wasn't as simple.

'Puck hasn't forgiven me. We're doing what's best for our daughter and that's about it,' Quinn said, splaying her fingers over her stomach. 'He doesn't trust me.'

An uneasy silence lingered over them both.

'You have to apologize to Santana Quinn,' Rachel finally broke the tension. Quinn stiffened visibly. 'She was your best friend.'

'If she was my best friend, she wouldn't be pulling stunts like that.'

'Granted her attempt at revenge was somewhat tacky,' Rachel said, keeping her tone even. 'But you _did _sleep with her boyfriend-'

This time Quinn snorted. 'Are you serious? You realize that she dumped him over his credit score? And it isn't like she didn't do the same. I know for a fact that she gave a BJ to Linder the same time Puck and I…' Quinn trailed off, shooting Rachel an uncomfortable look. Rachel cleared her throat.

'When you had intercourse with Noah, yes.' Rachel was proud her voice never wavered when she said that out loud. 'Their unconventional relationship aside, isn't there some kind of code you don't engage with the significant other of-'

'I slept with Puck because of _you _RuPaul!' Quinn burst out, spinning around and jabbing her finger towards Rachel. 'You were flashing your big doe eyes at _my _boyfriend, _kissing _him in the auditorium. I felt fat that day and he was just _there_. And we were drinking all that wine…'

Rachel was sure her mouth was hanging open in shock.

'You felt…_fat_?' She murmured in disbelief. 'But…you were the head cheerleader. You were the most popular girl in school.'

'Finn didn't seem to care,' Quinn muttered in response and Rachel felt her jaw click shut in embarrassment, in shame.

_I'm such a hypocrite._

'I'm sorry Quinn,' Rachel said softly, twisting the material between her fingers sharply. 'I never…that is I didn't…'

'It's fine okay? It doesn't matter anymore,' Quinn cut her off. 'I'm _fine_.'

Rachel was sure Quinn hadn't convinced herself that she was anything other than okay with that statement. But seeing the way Quinn's fingers were wrapped tight around the porcelain sink, Rachel decided that perhaps that there was one thing that needed to be said.

'I…When I first heard from Noah about the true paternity of the child, I admit that I wanted to take a pair of scissors and hack away the hair that you prize so greatly. But after the anger and the hurt faded away, I also realized that I couldn't ever imagine knowing what to do in your position. Perhaps I'll never fully understand or forgive you for what you did, but I believe that I can somehow attempt to rationalize your behaviour. You're a pregnant teenage girl who is currently living in a basement that isn't in her own home. For that, I'll extend you some sympathy,' Rachel got out in a rush.

'Thanks,' Quinn countered wryly.

Rachel wanted to tell her that whatever animosity between her, Finn and Santana needed to be put aside so that glee could function as a unit, as a team united in a common goal. Nationals was looming closer and everything inside of Rachel screamed that that trophy was _it_, that that was what they all needed to make everything alright again. But the set of Quinn's features made her hold her tongue.

_Never let it be said that I haven't achieved some measure of personal growth._

'Come on. Kurt is going to drive you-'

'Are you coming with me?' Quinn asked and Rachel fluttered her eyes, unsure if she had heard that right.

'Well, I didn't think that you would want me.' Quinn flinched imperceptibly but Rachel noticed and felt her chest swell slightly. 'But if you want me to-'

'I just…I need a Snickers bar,' Quinn retorted, angling her head away.

_I need a friend right now._

'I'm sure we can find a vending machine nearby. Despite the gross obesity besetting the youth of today, I find it appalling that these so-called educational institutions _condone _the perpetuation of…'

Rachel was too involved to notice the grateful look Quinn sent her way, or the subconscious way the blonde brushed against her shoulder, as if seeking some form of comfort.

Kurt did though and Rachel paused warily when she caught sight of the amused and affectionate look plastered over the kicker's features.

'What is it?'

'Oh nothing,' Kurt waved away her comment, pressing his key into the palm of Rachel's hand. 'You ladies head towards the car. I'll grab our stuff and be right with you.'

Kurt watched the two girls walk away, side by side, Rachel chattering on lightly while Quinn followed along silent. His lips quirked into a smile. No matter what he had thought about Rachel Berry, there was no mistaking she was a good friend to have.

_And I'll never take that for granted_.


	63. Chapter 63

Puck grit his teeth, spotted Jose leaning against the edge of the locker room door. He looked over his shoulder one last time to catch the ends of Rachel's hair slipping down her back before turning to face forward.

'He in there?' Puck asked Jose, who jerked his head in assent. Squaring his shoulders Puck leaned on the door, sharing a look with Jose who remained where he was. Sucking in a deep breath he leaned his shoulder against the door and walked in, shoving his hands into his pockets. He carefully advanced towards the bench Finn is hunched over, stopping a few centimeters away. The uncomfortable silence that hangs over the both of them made Puck swallow and he cleared his throat.

'Great,' Finn murmured. 'God can't you take a hint?'

'That was seriously uncool Hudson,' Puck answered, making sure his tone remained neutral. 'You can't pull that kind of shit on a pregnant chick man.'

Finn's spine straightened abruptly. 'Are you _lecturing _me?'

'Dude, you let _Santana _talk you into this!' Puck yelled back. 'There is no way that your pea-sized brain-'

'_Shut up_!' Finn roared and climbed to his feet, spinning around so that he was face to face with Puck. Puck took a small step back, saw the way the blood was rushing into Finn's cheeks. 'You don't get to stand there and tell me what's right and what's wrong.'

'Look Finn, I fucked up okay. I _know _that-'

'No,' Finn shook his head, slicing a hand through the air. 'No you don't know anything. You're supposed to be my _best friend _man. You're not supposed to go and fuck my girlfriend and then make her lie about it to me!'

_What the hell?_

'Okay,' Puck started. 'First of all you were the idiot who believed you could knock someone up in a _hot tub_.' He continued, seeing Finn open his mouth to protest. 'Second of all, you think _I _was the one pulling the strings? Quinn was the one who wanted to-'

'Why didn't you tell her that-'

'_Because she wouldn't let me near my kid_,' Puck interrupted, meeting Finn's eyes. 'You think I didn't step up the moment I found out? Fuck you Hudson. I got blown out of the water because the Virginal Quinn wanted my daughter to be yours. She didn't want to have anything to do with me alright? Are you happy? She knew how much of a screw up I was, probably read your mind like some kind of freaky mind meld thing you guys have going on…' Puck trailed off, feeling uncomfortable as he felt Finn's stare brush against his face.

He focused on the dented door to Finn's locker, thankful that Finn hadn't punched him quite that hard when he had found out the truth. His jaw twinged and the spot just above his eyebrow throbbed in response, like some kind of phantom reprimand.

'This is screwed up,' was all Finn finally said and Puck chuckled darkly in response.

'Fucking understatement of the century,' Puck mumbled under his breath, darting a quick glance to Finn's face that was puckered at the brow.

'She really said that? That she wouldn't let you…'

'Look man, once you named Drizzle Drizzle I knew things were completely fucked. And then once I told Rachel, I knew that telling you was what needed to be done alright? So the day you fucking broke my face was the day we were going to tell you.'

'Too little, too late,' Finn remarked and there was no missing the bite in his words. 'That doesn't even make what both of you did okay. I _trusted _the both of you. Now you're both just…you're just _there_. And I can't decide whether I want to punch you or cry.'

Puck tried not to let Finn's use of past tense get under his skin.

'You want to hit me again?' Puck demanded curtly. 'Because I'll stand here and take it. It's the least I fucking deserve.'

Finn frowned. 'What?'

'What?' Puck repeated, confused at the lack of anger.

'You _want _me to hit you?' Finn said slowly, as if he wasn't quite sure he had heard right. 'Because you deserve it?'

Puck shifted uncomfortably, realizing that Finn was the only person aside from his family who knew about what his father had done before the older Puckerman had hauled his sorry ass out the door.

'Whatever. I'm giving you a free pass,' Puck fired back, rocking back on his heels. He heard Finn heave out a tired sigh, something weary and defeated. Puck took a look at the boy he had befriended in the sandbox, a fellow outcast without a father, someone who had been there for him when he needed him.

'I'm sorry.'

Finn glanced up, the surprise on his face making Puck want to laugh so hard that his side would stitch up. How shitty was it that his best friend (former best friend, a voice chided him) was halfway shocked that he'd actually _apologized_?

'Shit man, why the fuck do you look like you found a cow on the moon or something?'

'Cows can't survive on the moon,' Finn pointed out and Puck rolled his eyes.

'I'm sorry okay. There. It's out there. I'm sorry I've been a douche to you.'

'Yeah,' Finn shrugged his shoulders and Puck wondered what that meant. 'I'm not going to forgive you and I don't think I can even look at Quinn right now. But thanks. I guess.'

'So we cool?' Puck smirked and failed at his attempt at levity.

'Not right now,' Finn answered and Puck felt his shoulders lower, knowing that was better than what he deserved.

'You still should set shit straight with Quinn. And never speak to Santana again. Evil doesn't look good on you,' Puck commented.

'But you wear it so well,' Finn shot back and Puck didn't know whether to be impressed by the jab or not.

'Probably earned that,' Puck said, running a hand down his head. 'But seriously Hudson, talk to Quinn. Before Rachel like hunts you down and pulls some _CSI _shit.'

Finn appeared to take this seriously because his eyes widened ever so slightly. He turned his face up, a question written onto his features, but he never opened his mouth to give voice to it. Puck was pretty sure it had something to do with Rachel, about how the girl who had held a candle for him could stand by someone who had slighted him so badly.

Puck was thankful he didn't have to answer that, because he wasn't quite sure of the answer himself.

'So yeah, I'm just gonna go,' Puck hitched his thumb over his shoulder, edging towards the door. Finn nodded his head, folded himself back down onto the bench. 'You sure you don't want to take another swing? It'll make you feel better.'

'Maybe,' Finn mused, voice quiet. 'But it wouldn't make you feel the same.'

'**I'm going to kick his ass,' a nine-year-old Finn Hudson told him, wincing when he saw the bruise on Puck's shoulder. 'I know he's like your Dad and stuff, but you're my brother and no one is allowed to do that.'**

**Puck stared at the tall boy, ignored the way his throat closed up slightly. Finn had only seen the mark because Puck had forgotten all about it in his haste to get his shirt off before jumping into the lake. **

_**His brother.**_

'**Dude, did you just say ass?' Puck said instead and splashed some water onto Finn's face, laughing at the way his friend spluttered.**

_**His best friend. His brother.**_

'I'm sorry,' Puck managed to choke out one last time over his shoulder, whipping his head around and trying to pretend that that wasn't the worst thing he had ever had to say.

**a/n:**

**shamelessly pimping out my Dark Angel fic "Medium". If you adore your Max/Alec, this will hit the spot :)**

**thanks for reading!**


	64. Chapter 64

Rachel wasn't a fool. Far from it actually. Which was why the sight of Jesse St James standing beside Mr Schue immediately sent klaxons echoing through her head. Puck sat to her side, his arm dangled across the back of her chair. She knew that if she deigned to lean back ever so slightly there would be no missing the tense set of his muscles. The left tackle had been that way since his confrontation with Finn.

While Rachel was glad that neither of the two boys had resorted to fisticuffs, she knew that the emotional blows inflicted within the locker room walls had been worse. But of course Puck had been anything but forthcoming. Instead he had glowered at her when she had attempted to broach the subject, stating flatly that he didn't want to talk about it. Despite everything within her screaming for him to let her shoulder some of his burden, she had nodded mutely. Rachel thought back to the smiling boy who had sat beside in the diner, fingers tracing the curve of her knee as the waitress watched them with knowing eyes. Had it really only been just a few days ago?

And now _this_?

'Mr Schuester, you _cannot _be serious,' Rachel finally spoke up, sending a sharp glare towards the New Directions chair. The frown decorating the teacher's brow was nothing new and usually Rachel delivered her next line with a bit more tact. But in this case she wasn't at all concerned about sparing the curly-haired man's feelings.

'Jesse's paperwork checks out Rachel,' Mr Schue said in that patronizing tone he sometimes adopted when conversing with her. 'His parents are actually living in Bali and he is staying with his relatives here in Lima.'

'Why would Jesse's parents be living in a grain?' Brittany asked and Rachel whipped her head around to stare at Brittany. Catching sight of the small smirk tugging at the corners of the Dutch girl's mouth, Rachel clucked her tongue and fisted her hands on her hips.

'You expect us to believe that on the swan song of your high school career, you've voluntarily left a guaranteed spot at Nationals to work with us?' Rachel demanded, her skepticism obvious. 'As _captain _of Glee I believe that I should have been consulted about this decision!'

'Rachel, this isn't a gleeocracy. I'm Director and Jesse's contribution will definitely be anything but-'

'You were here spying on us at the game last week,' Rachel steamrolled right through Mr Schue's words, turning her nose up at an amused Jesse.

'I was simply perusing my options,' Jesse replied back sedately, flashing her a lopsided smile that made the dimple on his cheek turn out ever so slightly.

'No offence Mr Schue but Berry's right. No way this guy is here without some intention of screwing us over,' Puck's voice sounded behind her. Jesse tilted his head to the side, as if to get a better look at her boyfriend. Rachel didn't care for the smirk that pulled at his features.

This boy standing before her had done something that no other person had been able to do – he had made her doubt herself. Not as a teenage girl or a friend or any of those other romantic labels. No, he had burrowed down and attacked the one thing Rachel had always kept sacred – her talent. Jesse had blatantly attacked her voice, her performance, her _very being_. That solo at Sectionals had been her introduction to the Lima Glee circuit, a way to show everyone that Rachel Berry wasn't content to linger in the shadows anymore. Instead of being a curtain call filled with roses lying at her feet, Jesse had made it something of a baptism of fire.

_You lacked the emotional depth of Barbara._

The remark still stung, like a needle piercing through skin.

'I thought you would take this news a little better,' Jesse remarked, raising an eyebrow. 'I'm a star. You can learn from me.'

'Peter, Paul and Mary J. Blige! You _did not _just say that!' Kurt exclaimed.

'Guys!' Mr Schue shouted, his voice raising above the din. 'Everything's above board. Jesse goes to this school now.'

'Did you make sure the paperwork wasn't forged?' Artie chipped in and received a withering glare from the teacher.

'We're already fighting for second leads. And now that the Crown Prince has shown up, the rest of us don't stand a chance,' Kurt murmured loud enough for everyone to hear.

'Being Michelle Williams ain't _anything _like being Kelly Rowland,' Mercedes said, folding her arms and casting Rachel a meaningful look.

A distinctive scoff emanated from the back and Rachel saw Finn twist his head around to regard Santana as she spoke.

'Please Mr Schue. He's a spy.'

'Because we all know you're an expert in manipulation,' Quinn shot back.

'Look whose talking Mary Magdalene,' Santana bit back, narrowing her dark eyes until they were almost slits.

Rachel wanted to turn around and hush them, lecture them on how it wasn't tactically sound to reveal the fractions within what was supposed to be a unified group. Jesse noticed of course. It seemed that he always did.

'He didn't audition,' Jose offered and Jesse's smile became a bit stilted as the rest of the club murmured in agreement.

'You made Jose do it when he joined. Can't really be fair if you don't ask Boy Wonder here to do the same,' Mike agreed, tapping his fingers against his thigh. Mr Schue sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as if to ward off a headache.

'Of course. What better way to demonstrate how its done than with the act itself,' Jesse said over his shoulder, sweeping his fingers against the keys of the piano as he settled himself on to the bench. The opening notes coming alive under his fingers tickled at the back of Rachel's mind, so much so that she almost missed his next words.

'Rachel? As female lead I'm sure you'll be able to accompany me. The song should be familiar,' Jesse called.

_Was that a challenge?_

Gripping the edge of her skirt, Rachel felt the back of her teeth grind together in frustration. She was just about to get off her seat when she felt Puck's fingers pull at the small of her back. Turning her head, she noted the inscrutable expression on his face. A moment passed and he didn't utter a word. Jesse plucked away at the keys, the music calling to her. Gently prying out of Puck's hold, Rachel walked towards Jesse who had already shifted so that there was enough space for her beside him.

**[Jesse, **_**Rachel**_**, ****Together****]**

**I've been alone with you inside my mind****  
****And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times****  
****I sometimes see you pass outside my door****  
****Hello, is it me you're looking for?**

There was no denying his voice was good, enchanting, expressive. There was also no denying the anxiety creeping across her skin as he looked towards her expectantly.

_You're Rachel Berry. Don't let anyone let you think differently._

Still, she couldn't help the slightly hesitant quality of her tone when she sang.

**I can see it in your eyes****  
****I can see it in your smile****  
****You're all I've ever wanted, and my arms are open wide****  
****'Cause you know just what to say****  
****And you know just what to do****  
****And I want to tell you so much, I love you...****  
****  
**_**Ohh yeahh...**__**  
**_**  
****I long to see the sunlight in your hair****  
**_**And tell you time and time again how much I care**_

Rachel slanted her eyes towards Puck, who returned her gaze without flinching.

__**Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow****  
****Hello, I've just got to let you know****  
****  
****'Cause I wonder where you are****  
****And I wonder what you do****  
****Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?****  
****Tell me how to win your heart****  
****For I haven't got a clue****  
****But let me start by saying... **

**I love you...****  
****  
****Is it me you're looking for?****  
****'Cause I wonder where you are****  
****And I wonder what you do (**_**wonder what you do...**_**)****  
****Are you somewhere ****feeling lonely or is someone loving you?****  
****Tell me how to win your heart****  
****For I haven't got a clue****  
****But let me start by saying ... I love you **

Rachel held her breath as the last note faded away, wondering how she never noticed how very blue his eyes were or the way that curl draped over his eyebrow.

'Satisfied?' Jesse's voice startled her but she didn't jump, calmly climbing from her skirt and making certain to focus her attention on smoothing out whatever wrinkles had managed to make their presence known.

_That was…he was…we were…_

_Don't even go there Rachel Barbara Berry. _

'Whatever. Berry totally carried your ass,' Puck bit out and Rachel shot her eyes towards him, a bit stunned at the vehemence colouring his words. 'Me and Finn can handle solos just fine-'

'I'm more than happy to take a backseat,' Jesse said and this time Rachel didn't bother gaping at him. Mr Schue wandered over, giving Jesse a hearty pat on the back.

'Welcome to the team Jesse.'

_He's Jesse St James_, she wanted to scream, _he doesn't know the meaning of anything besides male lead! What is the matter with you?_

'Wonderful,' she muttered under her breath, running a hand through her hair. 'Absolutely wonderful.'

'I look forward to working with you Rachel,' Jesse managed to get out as Rachel marched over towards her belongings.

'You may have convinced Mr Schuester St James,' Rachel replied, keeping her tone cordial but making sure there was an edge of warning. 'But it takes far more than a duet to change my mind.'

'There's no denying that we both have chemistry.'

Rachel blinked, wondering if she had misheard. Shaking her head, she tucked her binders under her arm.

'_Musical _chemistry,' she corrected him. 'And perhaps. But my heart belongs to another.'

Jesse followed her gaze to an irritated Puck, who made his dislike for their new member blatantly obvious.

'How quaint,' Jesse murmured caustically.

'_Good day _Jesse,' Rachel shot back, tossing her hair over her shoulder and making sure to fix herself securely to Puck's side when he hauled her next to him.

She couldn't ignore the burning stare branding the back of her head and wondered if that was why Puck was suddenly being so tactile. Rachel found she didn't care, not really.

Right now she just wanted to relish the fact that Puck did care, perhaps as much as she did for him.

**a/n: Sorry for the late update. University has been a bitch. Enjoy.**

**Follow me on - LJ (aswordsworth) or twitter (aswordsworth)! Let's talk Glee/Puckleberry/how hot Mark Salling is sans shirt =)**


	65. Chapter 65

It had been a week since Jesse had arrived and Puck already felt like strangling the curly-haired motherfucker. Not only did the guy have talent, he was one of those idiots who _knew _that they did. Yeah Puck was man enough to admit that St Douche had the singing chops. Puck could respect _that_.

What he couldn't stand was the way Jesse seemed to be eyeing his girlfriend like she was some kind of oasis in the Sahara fucking Desert.

'You look like you stuck a fork in a toaster,' Brittany chirped as she seated herself down next to Puck, placing her lunch tray neatly in front of her. Puck didn't reply, keeping his eyes focused on Rachel as she gestured at the Snickers bar in Quinn's hand across the cafeteria. Puck allowed himself a small smirk, remembering the way Rachel had forced Quinn to sit through a powerpoint presentation detailing how _not _nutritional processed food was for the baby.

'Rachel's hair looks shiny.'

This pulled Puck from his thoughts. 'What?'

'You've been staring at Ray a lot lately. It's not creepy like the way Jacob does, but its still kind of…weird,' Brittany said, wrinkling her nose.

'Whatever. My girl's hot.'

Brittany tilted her head to the side, her blonde hair sliding out from behind her neck.

'Is it because of Jesse?'

'No,' Puck retorted curtly.

'Right,' Brittany drawled out, unwrapping her green jelly. 'Because you've _totally _missed the way he's, like, practically undressing Rachel with his eyes.'

Puck ground his teeth, drumming his fingers against the table. He missed the way Brittany raised an eyebrow at his reaction.

'Seriously Puck, you don't have to worry about Rachel. Like I told Ray, you and her are so Chair that it's seriously disturbing.'

This time Puck stared at the blonde cheerleader, who gave him what she thought was a reassuring smile.

'I have no fucking clue what you just said,' Puck told her, voice flat. Brittany's smile faltered and a part of him felt guilty because being mad at this girl was kind of like kicking a puppy. Puck sighed heavily, flashed his friend an apologetic look.

'I just…whatever,' he mumbled, straightening a bit when Rachel caught his eye. She broke out into a grin that made her brown eyes shine that bit more and Puck couldn't help but smile back, even when Quinn rolled her eyes at the two of them. It still tripped Puck out, seeing the two of them together. He was sure there was some kind of unwritten rule that said that the mother of your child and your girlfriend shouldn't be within spitting distance of each other. But he supposed if there was anyone who could rewrite the rules, it would be Rachel Berry.

'Good afternoon,' Rachel said, bending over to peck Puck on the lips.

'Are you _still _trying to make me nauseous?' Quinn muttered loudly and Rachel brushed off her words, pulling out the chair next to her boyfriend. Her hand found his and Puck squeezed a bit when she twined their fingers together.

'Has anyone seen Kurt or Mercedes?' Rachel asked and Puck lifted a shoulder lazily.

'They said they had to take care of something,' Brittany responded before adding seriously. 'I really hope it isn't the bird I keep in my locker. Or my cat.'

The rest of lunch passed by in a hazy kind of blur for Puck. All he noticed was the warmth of Rachel's skin and the fact that Jesse wasn't anywhere in the near vicinity. Finn had walked by their table though, his face straight ahead, and something had throbbed inside Puck's chest.

'See you at glee,' Rachel whispered before giving him another peck on the lips. Puck watched her go, taking in the smooth line of her legs, before shaking his head and heading off in the opposite direction.

When Rachel arrived at glee, she wasn't surprised to see Jesse already seated in the front row. Holding her nose up slightly, Rachel offered a nod of acknowledgment to the band members already present and a half-hearted one aimed towards Jesse.

'I'm surprised you haven't bludgeoned me with a music stand,' Jesse remarked as Rachel picked a spot a healthy distance away from him.

'I don't condone violence,' Rachel replied, wondering where Puck was. Having memorized his schedule, she knew he only had a short walk to the choir room after Biology.

'You're an amazing singer Rachel. A shame that you waste it on such small fish.'

_I knew it._

'This _small fish _is two times the show choir Vocal Adrenaline could ever hope to be,' Rachel retorted sharply.

'You can't seriously believe that.'

'It's comments like that that make it very difficult to trust you. _Why _are you here Jesse? Shelby Corcoran is hardly the type of coach that would let her prized asset simply walk away without reproach,' Rachel mulled the thought over in her head, scrutinizing Jesse more intently. She noted the way Jesse's eyes became a bit more shuttered at the mention of Shelby's way, the discrete way he swallowed.

'As Mr Schuester said, I've come to live with my relatives for the remainder of the year.'

Rachel couldn't help herself, snorting in a rather unladylike fashion. Hearing heavy footfalls, she glanced up to see Puck stroll in with a frown pulling at his features.

'Hey baby,' Puck said, rather loudly, before pressing a bruising kiss onto her lips. Rachel was taken aback, hearing the chair scrape loudly against the floor as Puck dragged her closer towards him. Before she could say anything else – and not missing the amused glance Jesse sent their way – the rest of the club trickled in. Jose hobbled alongside Quinn, all but collapsing into the nearest available chair.

'Fuck this shit man,' Jose said, exasperated.

'Language,' Quinn reprimanded, though she smiled down at a small cross someone had drawn onto his cast.

Finn and Santana walked in at the same time, Finn looking slightly nervous while Santana sent a dark look Quinn and Jesse's way. Mike, Matt and Brittany tumbled in after, Mr Schue following close behind them. Rachel noticed the excited tilt of Mr Schue's lips and braced herself.

'One word guys,' the New Directions coach said, clapping his hands together. 'Madonna.'

'Hall of fame MILF,' Puck hollered and Rachel elbowed him playfully in the ribs.

'Excuse me Mr Schue. Kurt and Mercedes aren't-'

'Sorry we're late!' Kurt interrupted Rachel, tossing his scarf behind him as he strolled in with Mercedes.

_That's strange. Why were neither of them meeting her eye?_

'Since Coach Sylvester's decided to make sure none of us can walk around without hearing Madonna,' Mr Schue said with a slight bite to his words. 'I thought we could at least utilize Sue's…unorthodox teaching methods to our advantage. I've noticed you guys have been a bit…distant with each other lately and maybe this way we can all come together-'

'No offence Mr Schue, but I just don't see how Madonna translates to show choir,' Mike chirped up.

'Madonna scares me,' Finn added.

'Look guys culturally, Madonna's legacy transcends her music because by and large the subtext of her songs are about being strong, independent and confident no matter what your sex. She uses music to take control of herself, to show that she has power over her herself,' Mr Schue said.

'Madonna's a chick,' Puck spoke up.

'Well done Puckerman,' Santana remarked sarcastically.

'Just spend the rest of glee coming up with something we can use at Regionals, okay?' Mr Schue cut in, shaking his head.

While Puck tightened his grip on her shoulder, Rachel wondered why Kurt and Mercedes still refused to meet her gaze.


	66. Chapter 66

**a/n: this thing is getting wrapped up in about 10 or less chapters. Sorry guys. As much as I want to go deeper, this thing is starting to drain me. But I will be doing a sequel so don't worry your pretty little heads!**

'_Really Noah, you're being quite ridiculous,' Rachel sighed, brushing her hair off her face. _

'_Babe, St Jerk is pretty much eye humping you,' Puck bit back, reclined on Rachel's bed. After Kurt and Mercedes had unveiled themselves as Cheerios, his girlfriend had wanted to get the hell out of dodge with nary a word. Puck had expected some kind of full on rant but Rachel had simply told him that perhaps they were seeking another way to let themselves shine. She had then started talking about stars and metaphors, and hadn't stopped until he had pressed his lips against hers._

'_You know that you have nothing to worry about, don't you? I take my relationships very seriously and I'm a full believer in monogamy,' Rachel answered, slipping out of her chair and perching beside him on the bed. He felt her hand brush against his knee and resisted the urge to grasp her fingers between his own._

'_Like that fairy could take you away from Puckzilla,' Puck said with a smirk, eliciting a light-hearted giggle from Rachel. Puck this time didn't resist the urge to smile and also didn't bother giving into the temptation to pull Rachel closer to him. She landed awkwardly onto his chest, hair tickling his face. _

'_Hey,' he said softly._

'_Hello,' she replied, her voice low as well. Rachel seemed to hesitate before closing the gap between them, her lips gently pushing against his own. It was sweet, chaste. Much like Rachel herself. Her weight settled as she shifted, her knees on either side of him. Puck dragged his hand up her calf and felt Rachel arch into him, her hips meeting his. He licked her top lip, traced a line in that space between teeth and lip, before sliding into her mouth. Rachel matched him, at one point sucking on his tongue and humming at the same time._

'_Fuck Rach,' he groaned, his fingers dancing just below the curve of her ass._

'_I'll show you just how much you mean to me tomorrow,' he thought he heard her say but everything was lost as soon as she brushed her center against the front of his jeans. Already at half-mast, his erection filled his boxers uncomfortably. Grasping her waist Puck leaned up on his elbows and brought her down firmly against his member, the breathy moan Rachel made making him want to pat himself on the shoulder._

'_Noah…'_

_God, he loved it when she said his name like that._

'-and I sincerely think that this piece will showcase not only our strength vocally as a group, but also serve as a message for things that I cannot express in words to Noah,' Rachel's voice pulled him out of his thoughts. Puck blinked and nonchalantly grabbed the binder Rachel had left in her seat, breathing in and out slowly to bring himself under control. Rachel was smiling at him as Mike snickered knowingly, and Puck made sure to swing his arm violently outwards towards the dancer when he gave Rachel back her folder later.

'I'm hoping that you'll join me in the appropriate parts Noah?' Rachel questioned and Puck found himself nodding before he could even comprehend.

'Pussy whipped,' someone that sounded suspiciously like Jose coughed into his hand. Fuck these losers. None of them had the best fucking chick in this school.

_Maybe in the world._

Puck pushed the thought violently aside, swallowed.

The opening strains of a Madonna song filled the room and Rachel opened her mouth when the beat arrived.

**[Rachel]**

**I made it through the wilderness****  
****Somehow I made it through**

Puck stood up and let his voice meld together with hers.

**[Puck and Rachel]****  
****I didn't know how lost I was****  
****Until I found you**

**I was beat incomplete****  
****I'd been had, I was sad and blue****  
****But you made me feel****  
****Yeah, you made me feel****  
****Shiny and new**

**Like a virgin****  
****Touched for the very first time****  
****Like a virgin****  
****When your heart beats ****  
****Next to mine**

No one noticed Quinn start singing under her breath, or the way Jose looked at the blonde as he belted out the words.

**[Quinn]**

**Gonna give you all my love, boy****  
****My fear is fading fast**

**[Quinn and Jose]****  
****Been saving it all for you****  
****'Cause only love can last******

**You're so fine and you're mine****  
****Make me strong, yeah you make me bold**

**[Quinn, Jose, Rachel, Puck]****  
****Oh your love thawed out****  
****Yeah, your love thawed out****  
****What was getting cold******

**Like a virgin (hey)****  
****Touched for the very first time (yeah yeah)****  
****Like a virgin****  
****When your heart beats ****  
****Next to mine**

Santana didn't know why she was looking at Finn when she joined in, couldn't comprehend why something inside of her loosened when Finn accompanied her. But that something hardened up again when he glanced at Quinn.

**Oooh (whoah)****  
****oooh, (whoah whoah)****  
****oooh (yah yeah yeah)****  
****(whoah whoah)****  
**

**[Santana]  
****You're so fine and you're mine**

**[Santana, Finn]****  
****I'll be yours 'till the end of time****  
****'Cause you made me feel****  
****Yeah, you made me feel****  
****I've nothing to hide****  
**

**[Everyone, (Santana)]  
****Like a virgin , hey ****  
****(you make me feel like a virgin)****  
****Touched for the very first time ****  
****(Ohhh baby)****  
****Like a virgin****  
****When your heart beats ****  
****Next to mine******

**Like a virgin, ooh, ooh****  
****Like a virgin (yeahh)****  
****Feels so good inside**

**[Rachel, Puck]****  
****When you hold me (when you hold me)****  
****When your heart beats (when your heart beats)****  
****When you love me (when you love me baby)****  
**

**[Everyone]  
****Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh (yeah)****  
****Ooh, baby****  
****ohh****  
****Like a virgin ****  
**

Rachel felt Puck's eyes on her face, reached out to entwine their fingers together.

'Thanks,' she heard him whisper into her ear.

'Get a room,' Santana said and Puck scowled slightly. Rachel gave him a half-smile and didn't launch into a lecture on inappropriate displays of affection when he kissed her in front of the rest of the glee club. The cat calls and gagging sounds all washed away and for just a moment it was the two of them, nothing _but _the two of them.

Rachel felt part of her seize up in fear at what she was feeling because she was just sixteen, still young and very much naïve.

But then Puck tilted her head to give himself better access despite Mr Schue's calls for them to break it up, and Rachel Berry gave herself fully to the boy across from her.

She could think later.


	67. Chapter 67

Rachel wasn't quite sure what to do. For the past few weeks everything had been, well, _normal_. She stole kisses and touches with Puck whenever she could. She hovered around Quinn and made sure that she took her pre-natal vitamins on time. She clucked her tongue whenever Jose took a pen and scratched the inside of his cast. She kept a careful eye on Jesse, who appeared to have eased off the staring and seemed to be focused on learning the choreography and sheet music for Regionals.

It was almost too normal and that's what set her on edge.

Which was why she was almost thankful when she found Puck seated in the bleachers, eyes staring straight ahead at the empty football field. Quinn had taken her aside a few minutes ago and told her what had transpired the night before at the Puckerman household. Rachel had quietly and subtly encouraged Puck to fill his mother in and her boyfriend had finally relented. While Rachel had wanted to be there for both Quinn and him, she knew that this first meeting was something that the mismatched duo needed to do themselves. Apparently it had gone as well as could be expected, considering that Quinn had broached the topic of adoption again.

'Noah?' Rachel said softly. Puck let out a heavy sigh and turned his face towards her for a moment before looking away. Picking her way carefully through the uneven surface, Rachel settled herself down next to Puck.

'Mary Magdalene filled you in huh?' Puck asked bitterly, clenching his fists. It was on the tip of her tongue to remind him that she had waited by her phone all night, expecting him to call. She had even left her window unlatched just in case he decided that he needed more tactile reassurance. Instead Puck had simply sent her a text saying that he wouldn't be able to pick her up this morning, and then had seemingly disappeared from the hallways when she had tried looking for him.

'You know she's only-'

'_Don't _tell me its okay for me to give my baby girl up Berry. Fabray and my own mother tried to cram that down my throat, saying how it was the _responsible _thing to do,' he spat out the word like it was poison. 'I'm not giving up because everyone thinks its too fucking hard to even try.'

Rachel chewed her lip as she took in the pinched, angry expression on Puck's face. Quinn's face had been resigned, hurt and frustrated all at once when she had relayed her version of the story. With Quinn she saw a teenage girl thrust into a situation she was barely ready for, her parents leaving her at sea to chart her own course when she needed them to be her anchor. Puck, on the other hand, Rachel still wasn't quite sure. Perhaps the baby offered him a path towards redemption, a person who would transform him into a version of himself that would finally be comfortable in his own skin. Either way, both Quinn and Puck loved the baby already, and Rachel swallowed past the lump in her throat at the thought.

_You want me to share shit with you? Tell me yours, and I'll tell you mine._

Jose's words filtered through her head as Rachel toed the weathered concrete floor. Clearing her throat Rachel played with the hem of her skirt, hoping that what she was about to say would be worth the exposure.

'I didn't have the most conventional childhood. Of course there was the usual – and still persistent – reminders that I was the product of two homosexual males, but people often forget that my fathers hired a surrogate.'

Puck watched her out of the corner of his eye as she spoke.

'I've always wondered who she was…who she is. There are some things a teenage girl can only share with her mother, you understand.'

'Don't you hate her for giving you up?' Puck interrupted, voice low and rough.

Rachel contemplated this, turning the question over in her head.

'I don't hate her for giving me to two parents who have never done anything but love me,' she finally admitted quietly. 'But I'd be lying if I said I never spared a thought about why she hasn't sought me out, wonder about how I am.'

'Yeah,' Puck agreed and Rachel knew what he was thinking, reaching over to curl her fingers over his hand. She took a moment to enjoy the rough catch of his skin under her fingers, allowing herself to smile internally when she felt his muscles uncoil under her touch. Sometimes it was hard to forget how frangible he was.

'I know you don't want to hear me say this, but you're giving her a better life. Both her and for yourselves. As much as I admire the fact that you're willing to go to such lengths to keep your daughter, Noah, you have to acknowledge that you aren't capable-'

Puck snatched his hand away from her abruptly, pushing away from her forcefully as he got to his feet.

'Are you saying that I'm some kind of loser? Huh? Is that it?'

'No,' Rachel countered quickly. 'That's not what I'm saying at all!'

'You think I can't give my baby girl what she needs? Your mother may have been able to hand you over to two gay dudes without a second thought, but I sure as hell can't do that. My daughter is going to know that I fucking love her. Not that I was some kind of deadbeat who didn't have the balls to tough it out,' Puck hissed and Rachel reminded herself that he was just lashing out, that this was his natural response when provoked.

_Your mother…without a second thought…_

Was that what her mother had done? All evidence pointed to the truth of Puck's summation of her relationship with her birth mother. Rachel didn't even know who she was, to be honest. She had remained an abstract ideal painted in with childish fantasies. Rachel had always imagined that they had the same face, the same chocolate-coloured hair. That one look at the woman would trigger something inside her that would tell _she's my Mum_.

Still, it didn't stop the small spurt of anger from bubbling up inside of her.

'My mother may not have wanted me enough to keep my Noah,' she started, trying to keep her hurt out of her voice, 'but perhaps you should consider that giving your daughter to people who will love her just as much as my parents do will be enough to assuage her doubts that you didn't have the adequate amount of _cojones_.'

'Rachel-'

She stepped away from his searching hand, flashed him a smile that she dredged up from the same place she accessed whenever someone threw a slushie in her face.

'If I had a mother who wanted to keep me as much as you did, I don't think I could ever hate her,' Rachel remarked, the thickness of her voice belying her attempt at levity. 'I'll see you later Noah.'

Walking away, she pretended that it didn't make her chest squeeze when Puck didn't call out her name. Then again, maybe it was best that she wasn't around him right now.

_Your mother may have been able to hand you over…_

_No. Stop it. He wasn't thinking._

_That isn't an excuse._

_Noah's hurt and angry. Wouldn't I be as well, in his situation?_

'Rachel?' Jesse's enquiring voice shook her from her thoughts. Rachel blinked and cast her gaze around, realizing that she was almost halfway to her next class following lunch.

'Jesse. Hello,' she answered, hoping her voice sounded as chipper as she wanted it to be. Jesse furrowed his brow, giving her a searching look, before speaking.

'Are you alright?'

'I'm fine,' Rachel felt the lie roll off her tongue with ease. 'Well, its getting late. Tardiness isn't a virtue.'

Jesse inclined his head, stepping off to the side to let her pass.

'Thank you,' she said, this time sincerely.

Jesse watched Rachel walk away, shoulders hunched over defensively. Sighing he recalled the conversation he had overhead a few minutes ago between Rachel and Puck, the petite girl's words feeling like a stone around his neck.

_What do I do now?_

'You wear broody very well. Almost as good as Stefan Salvatore,' Kurt remarked from behind him. Jesse twisted around, the sight of the hesitant smile on the other boy lifting some of the weight. Ever since that day at the auditorium three weeks ago, McKinley seemed less of an irritation than he thought it would be.

Giving in to the same urge that had overcome him on the wooden stage, the harsh glare of the spotlight dipping into the confused and shy contours of Kurt Hummel's face, Jesse leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss onto Kurt's lips.

'Not that I mind, but what was that for?'

'I just felt like it,' Jesse replied simply.

'Oh,' Kurt arched an eyebrow before relaxing. 'At least you made sure there was no one around.'

'Of course. I remember what you said about no one finding out about us,' Jesse shot back, not bothering to hide the small bite of irritation. Before Kurt's rules hadn't seemed to matter much. But now they did.

Jesse wasn't quite sure what to make of that.

Kurt gave him an off look before shrugging, pulling at his fingers to tug him forward. Jesse threaded his own through Kurt's, relishing in the touch, wondering whether Kurt would still want to hold his hand if he knew the real reason Jesse had been sent to McKinley.

**a/n: I'M BACK! So sorry for the very late update! For those that care, real life in the form of making sure I graduate from Law school took precedence this past month. But now I'm back and ready to get this show on the road!**

**In any case follow me on Twitter everyone! To share in the Puckleberry, and also because I want more followers/people to follow who aren't non-funny celebrities. My twitter name is aswordsworth, as is my LJ account.**


	68. Chapter 68

Puck sat on the edge of his bed, two manila folders on the floor Quinn had pushed into his hands last night. They were slim, holding a few pieces of paper. Names, dates, occupations – cold, hard data that one needed to make a decision that was best for someone who would always remain impersonal to him.

His mouth went dry at the thought, the harsh reality of it making his breath hitch if only for a second.

'Fuck,' he murmured, dragging a hand down his face. He could hear his mother and sister downstairs in the living room.

Abigail Puckerman had been more forgiving then he thought she would be. He had knocked up a Catholic girl, a _teenage _Catholic girl no less. His mother hadn't come out and said what a disappointment he was, but he could feel it under the weight of her stare. Even when she wasn't looking, when she said something as mundane as _pass the broccoli_, Puck swore his mother saw his father whenever she looked at him.

_And then you go be a complete jackass to your girlfriend, who seems to be the only one that believes in your worthless ass. Real winner, aren't ya Puckerman?_

Stealing a quick glance at the clock, Puck snatched the two folders off the floor and snagged his keys off the nightstand.

'Hey Ma, I'm going over to Rachel's alright?' Puck called out, pulling on his coat.

'Alright. But be back before eleven. It's still a school night,' his mother replied evenly, stroking his little sister's hair. Puck allowed himself a small smile at the delicate features of Natalie, the peaceful set of her face a welcome sight.

'S'good Ma. I will,' he promised.

Ten minutes later he shifted his truck into park outside the Berry household. The front porch was illuminated by the soft glow coming from the living room, and Puck swallowed when he caught sight of two large shadows seated in front of the television.

_Shit. Her dads came home early._

Steeling himself, and hoping Rachel was willing to talk to him, Puck rapped his knuckles against the door. He felt the manila folders wilt under his tight grip when the door swung open to reveal a tall, dark-skinned man.

'Good evening Sir. I was wondering if I could speak to Rachel?' Puck asked stiffly as the other man's gaze flicked over his mohawk. 'I'm a…friend of Rachel's from school. Noah Puckerman.'

'Abigail's son,' Rachel's father replied in a way that sounded neither good or bad. 'Hold on. I'll just see if my daughter is feeling up to visitors-'

'Daddy? Who is it?' Rachel's voice sounded from behind and Puck felt her eyes slam into his when their gaze met. 'Oh. Noah.'

'Hey,' Puck replied. 'Can we talk?'

'Sweetie?'

'No its alright Daddy. Let him in,' Rachel answered, giving Daddy's arm a squeeze. Daddy frowned before stepping aside to let Puck through, who dutifully took his shoes off and hung his jacket on the peg.

'Thank you Sir,' Puck told the older man, who raised his eyebrows at Puck's familiarity.

'Just keep the door open,' was his reply. Puck nodded, resisting the urge to follow the curve of Rachel's bottom as it came into his line of sight as they were climbing the stairs.

He saw what looked like a heavy wooden chest lying open on Rachel's bed, a few pictures scattered on the duvet. Rachel brushed past him and began gathering up whatever was lying around beside it, carefully placing them back inside. It was on the tip of his tongue to ask her what the box was, what it signified. But the question died when he noticed the almost reticent way Rachel refused to meet his eyes. The silence felt awkward and Puck shuffled his feet, fingers dancing along the edge of what was in his hands.

'I'm a dick,' he finally blurted out, wincing when Rachel looked up, startled.

'I shouldn't have said that shit to you today. It was a douche move and considering you're the only one who hasn't even mentioned the words Lima Loser to me before…'

Rachel heaved out a sight, gently locking the wooden box and placing it under her bed. Sitting down, she patted the spot next to her which Puck obediently followed.

'I can't deny that what you said today hurt. My mother has always been a…delicate subject for me and while I understand you were feeling overwhelmed by events-'

'Hey,' Puck murmured, cutting her off by tracing the line of her jaw. Her skin felt like smooth cotton under his calloused fingers and he admired the way her brown hair curled free and easy over her shoulders. 'I'm sorry okay? Like legit, for reals sorry.' Puck made sure to look into her eyes, to make her see how serious he was.

Rachel nodded wordlessly, allowing his stare to linger a beat more before clearing her throat and tearing her eyes away. Puck desperately wanted to trace her lips with his tongue, delve insider her mouth and taste her. But the low laughter flowing up the stairs made him grasp her fingers instead, pulling her closer. Rachel remained stiff and Puck tugged more insistently until he felt her muscles relaxing into him.

'What are those?' She asked softly. Puck all but shoved the folders into her hands wordlessly, focusing on the sweep of her neck as Rachel opened the documents.

'These are profiles for…' Rachel trailed off.

'Yeah. Q gave 'em to me last night in front of Ma,' Puck managed tightly.

'Have you looked at them?'

'Yes,' his answer was terse.

'What did you think?' Her words seemed like a whisper but they roared in his ears.

Gently disentangling himself from her, Puck jumped to his feet and began pacing.

'Their both fucking perfect, okay? It's like Barbie and Ken with their fuckin' amazing dreamhouse, dog maybe included. They have 9 to 5 jobs, one of those 401K things and their just…_perfect_. I keep my baby girl with me and she'll get a beat up truck. With them she can get a Rolls or Beamer or some luxury shit that I'll never be able to afford,' Puck spat out, gripping the nape of his neck.

'And it fuckin' _sucks_, knowing that I'll never be able to give her what these guys can give her. Yeah I can love her for-_fuckin_-ever, but I'll be working two or three deadbeat jobs to keep us alive. And she'll grow up wondering where I am, just like she would if she was with them…' Puck heard his voice crack and felt himself get vaguely horrified at this display of weakness. He was staring at his feet, eyes burning, when he felt Rachel's small hands close over his own.

'I really want to keep her Rach,' he said hoarsely. 'I want to watch her grow up and tell everyone how fuckin' proud I am that she's a Puckerman.'

'I know,' Rachel replied, voice soothing like a balm. 'I know you do.'

Puck felt his throat close up and instead gathered Rachel into his arms. The feel of her pressed against him was like a warm fire, and he buried his face into her hair.

Rachel smoothed her hands down his back, the folders forgotten on the bed. She tipped her toes, resting her head into the crook of his shoulder.

'Let's lie down, okay?' She asked and felt Puck haul her tighter against him before placing them both on the bed. He shuffled down, laying his head against the smooth skin of her chest. One of his hands snaked over her stomach to grab her own, their fingers intertwining. Humming under her breath, Rachel stroked the strip of hair running over Puck's head.

_**When you call my name**_

_**It's like a little prayer**_

_**I'm down on my knees**_

_**I want to take you there**_

_**In the midnight hour**_

_**I can feel your power**_

_**Just like a prayer**_

_**You know I'll take you there**_

Her eyes drifted shut, her breathing matching Puck's own.

An hour later, Leroy Berry stood at the door of Rachel's room. His husband stood next to him, sighing and placing a hand over his heart.

'Aren't they adorable?'

'The boy's got a mohawk baby,' Leroy stated.

'Leave them be. You heard what the boy's been going through. I'll call Abigail. My little star, all grown up,' Hiram said, twirling his hand around in the air.

'I'm still leaving the door open. To _both _our rooms,' Leroy retorted before following Hiram, glancing over his shoulder one last time to see Puck pull Rachel tighter against him, his daughter smiling in her sleep.

**a/n: i got the Berrys names off a story. I have no idea who or which - but I fully credit you. Song is 'Like a Prayer' by Madonna.**


	69. Chapter 69

'Sup MILF?' Puck said, heartened when Quinn rolled her eyes at him. The words sounded tired, even to him, but the manila folder clasped in his hands felt like a rock. 'Chocolate Thunder home?'

'No, Mercedes isn't home,' Quinn answered, shifting heavily so that Puck could walk inside. 'She went out with her parents to church.'

'Huh,' was all Puck could say, remembering Quinn's strong connection to her religion. The blonde didn't meet his eyes, instead waddling towards the kitchen.

'You want something to drink?'

'Nah, I'm good. You want _me _to get you anything? Or carry you anywhere?'

'Shut it Puckerman,' Quinn bit out, settling herself onto a squashy armchair that had been dragged up to the dining table. Puck followed suit, putting himself directly across from the teenage girl. The folder rested in his lap, unnoticed.

'You…doing okay?' He asked awkwardly, remembering the glassy expression on Quinn's face when she had told him she was moving in with Mercedes. Puck understood her position, especially considering the Artic front coming off of Finn, but he couldn't help but want to plant a fist somewhere when he realized Quinn hadn't even _asked _if she could set up shop at his place. The words _Lima Loser _flashed bright behind his eyes and he forced himself to swallow down the bitterness threatening to fill his mouth.

'Mercedes and her family have been great. Nice,' Quinn allowed him, before pressing her lips tightly together. 'Not that this isn't a nice surprise, but I thought you'd be shacked up with Berry today.'

Puck let out a nervous chuckle, remembering the way both her fathers had looked at him the morning after. Rachel had filled the tense silence with incessant chatter, the shorter one – Hiram – trying to draw his husband's stare away from the teenage boy who had so obviously defiled their innocent daughter. His mother had looked thrilled though, Puck thought wryly, despite the fact he had broken curfew. Apparently scoring a Jewish girlfriend earned him extra brownie points.

Without a word he placed the folder onto the table and pushed it towards Quinn, whose blue eyes widened almost comically.

'Is that…'

Puck hummed an agreement in the back of his throat, eyes starting to burn when he caught sight of the smiling couple attached to the top of the Allen County Children Services letterhead.

'I picked them too,' Quinn breathed out, looking down into the face of Mr and Mrs Fernandez. A schoolteacher and a financial accountant, Puck mused. Not the most badass but there was something about the way they looked that made him set them apart.

'I…I don't want…'

'Yeah I know,' Puck cut her off, running a hand down his head. 'But Rachel was right you know? Maybe one day she won't hate me because she'll know I loved her enough to give her something better than I ever could.'

Quinn didn't comment on how choked up his voice was, for which Puck was grateful.

'I'm glad you have her. Rachel I mean,' Quinn added when he flashed her a questioning look. 'She's…not what I expected but when I see the way you look at her…'

Puck kept his mouth shut, guilt creeping into his gut.

'I used to look at Finn the same way.'

Her statement landed like a punch to the gut.

'You used to look at me the same way too,' Quinn finished with a tired smile.

'Q-'

Quinn raised a hand and Puck stopped.

'It's alright Puck. I just…I just wanted you to know that I'm happy for you two. Even if I want to cram a bottle of vitamins down Rachel's throat when she starts lecturing me again.'

This elicited a chuckle from Puck, who could picture his girlfriend with her hands fisted at her hips, a finger wagging in front of Quinn's face as she read off detailed reasons why the petite brunette was right.

'I told her I would have tortured her if it was the other way round. I'm really glad she isn't the same way.'

'She's something alright,' Puck replied with a soft smile pulling at his face. He didn't see the way Quinn's eyes pinched at the sides, as if she had lost something that has always been there for her.

'Do you…want to come see the caseworker with me? Mercedes has been coming with me but I thought you'd want to see them for yourselves.'

_Don't get mad she decided this without you._

'Sure. Hit me up with the details and I'll be there,' Puck said quietly, climbing to his feet. He smirked when Quinn struggled slightly doing the same, laughing when she slapped the hand he stretched out to help her out.

'I'm not an invalid,' she snapped at him.

'Fuck Fabray. With those hormones, I'm pretty sure we can call you a warhead.'

'You don't have a baby pressing down on your bladder and a basketball coming out of your stomach,' Quinn retorted, raising her chin. She stopped suddenly, hands flying to her belly.

'What? What is it? Are you okay? Is the baby okay?' Puck bit out, bending over and face upturned towards Quinn, whose face had lit up like the fourth of July. Grabbing his hand, she placed it over her swollen stomach and Puck opened his mouth, stopped when he felt something flutter against his palm.

'Was that…'

'She moved,' Quinn breathed. 'She moved!'

'Fuck yeah. Did you feel that? My girl's gonna grow up and become an awesome footballer!'

'Or dancer.'

'She's a Puckerman. She's gonna be a badass.'

'Dancing is-'

'You watch. I'm going to take her to her first Little League game and watch her sack the hell out of all those pansies,' Puck said. His grin dimmed when he caught sight of the open folder over Quinn's shoulder, let his arm fall away reluctantly.

_Don't get too attached. She's yours now, but she won't be soon._

**A little girl laughing up at Edgar Fernandez as they toss a pigskin, smiling as Marie Fernandez hands her a cookie.**

**A small girl with thick hair and hazel eyes wrinkling her nose as Rachel rinses the shampoo off her hair, Puck squeezing the purple rubber duck Brittany had given their daughter for her first birthday.**

The last image shook him, made him scramble backwards slightly.

_What the in the fuck was that?_

'Puck?' Quinn asked worriedly.

'I've…Give me a call if you need anything,' Puck barked out hoarsely, not stopping to see if Quinn had taken his sudden retreat as a slight.

He stumbled into his truck, hands grasping the steering wheel as he rested his forehead against the ridge.

A kid? With _Rachel Berry_? Sure, Puck _liked _her. He like _cared _for her the way high school boys cared for high school girls. But having children who were half-Puckerman, half-Berry?

_You want that, don't you?_

_No. I'm seventeen. If this shitstorm has taught me anything, is that I'm not ready to have offspring._

_Wow. Big word. Word of the day calendar?_

_Shut the fuck up._

_I'm you asshole. Can't really do that, can I?_

Shit, he was actually arguing with himself. He remembered Rachel mentioning briefly once that he had two sides to him – Puck and Noah – and wondered why both seemed to only agree on one thing. Or one person.

Starting the engine, he flicked a quick look at the clock on his dash. He was supposed to meet Rachel today to finish off homework. Tipping his head back, Puck grabbed his cell and punched in a number.

'Yo Chang. You wanna shoot some hoops? What? I don't sound _weird_. Fuck you right in the ear. See you at the park in twenty.'

Puck breathed out slowly, tossing his phone carelessly aside.

_I see the way you look at her…_

Quinn Fabray always had a way with screwing with his head, didn't she?

His phone chimed with a text.

**Noah, please be sure to remember to actually bring whatever schoolwork you are required to complete this time. My fathers are home. See you at precisely four o'clock! ***

'Shit,' Puck flinched, remembering the way Leroy Berry had made it a point to remind Puck he had been a lettered, all-star college quarterback.

Shifting his truck into drive, Puck caught a glimpse of Quinn at the window.

_You used to look at me that way._

Looking at Rachel later, in her high-necked sweater dress that came down to her knees and with Hiram smiling widely at him, Puck was glad he didn't look at Quinn the same way Finn did.

For one, he doesn't notice anyone else when he looks at her.

**a/n: I'm baaaack! Sorry for the late update. Flood + craziness + work = no time. Lacings of Puckleberry but don't worry, I have shippery goodness planned for the next one. So please review and let me know how much you've missed this! **

**Also look out for my Puckleberry remix of Season 2. While I adore Lauren, Puck belongs with Rachel and the path was made clear, only for us to be stiffed again. Any votes for that idea?**


	70. Chapter 70

Rachel stared, somewhat horrified, at the list plastered prominently on her locker door. Her brow furrowed as she took in the names and numbers alongside them, her hand reaching up to try and gently remove the paper from the metal door.

'What the hell is that?' Puck's voice sounded from behind her and Rachel felt him lean against her, his chest pressing against her shoulder. 'The fuck? Why am I _second_?'

'I'm second from the bottom,' Rachel pointed out wryly as Puck snatched the list out of her hands. 'It seems someone has ranked the sexual promiscuity of all the members of the glee club.'

'Like a Glist?' Puck murmured. Rachel waited patiently for him to reassure her that she was far more attractive than Santana but her boyfriend seemed to be preoccupied with _his _position on the glist. Which brought up another kettle of worms Rachel wasn't quite ready to address.

_His sexual prowess is well documented Rachel. You knew that before this relationship began._

Seeing the names at the top and bottom of the list, Rachel already knew what glee rehearsal was going to be like. She was proved right, of course, when Mr Schue demanded to know who had written it only for the club to devolve into another round of pointless finger-pointing and name calling.

'We all know it was Puckerman,' Santana remarked, flicking her ponytail over her shoulder. 'Thanks for acknowledging how much of a freak I am in bed baby.'

Rachel tried to let the comment slide off her shoulders, instead allowing herself to be indignant on Puck's behalf.

'Noah had no part in this…_thing_,' Rachel spoke up.

'Please if it was anyone, it was definitely Santana. She's first on the list and I'm last,' Quinn chipped in, rolling her eyes as the Latina glared her way.

'Guys this is serious. Figgins is threatening to shut us down if the person who wrote this doesn't own up,' the New Directions chair interrupted, waving the Glist around as if it were a nuclear warhead. There was a pause before Mr Schue asked Puck if it really wasn't him.

'If I wrote that list, the hell would I put my smokin' hot Jewish Princess at the _bottom _and Senorita Loca at the top? I might be a badass Mr Schue, but I ain't a liar and I ain't stupid,' Puck defended himself, the arm slung across the back of Rachel's chair tightening. Rachel narrowed her eyes in agreement, folding her arms across her chest. Finn mumbled something intelligible that had Brittany shooting him a look.

Rachel wasn't sure why she was surprised when Mr Schuester made this into another one of his inane projects, telling them to rework songs with bad reputations and give them something good. Jesse, she noticed, didn't look too impressed either. In fact when she took another glance at the Glist, Rachel failed to find Jesse's name on it at all. Kurt and Mercedes, along with Artie and Tina, weren't there either. A seed of suspicion took root in her mind.

'What's with the face?' Puck whispered into her ear.

'What face? I don't have a face Noah,' Rachel replied automatically, chewing her bottom lip. Surprisingly Puck let the subject drop, his fingers caressing her shoulder absently when Mr Schue launched into his rendition of _Ice Ice Baby._

'Hey, I just need to speak with Q before we go,' Puck touched her elbow. Rachel nodded, told him she would meet him at his truck. She pushed aside the way her heart clenched when Quinn gave Puck a soft smile, made her way over towards Kurt. Jose waved to her as he hobbled beside Matt and Rachel mimed a phone to her ear before she reached her destination.

'Kurt, could I speak with you for a moment?' Rachel enquired casually, Jesse just behind the new Cheerios shoulder. 'In _private_?'

She didn't wait for a response, grabbing Kurt's bicep and all but hauling him a good distance away from the former Vocal Adrenaline lead.

'_What _Rachel? You better hope your surprisingly strong grip hasn't bruised this porcelain skin in any way-'

'Jesse wrote the Glist,' she cut him off, leaning in as she whispered the words harshly. Kurt blinked, cut his gaze back and forth between Rachel and a nonchalant Jesse.

'Diva Bee, it _was _probably Santana-'

'Kurt, all signs point to it being Jesse. If Santana did in fact write this idiocy, she wouldn't have put Quinn in at all considering the situation between the two of them-'

'You're just jumping to conclusions Rachel. Jesse hasn't done anything wrong.'

Rachel gaped up at Kurt. 'Are you serious? I seem to recall you _agreeing _with me the day Jesse made his grand arrival!'

Kurt shrugged, ran his fingers through his hair cautiously. 'Just because my opinion doesn't fit yours, doesn't mean it isn't right.'

'Kurt-'

'Look Rachel. I know you're upset because Jesse questioned your talent. _I get it_. But he really hasn't done anything to justify not extending the hand of friendship. If anyone's been set of tearing our little group apart, its Santana. I'm sure I don't have to tell you the methods she can employ, since you've experienced most of it first-hand,' Kurt told her firmly, his tone brooking no argument. Rachel took a small step back at his words, feeling as if she had missed something.

'Alright,' she finally mumbled, casting her eyes downward in thought when Kurt patted her shoulder goodbye. She watched as Kurt struck up what looked like a friendly, cordial conversation with Jesse, the pair of them walking out as if they weren't mortal enemies. The frown that pulled at her features grew heavier when she saw Puck help Quinn up into his truck.

_You should be grateful that things are better between them. This is what Noah wants – to be close to his child._

_To be closer to Quinn you mean_, a voice smirked at the back of her head.

'Hello Quinn,' Rachel greeted the blonde kindly, plastering on a bright smile. Quinn arched an eyebrow at Puck as Rachel hoisted herself up, arranging her skirt neatly after she had shut the door.

'Sup with Hummel?' Puck gestured towards their friend, who was waving at Jesse as he got into his SUV.

'Nothing,' Rachel answered, glancing out the window. There was a beat of silence before Puck thankfully started the engine, the asphalt blurring as the truck lurched into motion. Rachel overturned the conversation with Kurt in her head.

'-that Glist is completely fucked. As _if _I would be second. So far as I'm concerned I should be number _wah_,' Puck's voice rang loud in her ears. 'I mean do you _know _how much tail I scored?'

'No, Noah. Please why don't you inform us of the number?' Rachel bit back frostily, her fingers digging into the tops of her thigh. She didn't know why she was so angry. Puck was with _her _now. _Exclusively_. What had happened in the past didn't matter.

'Okay for reals Rach. What the fuck happened between you and Beyonce?' Puck shot back.

'_Nothing_.'

'Then why are you being such a bitch to me for?' The insult cut deep into her skin and Rachel was thankful to see her house coming up.

_He didn't mean it that way._

'Puck!' Quinn chastised, seeming to pick up on Rachel's mood. 'Stop it.'

As soon as the truck pulled to a stop Rachel opened the door swiftly, bade both Quinn and Puck a quick farewell as she grabbed the trolley bag Puck had taken with him.

'Rachel-' She heard Puck call her name, heard the sound of his own door being thrust open.

'_Goodbye _Noah.'

'I'm sorry okay? You know I didn't mean that the way it sounded,' Puck told her quietly, aware of Quinn staring out the windscreen intently. Rachel sighed, admitted to herself she was perhaps being a bit overdramatic.

'My…it's fine Noah. I'll speak to you later. Quinn needs to be driven home,' she said, jostling the handle of her bag up so she could drag it behind her.

'I'll swing by-'

'Brittany's coming over. Girl talk, stuff like that,' Rachel interjected, biting her lip when Puck's lips curled down slightly.

'Whatever. Call me when you're free then,' he told her gruffly, planting a scratchy kiss to her cheek. Rachel stood there as they drove off, dug her cell out of her pocket.

_Why had Kurt been so defensive?_

Pressing four on her speed dial, Rachel spoke when her friend answered.

'Brit? I need you to come over right now. I think, perhaps, that glee might be having a civil war. Yes, you're right. I'm willing to lift my restriction. This demands dairy.'


	71. Chapter 71

**a/n: oh my baby…I'm sorry for neglecting you so.**

Rachel dangled her feet over the edge of the bed, her socks almost hitting Brittany in the nose.

'Hey!' Brittany laughed, gently pushing her feet away from her face. Rachel smiled as she folded her fingers across her stomach, gazed up at the ceiling. It was littered with stars and she allowed herself to think back to the day her fathers had brought the glow in the dark stickers home, the fun they had had arranging them. She had perched herself on Leroy's shoulders while Hiram spent the entire them subtly trying to coerce them into making at least one constellation pattern.

'Your dads are nice,' Brittany remarked, bringing her back to reality.

'I'm sorry. Sometimes they get a tad overexcited whenever I bring guests home.'

'It's okay. I like pie. I like Berry chocolate pie,' Brittany sighed dreamily, licking her lips. Rachel giggled at the rapturous expression on her friend's face. The lilt of _Sweet Caroline _fills the room and they both descend into silence as Rachel allowed her cell to ring out, reached over to switch it off.

'Is everything…okay between you and Puck?' Brittany questioned, sounding exceedingly cautious. Rachel swallowed, turned her face so that she was now staring at her desk.

'Of course,' she answered, voice tight. The bed dipped and the next thing Rachel knew Brittany was frowning down at her, blonde hair pulled tightly back into a French braid.

'Did I say we were girlfriends? This is the kind of stuff we talk about,' the cheerleader reminded her, nodding her head decisively. 'So spill before I call Kurt and stage an intervention.'

Rachel sighed as Brittany settled down next to her.

'I'm just really confused,' Rachel finally admitted softly, swallowing as she said the words. 'I care for Noah deeply, sometimes so much that it frightens me. And most of the time he justifies that. But then he opens his mouth and he just _talks _and I really, _really _want to kick him in the shins. Hard.'

'Boys suck,' Brittany states firmly and Rachel covers her mouth to stifle the laugh building in the back of her throat. 'But seriously though…we haven't talked much since that thing was said…'

'You mean the fact that Quinn is having Noah's child?' Rachel tried to say nonchalantly, but failed when the bitterness inside leaked through.

'You think he's going to go back to her, don't you?'

'I don't know what I think, honestly.'

'Well you're being stupid Rachel. Puck's like been _entranced _with you for _ages_. Like whenever he's talking to you it looks like you're the only thing that matters. He does the same thing when you talk to him. That means something.'

'But this is _Quinn Fabray _Brit! Don't you understand that? What if one day he wakes up, sees Quinn's protruding belly and that glow pregnant women are said to acquire, and simply decides that I'm _not enough_?'

Brittany gaped at her before launching to her feet, her footie pajamas making no sound as she marched towards the door and slammed it shut.

'Listen up Rachel Barbara Berry, this space right now is the circle of trust. Well, there's only two of us so it's more like a _zone _but that's not important right now. I'm going to tell you the reasons why you feel like you aren't chewing rainbows.'

Rachel sighed, opened her mouth to reply but Brittany flashed her palm, signaled that she wasn't supposed to be speaking right now.

'Good. Now first of all, yes Puck had sex with Quinn. But this was like _way _before you and him were ever really a _you and him_, you know? And _yes_, he was a complete asshat for not telling you that he sperminated the Celibacy Queen from the start but he did in the end right? That should count for something considering that Quinn's had him by the balls since day one.'

I know you have this thing where you think Quinn's this big, shining holy light who sucks everyone in with her virginal charm. Puck fell for it. But now he wants you. He wants your knee socks, big voice and even bigger dreams. He makes you less crazy and you make him less of a jerk. Like the Avatar, you guys balance each other out. Actually it's more like Prince Zuko because I can totally see Puck in flames and you're kinda like Katara because you like mothering people and drinking water.'

Honestly you've got Puck wrapped around your fine-boned fingers and things are a little whack right now. I mean, you didn't think you'd start this Puckleberry thing and get pulled into a serialized teenage drama where pregnancy is used as some kind of special ed message. Except unlike those lame shows, Puck and you are gonna last the distance. Because you don't have writers who want to break you up to "prolong the tension". No you guys are adorable and I believe in you, the same way I believe in unicorns!' Brittany finished, heaving in a deep breath as she settled her hands on her hips. A second later her fingers popped up, snapping together.

'Also don't worry about anything Santana says. Her and Puck are _totally _over. She just says stuff like that because she's…you know…Santana. And Puck would have totes put you at the top of the list with a gold star next to it because you get an A in everything. And also because stars are metaphors and metaphors are important, right?' Brittany nodded and Rachel couldn't help reciprocating the gesture. She bowed her head, chewed her bottom lip.

'Thanks Brit,' she finally said, giving her friend a watery smile. Brittany rolled her eyes before tackling her to the bed, pulling Rachel into a tight hug.

'Now you called about a civil war?'

'Yes,' Rachel replied, clearing her throat and wiggling a little to get a bit of breathing room. 'Who do _you _think wrote the list?'

'Well…' Brittany dragged out. 'At first I thought it actually was Quinn because putting herself at the bottom throws off the guilt. But now I'm thinking maybe not. Face it, I doubt Quinn's got the time to develop some kind of mathematical formula working out for sexy we are, and she wouldn't have ranked San first.'

'I think its Jesse,' Rachel admitted, whispering. 'I told Kurt my suspicions and he remarked that I was simply tarring Jesse with the same brush yet again.'

'It is kinda weird how he's fitting in so well. I mean, him and Kurt always spend time together in the library-'

'_What_?'

'Yeah,' Brittany leaned closer, as if telling a secret. 'They were way in the back and I was wondering around trying to see if Mr Snugglebunny would like another book to read. I mean, I'm sure reading my diary everyday is _soooo _boring.'

'I'm sure the ramblings of a teenage girl are thoroughly enjoyable. To humans.'

'So Jesse was telling Kurt how his books were overdue and for some reason Kurt went all red. So I thought he was angry because the last time I returned a book late, Mrs Giles told me I couldn't have a cookie. But then Jesse told Kurt he had been a bad boy and then used his lips to tell him that he was actually being good. Does this mean if I make out with Mike I won't have to return _Puss in Boots_?'

'Brittany, let us focus on the fact that Jesse was _kissing _Kurt, _might still be kissing Kurt_, and you didn't share this piece of information with me!'

'I thought you knew!' Brittany retorted defensively. 'You told me you had _ESPN_!'

'Okay calm down,' Rachel darted to her feet, folded her hands behind her back as she paced the length of her room. 'Let's try and piece this together. Jesse has obviously infiltrated our borders and is now utilizing Kurt as some kind of enemy informant-'

'Maybe he really likes Kurt,' Brittany wondered. 'I think Kurt does. He let Jesse wrinkle his Marc Jacobs jacket.'

'Really?'

Brittany jerked her head in agreement, tilted her head to the side.

_Well, this just made things a bit more complicated._


	72. Chapter 72

Puck could tell Rachel was preoccupied. For one thing, the petite brunette had barely engaged him in conversation since he had picked her up this morning. Brittany, on the other hand, had bounced into his truck with a wide smile before engaging him in a serious discussion that involved her cat Mr Snugglebunny and whether letting him read _Puss In Boots _would give him any ideas.

When he had ventured to ask Rachel what was on her mind, Brittany had sent him a quelling glare that had made Puck shrink back in his seat a little bit. Pulling up to the parking lot Rachel had brushed a distracted kiss on his cheek before hurrying off towards the school, leaving him with a worried Brittany.

'Don't worry Puck. She just needs to talk to Kurt about something,' Brittany flashed him an understanding smile as she patted his arm.

'Have you seen Berry?' Puck asked Jose at lunch, who shrugged his shoulders in response.

'Last I saw she was taking off after Jesse.'

'What's wrong?' Quinn inquired from her seat beside the Latino boy, poking at the congealed macaroni on her plate with a faint air of disgust.

'Wait she went after _Jesse_?' Puck demanded after a second, the words sinking in.

'Jesse's with Kurt,' Brittany chimed in from behind, latching onto Puck's shoulder tightly when he attempted to walk away. 'It's a glee captain thing. Let Rach be.'

Against his better judgment, Puck sank down into one of the hard plastic chairs.

'Hey you want to come over this weekend and hang again?' Jose offered.

'Yeah sure man. You want me to bring anything?'

'Mario Kart!' Mike pushed in. 'This time I am _not _Princess Peach.'

'Who the fuck invited you Chang?' Puck scowled.

'I thought my invites were always implied. Just so you know Rutherford and me are a package deal,' Mike told him seriously, Matt rolling his eyes.

'Whatever. Just don't bring any alcohol. Mum's gonna be home,' Jose gave him a look and Puck grinned, remembering the effusive greeting he had gotten from Teresa once she found out he was Rachel's boyfriend _and _Abigail's oldest boy. Turns out that both their mothers sometimes ended up working the same shift at the ER, which Puck still couldn't decide was a good or bad thing.

'Since when are you two such good friends?' Mercedes asked.

'Rachel,' was all Jose said.

Puck had found himself wandering over to the Navarro household last night, after Quinn had told him he was an idiot for what he had said before dropping Rachel off. Puck winced, recalling his remarks. He had called Matt up and discovered the other boy was with Jose, which had inevitably led to an awkward first few minutes before Jose had rolled his eyes and asked Matt to give them some space.

'**Look Puckerman. I'm not gonna steal Ria away from you, aight? That girl's like a sister to me. Plus, for some reason she likes your stupid ass. So quit looking for a reason to start useless shit. We cool?'**

'**What the fuck? I didn't know we were doing the opening Act of the Vagina Monologues. Let's go blow some shit up,' Puck had murmured, catching the knowing smirk on Jose's face. **

It was only when he saw Rachel's red-rimmed eyes during Glee that Puck knew something was up. Apparently her _thing _with Kurt and Jesse had resulted in the kicker seating himself on the opposite side of the room, looking anywhere but at Rachel, while the girl herself sat hunched over in a chair _at the back_. Mr Schue had Figgins in the little supply room off the side of the choir room, a hand on his hip while the other ran through his hair.

'Why are you sitting here?' Brittany asked Kurt, sitting in front of a blank-faced Jesse, who leveled a glare at the blonde cheerleader.

'Because apparently mutual trust and respect are foreign concepts for certain people in the room,' Kurt replied and Rachel gripped her hands tighter together. Puck frowned as he sat next to Rachel, unsure of how to make her sit up straight again.

'Rachel-'

'I'm sorry Noah but I'd rather not talk at the moment,' Rachel whispered, not meeting his eyes. Puck nodded slowly, leaning back and trying not to startle when Rachel reached over to pull his arm closer to her. Something inside him preened, knowing that he was giving her some form of comfort.

Mr Schue cleared his throat and Finn nearly tripped over Santana, who smirked at the tall boy. Puck noticed her smirk wasn't as malevolent as usual.

'Mr Schuester has assured me that the list hasn't come from the Glee club itself so I will not shut you down. However children, your reputation in this school is fast diminishing. In my day the choir was wholesome and fresh. Today…well…be aware that it only takes a second to break down something that has taken years to build. My flirtation with Mumbai Airlines has taught me that. Will,' Figgins said to the New Directions chair before departing, Schue visibly deflating in relief. Puck saw the way the older man glanced at Rachel and then at Kurt and Jesse, before shaking his head.

'Practice is cancelled today guys. Just…go home and think about what Principal Figgins said. I don't need Sue starting a campaign about how my Glee club is a den of iniquity.'

Everyone filtered out of the room, Puck staying in place when Rachel refused to relinquish her grip.

'Kurt?' Rachel called out tentatively to the slender male, who practically pressed himself into the wall when Jesse walked past him.

'Not now Rachel.'

'Hummel get your-'

'_Noah_,' Rachel whispered harshly and Puck pressed his lips tight, nodding to Jose and Brittany who lingered at the door and disappeared at his gesture.

'Baby, what's wrong?'

His soft tone seemed to undo her because Rachel pressed her face into his shoulder, body gently heaving as though she was trying to suppress the sobs coming from her. Panicked Puck gently undid her hold on him and dragged her into his lap, smoothing her hair down the back of her neck and tracing a comforting line up her spine at the same time. He sat there; he wasn't sure how long, until Rachel simply clung to him, fingers plucking at the fabric of his shirt.

'Jesse wrote the glist,' Rachel finally said.

'_What_?'

She laughed humourlessly. 'Kurt and I went to confront him and he admitted it, and we didn't see Mr Schue. He heard _everything _and now Kurt thinks I deliberately set Jesse up to _spite _him!'

'Wait…what does Hummel have to do with all this?'

Rachel sat back a little, gave him a meaningful look.

'Shut the fucking door,' Puck said, everything falling into place. 'There is no way Beyonce's sleeping with the enemy!'

'I'm not sure their _sleeping _together…' Rachel trailed off, biting her lip. 'But Kurt genuinely has feelings for Jesse Noah, and I really _was _hoping Santana had written it just so…I don't know. Kurt hates me now.'

'No he doesn't. Don't be retarded.'

'Didn't you hear what he said to me just now?'

'He's just pissed off his girlfriend's, like, stabbed him in the back. You're like the last person who would want to hurt anyone.'

'I…I'm sure you harbour some resentment for me making you tell Finn,' Rachel told him softly, ducking her head back down. Puck heaved out a sigh, tilted her chin up.

'Look Rach did I want to tell Finn? Fuck yes. But after having to lie to him for so long…I knew he was gonna end up pummeling me when I did tell him. And hating me,' Puck swallowed. 'But you were right, you know? Finn's my boy and he did need to know the truth. I fucked up and I gotta accept the consequences. At least me and Quinn are kinda doing better on the baby front…'

'Yes?'

'We agreed on a couple,' he announced like it was no big deal. Rachel knew better though, wrapping her arms around his waist.

'I was gonna tell you but I needed…I guess I kinda needed to face this with Quinn on my own,' Puck found himself admitting and checked to make sure there was _really _no one else witnessing this after school special moment.

'Would you…that is, would you like to tell me about them?'

He did, but right now the thought had his throat closing up.

'How about we sit here for awhile, huh? Just chill,' he murmured into her hair, pressing his cheek against it. Rachel nodded against his chest and Puck let himself enjoy the feel of her against him, smoothed his fingers over her tense muscles until he felt her relax under his ministrations.

He didn't realize that he was humming _Sweet Caroline _under his breath.

Rachel did, her breath hitching slightly. She closed her eyes and heard the clock tick, lost herself in his absent humming.

Right now she just wanted to remember this moment, exactly as it was.

**For those of you who like Supernatural, I've written a crossover with Glee starring Puckleberry of course (fic titled **_**Numinous**_**) and a companion fic for that called **_**Preternatural **_**featuring Pezchester (Santana/Dean).**

_**North **_**also has its own companion drabble series called **_**North: The Outtakes**_**, so feel free!**

**Follow me on Twitter (aswordsworth), if you are inclined.**


	73. Chapter 73

'Hi,' Kurt said. Rachel felt her body still, resisted the urge to turn around and grab onto the slender teen's shoulders, hold him tight so he couldn't walk away from her.

'Hello,' she replied softly, trying to not let her nerves shine through. The thick textbook was still grasped between her fingers as she watched Kurt out of the corner of her eye. The thick yellow knit cable sweater landed at his knees, what looked suspiciously like designing gumboots adorning his feet.

'I received that ridiculous singing telegram your ordered,' he told her, eyes straight ahead. 'As well as the ten minute long message you left on my phone.'

'Oh.'

'Perhaps I overreacted yesterday. A little bit,' Kurt heaved out a deep sigh. 'Puck was right. Though the deceitful potential you have lies vastly untapped, I don't believe you would direct those powers towards people you consider a friend.'

'Noah said that?' Rachel murmured, casting her mind to this morning. Her boyfriend hadn't mentioned anything about speaking with Kurt.

'Yes. Arrived on my doorstep at an ungodly hour, prompting a traumatizing conversation with my father as I vehemently denied I had arranged some kind of late night rendezvous,' Kurt rolled his eyes as Rachel let out a small giggle.

'You know if I had wanted to expose Jesse in front of Mr Schue, I would have done it directly. I know how much you care about him…' Rachel trailed off, biting her lip.

'_Used _to you mean,' Kurt corrected, attempting to appear nonchalant. The hurt and anger in his eyes told a different story though.

'I'm sorry that Jesse didn't turn out the way you wanted him to,' Rachel told Kurt, placing a hand on his arm as she shoved her textbook into the locker.

'I'm sorry I was so quick to judge.'

Rachel gave him a smile. 'Friends?'

'Always,' Kurt reciprocated the gesture, looping his arm through hers. 'You're a leap of faith I would gladly take.'

Rachel hugged him closer to her, eyes closed. The next thing she knew she felt someone jostle Kurt, sending him flying into the bank of lockers to their side. Rachel impacted off him painfully, catching sight of David Karofsky high-fiving Azimio.

'That _Neanderthal_!' Rachel hissed through her teeth. 'Are you okay Kurt?'

'I'm fine.'

'Are you sure? That kind of behaviour is simply unacceptable! Wait here, I think I need to have a word with-'

'I'm _fine _Rachel,' Kurt cut her off sharply, brushing his shoulder. 'It was an accident.'

Noting the tight press of Kurt's lips, Rachel glanced in the direction Karofsky had disappeared to, finally nodding her head slowly.

'If you say so,' she said carefully, feeling her phone buzz at her hip. Taking it out of her pocket, she was surprised to see she had a message from Jesse.

'Who is it?' Kurt inquired, patting his hair. 'Is my hair alright?'

'It's perfect,' she answered. 'It's just Brit.' Rachel picked someone who wasn't in the same last period as Kurt. 'I'll see you at glee?'

'Just make sure she doesn't rope you into keeping that bird in her locker,' Kurt warned, lips quirked. Rachel laughed and waved him off before turning back to the text.

_Meet me in the parking lot. _

Indecision warred inside of her. A large part screamed that it was too suspicious, that it might be a trap for what she instigated yesterday. But there was another more curious voice wondering what Jesse wanted to say to her. She was still in her gym clothes, decided that she would use whatever time was left of her free to catch a quick shower after she was done with Jesse.

'Jesse?' She called out, scanning the parking lot before her eyes found the curly-haired boy standing in front of a black SUV. He was dressed in a blue leather jacket that looked suspiciously abnormal for the attire he usually wore. Rachel had long noticed that Jesse preferred to dress like a starved arts student – all black, sometimes wearing a hint of grey if he was feeling adventurous.

'I'm glad you came,' Jesse said, his voice carrying as she cautiously made her way towards her. She had typed out a text to Brittany en route, hesitant to send it. Her thumb hovered over the send button on her phone as Jesse regarded her, face cool.

'What do you want?'

'You're right, you know. I did come here with ulterior motives. I was sent here, like a good little soldier, to carry out a task. But then I met Kurt and the rest of you. So young, naïve,' Jesse shook his head.

'You have feelings for him, don't you?' Rachel ventured cautiously.

'Yes,' Jesse stated plainly. 'Which is why it hurt so much to have him look at me like I wasn't the person who-'

'Do you still want to undermine our chances at Regionals?' Rachel interrupted. Something flashed across Jesse's features.

'No. Not really,' Jesse gave her a tight, mirthless smile. When he finished speaking, something slammed into the back of her head. A cracking sound, and then the feel of something slimy dribbling down to her neck. Movement flittered through her gaze, the sounds of feet and the resounding echoes of eggs breaking apart on her clothes and skin thundered through her head. Jesse stood there, unmoving, eyes locked with hers.

'Do it,' Giselle, the lead female vocalist on Vocal Adrenaline demanded, arms folded across her chest as she looked at Rachel with distaste. She was wearing a tight blue dress with tulle lining the underskirt, and Rachel thought she would have laughed if the situation had even been remotely the least bit funny. The line of Carmel High students on either side of her murmured their agreement.

Jesse stepped forward, a small smooth shape held gingerly in his hand.

'I wish it didn't have to be this way,' he told her. Rachel told herself to ignore the undercurrent of remorse flowing through his words, brushed aside the small amount of respect she had for him as he continued to look her right in the eye as the egg collapsed under his touch. Egg yolk dripped down her face, filtering into her mouth as she squeezed her eyes shut.

'We'll never forgive you. _Kurt _will never forgive you,' she whispered and Jesse didn't move, fingers still pressed against her forehead.

'I know. They wanted to do this to him you know?' Jesse finally said, hand falling away. Rachel kept her eyes closed, shivering in the wind as Giselle let out a pitched laugh. Her thumb slipped against her phone, pressed down as the message meant for Brittany went through.

'Enough Giselle. Let's just go,' Jesse told the other girl curtly.

'What? You were just doing what Ms Corcoran told you to. Pointless if you ask me. Everyone knows we're going to crush them,' Giselle shot back, voice drifting away. The sounds of footsteps fading, the rumble of engines being started – Rachel heard them all disappear as she stood rooted to the ground.

_They wanted to do this to Kurt…_

'Rachel?' The horror in Brittany's voice was unmistakable. 'What happened?'

'They…they…' She felt her throat close up as delicate fingers wiped the yolk from her face. Rachel forced open her eyes, felt her hands shake as she ran the backs of them over her eyebrows.

'He didn't want them to do this to Kurt,' Rachel said in disbelief, staring down at the yellow translucent smears all over her body.

'Are those _eggs_? He? Ray, what _happened_?' Brittany pressed, grabbing Rachel's arm.

'Jesse,' was all Rachel managed to choke out. Brittany's eyes widened in shock before narrowing in anger.

'I'll maim him,' the blonde hissed through her teeth. 'Where is he?'

'He's gone. The rest of Vocal Adrenaline were with…he's gone.'

'Damn coward,' Brittany muttered harshly.

'Can you make sure no one sees me? I really want to…'

'If anyone even _thinks _about harassing you, they'll have to deal with me,' Brittany assured her. 'Let's get you cleaned up. I'll grab Puck-'

'No,' Rachel interjected. 'Don't…he'll react rather negatively towards this. Just let me get rid of the evidence before we tell him.'

'Ray-'

'Brit _please_.' Rachel wasn't sure whether it was the desperation in her voice that finally won the Cheerio over, but was grateful when Brittany gave an exasperated nod before pulling her in the direction of the gym. Recalling the defeat in Kurt's attitude towards Jesse, only one thing ran through Rachel's mind.

_How was she going to tell Kurt?_

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	74. Chapter 74

Puck rolled his eyes when he heard Kurt suck in a deep breath. Balling up the tissue paper he had unstrung from the ceiling, Puck slowly climbed down the ladder and flicked the wad into the garbage can Mike and Matt had dragged from who knows where. Puck had seen Kurt's face fall when they had walked into the choir room for glee, only to find it almost swallowed whole by the amount of tissue paper hanging _everywhere_.

Mr Schue had flipped his shit, muttering under his breath before stalking out of the room.

'So that habit Vocal Adrenaline have of screwing with their competition wasn't complete bull then,' Santana remarked, kicking some of the tissue in disgust. 'Probably just the icing on the cake after Jesse stabbed us in the back.'

'Let's just clean this up okay?' Kurt had fired back at the Latina, who seemed surprised at the bite behind his words. Wordlessly everyone begun finding a section of the room to clean.

'Where's Rachel?' Finn asked the question that had been on Puck's mind.

'With Brit,' Kurt had murmured back and Puck swallowed the urge to find Rachel, instead dragging out the ladder the janitor kept in the closet across the hall. Since then everyone had just worked in silence, a thick discomforting one that was driving Puck slowly insane. It didn't help that whenever he looked at Kurt he kind of felt bad for the kid.

_Seriously since hooking up with Rachel, I have somehow grown a vagina._

Clearing his throat after hearing another hearty sniff, Puck ventured cautiously over towards Kurt.

'Hey dude, you cool?' Puck said awkwardly, shoving his hands in his pockets because he really didn't want to pat Kurt on the shoulder or something lame like that.

'Just fantastic,' Kurt replied, eyes focused on unrolling the tissue wrapped around the legs of the plastic chairs they used.

'Just like…don't waste your time thinking about that douche. There's like plenty of gay tail you can score. Right?' Puck tacked on at the end, trying to recall _any _guys he knew who liked other dudes. So far the only names he could come up with were Kurt and Jesse. And Mr Ryerson after all that inappropriate touching he had tried on Finn and Puck during their stint in Acafellas.

'What…what _happened_?' Rachel's shrill voice drew Puck's attention away. His girlfriend stood there, mouth agape, as she surveyed the choir room and the overflowing garbage cans scattered around the floor.

'Vocal Adrenaline happened,' Mike answered her dryly.

'They did this _too_?' Brittany's angry question had Puck furrowing his brow.

'Too?' He asked, taking in the way Rachel's eyes immediately shot to Kurt and him before landing on the floor.

'They threw eggs at Rachel,' Brittany stated, hands on hips as she glared at him. 'Jesse got all his robots and then proceeded to kill _innocent baby chicks _by throwing eggs at Rachel!'

'What?' Kurt whispered.

'_What?_' Puck hissed out, stalking over towards Rachel who slowly raised her eyes to meet his.

'It's true,' Rachel announced plainly, eliciting a comical gasp from Tina and Mercedes.

'Fuck this. Jose, let's go,' Puck ground his teeth, trying to prevent the red from bleeding into his vision.

'_No_. Both of you, _no_,' Rachel grabbed hold of his bicep, swinging her gaze between him and Jose.

'Heck no Ria,' Jose told her. 'That asshole's messed with Kurt and now he's messed with you. It's time to lay down the law.'

'Neither of you are going to-'

'It's time to introduce St Jackass to my fists baby,' Puck said slowly. 'The question you should be asking is what's the best way to mess up that Jesse kid's face.'

'Then what happens? The both of you get suspended from school and we're down two members for Regionals?' Rachel retorted, tightening her grip on his arm. Puck saw the way her eyes kept flitting to Kurt and felt himself soften at the pain etched behind her brown orbs. But then he saw what looked like part of an eggshell buried in her hair and the rage swelled back up again.

'No I agree with Puck and Jose. We can't let Jesse get away with this. Can I come with you guys? I really want to kick Jesse in the balls. Or I can hold him while you punch. I have very good upper body strength,' Brittany cut in forcefully, face set.

'No one is maiming anyone!' Rachel shouted, hugging Puck's arm close to her side as if to restrain him. 'That's exactly what they think you will do, and I know that they have the Ohio Show Choir Association on speed dial just _waiting _to inform them of our unsportsmanlike behaviour.'

'Rachel's right,' Kurt agreed softly. 'Jesse's focused enough to do that.'

'So what? We just let those losers get away with it?' Puck demanded, frustrated. 'Look Rachel-'

'No Noah,' Rachel cut him off, squeezing his arm. '_Please_.'

'Then what we just lie down and take it?' Santana remarked derisively.

'Of course not. We channel whatever we're feeling right now and _annihilate _them at Regionals. This is Jesse's last chance to win Nationals. Taking that away from him will inflict a heavier psychological toll then simply beating him black and blue. Plus Noah, you, Michael and Matthew have already incurred disciplinary action for fighting within school grounds on my behalf. Once is more than enough.'

'We can fight them _outside _of school grounds,' Puck argued.

'I know the perfect way to do that. We're going to do the song that brought us together,' Rachel said, casting meaningful looks towards Artie, Tina, Mercedes, Kurt and Finn.

Puck saw the hopeful glance Rachel had on her features, regarded Jose thoughtfully before nodding his head. He listened without complaint as Rachel elaborated on the specifics of the Journey medley they were going to perform, made sure she was tucked into his side until he dropped her off at home.

'You aren't coming in?' Rachel asked him, sounding crestfallen.

'Gotta pick the brat up from soccer practice. I'll be around after dinner, promise.'

A half hour later and Puck found himself pulling to a stop outside the Carmel High parking lot, Mike, Jose and Matt in his truck as well.

'Dude, they _all _have Range Rovers,' Mike commented in disbelief. 'They really are like a fucking army. Shit.'

'The others are here,' Matt jerked his head and they got out of the truck, Puck arching an eyebrow when Brittany, Kurt and Finn all got out of Finn's sedan.

'They wanted to come,' Finn said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head.

'You can actually get arrested for this, you guys know that right?' Puck asked Brittany and Kurt.

'I know which SUV is Jesse's,' Kurt answered, looking out into the deserted parking lot. The sun was setting and the sky had already begun to darken, the streetlights burning against the pavement. 'I want to slash at least one of his tires.'

'Okay then. Revenge. Fear. The merciless infliction of pain. These are my kingdoms. I welcome you all. Let's go fuck some shit up,' Puck said almost gleefully, pulling out the hunting knife his father had left behind.

Rachel heard the thump outside her window a few hours later, grabbed the baseball bat Puck had given her that was leaning beside her study table. Inching close towards the window she spotted the familiar mohawk attempting to climb up the trellis her Daddy had put in two summers ago.

'Noah, are you _insane_?' Rachel hissed under her breath, reaching over to unlatch the window. She watched as Puck stumbled in, held her breath when neither of her fathers knocked on her door.

'What is that _smell_?' Rachel asked, inhaling the odor of…burnt rubber.

'Lust and sweat,' Puck heaved out, collapsing on her bed. 'Shit. That was fucking _insane_. Maybe you could like stash a ladder or something for me next time, huh?'

'Did you…do something? Noah, I thought I said-'

'You okay?' Puck's abrupt question made Rachel trail off to stare at him. His eyes, hazel with those flecks of green and gold, seemed to pin her on the spot. Placing the bat under her bed, Rachel crawled up to lie down beside him, watching the ceiling intently.

'Jesse…Jesse said they had wanted to egg Kurt,' Rachel admitted, felt Puck tense up beside her. 'I know this might sound weird…but I'm really glad they didn't do this to Kurt. I don't think he'd be strong enough to take that kind of betrayal.'

'_You _don't deserve it either,' Puck told her gruffly. Rachel turned on her side to face him, pillowed her cheek on her hands.

'I thought you would be more angry.'

'I still want to put my boot up Jesse's ass.'

'_Noah_. Something happened. I know you didn't pick your sister up from soccer practice because she has it tomorrow. So what did you do?'

Rachel heard Puck sigh. 'Shit I made sure no one got up close and personal with my mad _Fight Club _skills alright? You really thought I was just gonna let that douche get away with pulling that shit on you? _Hell _no.'

Rachel felt her heart swell, something warm unfurl in her chest. Without hesitation she straddled him, smirking at the surprised expression that fluttered across Puck's face. Leaning down she captured his lips with hers, placing her palms on either side of his face to angle her head better. His hand tracked up her waist, inching closer to her chest. Rachel moaned and shifted her body, giving him the permission she knew he was asking. His hands settled over her breast, warm, heavy and…

'Rachel honey, _Last Choir Standing _is about to start!' Her Dad's voice had Rachel scrambling upright, almost falling off the bed if Puck hadn't grabbed her waist.

'I have a lot of homework Dad! Would you mind taping it for me?'

A hefty pause.

'Oh my god. You just _left _the bat out there for him?' Puck said in a low voice.

'Alright Star. Don't work yourself too hard,' her Dad finally said. The sounds of his footsteps going down the stairs had Rachel giggling.

'Fuck my life. I get to second base and then get completely cockblocked by your dad,' Puck muttered, his lip jutting out in what looked suspiciously like a pout. Rachel rolled off him, dragging them both so they were positioned comfortably on the bed.

'Can we cuddle?' Rachel ventured, curling herself around Puck's side, the events of the day catching up to her. The shame, anger, hurt and intense need for a hug coalesced suddenly and potently.

'Whatever. You just want all up on my body,' Puck remarked but nonetheless turned to face her, tucking her body closer to his. Their legs were tangled together, Puck's hand playing underneath her shirt, tracking patterns on the small of her back.

'I actually wished you'd hit Jesse,' Rachel confessed after a minute. 'I just…it was so _humiliating_.' To her horror she felt her eyes burn, pressed her forehead to Puck's chest so he couldn't see her face.

'Shh...' She heard Puck whisper into her ear and Rachel listened to the steady beat of his heart, eventually felt her eyes grow heavy.

Puck heard Rachel's breathing even out, continued to card his fingers through her hair.

He felt like he could just watch her sleep forever.

As he left through her window later, he tried not to let that thought scare him too much.

**a/n: the lack of smuckleberry has been mentioned. I am utter crap at writing smut. Is there anyone out there willing to help me out? **


	75. Chapter 75

Puck spent the next few weeks worrying over Quinn as her pregnancy hits its last legs, and also sneaking a thumb of whiskey from the bottle he had stashed under his bed. A few sips here and there, he told himself, to calm the emotions threatening to consume him. A large drag the day Quinn and him had gone to meet the Fernandez family to numb the pinprick of pain threatening to bloom larger.

A part of him wanted to revisit the same bar Mike, Jose and Rachel had dragged him out of, but remembering the way Rachel had reacted after was enough of a disincentive. Puck didn't want another reason to disappoint his mother anyway.

Jesse had apparently confronted Kurt the day after they had slashed his tires, demanding compensation. If Puck had been around for that conversation, the male lead would have left with a black eye and a few teeth missing. As it was Kurt had assured them that Jesse and the rest of the choir wouldn't be pressing the matter, mumbling cryptically about karma and lessons learned. Puck hadn't pushed the issue, leaving Kurt to sink back into the same melancholy state he had been in since Jesse's betrayal.

'Noah _please _pay attention!' Rachel snapped out, eyes flashing dangerously. They were in the green room huddled together, waiting for their cue to get on stage. Quinn was reclined back on the sofa, not in the gold and black dresses the other girls were in, but there on Mr Schuester's insistence that she not be excluded from the bonding process. Jose sat next to the blonde, hands behind his head as he smirked at Puck.

'Dude she's going to _kill _someone. _Don't _poke the bear,' Mike whispered harshly into Puck's ear, all the while maintaining a fake smile.

'Shit Rachel, calm the fuck down already,' Puck grumbled instead, immediately causing Rachel's face to contract in anger.

'Diva, we've got all this drilled into our brain,' Kurt cut in, shooting Puck a warning look as he grasped Rachel by the shoulders.

'This has to be perfect!' Rachel protested, Kurt's body blocking her from Puck's view. Kurt gently led Rachel into a corner, smoothed his hands up and down her arms away from the rest of the group.

'God, what the fuck did you do Puckerman?' Santana wondered aloud, examining her fingernails. 'RuPaul was actually tolerable up until a few weeks ago.'

'Shut up Lopez,' Puck rolled his eyes. 'She just wants to make sure we ground those Vocal Adrenaline assholes into fucking mince out there.'

'Right,' Santana drawled out, flicking her eyes towards Quinn's stomach. 'I'm sure that's it.'

Puck ground his teeth, recalling the way Rachel had steadily drawn herself away from him and into her Regional's preparation. Every time Puck wanted to spend some time with her, she had told him that Quinn needed him more before feeding him some bullshit line about harmonies and practicing choreography with Brittany.

The lights flickered in the room and everyone lurched to their feet, Puck and Jose helping Quinn stand up.

'You feeling good? You look a little pasty,' Puck asked, taking in the chalkish hue to Quinn's features.

'Carrying this kid is exhausting,' Quinn shot back, squeezing his hand.

'Alright guys, time for us to get out there and win this!' Mr Schuester threw open the door, clapping his hands together in excitement.

'Don't embarrass us,' Quinn joked as Jose handed her off to Mr Schue. Puck watched her like a hawk, narrowing his eyes when he saw Mr Schue stop for a second to say something to Quinn.

'Baby's not due for another two weeks,' Jose pulled at his arm. 'She'll be fine.'

Puck spotted Rachel next to Finn, hurried to grab hold of her before she headed towards the curtain.

'Hey,' he said in a low voice. 'You ready?'

'Of course,' Rachel answered but there was something off about her tone.

'Did I like…do something? You've been, like, avoiding me-'

'Noah,' Rachel interrupted him, shaking her head slowly. 'Quinn needed you more.'

'What?' Puck said, confused. _What the fuck was that supposed to mean?_

'Rachel! Position!' Kurt called out and Rachel glanced over her shoulder, leaned up to press a kiss to Puck's cheek and rubbed her hand down his upper arm down to his elbow.

'Good luck,' she told him softly before taking her place beside Finn. Puck had decided, as much as it killed him, to let Finn take the lead on the duet with Rachel. Rachel had appeared stricken with his request initially, before finally acceding to his judgment. Honestly Puck had expected fireworks and a temper tantrum, but Rachel had swallowed whatever protest and agreed that it would be better this way in case something did happen to Quinn.

_Not to mention it sucked to see Finn and Rachel sing some sappy song about love._

Still he managed to get through the entire performance, allowing himself to sink into the music and forget for a fleeting moment that he was closer to giving his daughter away. That is until he discovered Mr Schuester waiting in the wings, an anxious expression on his face.

'Puck we need to go.'

'_What_?' Puck heard his voice say, his mouth dry. 'No. _Fuck no_. She isn't due-'

'Puck Quinn's water broke and I need you to come with me,' Mr Schue steamrolled right over him. Puck let the New Directions chair lead him towards Quinn, who was being attended to by a middle-aged woman.

'Isn't there supposed to be fluid and shit everywhere?' Puck asked dumbly, seeing that the carpet underneath Quinn's feet was dry.

'This isn't a movie young man,' the old woman clucked. 'The ambulance will be here in a few seconds so maybe we can start moving towards the exit?' The last part was addressed to Quinn, who nodded her assent.

'I got a wheelchair!' Mercedes exclaimed. Puck felt his whole world swaying as his feet stood rooted to the ground.

_Quinn was having the baby now. In a few hours she won't have the baby anymore. I won't have the baby anymore._

'Snap out of it Puckerman!' Quinn snapped out loudly, startling Puck to his senses. Jose chuckled as a woman dressed in an EMT uniform suddenly appeared, hustling Quinn, Puck and Mr Schue along with her.

'Mercedes has to come too!' Quinn grabbed the other girl's hand, refusing to let go.

'Sure thing sweetheart,' the EMT consented. 'Sorry sir but could you-'

'We'll follow behind you in a cab,' Mr Schue told the EMT. 'Puck why don't you go with Quinn and Mercedes. I'll call your mother and meet you guys at the hospital?'

_Shit his mother._

Puck's head swam as the clambered into the back of the ambulance and everything suddenly seemed like a scripted television show. Because this couldn't be happening to him right now. At all. Instinctively he reached for Rachel, only to find himself grasping air.

'Where's…where's Rach?' He choked out. Mercedes spared him a brief glance before answering.

'She told Mr Schue she would wait for the results back at the theater.'

Puck could only blink blankly at her, his chest squeezing even more at the thought of going through this without Rachel.

'Shit I need to call-'

'You know me I love me some Puckleberry,' Mercedes stopped him from reaching for his phone. 'But I think you need to let Rachel stay back there. Okay?'

There was no denying the pity in Mercedes' voice, and if Quinn's answer to the EMT hadn't caught his attention, Puck wasn't quite sure what he would have said.

'Slow the fuck up. What the _hell _do you mean you started having contractions _a few hours ago_?'


	76. Chapter 76

Rachel wondered whether she was a horrible person for not being at the hospital with Puck. She knew that no matter what he said, Puck would have wanted her there. He needed the support, the comfort that she could offer him.

_He has the rest of the glee club there. He'll be fine._

_Besides, I don't think I could handle seeing Puck hold a child with Quinn smiling up at the picture that would create._

'I'm a horrible, horrible person,' Rachel muttered under her breath, putting her face into her hands. The heels she had used for their performance were kicked off the side, her once meticulous hair now falling haphazardly in pieces. Rachel always prided herself on being put together, on projecting a particular image, but right now she really couldn't care less how she looked.

The soft thunder of feet made her look up and see one of the attendants on hand standing awkwardly in front of her. The girl, who looked a year or so younger than air, gave her a hesitant smile.

'Is it time for the results?' Rachel asked, smoothing out her hair. Her voice quavered and she cast her gaze downwards, focused on making sure the fiddly straps of her shoes were secure.

'Yes. I couldn't find your choir director Mr…' The girl glanced down at her clipboard. 'Will Schuester.'

'I'm representing the choir today. One of our members went into labour,' Rachel answered. The girl looked stunned at her reply, mouth falling open a little bit. Giving the attendant a short wave, Rachel sucked in a breath and made her way towards the stage. She ignored the curious looks the other choirs were sending her way, making sure to keep her eyes above the crowd so she couldn't notice the stares being directed at her as well.

'Where's the rest of your motley crew?' Giselle questioned. Rachel rolled her eyes, glancing at the other girl. Giselle looked smug and condescending, and Rachel clenched her fists to make sure she wouldn't do something irrational.

'Glee emergency,' was all Rachel offered up, choosing to disregard the disbelieving scoff coming from Giselle.

'Let me guess? That white trailer trash-'

While the thought of Quinn, Puck and the baby generally made Rachel's heart squeeze, Giselle's comment sparked something fiery and familiar inside her instead. Whipping around to deliver a vicious glare, Rachel made sure her gaze swept over the entire knot of Carmel High students gathered around their puppet master. Spotting Jesse, who stood behind Giselle's shoulder without a word, Rachel pinned her brown eyes on him.

'_Don't _talk about Quinn that way. It may escape the capability of your robotic, shallow hearts, but New Directions isn't some well-trained show choir designed to do one thing. We are a family, and I would appreciate it if you _desist _making such false and derogatory statements in the near future. Unlike you, we don't need to egg someone to make a point. We let the music do it for us,' Rachel bit out, making sure to enunciate her words clearly. 'Of all the things Jesse must have garnered during his respite with us, I'm sure he can explain that concept to you in small, simple words you can understand.'

'Why you little _bitch_,' Giselle hissed out softly. Rachel arched an eyebrow in response, watched as Jesse put a firm hold on his female lead's shoulder. 'Let me go St James. I'm going to-'

Whatever Giselle was about to say got drowned out as the director of the event walked out on stage, envelope and trophy in either hand. Rachel turned expectantly towards the balding man, and felt the world shift underneath her when he announced Vocal Adrenaline as the winner.

'Jesse must not have explained what _winning _means,' Giselle pronounced, roughly shoving against her shoulder as Vocal Adrenaline swarmed to collect their trophy.

Rachel felt her phone buzz in her hand, looked down to see Mr Schue's name on screen. Curling her fingers around her Blackberry Rachel decided to deliver the news in person, no matter how her feelings towards Puck and Quinn were.

_We're a family, and family sticks together._

The cab ride to the hospital was filled with pressing silence and the nervous kneading of her knuckles. She knew what not winning Regionals meant. It meant no more Glee next year. It meant the disbanding of a group of people that had finally started coming together. Music had been the one thing holding them, linking them. If that was taken away, Rachel was realistic enough to know that familiar social divisions would once again come through.

_Would Puck still want to be with her if there was no Glee? Would he still want to be with her after seeing the baby?_

_His baby you mean._

She paid the driver, thanking him politely before requesting to know where the rest of the club were at the reception desk.

'Rachel?' Mr Schuester sounded as if he was disappointed, immediately noticing that she wasn't having someone else carry the trophy they should have won. She could see the rest of New Directions behind him, but for some reason they were a little blurry at the edges.

'I'm sorry Mr Schue,' Rachel whispered, horrified to hear her words cracking.

_I failed at the one thing I was supposed to be good at._

'Hey Rachel, its alright. We'll be fine. Come on, have a seat,' the Spanish teacher cajoled softly, leading her gently towards a chair.

'Could I have some water?' Rachel asked, relieved when Mr Schue hurried off to fulfill her request.

'We didn't get it, huh?' Santana said, sounding oddly defeated. Rachel met the Latina's dark stare, shaking her head. 'That's fucking bullshit. We worked our _asses _off.'

'We'll win next year,' Brittany chipped in, sounding confident. Rachel didn't have the heart to correct her.

'Hey you okay?' Jose whispered and Rachel saw him crouch in front of her. She gave him a wobbly smile, lifted her shoulders. Jose patted her on the knee, lifted himself into the seat next to hers.

'Is he…'

'Yeah their both in the delivery room,' Jose answered her, pointing towards a nondescript door a few feet away from them. Rachel turned away instantly, hugging her arms around herself.

_She didn't want to think what was happening behind those doors._

'C'mon get some sleep,' Jose suggested, shrugging off his jacket and folding it into a pillow. 'She's like not even dilated or some shit like that. We'll be here a while.'

'Thanks,' Rachel told her best friend simply, resting her head on his lap willingly. She felt exhausted and soon slipped away.

'I didn't want to come either,' she thought she heard Jose whisper.

She barely felt like a minute had passed before Jose was shaking her away, motioning towards a corridor across from them.

'You should go see him,' Jose told her as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

'What time is it?'

'Tomorrow,' he retorted dryly. Rachel took in the dark shadows under his eyes, didn't comment.

She made sure her hair was in place, stopped by a bathroom to splash some cool water onto her face and wipe away the makeup from the competition. Her breath didn't smell too bad, Rachel decided, before finally leaving to see Puck.

'Did you love me?' She heard Quinn's voice before she saw them. Puck had his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, the black tie around his neck long gone. Quinn stood by his side in a hospital gown and a thick waffle robe, leaning against Puck as if he was the only thing keeping her upright.

'Especially now,' Puck answered and Rachel felt the air rush out of her lungs. She might have let out a choked gasp but her hands were covering her mouth as she stared wide-eyed at the pair of them.

_They look like they belong together, don't they?_

_They look like a family…_

Rachel turned on her heel and fled.

**a/n:**

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	77. Chapter 77

He shouldn't have seen her, that tiny thing wrapped in pink. Puck had felt his heart swell, so much so that he was afraid that it would have burst out of his chest. His daughter – someone with the same mouth as him and the same soft down of hair. She was perfect and beautiful.

But, in the end, she would grow up never knowing that she was _actually _his.

The thought pressed down on him like the darkness in his room. He was still in the clothes he had worn to Regionals, though he had no idea where his tie was. Quinn had told him to go home, so soft and tired and _defeated_, that he had complied without much argument. Maybe she was thinking the same thing he was – that they shouldn't have seen their daughter before giving her away to someone else.

_You just gave her up? Just like that? At least I stuck around long enough to leave._

To top it off, he kept hearing his deadbeat father in his head. The man's voice was malicious and aimed squarely at the gaping wounds already left wide open. Why was it that whenever he needed some kind of respite, the fucker managed to worm his way back into his life somehow? Sighing harshly, Puck turned on his side, wishing Rachel was here with him.

_Where was she when you needed her huh? Finn said she was in the waiting room with the rest of them. And then she just left. Just like that. Like I didn't need her or anything._

The anger he had felt when he had discovered Rachel wasn't at the hospital roiled around his stomach once again, thundering through his ears. Sure Puck could have gone to her house, snuck into her room like the last time. But that would defeat the whole purpose of being pissed at her, of acknowledging that he needed her in order to get through the pain lancing through his body. He tilted the phone he had put on silent, not surprised to see he didn't have any new messages from Rachel.

_Bitch._

Feeling guilty at the thought, Puck gave up on trying to get to sleep. He grabbed a sweatshirt before softly padding down the stairs into the kitchen. Flicking on the lights he stood there for a moment, not sure what exactly he wanted.

_Well whenever I'm upset I drink some water. It just calms me…Noah! Stop laughing at me!_

Grabbing a tall glass he filled it with water, entranced as the liquid foamed a little at the top. When it was full Puck brought it to his lips, taking a deep gulp and then another. Soon the whole glass was empty and Puck still felt like shit, still felt like everything around just plain _sucked_.

'Fuck,' he hissed out, all but dumping the glass into the sink without bothering to wash it. He didn't think his mother would mind, considering that she'd been treating him with kid gloves since picking him up from the hospital. Puck had welcomed the silence, giving one-word answers whenever Abigail would ask if he wanted something. He had shut himself up in his room, ignored Natalie's attempts to get his attention, just let himself drown in the artificial darkness. He must have drifted off at some point, the middle between waking and sleeping, when he had felt the bed depress at his stomach. Abigail's perfume drifted into his nose and he felt warm, dry lips press against his forehead, fingers rubbing the hair at his temple before leaving him once again lone.

Puck headed towards the back porch, absently stepping out into the cool night. His fingers dug into the pockets of his sweatshirt for warmth before coming to hand loose at his hips, face tilted up towards the night sky.

_Wonder if she'll like the stars like Rachel, or those retarded ponies like Natalie. _

It made Puck dig his nails into the palm of his hands, welcoming the sharp bite that thrummed through him when the skin broke.

_If I had a mother who wanted to keep me as much as you did, I don't think I could ever hate her._

Rachel's words made that thin, fine thread of control snap. All the hurt and frustration, all that helplessness and indecision, all that _pain _burst forward like a dam, tearing its way through him like a wall of water. His vision tunneled and Puck drove his fist into the banister at his side, enjoyed the way the contact made everything seem _less _somehow. He knuckled both hands, laying into the piece of wood as if it were a punching bag, except this was solid wood just _waiting _for him to break it to pieces.

'Noah! _Noah!_' He heard someone shriek. Suddenly there were hands pulling him away, the hold barely strong enough to prevent him from delivering another blow to the banister who now looked suspiciously like Elijah Puckerman and Mr Fernandez combined.

'Stop it Noah! You're hurting yourself!' It was the sharp desperation in Abigail's tone that made Puck blink away the composite of the two men, revealing his mother dressed in her nightgown and silk wrapper looking at him as if he were a caged animal.

'Ma?' He breathed, the ache still settled in his chest.

Abigail gave a choked sound, tenderly grasped his wrists to pull his hands towards her. A jolt of something had him look down, see the way his knuckles were split and the skin peeled away. It felt like he had broken a bone or something.

_She's gone. My baby girl is gone._

'Ma,' this time the word was said with a quaver. His mother's face blurred and shook as his eyes grew hot and uncomfortable. 'Shit Ma. I really fucked up, didn't I?'

Abigail didn't say anything, instead reaching up to swipe her thumb under his eye. It came away wet and Puck didn't know whether to be horrified or relieved to see that.

'I'm just like him. I left my kid without a fucking look back-'

'Shut up Noah,' Abigail cut in harshly, face fierce. 'Don't you ever say that again. You are my son and today…today you did a _good _thing.'

Puck scoffed.

'Bullshit. I did the _worst _fucking thing _ever _and-'

'Your father walked out because he chose to.'

'How is this choice any different?' Puck shot back, keeping his gaze down on their intertwined hands.

'You gave your daughter love and a good life,' Abigail told him softly. 'It's what any good parent would do, will do.'

Abigail held her son as his knees gave out, wobbled at the force of the sobs wracking through his body. Puck felt her smooth her hands down his neck, just like she did when he was younger. He tightened his arms around his mother, buried her face into her neck to smell the faint trace of her perfume that always seemed to linger.

'I'm sorry for being such a screw up,' Puck mumbled once he got his breathing under control. He felt Abigail tense underneath him, stared straight ahead as the night sky bore down on him just like his room had done.

'You're my son,' Abigail stated, leaning back and gripping his chin so that he would look her in the eye. 'Yes I didn't exactly expect to be a grandmother so soon, and I wished things would have gone differently. But _you're my son_, and today you showed me what a good man you are. And for that, baby, I will _always _be proud.'

Puck felt his eyes water again, tugging Abigail into another embrace.

Right now, he just really wanted his mother.


	78. Chapter 78

It had been two days since Puck and Quinn had had their child. Two days since she had sequestered herself in her house and refused to come out, holed up in her room trying to forget the words Puck had whispered to Quinn when he thought no one was around.

_Especially now._

What did that even mean? Did that mean he still harboured some feelings for her? Did that mean she was simply another distraction, repeating the same mistakes she had had with Finn? The unanswered questions pounded through her head no matter how loud she turned up the music or television, despite the fact that she had exhausted herself on the elliptical before bed in a desperate attempt to make her mind too tired to dream. It was too much and it competed with the desire to see Puck, to make sure he was okay.

Rachel didn't know whether it was sad that the latter impulse had won out as she stood in front of the Puckerman household, having already rung the doorbell. There was muted yellow light behind the curtains so she knew that someone was home, though Puck's bedroom was noticeably dark. The sound of footsteps made her square her shoulders and the naked surprise on Abigail Puckerman's face made Rachel second-guess herself.

'Good evening Mrs Puckerman. I hope I'm not intruding-'

'Rachel,' Abigail cut in, tone neutral. 'Come in.'

'Is…is Noah here?' Rachel questioned cautiously, swallowing discretely when she saw the wariness that tightened the corners of Abigail's eyes.

'He's in his room,' the older woman answered, sweeping her gaze up the stairs. 'Alone.'

There was no mistaking the rebuke in the older woman's voice, and Rachel told herself not to flinch when she remembered the usually warm persona Abigail gave off the last few times Rachel had been in her home. Some of the anxiety she was feeling must have leaked through because Abigail sighed, placed a soft hand on her shoulder.

'I'm sorry Rachel. I know this must be hard on you too.'

'Is it alright if I see Noah?'

A pause. 'Of course. Take however long you need.'

Rachel nodded wordlessly in reply, cradled her elbows with her hands when she reached Puck's door. Hesitantly she rapped her knuckles lightly and waited. Frowning when there was no answer she tried knocking again.

'What Ma? I don't…Oh. It's you,' Puck said, face schooled into a disinterested expression. Her fingers dug into her skin in reaction and Rachel told herself if she had really expected him to embrace her with open arms.

_You just left him there._

_He told Quinn he loves her. He didn't need me there._

'Hi,' she blurted out, unsure. Puck stood there for a moment before releasing what sounded like an exasperated breath, stepping aside and waving her in. Rachel entered his room, barely jumping when the door closed rather forcefully behind Puck.

'Glad you finally decided to see how I was doin',' Puck drawled, weaving around her to roll onto the bed. Her breath caught in her throat at the ice coating his words.

'I thought you would need some space,' she answered softly, letting her arms dangle uselessly down her sides. Puck chuckled wryly, folded his hands behind his head as he stared at the ceiling.

'Would you at least _look _at me?' She bit out, taking in the way he seemed poised to strike. It was as if he was waiting for her to attack him.

'I did look for you at the hospital. You weren't there. Or you were and then you just bailed.'

'I didn't _bail_,' she retorted scathingly.

'Whatever. You saw me. Now you can take that guilty conscience and-'

Rachel felt the anger simmering under her skin erupt as she stalked forward, leaned over his face so that her hair brushed against his cheek.

'I came here, despite…For heaven's sake Noah, I went looking for you after. Jose woke me and told me that Quinn was recovering and that the baby was at the nursery. So I went to…I don't know! Do whatever you needed me to! And then I heard you tell Quinn…I heard you say you love her and I just couldn't-'

Puck's eyes widened and he sat up abruptly, almost knocking his forehead against hers. Rachel backpedaled away but Puck grabbed her wrist.

'What are you talkin' about?'

Rachel turned away from him, eyes burning. 'You and Quinn were standing outside the nursery, looking at your…' She couldn't bring herself to say daughter. 'And she asked if-'

'God you think I _love _Quinn? Are you fuckin' insane?'

'_Don't _you dare-'

'No I dare because I've already had the most shit thing happen to me, _ever_, and I wanted _you _by my side. Not Quinn, _you_. Yeah okay maybe I did say I loved her. I did forever ago, when I thought she was what I wanted. We had a baby together, so some part of me is always goin' to acknowledge that. And I think its fuckin' bullshit that you'd ignore me and think I would disrespect you like that,' Puck ground out, letting go of her wrist. Rachel felt the loss of his touch keenly.

Suddenly she felt foolish, embarrassed.

'I'm…I'm sorry for being so selfish,' Rachel whispered, hating that she was so insecure. What was the matter with her?

_Noah had a child with another girl and lied to you about it. I think you're allowed a little leeway here._

_But I should trust him, just like he trusts me._

_If he trusted you enough, he would have told you from the start._

'You're not selfish Rachel,' Puck said, sounding tired. He sat hunched over on the bed, one hand running down his face. 'Can we just…I'm not tryna be a dick here but I really can't handle this right now.'

Rachel bit her tongue, wondering if she was always going to be pushed to the side whenever it was convenient.

'I'll just go-'

'No!' Puck practically shouted, surprising Rachel. 'You could…' His features pinched in frustration. 'C'mon just…just hang out here for a little bit.'

_I wanted you by my side._

Rachel didn't resist when he pulled her into his arms, stayed curled up around his body when his breathing evened out. She did feign sleep when Abigail opened the door to check in on them though.

_He didn't apologize for saying what he said to Quinn, did he?_

_It doesn't matter. He doesn't have feelings for her._

_He has feelings for you? The entire time you've been together, Quinn's been part of the relationship whether you wanted her to be or not. Face it Berry, you just don't want to acknowledge that._

_Noah wants to be with _me.

_But for how long?_

The last thought made her squeeze her eyes shut, so tight that she hoped the Sandman would claim her sooner rather than later.


	79. Chapter 79

**a/n: I was originally going to put this in my Outtakes, but it fit here so perfectly and helps me transition to the scene that has refused to be written properly. So enjoy. Song is by Taylor Swift.**

Brittany rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet, hands tucked into the back pockets of her denim shorts. She had wanted to do this earlier but had ultimately decided that giving Rachel some space was probably what her friend needed. Leroy Berry had informed her yesterday that Rachel was over at Puck's, so she here she was today.

No one had missed the way Rachel had practically fled from the hospital, dashing by in a whirl of gold and black tulle before Jose or anyone could say a word. A few minutes later Puck had come out looking for Rachel, only for his face to shutter even more when Santana told him that she wasn't there.

'Brittany, come in,' Leroy said, waving her through the door. 'She's upstairs.'

'Thanks Mr Berry,' Brittany replied, shucking off her shoes.

'She's been even more quiet since coming back from Abigail's this morning,' Leroy mumbled, releasing a plaintive sigh as he looked up the stairs. 'Rachel refuses to talk about it with either Hiram or I. Maybe you'll have better luck.'

'Don't worry Mr B,' Brittany answered, looking over her shoulder as she bounded up the stairs. 'I'll try.'

_I'll take care of her._

Rapping her knuckles lightly against Rachel's door, Brittany didn't wait for a reply before swinging it open. Rachel blinked at the cheerleader in surprise, leveraging herself up on her elbows.

'Hey Rach,' Brittany greeted the petite girl casually, closing the door behind her. Already she wished she had come sooner, her blue eyes flickering around the room discretely. For one thing Rachel didn't have her stereo on. Whenever Brittany had been over there was _always _music in Rachel's room. Sometimes it would be loud enough that she could escape into the song, most times it was turned down low to barely a hum in the background. Rachel wasn't joking when she said music was her life, Brittany thought as she padded over to the bed, because most times Rachel _was _the music playing around her.

'You look comfy,' Brittany said, taking in the worn oversized sweatshirt and loose lounge pants Rachel was wearing. The white number twenty emblazoned on the shirt was hard to miss.

'No offense Brit, but I really don't feel like doing this right now,' Rachel huffed out, plopping back onto her pillow heavily.

'This?' Brittany queried, shoving Rachel's shoulder so she could lie down too. Rolling her eyes Rachel shimmied over, Brittany eagerly grabbing the spare pillow and hugging it to her chest.

'I don't want to talk about Puck or Quinn or anything.'

'Okay,' Brittany rolled onto her side to face Rachel. 'I didn't want to talk about Puck or Quinn. I wanted to talk about _you_.'

'Why? I didn't have to give up my child,' Rachel remarked almost flippantly. Brittany repressed her urge to frown at the tone of Rachel's voice.

'No, but you had to watch your boyfriend and another girl do it.'

'Yes,' Rachel said curtly. 'But what I feel doesn't matter. What matters is all of us being there for Noah and Quinn, who are undoubtedly feeling immeasurable-'

Brittany was sure her mouth was gaping open, taking in the resolute expression on Rachel's face as she spoke.

'How can you say that? Of course it _matters _what you feel Ray!' Brittany exclaimed, leaning closer to Rachel who darted her face away scrutiny.

'It's selfish,' the words were all but whispered but Brittany heard them as if they had been delivered through a bullhorn. 'I'm being insecure and-'

Something snapped into place and Brittany grabbed Rachel's arm, cutting her off.

'Rachel,' Brittany said, almost gently. The thin line of her mouth and the way her eyes pulled tight at the corners did nothing but give away the tight grip Rachel had on the hem of her sweatshirt. It was almost as if Rachel needed to hold on to Puck, never let him go.

'Rachel. It is _more_ than okay for you to feel like this entire thing sucks majorly. If you don't, then there's seriously something wrong with you,' Brittany continued using that same soft murmur. She waited as Rachel turned to look at her, meeting her brown gaze without flinching.

'At the hospital…Quinn asked Noah if he loved her. He…he said especially now. And I just looked at them, with Beth, and I thought what is he even _doing _with me? He should be with Quinn!' Rachel rushed out. Brittany sat silently, letting the other girl speak without interruption.

'So I didn't _want _to see Noah because if he didn't trust me enough to tell me about Quinn when we first started this relationship, then _clearly _he must still have _some _kind of feelings for her right? When I went to see him yesterday he just looked at me so _coldly_, like I was Angelina Jolie right after I had stolen Brad Pitt away from him, and he told me I was being ridiculous! That he didn't love Quinn. So I stayed with him because he asked me too, and I left before he woke up. And I'm pretty sure his mother hates me now too,' Rachel finished with a lamenting sigh, her hold on the sweatshirt so tight that her knuckles were almost white.

Brittany regarded Rachel thoughtfully; let the female lead regain control of her emotions before finally speaking. Really it had been a wonder Puck hadn't seen the strain that was practically pulling down Rachel's small frame, the weight of that anxiety and concern so obvious that Brittany was kicking herself for not noticing it the instant she had walked in.

_Duh Puck isn't going to deal with Rachel. That boy barely understands his own feelings half the time. With all that's happened, it's probably best he doesn't handle Rachel's until he's got his head screwed on straight…_

Nonetheless Brittany could tell, despite the exasperation Rachel was feeling with Puck at the moment that she really wished she were with him. Wearing that sweatshirt was like having Puck next to her again, close enough that she could feel him. For all the talk of Puckleberry, Brittany was acutely aware that by not telling Rachel about Quinn's pregnancy, he had unknowingly made the delicate blonde part of their dance card without meaning too.

Noticing the glassy sheen to Rachel's eyes, Brittany slowly wiggled over to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

'Puck doesn't love Quinn Ray,' Brittany whispered kindly. 'He wants _you_. He's pretty messed up right now, and you are too, but you're both going to get through this. Alright?'

Finally the walls Rachel had built up to shield herself from the hurt crumbled and Brittany gathered the girl into her arms as she broke down, pressed her cheek to the side of Rachel's head as something warm dripped onto her neck.

'Good girl,' Brittany said, holding Rachel even when she tried to pull away. After a while the room was filled with the sound of ragged breathing, before lapsing into silence as Rachel grew heavy against Brittany's shoulder.

Easing the brunette down, careful not to wake her, Brittany brushed the strands of her plastered to Rachel's sticky face. Lying down next to her Brittany tenderly laced her fingers through Rachel's, holding still when the latter shifted. Rachel looked at peace, whether deceptive or not, and remarkably like a child who needed to be soothed. Singing a lullaby would feel silly, but there was a song Brittany thought fit Rachel perfectly at the moment. Making sure to keep her voice hushed, the Dutch girl sang.

**Seems the only one who doesn't see your beauty****  
****Is the face in the mirror looking back at you****  
****You walk around here thinking you're not pretty****  
****But that's not true, cause I know you...******

**Hold on, baby, you're losing it****  
****The water's high, you're jumping into it****  
****And letting go... and no one knows****  
****That you cry, but you don't tell anyone****  
****That you might not be the golden one****  
****And you're tied together with a smile****  
****But you're coming undone******

**I guess it's true that love was all you wanted****  
****Cause you're giving it away like it's extra change****  
****Hoping it will end up in his pocket****  
****But he leaves you out like a penny in the rain****  
****Oh, cause it's not his price to pay****  
****Not his price to pay...**

**Hold on, baby, you're losing it****  
****The water's high, you're jumping into it****  
****And letting go... and no one knows****  
****That you cry, but you don't tell anyone****  
****That you might not be the golden one****  
****And you're tied together with a smile****  
****But you're coming undone…**


	80. Chapter 80

Puck chewed the side of his cheek, watching as the wind tugged at Rachel's hair. The dark strands danced wildly about, Rachel tucking them away behind her ear as she huddled closer into Jose's side. He had caught glimpses of Rachel throughout the day, one minute spotting her argyle socks and the next spent looking for her, as she seemed to vanish before his eyes. Things between them had been tense since she had come over and Puck knew it was because he had been a major dick to her. He had come to school armed with an apology, or words strung together he hoped would convey what he felt, only to be thwarted by Rachel avoiding him.

The bleachers had been one place on his list after the auditorium and choir room had turned up empty, only for Puck to see Jose with his arm around Rachel. He couldn't hear their conversation, or see Rachel's face, but Jose's brow was drawn together. Puck had chosen to wait out of sight, for now content to have Rachel within his line of sight.

'Stalker much?' Santana's voice caught him off guard, and Puck practically jumped out of his skin. The Cheerio smirked as Puck scowled at her.

'What do you want Lopez?'

A moment passed and Puck glanced over when Santana didn't reply, saw her gaze trained on Rachel and Jose.

'You okay?' Was not what he expected from her. Puck gaped at the girl, who folded her arms across her chest defensively. 'Well? Answer the question dumbass.'

'Do you even care?' Puck scoffed. A flash of hurt, visible and apparent, flashed across Santana's face.

'Look we might not have the best relationship or whatever, but you were the first guy to give me an orgasm. And that means something to me. So just answer the damn question.'

'I had a daughter a few days ago and now I don't,' Puck answered warily, lifting his shoulder in feigned nonchalance. Santana must have realized that that was all she was going to get on that particular front, whether it was because she understood him or because of the way he hunched over Puck didn't know.

'How's Berry handling it?' Santana jerked her head over towards Rachel. Puck clenched his fists, seeing Jose's arm around his girlfriend's shoulder.

'She's…fine.'

Santana made a noise that signified her disbelief. 'You're fucking kidding me right? I saw her face when she left the hospital.'

Puck shifted uncomfortably where he stood, heard the rustle of synthetic cloth as Santana jutted a hip out. Her elbow brushed against his side.

'What happened to you and Quinn was shit. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Especially since I know how you feel about your Dad,' Santana said, her voice low and steady. 'But you chose to hook up with Berry in the middle of this, so whether you like it or not she completes this little three way.' A pause. 'If it had been me in her shoes, I would have dumped your ass to avoid this soap opera. But she didn't, either because her ability to screech higher than a dog has totally fucked with her brain. Or because she actually sees something in you that's worthwhile.'

Santana stopped, letting her words linger in the air between them.

Puck knew she was right. He winced inside, recalling the callous way he had dismissed Rachel's concerns about Quinn when she had come over the other night. Puck knew if it had been anyone other than Rachel, he would have been left alone to wallow in the darkness of his room. But Rachel had stayed, even if he had woken up to find her gone in the morning. His mother had confessed that she hadn't been particularly nice to Rachel either when the petite brunette had shown up on their front door.

'She thanked me for my hospitality,' Abigail had noted, staring down into her coffee mug. Puck heard the remorse swirling around inside his stomach in his mother's voice, clear as day.

'Rachel's like that,' was what he had murmured.

_She's more than I deserve._

Quinn had looked a shadow of herself when he had seen her between classes. The blonde had checked herself out of the hospital early, though Puck was content knowing Mrs Jones would ensure Quinn didn't tire herself out. She had whisked into school with her head held high beside Mercedes, the latter glaring at anyone who made a snide comment she could hear. He knew that the whispers that followed him were shadowing her as well, and considering the unhealthy obsession Quinn with maintaining her popularity, Puck was sure that the wan smile she had conjured up for him hid the pain underneath. It hurt to look at Quinn, to see his daughter reflected back, and Puck thought that Quinn must be feeling the same way.

_Rachel looked the same as Quinn, didn't she?_

God, and Rachel had called herself selfish. Maybe they had to be self-interested, but that didn't mean Rachel was the only one guilty of being insecure.

_What if she stayed with me because of pity? What if she leaves?_

'God go string Jacob up on the flagpole or something. You look so sad even I want to give you a hug,' Santana sniped, shaking Puck from his thoughts.

'You used to give me wet ones.'

'Fuck you Puckerman.'

'Already did. More than once,' Puck replied automatically. Santana rolled her eyes and jabbed him in the ribs painfully.

'Get your ass to the choir room before Schue's curls go straight with worry or something.'

Puck straightened when he saw Santana sashay over to Rachel and Jose, both getting to their feet. Rachel's eyes widened when she saw Puck, her fingers playing with the hem of her sweater. His chest grew heavy at the gesture.

'Hey,' Puck said somewhat nervously. Jose clapped him on the shoulder, following Santana and leaving Rachel with Puck.

'I…I wanted to call yesterday but I thought…that is, I didn't-'

Rachel abruptly stopped as Puck pressed his lips against hers, snaking his fingers around the base of her skull and fanning the other out over her cheek. He pressed insistently when Rachel didn't respond, relaxing when she returned his kiss almost tentatively. Leaning back, Rachel's lips swollen and his breathing slightly ragged, Puck smoothed a thumb over her cheek.

'I'm sorry,' he said. Rachel flickered her eyes, her stare unwavering for a moment before she nodded.

'Okay,' she whispered and placed her hand over his, giving it a small squeeze.

'We should…talk,' he told her, Rachel smiling when she saw the discomfort on his face.

'We should. Later?'

'Yeah,' Puck agreed, allowing Rachel to lace her fingers through his. They entered the choir room and were quickly ushered into two of the four chairs placed facing the back of the room.

'What's going on?' Rachel asked Quinn, who was seated beside her with her hands folded in her lap. Finn glanced at Puck momentarily.

'Oh for fuck's sake,' Santana muttered loudly before dragging Finn to the last chair, earning her a scandalized look from Mr Schue.

'Okay. What the hell?' Puck said, noticing Kurt herding the rest of the glee club to the center.

'Considering everything you guys have been through these past few days, we thought you should know that you aren't alone,' Artie started.

'You're part of this family, and family takes care of each other no matter what,' Brittany stated firmly, giving Rachel a meaningful look that Puck didn't miss.

'So we prepared a song for you guys to remind you of that. And we're gonna sing it, because we _are _a glee club,' Mercedes pointed out playfully, motioning towards the band members positioned discretely against the side of the wall.

**[Tina]**

**When the daylight's gone and you're on your own  
And you need a friend just to be around**

**[Mercedes]  
I will comfort you, I will take your hand  
And I'll pull you through, I will understand**

And you know that  


**[All]  
**_**I'll be at your side, there's no need to worry  
Together we'll survive through the haste and hurry  
I'll be at your side  
If you feel like you're alone, and you've nowhere to turn  
I'll be at your side  
**_

**[Brittany]  
If life's standing still and your soul's confused  
And you cannot find what road to choose**

**[Santana]  
If you make mistakes (make mistakes)  
You can't let me down (let me down)  
I will still believe (still believe)  
I will turn around  
**

**[Brittany]  
And you know that  
**

**[All]  
**_**I'll be at your side, there's no need to worry  
Together we'll survive through the haste and hurry  
I'll be at your side  
If you feel like you're alone, and you've nowhere to turn  
I'll be at your side**_

I'll be at your side  
I'll be at your side  
You know that  
**[Artie]**_**  
**_**I'll be at your side, there's no need to worry  
Together we'll survive through the haste and hurry**

**[All]**_**  
I'll be at your side  
If you feel like you're alone, you've got somewhere to go,  
'Cos I'm right there  
I'll be at your side, I'll be right there for you  
(Together we'll survive) through the haste and hurry  
I'll be at your side  
If you feel like you're alone, you've got somewhere to go,  
'Cos I'm at your side**_

I'll be right there for you  
I'll be right there for you, yeah  
I'm right at your side 

Puck heard someone choke back a sob, turned his head to see Quinn with a hand over her mouth and her eyes glassy. Finn had her other hand sandwiched between his, cheeks flushing with colour. Rachel stared straight ahead unmoving.

'Yay?' Brittany asked cautiously, eyeing Quinn carefully. The blonde nodded her head sharply, lowering her hand.

'Thank you,' Quinn said hoarsely. Her words broke the taunt beat of tension as Mercedes enveloped Quinn into a hug, everyone else crowding around them. Brittany didn't hesitate sweeping Rachel into her arms, murmuring something into Rachel's ear that had the shorter girl smiling in gratitude. Spotting Santana out of the corner of his eye, Puck pulled her into his arms.

'No coppin' a feel-'

'Thanks San,' he susurrated into her ear, felt her arms tighten around his waist briefly.

'Shit. It freaks me the fuck out when you're this sincere,' Santana remarked before threading her way over to Finn, who looked slightly afraid of the Latina.

'Bump it?' Mike asked, Puck spotting Matt as well. Both boys held out their fists expectantly. Puck obliged, his knuckles grazing against the other two.

'We know we've got to explode it,' Matt stated matter-of-factly, Mike agreeably providing the sound effects as they did.

Puck surveyed the room, took in the people around him. A year ago he would have barely given most of them a second look. But now, he couldn't imagine his life without any of them.

Rachel giggled, drawing his gaze back to her.

_Especially without her._

**a/n: oh. My. Word. This chapter just…refused to come out right. One more chapter folks! ONE MORE!**


	81. Chapter 81

_I'm sorry._

Rachel felt those two words keenly, measuring the import of Puck's apology in her mind. It seemed ludicrous to consider that a softly-spoken pronouncement of regret had eased the weight that had been pressing down on her chest since Puck had told her he was the father of Quinn's baby. Gravel crunched underneath the tires of Puck's truck as he pulled into the lot of a local park near McKinley. A small stretch of grass with a few willows scattered throughout, Rachel noticed with interest that aside from a pair of women jogging on the far side the park was all but deserted.

'C'mon,' Puck said, sliding out of the driver's seat. Rachel waited a beat before following him, startled when Puck's hands gripped her waist to help her down.

'Thank you,' she told him, gifting a grateful curve of her lips. Puck returned the gesture, though it was stuttered. It made Rachel want to sigh out loud, a long drawn out sigh that would communicate the frustration simmering beneath her skin.

_Will talking really help patch this hole?_

Rachel wasn't sure, but she desperately hoped so. Brittany and Jose had both assured her that despite appearances to the contrary Puck very much _wanted _her. The thought made her pulse race and a small thrill race down her spine, only to be tempered when she recalled the obstacles standing in their path.

_But he's worth the fight, isn't he?_

'I used to come here when I was a kid. When my…' Puck trailed off, looking up at the sky. 'When my Dad started hittin' the bottle, and I knew fists were gonna fly, I snuck out and came here. Just sat here until I thought it was safe to go home.'

'Noah,' Rachel breathed out, her fingertips grazing the sleeve of his jacket. Puck flicked his eyes towards her before staring straight ahead.

'It kinda became my spot, you know? When shit hit the fan – when Ma was strugglin' to make ends meet, when I couldn't figure out why the fuck I still mattered – I'd just sit here and things would be cool for a while. It was my safe place or whatever.'

She remained quiet, though letting her fingers wrap around his bicep. Puck sucked in a deep breath, as if drawing in the courage to continue. Rachel had heard about the damage Elijah Puckerman had done before he left Lima. The ladies at Temple were never discreet about their whispers, and Rachel had watched her fathers both scowl in distaste at the way their community had treated Abigail and her children.

'I'm sorry Noah,' Rachel uttered softly, leaning her head onto his shoulder. Puck shifted and seemed to draw her closer.

'Look the whole world knows I screwed up. What I did with Quinn…I should have manned up and told you about it from the start. But I wasn't thinkin' straight, okay? You've been, like, the _only _good thing that's happened to me since I was born. And I just…' Puck trailed off, swallowing. 'I haven't been to this park in a while since we became an us.'

Rachel stilled, letting his words sink in.

_He thinks…I'm his safe place? I can't be his anchor! It's…_

Some of what she was feeling must have filtered through to Puck because he tensed underneath her slightly.

'I'm not tryna pressure you or anything,' Puck mumbled, resisting the urge to huddle in defensively. Rachel angled her head down, chewed her bottom lip as she observed how her fingers couldn't curve all the way around Puck's arm. It was disconcerting to think that Puck – who towered over her and made his body exude strength – needed _her_.

_He said he wanted me after…not Quinn. That means something._

Slowly she slid her hand down the sleeve of his jacket, both her hands tentatively picking at the calloused pads of his fingers. The late evening air was cool, muted sunlight peeking through the boughs of the trees.

'You know there was a time in my life when I wanted _desperately _to be Quinn. She's so beautiful, and everyone adored her. Finn did and it always…it always felt like I was competing with her. And I always lost. But then you came along and that faded away,' Rachel said, her voice quivering. 'Mr Schue told me once that there was a boy out there who would like everything I hated about myself. And then that boy told me that he was having a child with Quinn.'

Rachel paused, blinked rapidly against the burning in her eyes. Hadn't she cried enough on Brittany's shoulder?

'Rach-'

'It hurt Noah. It still does. Because while my heart is telling me that you're still that boy, my head is telling me that I'm still second-best.'

'You're not,' Puck instantly retorted. He roughly jerked her chin up to meet his gaze. 'Fuck how could you even…quit sayin' that, alright?' Though they were bit out, Rachel felt herself soften at his words. Puck narrowed his hazel eyes, studying her face, mumbled something under his breath.

'You're…shit Rachel you're fuckin' _perfect_. And you shouldn't let me or anyone else make you feel anythin' less,' Puck told her, his fingers that were hooked under her chin dropping away.

'I'm not perfect Noah, anymore than you are,' Rachel forced a touch of levity into her tone.

'I'm a Lima loser Berry-'

'_Don't say that_,' Rachel harshly interjected, fisting the front of his shirt. Puck appeared startled at her vehemence but inched closer towards her. 'I really hate hearing you call yourself that.'

'Okay. I won't,' Puck said, looking down onto the crown of her head. Rachel had her hair swept to the side, Puck reaching for the mass that spilled over one of her shoulders. She lost herself for a moment or two, focusing on the rhythmic movement of Puck's hand through her hair before speaking.

'It's not going to be easy Noah, but I think…I think we can work through this.'

Puck seemed to chew over her words. 'Cool,' was all he finally offered.

'I'm going to hug you now,' Rachel stated before wrapping her arms around his waist, letting out a small sigh of contentment when Puck folded his own arms around her frame. She wasn't surprised when Puck tipped her head up, dropped his lips to hers. If there was one thing she had learnt about Puck, it was that he demonstrated his feelings better through touch.

They stayed in the park, Rachel didn't know for how long, in relative silence. Aware of the fact that they were in a public venue, regardless of how little people actually visited the area, Rachel had managed to prevent them both from getting charged with indecent exposure. For a while, like Puck, Rachel imagined that the two of them were in a bubble. Being held, and being touched, by Puck under the waning sunlight filled Rachel with a measure of security.

She made sure her clothes were in order as she got out of the truck before dinner, Puck's gaze making her want to shiver.

'I'll call you tomorrow?' Puck asked hesitantly, and despite the fact that there was still a measure of warranted uncertainty between them, Rachel was looking forward to the day when that diffidence disappeared.

'I'll be expecting it,' she answered, leaning forward to give Puck a chaste peck on the lips. This, of course, soon turned heated. Rachel almost fell over on the seat as Puck drew her tongue into his mouth, resisting the urge to moan as he gently massaged her tongue with his own.

_God, what is he doing to me?_

'Fuck I've missed you,' Puck's voice was raw, and Rachel caught her breath for a different reason.

'You don't have to anymore,' she replied, curving a hand across his cheek. The porch light glared behind her.

'Better go before Daddy breaks out the shotgun,' Puck joked.

'Goodnight Noah,' Rachel shut the passenger door, stepping back from the curb.

'Night baby,' the endearment made the butterflies in her stomach take flight once again. Rachel waved to him from the door, shutting it as Puck's engine rumbled to life.

'Star?' Hiram questioned. 'Was that Noah?'

'Yes it was,' Rachel smiled. 'We talked and…we're going to be okay.'

_Because, despite it all, he's my safe place too._

'Good,' was all Hiram said. 'You received a package today honey. Were you expecting anything?'

Rachel picked up the flat box with curiosity. 'Not that I know of. Kurt did mention he got me a new scarf though…'

Hiram chuckled at the disgruntled expression on Rachel's face.

In her room Rachel placed the package on her bed, carefully peeled back the tape holding down the opening flap. A piece of paper, along with a CD, spilled out.

_Dear Rachel, I thought you should have this._

The brief note was unmarked and Rachel didn't recognize the penmanship.

'Weird,' she uttered softly, placing the CD into the loading tray. It was then that she caught sight of the words scrawled across the disc.

**From Mother to Daughter**

The note fluttered to the floor.

_fin._


	82. Note

**NORTH IS COMPLETED.**

**Kind of.**

**I'm still not done, because like most of you I still want to explore the other characters of my North 'verse. Jose, Santana, Finn, Kurt, Mike, Matt, Brittany, Quinn – there are more than a few gap fillers I have swarming around in my head. So keep a watch out, as they'll be posted under my fic "North: The Outtakes"!**

**There **_**will **_**be a sequel but it won't be up till next year, because I will be swanning off on an epic overseas vacation to celebrate the fact that I am a college graduate thrice over (three degrees ya'll!). I won't be back till early February!**

**Guys it's been a long two-year journey through my lil' Puckleberry fantasy. Thank you to **_**everyone **_**who has read, recced, favourited, alerted and reviewed this (dare I say it) novel. It really means a lot to me, especially considering that the show has for all intents and purposes made me lose faith in **_**Glee**_** as a whole. I hope that you show the same support for my present and future work, because I would probably stop writing otherwise. And nobody wants that, least of all me. Fanfiction has become a much needed outlet in an otherwise regulated and uncreative writing bubble that I have been living in for the past six years. This bubble will likely continue when I find a real job, and I desperately crave a creative outlet!**

**But I digress.**

**Again thank you, thank you, **_**thank you**_** for sticking it out! I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas and a Happy 2012, and do 'keep in touch' through my various social communication tools:**

**Tumblr (where I also post links to my fic updates here) - alien09(dot)tumblr(dot)com**

**Twitter - aswordsworth**

**xoxo,**

**alien09**

**To cap it off, I thought I would share the song that inspired this fic. It's titled 'North' by Majandra Delfino, and I'll put it up on my tumblr tomorrow for your listening pleasure:**

How we made it so far  
We must've slept through half the ride  
The other half had - -  
The view is beautiful outside (')

Oh oh, what have we done today'  
And will it help all of the other days'  
And even though I never asked for something better  
Than you ever could give to me  
Couldn't help but feel there might be something more

You got a way that I could never get from no one  
'Cuz you're someone that gets to me  
And with or without cash (') you keep me high

Careful what you say now  
I just might be listening  
Even when you're playing  
Your words are so much to me

Oh oh, what have we done today'  
And will it hurt all of the other days'  
And even though I never asked for something better  
Than you ever could give to me  
Couldn't help but feel there might be something more

I say I'm leaving but I got nowhere to go  
So in your arms I'll stay, 'til it's okay  
Oh this story is so old

Oh oh, what have we done today'  
And will it hurt all of the other days'


End file.
